Warnings: BOOK 5 SPOILERS! (And some cursing, too!)
Summary: A cursed book transports two enemies into a living, jumbled up fairy tale, where Draco becomes prince, and Hermione is stuck living with three prince-adoring stepsisters and an evil stepmother. A fairy tale romance, with less ups than downs.
Resisting the KingPrologue: How It Began
Transparent sheets of her blond hair blew delicately in the biting wind, swirling with the waves of snow drifting so pristinely upon the Hogwarts' grounds. Surrounding students stopped packing their perfect snowballs and drew away from their snowman creations to momentarily marvel at the sight of her trudging through the deep layers of snowfall- not due to an overabounding beauty, not because she was hideous to look at, but due to their general consensus that she, Luna Lovegood, was most definitely a loony one.
Eyes bulged at the thin chemise she wore year-round, and the floaty silver skirt she reserved especially for weekends- every weekend she was liberated from classes, whether sweltering heat or wading through torrents of snowfall.
Luna hugged her arms to her chest, holding a thick tome close to protect it from the biting gusts of snow-thick wind. The sound of crunching snow grew heavy behind her, and she brought up a hand to shield her eyes from the wind and looked.
Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe-Goyle (Luna was convinced they were actually only one person and refused to name them separately) all towered behind her, their faces glimmering with snide leers.
"Love what you're wearing, Loony," Pansy cooed, "Perfect for the weather."
"Why thank you, Pansy," she replied sincerely with a smile, choosing to remain oblivious to the sarcasm.
Pansy's grin disappeared, hurt that her unpleasant words hadn't made the desired impact.
"What are you holding?" asked Draco suddenly, oddly interested.
"A book," she deadpanned.
There was a breath of stupefied silence.
And then he effortlessly lunged and tore the book from her delicate, pale-fingered grasp, and gave her a snide, winning smirk. No one made a Malfoy feel stupid. Pansy released a hideous cackle, clapping delightedly at Draco's heroism.
The pallid girl merely stared, protuberant eyes continuing to rake across them.
"You probably should give that back," she intoned airily, outstretching an impatient hand.
"Why? Is Loony Lovegood going to cry?" Pansy screwed her face into an exaggerated pout, puffing out her glossed lips and looking dolefully up from beneath a fringe of mascara.
"What use is it to you?" she questioned dreamily, and with a half-smile, added, "None of you are bright enough to know how to use it, anyway."
"I'm a prefect for a reason," Draco cut in indignantly, ignoring Crabbe and Goyle who were restlessly grunting and cracking their knuckles. "The only reason I wouldn't know how to use it is if it's some useless 'artifact' your affected father claims to have obtained from the Rumple Skinned Humpbacks-"
"Crumple Horned Snorkacks, you mean. And you're welcome to borrow it, I suppose. Just return it once you realize you can't figure it out. Or once you can't figure how to get out."
Luna smiled again, to a pun only she understood, and basked in their baffled expressions.
And that simply, without even putting up a fight, she gave them a slight wave and walked off, her slender figure quickly obscured by a shadow of snowfall.
"Well," rumbled Crabbe after a breath of shocked silence and another prominent crack of a knuckle. "We showed her."
Goyle grunted in agreement.
____
And the news of the big bad Slytherin thugs harassing the poor, defenseless Ravenclaw traveled along the Hogwarts gossip chain fast, and the boasting had already begun.
"You should have seen her crying," Pansy exclaimed as she strutted through the hallway with an expanding group of admiring fourth years, "She was practically on her knees begging."
"Really, Pansy?" they exclaimed in unison, "I wish I could be like you!"
And with a satisfied smirk and a brilliant toss of her hair, she traipsed to the Great Hall for lunch as they followed, two steps behind, lugging her makeup suitcase and an armload of her books and quills.
Already at the Great Hall, this event caused quite the commotion at the Gryffindor table, and Luna had become an honorary Gryffindor for the day, taking a seat between Hermione and Harry as they attempted to do both an interrogation and devour several plates of lunch.
"So what did exactly Malfoy do to you?" Hermione asked breathlessly, between bites of chicken.
"He's just borrowing my book," Luna replied, dismissively, looking dreamily off into the empty space behind Hermione.
Ron shot her a withering look.
"Borrowing your book? Since when were you on such good terms with that prat?"
"And I hope you do know he's not going to give it back," added Hermione, matter-of-fact, giving Ron an approving nod.
"Of course he will," Luna replied, less perturbed than Ron and Hermione would have liked. "He doesn't know what to do with it."
"Well," began Ron tentatively, "Since it's a book, wouldn't you read it?"
"Oh, Ron," sighed Hermione, clearly annoyed, "I'm sure Malfoy wouldn't have gone through the trouble to steal-"
"-Borrow," interjected Luna coldly. "He's borrowing it."
"Okay," Hermione continued, "he wouldn't have gone through the trouble to 'borrow' a normal book, would he? It must be special in some way-"
"He got it from the leader of the Crumple Horned Snorkacks," Luna answered proudly, the dreamy smile finally returning to her face.
"So then isn't this important to you?"
"Of course it is-"
Hermione stood up at once.
"Then I'm going to go get it!" she declared loudly as she banged a fist decisively against the wooden table, eliciting several questioning looks from neighboring Gryffindors.
Just then, she saw a familiar, pointy-faced, slick-haired ferret skulking out of the double doors and disappearing into the hallway-
-holding a large, unmistakable maroon tome.
Hunter having spotter prey, she stormed out of the hall and became his shadow.
___
Draco threw the book atop of the desk in frustration. He raked his fingers across the smooth maroon cover, made of some aging animal hide and embossed with fading strips of gold. Twenty minutes had gone by and he couldn't even manage to open it. It's aging pages remained shut, red binding still taut and gleaming up at him tauntingly.
He had, of course, tried physically prying it open, using all his strength yet still unable to even bend open a corner. Luna's words repeated tauntingly in his mind:
None of you are bright enough to know how to use it!
He snatched the book off the table and slammed it upon it once more in frustration, not even rewarded by a simple groan of the spine or a crease in the binding.
At that, Hermione Granger burst through the door, wand raised and pointed, aimed straight at his face.
"Has Luna sent one of her dogs to collect this for her?" he mocked, waving the tome in from of his face casually. A smirk grew on his face as she bristled perceptibly.
"Speaking of dogs, where's your pug-faced lover Pansy? Too busy screwing every other guy in school?"
"Oh, Hermione," he scolded mockingly, "There's no need to be bitter because a Dirtblood like you can't get anyone but Dirty Potter who never washes his hair and Dirt-poor Weasly-"
"Shut up, Malfoy. Just give me the damn book."
He let out an exaggerated sigh, and extended the book towards her, teasingly. Hermione grabbed for it, and he swiped it away, just out of reach.
"What's the use in giving it to you? You probably couldn't open it, either."
"Of course I could!" she sputtered in reply, indignant.
"If a Pureblood can't open it, I'm sure someone of your kind wouldn't be able to…"
"Oh shut up and let me try."
He smirked as she grabbed the book from his grasp and set it on the table, looking at it speculatively. She had, of course, fallen into his trap. Draco would get the satisfaction of finding out what was inside, without actually having to work for it.
Dumb Mudblood.
"It's simple!" she exclaimed suddenly, whipping her wand out of a fold in her robes. "The Quibbler reported that the Snorkack's major weakness is the fact that they're deathly ticklish. So if we wanted to unbind their charm, all we would have to do is-"
She pointed her wand at the book. "-Rictusempra!"
Suddenly, the book emitted a hollow laugh, and an airy Click! confirmed her hypothesis immediately. Hermione turned to face Draco, triumphantly.
"So what were you saying about my kind?"
But he ignored her, he was already at the book, his fingers thumbing the cover and now tugging it open-
And before Hermione could stop him, it was open, and a brilliant flash of yellow completely enveloped them.
Later, when Harry and Ron would look for her, they would find only an empty classroom, her wand, and the tome, lying harmlessly open upon a desk.
____
Author's Note: Hopefully, that wasn't too painful to read. I was inspired to write this story for a number of reasons:
1) Recent late night marathons of Fushigi Yuugi
2) Classic Disney movies
Please review! They encourage me to snap out of my perpetual writer's block and make me feel less crappy about my writing. And of course, helpful criticisms are always welcome. Thanks for reading!