Somewhere between here and there
She had seen this look before. It was a far-off look, full of concentration and determination. All in all, it was quickly becoming Natsu's "I'm thinking too hard" look. She wasn't sure what it was about, she would ask of course, but he would just look at her and smile "Just thinking about what I am going to eat today!" He was lying, Natsu never thought this hard about food. It was simple, he let his nose and stomach take over and whatever happened to come his way, he would eat it. This was something bigger, it was something that had been eating at him for weeks, and she knew in her heart he would tell her in his own time. He was sitting on the floor against her bed, knees bent supporting his elbows, his hands entangled in his hair. He had been sitting like that, starring at the floor for 30 mins, which was truly a record considering there was no food or sleeping involved. She was thankful for the peace and quiet but frankly seeing him like this was becoming a little unnerving. She let out a small sigh and pushed back her chair as she got up. The sigh broke him of his concentration and he watched her approach till she was kneeling in front him. "Natsu" she whispered "what's going on?" He reached forward and gently grabbed her shoulders bringing her forward till her head was resting against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her embracing her and rested his chin atop of her head. Before, before Alvarez, before Tenrou, this would have made her flustered, her brain would have needed to reboot and her face would be a continuous cycle of various shade of red. Now, after everything they had gone through, all the things they had lost, this was normal. It wasn't romantic or sexual, it was about filling in that never-ending void, they anchored each other to reality. "luce" he whispered into hair, she could feel his breath on her scalp as he inhaled and exhaled before continuing. "I'm not sure if I can do this" her breath hitched, not knowing exactly where this was headed she felt as if her heart suddenly became too heavy for her chest. "So many things have changed, you and I are no longer the same people that we were when we started. I am not sure…. I'm not sure things will ever go back to the way they were." He embraced her a little tighter, trying to give her that little extra reassurance. "After finding about who and what I am, about the things that I am capable of doing…." This time it was her turn to embrace him, she felt like she needed to hold him as close as she could, as if his next set of words would make her crumble at any moment. "Going back to Fairy Tail…. pretending like I can just go back to doing lost item request, or Vulcan hunting, as if nothing has changed…" She slowly let go of his torso and sat up, she needed to see him in the face. "You don't want to be a Mage anymore? You don't want to be a part of Fairy Tail? Natsu, we are your family! We would do anything for you!" She knew Natsu hadn't visited the guild in weeks, not after everything that happened with Zeref. Everybody knew he needed space and time to digest everything that had happened. They had all lost a father during that war, Master's death had taken a huge toll on everyone. Natsu wrapped his hand around the back of Lucy's head and carefully brought her forehead against his own. He closed his eyes "Luce, I would never ever leave Fairy Tail" he chuckled then "and damn near nothing is ever going to stop me from being a Mage. I just can't quite go back to the Natsu I was yet. This war has made me realize that there is so much more out there past Fiore. Luce, past this country are new foods we can discover and new monsters we can fight!" He had let go of her at this point, his excitement getting the best of him. She looked at him cautiously "we?" He stopped laughing and looked at her with his head tilted to the side "yeah, ya weirdo. Wasn't it you who said that it was more fun when we are together? You're coming with me!"