"Trust me!" Gail said, dragging a heavy cooler out of the back of Chris' truck. Chris was instantly by her side, relieving her from carrying the cooler and shutting the back of the truck. Gail gave him a grateful smile and turned to Andy and Traci. "This is just what we all need."
It was true. With everything that had been going on lately, their lives, personal and professional had gotten hectic. Between Jerry's death hitting Traci so hard, Chris finding out he had a kid, Gail almost losing her badge, Andy and Nick's UC job and Dov trying to stay away from Crystal, everyone had gotten so stressed and wound up. A group trip to the beach had been Gail's plan, but the idea had sounded enticing to everyone. A day at the beach to unwind and get away from everything for a little while; who wouldn't jump at an opportunity like that?
"Trust you?" Andy teased. "Does that really seem like a good idea to anyone here? Anyone?"
Gail pretended to look offended, but she ended up smiling. Since nearly losing her badge, Andy had noticed a change in Gail. It was subtle, but it was there. Don't be fooled; Gail still acted like a bitch sometimes. But she smiled more and joked more rather than using blunt sarcasm to be a jerk.
They trekked the short distance from the packed parking lot to the sand; it felt longer because of the heat hanging over all of them.
Andy kicked off her flip flops once she reached the sand, tucking them into her bag that was slung over her shoulder. She sighed as her feet came in contact with the warm sand and she wiggled her toes. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.
It took them an unusual amount of time to decide on the 'perfect' spot, considering they all had differing opinions. Traci wanted a place that had a lot of sun while Gail wanted to be near one of the lifeguards. The guys wanted to be closer to the water. But eventually, they were settled on their towels, an umbrella perched lopsided in the sand and the cooler was cracked open.
"Toss me a beer?" Andy asked, stripping off her tank top and wriggling out of her shorts to reveal her simple deep purple bikini. The swell of her breasts were there for everyone to see and Gail watched the guys stare at her appreciatively. She elbowed Nick in the ribs.
Dov leaned over, raising his eyebrows at Gail as he grabbed a can out of the cooler. Gail pointedly ignored him but Dov wasn't fooled. He gently tossed the beer over to Andy as requested. She caught it with ease, gasping as the cool metal came in contact with her bare skin. She cracked it open and leaned back on one shoulder facing the rest of the group, her long hair flowing over her shoulder.
The others soon followed Andy's lead and stripped off the unnecessary clothing; the guys discarding their shirts and Gail and Traci were soon in their bathing suits. Gail's was black and skimpy and Traci's was hot pink with ruffles.
Soon, they were all drinking and eating, chatting and laughing; relaxing, just as was planned. Andy had to admit, Gail was right about this one. This was exactly what everyone needed. They all avoided talking about everything that was going on in life and chose instead to enjoy the moment.
Andy shielded her eyes, observing everyone. She watched as Nick rubbed sunscreen all over Gail who was grumbling about being so pale that she couldn't sit out in the sun for long before turning into a lobster. Andy looked at Traci and smirked; neither one had any use for sunscreen. Andy still wasn't sure how she felt about Nick. Every time she looked at him, she saw the gun he held to her head. It was something she would get over, but it would take time.
Chris stood up, pulling a beach ball out of nowhere. "Come on guys, into the water!" he prompted, tossing the ball into the air so the rainbow of colors became a blur.
Everyone stood up and chased each other towards the waves. They turned heads without even trying; whether it was from their looks or the fact that they were adults acting like children they weren't sure.
They splashed into the water, disturbing some older people beside them who shot them dirty looks and quickly exited the water. "Someone's allergic to fun!" Gail called out and Dov snorted. Andy dove head first into the water, reveling as the salt water cooled off her feverish skin. She surfaced a few feet away from the others, her hair slicked back.
They began a fun game of what started off as some version of volleyball but then very soon after became a game of keep away from Dov, who was not thrilled with the game, but played along, even getting the ball a couple of times.
A few hours later, they dragged themselves, exhausted and giggling back up the beach to where their things lay. They were wet and soon had every stray grain of sand sticking to them and getting into places that was super uncomfortable.
Andy collapsed on her towel, still laughing, her head falling to the side, watching as everyone fell back into the places they once were. She lay down, finding a nice position to tan. She closed her eyes, but kept listening to the group as some of them carried on scattered conversations. There was only so much small talk they could manage before they delved into more sensitive topics.
"So what was the undercover job like?" Chris asked, taking a swig of beer. Chris was a good cop, but he didn't have that natural raw instinct that Andy had or the kind of training that Nick had had in the army. He knew that he would never get an opportunity for any type of undercover job. He may have been the poster boy of 15 Division, but an undercover cop, he was not. So, he chose to live vicariously through the cops who had more exciting opportunities.
"Chris, I thought this was supposed to be a work free zone," Gail groaned, her big sunglasses taking up more than half of her face.
"It is," Chris said. "I just really want to know what it was like." He gave a small apologetic smile.
"It is boring a lot of the time," Andy admitted. "Until you get a part of the action. It may not be long, but it really gets your heart going." She was referring to when she had gone searching for Nick and got caught looking at one of the drug lord's computers. Before she knew it, she had been knocked unconscious and awoke in the back of a truck that was carting around meth.
Andy slowly let her eyes drift shut once more, allowing Nick to give Chris the dirty details he wanted. Andy still didn't much want to talk about it. Andy was so relaxed she could have fallen asleep. In fact she might have dozed off a couple of times. She could feel the stress seeping out of her shoulders…
Turning her head opposite her friends, she let one eye slide open part of the way. The world was slightly discolored from having her eyes closed against the bright sun for so long. A man with dark hair and a fine physique walked by and she could have sworn it was…
Almost against her will, Andy shot up, getting a little dizzy from getting up too fast. Or was it one of the many beers she had downed? She went to go look for the man that had reminded her of Sam, but he was gone.
"Andy, are you alright?"
Everyone was looking at her, concern etched in their faces. It was obvious she had interrupted the easy flow of conversation and she silently cursed herself. Leave it to her to ruin their relaxing evening.
She slowly realized that they were all looking at her expectantly; awaiting an answer. "Oh yeah, I'm alright. Sorry everyone." She gave a small smile and after a few minutes, everyone turned back to what they were doing. Her mouth was dry and she kept swallowing, trying to shake off the feeling that thinking she saw Sam gave her. Shakily, she lay back down on the towel.
But just like that, her thoughts gave way and she could think of nothing but Sam. Sweet, delicious Sam. Stupid, backstabbing Sam.
She closed her eyes and all she could see was Sam's lips all over Marlo's. Andy was surprised to feel the back of her eyes stinging signaling the onslaught of tears. This led her to get pissed at herself almost instantly. How many more tears was she going to shed for this guy? Sure, she had fallen in love, but it wasn't like she hadn't been in love before. It was clear that at first, he hadn't returned her sentiments. He couldn't even say it until she was holding a bomb. Then she comes back from her UC job and he is already all over the new recruit? That's not love. It seemed Sam Swarek didn't know the meaning of the word love.
But really, did she expect Sam to sit around for the six months she was gone, pining away for her? That wasn't how he operated; she of all people should have known that. And what the hell was he doing being a detective? It didn't make any sense to her. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to take the undercover case. Or maybe she shouldn't have called Sam when she needed help. Either way, that was in the past.
Andy needed to stop living in the past she realized. She couldn't change anything that already had happen. Instead, she needed to focus on the present, maybe the future. Most of all, she needed to get Sam Swarek out of her head for good. That would be the hardest thing.
Feeling satisfied with both her train of thought and her tan, Andy sat up, blinking a couple of times to get used to the change in light. The sun was sitting lower in the sky, she realized.
She also realized that she wasn't the only one lost in thoughts that were dragging her down. Traci was sitting, hugging her knees to her chest. Andy scooted over to her, snagging a water bottle out of the cooler and passing it to her. Traci looked up at her and thanked her and Andy noticed tears in her eyes before she looked back down.
"Thinking about Jerry?" Andy said knowingly, but quietly so it was just the two of them having the conversation.
"Am I that transparent?" Traci said, wiping her eyes.
"C'mon Trace, I'm your best friend. I can tell when you are upset," Andy said. She knew that Traci could do the same thing to her as well.
"It's just hard," Traci conceded. "I keep thinking about the time Jerry surprised me and he got Leo and he drive us out to the beach and we spent the whole day there. He was so good with Leo," Traci said, reminiscing. "Telling Leo was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He misses him as much as I do."
"I know it's hard right now, Trace. But it's going to get easier. And I'll be right here, helping you through it," Andy said, drawing Traci close into a hug. Andy kept thinking about the fact that Sam had ultimately blamed her and her instincts for getting Jerry killed. It still haunted her to this day.
Traci allowed herself to be comforted for a few minutes before thanking Andy and they both threw themselves back into the group, trying to have fun, even if it killed them. It wasn't long before they were talking and laughing again.
Suddenly, Andy felt someone by her ear. It was Nick.
She couldn't help it; she involuntarily flinched away from him. He looked hurt, but he shook it off and she didn't say anything about it. He handed her a drink, but lingered by her. Feeling that he wanted to tell her something, she turned ever so slightly in his direction.
A smile remained plastered on his face, but he said to her, "You remember that night…?"
That was all he had to say. It had been a mistake. It was a long time undercover. They were both lonely and scared. They needed someone and they were there. They had slept together and had vowed never to speak of it again.
"I remember," she choked out. "What about it?"
He hesitated, knowing she held all the cards in this situation. "Can we just not tell Gail about this? I know we said we didn't want to tell anyone, but I really don't want anyone to find out, especially her." He looked sheepish. "I just got her back. I don't want to lose her again."
Andy understood. And it wasn't like she thought sleeping with Nick that one time was going to lead into a relationship. She had no intention of telling anyone either. But him asking her again, it felt like a slap in the face. Like everyone else's lives were coming together and hers was ripping apart at the seams.
"Yeah, sure, no problem," Andy replied wearily, more to get him away from her than anything. There was no way she was going to ruin Gail's happiness. "It was a mistake, nothing more."
Nick sensed he had hurt her feelings and he gave her a look of concern before he noticed Gail's sharp eyes glaring into him like daggers. With a parting look, he made his way back to Gail's side.
It wasn't long before dark fell. An unusual chill seemed to imbed itself into them.
Shivering, Andy pulled her clothes back on, gazing up at the many stars that she could see twinkling in the sky. If only she had someone special to share them with… But no, she was enjoying this time with her friends instead.
All too soon, the evening was over. They all began packing things up, trying to make sure they didn't forget anything, fumbling around in the dark and the sand. They had just picked everything up as the high tide rushed in, soaking their feet.
Groggily, they all made their way back to the truck, tucking everything safely in the back and piling in. After some discussion, Dov agreed to drive back since Chris was the one who had driven them all to the beach. Chris hopped in the back next to Andy, who was crammed in the middle. Gail sat atop Nick's lap. Chris gave her a look of sympathy and tried to scoot over to give her some room.
Dov started up the truck and they were soon on their way back home. Back to their old lives with the old stresses and fears.
The thought made Andy so frustrated and she sighed with exasperation but no one paid much attention over the sound of the radio. She knew she was being ridiculous but she just couldn't help it. Tomorrow, she thought with a yawn. Tomorrow will be the day I get over Sam Swarek, she vowed.
The gentle sway of the truck soon lulled her into complacency. She fell asleep, leaning against Chris. Chris, ever the gentleman, shifted and wrapped his arm around Andy to make her more comfortable. He could tell she was having a rough time and he would do anything to help Andy, as he would any of the other 'rookies'. They were a family and that's what families did.
Andy, even in her sleep, was relaxed by Chris' concern and comfort. She slept the entire ride home.