AN: I wrote this way back in January but decided to repost as I'm gonna maybe have a go at trying to write some more. This was the first thing I'd ever written and is so disastrously awful, but I was so unimaginably bored, I whipped it up in half hour just to keep myself occupied,, but thought I'd post it anyway.. You really don't need to read it..
Its got a shit load of gramatical errors,, but I'm not gonna edit,, cause its lowest of the low ameteur.
Honestly.. It's awful.
You've missed this, waking up next to him, even in the early stages of your relationship, if you can class it as that back then, when you just wanted him for his body, what he could give yours in return, you hated him, no, not him, you hated what he made you feel even back then, when you tried so very hard not to feel, to make what you shared anymore than a basic carnal desire for each other. On the rare occasions that he had stayed the night, you'd send him packing at two or three in the morning anyway, so you couldn't really class it as spending the night together. It was a shag, a quick fuck- that's what you told yourself, but even then, you knew it was more than that, no matter how quickly you got rid of Steven. Release, quick- sometimes not so quick- sometimes you liked to draw it out, despite yourself. You'd find yourself mulling it over when you lay cold and alone at night, reliving every detail, every sense, every touch, smell and noise that the two of you made. You thought
about it every night, even prison, where you vowed to yourself you wouldn't. You just couldn't help it. You often thought, especially at night when him and Douglas were together, especially then, if things would be, not different, but maybe better if you hadn't thrown him out, practically stark bollock naked, whether it be your flat, the office at the club or the toilet cubicles. You'd always found it hard to bite your tongue on asking him to stay with you, to hold onto or lie next to his slight, warm body. PERFECT body. Cause that's what he was to you, even from the beginning, even when you used to beat him, and insult him. He'd always been that. Whether it be his physical appearance or his attributes. That was a constant.
That's what you had missed. You'd spent years missing it. Only now, you didn't need to miss it. You could bask in the glory that you could have what you craved for so long. You had it every morning. There was no longer any fear of being caught, of people finding out what you did and who you spent the night with. You savoured it. You didn't take it for granted, despite the knowledge that you'd always have it, until Steven didn't want it, want you. After what you'd been through, and what you'd longed for and pursued for over two years, you knew you'd never take it for granted. You'd be thankful to the gods, every day until you were in your grave, like Steven would be in your head, like you'd told him, a silent promise despite him not wanting to hear it that time.
Sometimes you couldn't believe that having your own chest plastered to Stevens back, a leg pushed between his two, intertwining them and your feet together, a lone arm draped across Stevens waist while Stevens own hand clung onto his fingers. Spooning. You could hardly believe that such a simple position could bring you such warmth and intimacy, as close and precious as if you were kissing or hugging. Because that's what this thing was between you now, precious. All of it. Every element of your relationship. God knows it took you long enough to realise it.
Sometimes the kids would walk in in the morning. The first few time you'd stayed here, you'd been flustered, trying to cover it up, explain it, Steven looking at you, not with disappointment, but more like amusement. You hadn't got it. But the kids never batted an eyelid, and it was then you realised it. They were so used to seeing their dad with other men. Noah and Douglas you supposed. They'd grown up the past couple of years, it was normal to them. They didn't care. And you reminded yourself that it was normal. Besides he was their dad too now. Daddy Brendan, that's what Leah had christened him a couple months back. Two simple words. Together. They'd fill him with a warmth, an adoration that he hadn't felt in what felt like ever, not in terms of family.
So the little ones seeing you and Steven in bed together, wrapped around one another was nothing new, nothing out of the norm. It's not like you did anything they could see, which they wouldn't understand or scare them. And even when you and Steven did have a morning shag- which was most mornings- you'd ALWAYS take the time to lock the door. The kids might have no problem with seeing yourself and Steven share a quick peck on the lips or your arms around his waist when he was slaving over the hob with dinner. One of Stevens many attributes. Another reason you loved him. But he was pretty certain they'd never seen anything more intimate than that. So no matter how caught up in the throws of passion they were, locking the door was a necessity. Careful.
This morning however, that all went to pot. The vital error of not being efficient in shielding the bedroom from what was on the other side. It was almost impossible when Steven was whispering into his mouth. It was early morning, earlier than what they usually woke up at. The kids wouldn't be up for a good couple of hours. You protested, the two of you had been caught in clinches enough times in the past, they were half-hearted though, it was hard when Steven's layed on top of you, slim, warm and naked. Body pressed, heavy with sleep, against the length of yours. Mouth firmly planted against your own nipples. Sucking and nipping, fingertips lightly running through your chest hair and then lower- you unable to hold back the low, gruff, sultry moans tumbling from your mouth before you can reign them in, Steven lightly fondling you. You having to relinquish control. Something you'dve hated once upon a time, With any man. But what you had now was different. Everything was different. Well. Not everything. But most things, the things that mattered.
You'd conceded in the end. Given up. Let your breathy protests die in the back of your throat. Given in to the pleasure, the pleasure that only Steven could give and take from you. Big mistake..
Things got heated quickly, like they always did with yourself and him. You'd been on top him, beneath the covers, only the top half of both of you exposed to the cool, crisp breeze wafting in from the slight crack in the open window. Goosebumps on the both of you, although that was unclear of whether they were formed from the cold air or what you were in the process of doing, or the anticipation of what you were close to doing. Steven's legs were wrapped around you waist, ankles cross at the small of your back, just above your backside. Your chests pressed as close as possible together, you know your probably a hefty weight on him at times, your certainly not chubby, but you've gained a lot of muscle since you first started sleeping with him, heaviest you've been in your life, but you know Steven can take it, if he couldn't he'd say, although you know he loves it. He's told you so. Your foreheads pressed together, breathing in and exchanging each others breath. You never bother brushing in the morning, either of you. Disgusting, you know a lot of people would find, but you're so comfortable with each other, with everything, that why bother with something as small as that. And anyway, Steven smells delectable, clean teeth or not.
Steven's neck is peppered with deep red bite marks, your teeth, where you bit down and suckled the skin last night, like there was no tomorrow, like it has always been, even amongst the darks days, you couldn't resist tasting him at the time, regretting the next day, when it stood out like a sore thumb. Both your bodies slick with sweat, worked up to a frenzy, despite Steven only given you a quick blowjob. But then Steven's always been stellar at that side of things. He's insatiable- this man of yours, but then you both are, you've been told by him enough times.
A hand between Stevens legs, beneath the covers, ready to slip your fingers in, hardly able to contain yourselves, once you started, you found it hard to stop. And most would to, if they heard what you heard. Steven letting out little moans, quiet, beautiful moans, wanton moans, something you'd always loved about him in the sack. Such a turn on, Everything laid out for Brendan on a silver bed shaped platter.
You had a finger, halfway in, lubed up. Eyes fixed on Steven's face, studying everything. Just as you'd pushed all the way down to the knuckle, fingertip brushing against that spot inside Steven that made him arch his back slightly. About to slick another finger up, your heart had skipped a beat, when you'd heart, from behind you,, the bedroom door creaking open. Your head swivelled round, Little Leah in your periphial,, it was blatantly clear to anybody older maybe, but all you could think in those few seconds is to start wrestling with Steven. You didn't think Leah should see two people like that. She's only six for fuck sake. You started wrestling, like you would if playfighting. You already had one of Steven's arms pinned to the mattress beneath you , with your spare hand. The one that wasn't busy. His other hand was gripping your bicep, painfully so. Pleasure and pain. The perfect metaphor for the both of you. Steven hadn't realised what was happening, only a few seconds had passed after all, and he didn't seem to have heard the door, Leah hadn't spoke after all. He was about to open his mouth, ask why I wasn't doing anything, had just started lightly pinning him down, fingers quickly withdrawn, making him wince ever so slightly in discomfort. Shook my head, eyes wide, gestured to the doorway subtly. Too late though.
Leah quickly ran out, a door slamming a few seconds later...
AN: As much as I'm slating my own words,, I'd love thoughts on it,, it could of been worse if it had included extensive Doug mentions though so,, small mercys and all that..