A/N: Edited - sorry for the weird formatting before. I should have checked to make sure everything was okay. Thanks Mr. E for pointing that out!

"Stan."

"Yeah?"

"I... Uh..."

"What's up, dude?"

"Willyougooutwithme!?"

I mentally slapped myself. That wasn't at all as graceful as I had intended it to be.

He was silent, staring at me with a look of poignant surprise.

"Kyle, I..."

I felt my face grow uncomfortably hot.

"I'm flattered," he started. My heart fluttered.

"But, I - I don't swing that way dude."

"...Oh." I exhaled sharply, feeling all of my hopes leaving with the air I expelled.

"I had no idea you felt that way, Kyle." Stan said, his eyes wavering and brows knitted. "If I ever led you on, I'm sorry."

"No." I answered too quickly, "No, it's fine. I'm sorry. I guess I just assumed..."

"Look, Kyle, you're my best friend. But I just don't feel that way about you."

I fell silent, positive that soon enough I wouldn't be able to keep it together and I'd become a sobbing mess on top of this embarrassing admittance of my feelings.

Stan sighed wistfully. "Shit." He ran a hand through his dark hair. "How long have you felt this way?"

"I don't know." I gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying. "A long time. At least since middle school."

Stan looked at me quizzically, as if he was waiting for me to explain why I felt this way. Hell if I knew.

"This was stupid. I should go." I said, turning briskly on my heel. I wished I could simply curl up into a minuscule point in the universe - unknown to anyone or anything. This was mortifying.

"Kyle, wait." He called after me. My stomach clenched as I stopped myself in a rather animated fashion, but didn't turn around in fear of a tear escaping down my burning cheeks.
"We can still be friends, okay? I mean, if that's fine with you."

"Yeah." I replied meekly. "Okay. I just need some time alone right now though."

"Alright, dude. I'll... I'll talk to you later then."

"Right."

I heard him walk off in the opposite direction towards his first class, taking the alternate route.

And with that, the first day of my senior year of high school had started to unravel at the seams, pulling apart the rest of my year with a messy rip. How I would stitch it back together was unknown to me then - but I never could have imagined the outcome of the future.

~Earlier that morning~

"Hey guys!" I called to Stan, Kenny, and Cartman.

"Hey, Kyle." Stan and Kenny answered, while Cartman remained silent as he watched me approach.

"It feels like it's been forever since we've talked." I said as I stopped in front of them. All three of them were lounging around the huge oak tree in the main courtyard, where we've spent most of our school mornings.

"Only like, a few months." Kenny laughed.

"Yeah, true." I smiled.

He had gotten rid of that stupid parka once we got into high school - so now people could actually understand what he was saying. The outfit he wore the most now was an orange hoodie and jeans.

Stan remained almost the same, still sporting his hat from grade school. It was amazing that it still fit him. He had, however, since replaced his coat with a varsity jacket. Still the South Park Cows. This town didn't have much imagination when it came to mascots.

Our group didn't hang out as much as we used to when we were kids. We rarely talked outside school, since each of us seemed to be wrapped up in our own lives and problems. Despite the limited contact, we still remained fairly close. It seemed our group could withstand the test of time after all.

I think a majority of the reason we've all stuck together is Cartman. Any time he had some harebrained get-rich-quick scheme or some other plan to get what he wanted, he almost always came to us. Even throughout middle school and freshman year, Cartman hadn't seemed to have changed all that much since we were kids. He remained a spoiled, bigoted brat in those years.

But more recently, he's seemed to have mellowed out. His change in demeanor was more thank likely due to the time he spent in a mental ward during sophomore year after he had been caught trying to make some poor kid eat his own vomit for calling him fat. That, in addition to a plethora of many other juvenile acts, got his ass shipped to the mental institution in Denver.

He's been very quiet since he came back. I'm not sure what they did or said to him there - but it seemed to have scared the shit out of him.

Nobody rags on him anymore, really, since he hardly ever says anything himself. Often, though, he looks like he's struggling inside to try and bite back an insult or a stinging retort.

He'd also lost a fair amount of weight while he was away. Not enough to be called 'thin' - not by a long shot - but his baby fat had disappeared. His weight fit his body type more evenly now, leaving him shorter and stocky, but not in an unflattering way.

"So, you guys ready for another shitty year?" Stan asked no one in particular as he tapped away at his phone.

"At least it's our last year." I reasoned. "Once this is over, we can leave this shithole town and actually do something with ourselves."

"Eager to get out of here?" Kenny asked rhetorically, smiling.

"Who isn't?" Cartman spoke up finally.

We all looked at him simultaneously, his words even breaking Stan's undivided attention from his phone. He was resting nonchalantly with his back up against the trunk of the tree, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I, for one, am so sick of dealing with all these redneck douchebags."

"You can say that again." I said cynically. "This place is full of idiots."

Cartman looked at me for a long moment like he was going to say something, but then decided against it. Instead, he nervously licked his lips and directed his gaze towards the ground.

"Anyway," Stan said, "I don't even know what I'm going to do after high school. Do any of us?"

"Well, I want to travel." Kenny answered. "I can't afford to go to college anyway." He sighed.

Stan laughed. "Dude, we should all just do that."

I smiled. I loved hearing Stan's laugh - it made me feel like laughing too.

Today was the day. I was going to tell him how I felt. I had been meticulously planning this moment for months now. I would confront him at his locker before class started, and ask the question. I felt a little sick to my stomach thinking about it, but I couldn't back out now. Not after I spent so long psyching myself up.

"Hey, Craig! Tweek!" Kenny called suddenly. "Over here!" He waved across the courtyard.

A tall, dark haired boy approached us, his small timid boyfriend in tow.

"Hey dudes." Kenny greeted them, his wide grin missing a few teeth.

"Yo." Craig replied, stoic as ever. He was wearing a blue jacket and a hat similar to what he wore when we were younger.

"Ah, hi Kenny." Tweek said shyly, shaking a little. He looked just as disheveled as ever.

They had been dating since middle school, and never really seemed to have many issues with their relationship. They also kept to themselves for the most part, so it was hard to tell if that was entirely accurate. But they complimented each other nicely regardless.

"'Sup?" Stan asked, his attention returned to his phone screen.

"Not much. Just ready to try and get through another year." Craig said flatly. "Right, Tweek?" He added.

The frail blonde startled at his name, jolting out of his own thoughts. He clung to Craig's arm.

"R-right. I, uh, I just hope there's not too much, ah, p-pressure."

Craig put his free arm around the quaking form of Tweek to try and calm him, resting his forehead against the blonde's.

"It'll be fine." He whispered. "We'll get through one more year. We've made it through 11 of them."

"Y-yeah." Tweek said shakily. "That's uh - t-true."

"...So." Kenny broke the moment.

Craig cleared his throat, returning to his neutral stance. There was a very faint blush on his cheeks.

The bell rang then, signaling that we had seven minutes to get to our first class.

"Shit, we gotta go." Craig said. "See you later." He waved as him and Tweek started to walk away.

"See ya." We all said synchronously as we watched them go.

"...Well, that was awkward." Cartman spoke, his stark expression unchanging.

"Hey," I said angrily, turning to him, "Tweek has a lot of anxiety issues. Lay off."

"It was a little uncomfortable watching that, though." He motioned with his head away towards the distant figures of Craig and Tweek.

"That's a really stupid thing to say. Can't you at least TRY and have a little empathy for once?"

"I can if I want to. Just not in this instance. I felt awkward."

"What, are you homophobic now, fatass?"

As soon as that last word left my mouth I regretted it. Riling up Cartman over the one thing he was sensitive about was not a smart idea, especially since he came back from his time in Denver.

He looked at me in disbelief, his relaxed demeanor gone. Some secretive and flimsy part of his self-esteem had been fractured, the rest of his insecurities toppling down with it. "Are we regressing back to elementary school now, Kyle? Or should I say, 'stupid asshole Jew'?"

"No - I," I felt embarrassment and anger rising in my face, "I didn't mean to -"

"Oh, real mature Kyle! You haven't changed at all, have you?" He left his leaning position and came to jab a finger in my chest. "At least I've made some god damn effort!"

"It was an accident! Besides, you were being really insensitive!" I snapped. "It's not like you've changed all that much either!"

Cartman was still and utterly silent, his face drawn up into a frozen look of disgust and loathing.

A long time passed before his features slackened, and he took a step back from me.

"Whatever." He scoffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and kicking a rock at his feet. "I guess we're both still huge dicks then."

He walked away, kicking the same rock along as he went.

"Damn, dude." Stan said, gawking at me. "That was hardcore."

"Well, no matter how much I think he wants to believe that he's different - he hasn't learned a thing." I said simply, crossing my arms. "I don't think he'll ever grow up. He's just a spoiled brat - and I've dealt with his shit too long to put up with it anymore."

"I don't know, Kyle." Kenny chimed in, "I think he really has been making an effort."

"Could have fooled me." I growled.

"Kenny's right." Stan interjected, "Even if, deep down, Cartman is still a contemptuous asshole - he's been better at hiding it." He paused. "You can't just expect him to be a new person overnight."

"I know," I sighed, "But I feel like if he hasn't made any progress at this point in his life, he never will."

"I don't know, dude. I guess we'll just have to see if he'll finally learn something this year."

"I suppose." I said, unconvinced.

"Hey, we better get to class." Stan changed the subject. Kenny groaned dramatically.

"Stan, we're going the same way to first hour right?" I asked, feeling my stomach flip. I had almost forgotten about my plan.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Cool, I'll walk with you then."

This was it. I was going to ask him.

"Okay. Bye, Kenny." Stan nodded to the blonde.

"Bye, dude." I smiled.

"See you two at lunch." Kenny replied as Stan and I made our way towards the school.

And that was the beginning of the end.