Disclaimer: I do not own Guardians of Time.
'I had a nightmare yesterday' Isabel is thinking as they approach my chambers, and I can't help but listen on. Ethan's thoughts are turbulent, as always, and I can only make out that he had to wait for her for a long time for yesterday's mission. 'It was hardly my fault!'
"What was?" I ask, quietly, into the air. Their thoughts, however, say nothing to me. They enter the room, and Ethan shots me a strained grin. Isabel isn't looking at me, and barely notices me until I speak up "Ethan, Isabel. What brings you here?" her eyes dart up, she offers a feeble smile, and then shrugs.
"Nothing much. We had to rush so much yesterday night that we didn't get to give our report, and I tried to tell Ethan that you had already been looking at the whole thing, but he insisted." her thoughts tell me that she didn't offer any resistance, but there's tells of sleepiness on her face, on her voice, and I make appear my stools. She promptly sits "Thank you"
"Well, tell me then, Ethan" he looks still mildly annoyed, and I raise a hand "Is there anything bothering you?"
"Isabel's nightmare" he answers, and she frowns immediately.
"Ethan! It's unrelated. It's just a random nightmare, okay?" he gives her a look, and then shrugs.
"It could be. It's very cryptic"
"All dreams are cryptic. Ethan, I have weird dreams, some people do. Leave my nightmares alone." her thoughts, clear and loud, resonate on my mind, although I appreciate the effort she does in not voicing them 'I don't pry on yours, or do I?'
"May I ask what you dreamed?" she looks surprised, and shrugs slowly.
"Sure. It's just a weird dream... there's only an image, but it left me so shaken I couldn't sleep after that for a long while. I don't really know how to explain this..." she seems to sink back into thought.
She opens her mind more, unconsciously, and the feelings, the imagery, runs through my mind as it runs through hers. I shiver, and I barely have enough time to compose my face. Isabel, who has closed her eyes, doesn't notice, but Ethan looks alarmed when he sees me turn pale. I raise a hand to keep him quiet. The image Isabel was talking about, is clearly her own image but drastically aged. The feelings that go with it, are those of my own nightmares of solitude, desperation, the tearing pain of having to let her go, one day.
"What is it?" Ethan whispers after a few minutes. I realize I'm shaking, and I grip the borders of the stool to hide it. Isabel's memories retreat into her mind as Ethan distracts her, and I'm glad he does, because I have been shocked speechless. I blink, as she looks at him, and take the chance to inhale softly. She shrugs again, probably realizing I've already seen her dream.
"It's just a weird dream, Ethan."
"What do you see? You still haven't told me!" she looks at me questioningly, but I have nothing to say. I shrug as well.
"It's..." I cough, hoping to dissipate the uneasiness of my voice "It's just a very weird dream, Ethan."
"To be blunt, it's just me as an old woman" Ethan's eyes dart wide open in disbelief, and he looks at me and then back at her.
"Just that?"
"I know! I know it's not that weird. Tons of people dream of themselves in older versions. I don't know why it left me so shaken, okay? I don't know why. Sheesh, I knew I shouldn't have told you"
"Wait" he seems to be thinking it through, and I can read snippets of his thoughts. He glances at me, and slowly connects the dots. His mind opens, and clears up, and his thoughts are asking me if I ever dreamed the same. I look away. He doesn't need to know just how many times... I can see him trying to not give anything away, and he frowns in an attempt to look confused. Isabel is none the wiser, and for that, I thank him.
"There's probably nothing behind it, Ethan. Give your goddamned report once and for all." she's starting to get annoyed, and her thoughts unconsciously shield from my mind. It's not a full shield, but they're shy enough that she's not projecting. I leave her alone, for both her sake and mine, and I try to control my trembling fingers and focus on what Ethan is saying.
He's very carefully remembering the mission, and I grab onto his vivid thoughts like a lifeline. He seems to notice, because they're very precise and focused, mind open and clear, and it's all I need to slowly go back to my normal self. I nod along, asking questions quietly whenever I see fit. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Isabel dozing off. Ethan glances at her too, a gracious smile on his face.
"Isabel, maybe you should go home and sleep before you fall off that stool" he teases, and her head shoots up, embarrassment clear behind the annoyance in her frown. I can't help a smile, and she pouts. 'Not you too', I can hear in my mind, and I think it's the first time she's addressed me so directly through her thoughts. I let my teasing smile drift into a warm affectionate one, and my reward is a small blush. She stands up, closing her eyes, and, unconsciously, her mind too.
"Maybe I should, yeah" Ethan, unaware of our little exchange, seems surprised that she let his teasing pass, but doesn't complain.
"I'll walk you there, then" he offers.
"You haven't finished your report thing, have you? I won't make you come all the way back. It's fine, I'll go on my own. I'll text you when I'm home if you're that worried... You're starting to feel more and more like Matt, geez." she collects her jacket and school bag as she speaks, and she arranges her hair so it doesn't fall under the backpack. Ethan merely shrugs.
"If you say so. I'll see you tomorrow, make sure to get enough sleep, huh?" she nods, punching his shoulder softly. He smiles, nodding.
"I'll do my best." she answers sarcastically, before sending a tentative glance my way. Goodbyes between us have been getting more and more awkward as time passes, and this particular time, I stand up, offering a hug she accepts gladly. I can tell my touch relaxes her, and, though it pains me, that's all I can really offer her. Her thoughts are a mess of overstimulation for a few seconds, that quietens as my calming aura falls over her and while it's very flattering to know that I can make her nerves flare up like that, I've learnt with time to not pay too much attention to those details. Instead, I focus on her physical tells. She's tired, hiding her weakness with a brave face, but it's the way her fingers rest limply against my back, or the way her breath brushes over my shoulder as she exhales that give her away. She needs some sleep, and while I'd be more than happy to hold her while she rests, I am aware of my limitations. Before it becomes too weird, I take a small step backwards, and she gets the hint. Her hands linger around my shoulders as we pull apart, but ultimately fall down to her sides, and I keep my right hand on her head for a few seconds in which she keeps her eyes closed, leaning into my touch. I make sure I keep my own feelings in check, doing my best to project a calm aura to her. Sure enough, she looks relaxed.
"It was just a nightmare, Isabel." I tell her. "You're barely sixteen, isn't it a bit early to worry about a few wrinkles?" her eyes open at my words, and I can feel the mischief in her mind before she even speaks.
"That's easy for you to say." there's a quiet whine in her voice that gives me chills, as if it were an accusation of some sort, but it's mostly teasing, and I smile along with her, releasing her so she can move away.
"Sleep well. I can't say for sure when your next mission will be, so make sure to take care until then." she shrugs noncommittally.
"I'll see you around anyway, I was planning on training here this week, since it's going to be raining." she glances at Ethan, and he shrugs.
"Fine by me. Now go home and don't get in trouble with your brother." she snorts.
"Yes, yes, dad..."
It's not only until Ethan is completely sure that she's far, far away, that he interrupts his monologue and tilts his head.
"Exactly what just happened? Can she dream things you dream?"
"Technically not. It's possible that she has a second ability developing there, but don't tell her anything just yet. It's probably just a coincidence." he doesn't look sure about it, and to be fair, neither am I.
"What kind of ability would that be?"
"It could be any type of mental ability that's she's not yet in control of, or even aware of. I guess we'll know with time."
Ethan is still unconvinced.
"Was it that bad?" I shake my head.
"It was just my perspective, so of course, some feelings came with the imagery. I guess that's what confused her the most. She has no reason to fear aging, not at sixteen." he nods slowly, thoughts wandering, and I flick his forehead "Shield your thoughts, Ethan. Seriously." he manages to do it, mostly, and that's all I can really ask him for now. He's worried, and he doesn't need to lay his thoughts out to me for me to know that. It's clear in the way he glances at me subtly, in the way he's come up all the way up here with an excuse just because he wanted to make sure Isabel was alright, in the way he's started to take care of her in an overprotective sort of way that's going to make her mad, most probably. "That's better."
"Hey... do you think...?" I can feel the question before he asks it at all, and I cut him off.
"No, it's not the better option, Ethan. Now go home, and get some rest of your own. I will make sure this nightmare episode doesn't repeat, believe me. I will ask the Immortal about it if it happens again, and he will probably do something."
"You seem so sure."
He owes me that much for all the time he's kept me by his side, forcing me to stay alone, I think, but I don't say so. Instead, I smile.
"I'm just lucky that he seems to agree with me in that Isabel should stay in the dark about our connection."
"If you say so..."
In all honesty, I have no idea what the Immortal thinks about Isabel and I. He's probably aware of our bond, but he hasn't mentioned anything to me, so I can't really tell where he stands on this dilemma. He's probably letting me deal with it on my own, and I appreciate that, because as much as I want her to stay with me, I can't ask her that, and I won't.
Ethan doesn't stay for much longer, just until he's convinced that I'm alright. It's nice of him, and I do my best to look as calm and collected as always. It's getting harder as time passes, but I'm managing. I wonder, as I watch his back retreat through the corridor, as I close the entrance behind him, if it'll ever become second nature to me, or if this ache inside my chest will follow me around until the day I die. I go back to the main room, where the sphere buzzes quietly. Another portal is opening, and it's my task to monitor it carefully. Picking up a stool, I sit in front of it, and I let my thoughts focus in my task. Isabel won't be mine to hold. It's just something that wasn't in the cards for me, and if destiny would have it that way, then so be it. I had to focus on keeping my head on the game for now, or it could not only make the Immortal angry, but also endanger Ethan and Isabel. And that, I couldn't risk. No matter what my own destiny was, I won't let their lives be on the line.
I had to get this thing out of my system, the idea was there and it wanted to be written. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
~Lena