Chap. One!
The Amityville toaster
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Zatch: Hey, look what I got from that internet auction site.
Tia: What is it?
Zatch: It's a toaster from that haunted house in Amityville. Amityville!
Tia: You bought a haunted toaster?
Zatch: Watch, this is cool, you put in regular old white bread and...
48 seconds later
Tia: Wheat toast? How did you end up with wheat toast?
Zatch: No one knows! What's even cooler is when you put it wheat bread, you get pumpernickel, and when you put in pumpernickel you get a blueberry muffin!
Tia: Bullshit.
Zatch: Oh yeah? Fine. It just so happens I have some pumpernickel bread right here.
56 seconds later
Tia: Whoa!
Zatch: See? Blueberry muffin!
Tia: That's freaky. What happens if you put a bagel in there?
Zatch: Good question!
6,798 seconds later
Tia: Is... Is that a pork chop?
Zatch: Oh man, what a jip. I was hoping it'd be one of those toasty cakes.
Tia: ooh, try waffles!
Zatch: Eh, you know, the auction description said not to use waffles.
Tia: Why?
Zatch: I dunno something about getting back a toasted human hand or something. Eh yeah, don't fuck around with it.
987 seconds later
Tia: Whoa, it's a toasted hand.
Zatch: What did I say about using waffles?!?
END
Zatch: The Amityville toaster, make breakfast spooky, spooky talk from toaster, spooky eating toast, yum yum yum, human hand.