I was inspired by the song "Green Eyes" by Wavves. I was listening to it and thought of Quinn and her green eyes, so I decided to write this. I'm sorry, I don't think this is my best and I've never written Faberry before. I hope you enjoy it though!
Green eyes, I'd run away with you.
Green eyes, cause I'm a fool.
I try running away,
I'm just not fast enough.
I'm just not fast enough.
My, my own friends hate my guts.
So what? Who gives a fuck?
Quinn Fabray.
Head cheerleader.
Tall, blonde and thin.
The girl every guy wanted.
The girl every girl wanted to be.
Quinn Fabray was a whole other kind of perfection.
She was an angel.
Smart, beautiful, funny, wealthy, popular.
Basically, everything I wasn't.
Quinn was perfect. There was no doubt about it. Sure, she had flaws; everybody had them. But to me, flaws are what make perfection.
Perfection is having flaws, acknowledging them, but letting the good things about you shine through.
And Quinn definitely let the good things shine through. Most of the time, at least.
"Out of my way, man-hands," Quinn spat, pushing me out of her way.
I was standing in front of her locker, but for good reason: mine was located directly next to it. I looked up at her with doe eyes, trying my hardest to hide the hurt that flashed upon my face.
"I – I," I stammered.
"What?" She said, raising one cruel, but beautiful, eyebrow.
I shook my head and looked down. "Never mind," I mumbled.
I quickly walked away, turning around to take one last look of Quinn before English class.
She was now hugging Finn Hudson, her boyfriend. The look on her face read happy, but I could see that there was something in her eyes.
She looked sad.
Green eyes, I'd run away with you.
Green eyes, cause I'm a fool.
I try staying awake,
I'm just not man enough.
I'm just not man enough.
Quinn had always been mean to me, but it never made me like her any less. The teasing and bullying had started in Fourth Grade.
Quinn had only just moved to Lima the year previous and she was instantly the most popular girl in class because she was so beautiful. Everyone wanted to be friends with her, but of course, only the prettiest and coolest girls got to play with a girl like Quinn Fabray.
So it was unofficially settled: Quinn was to be friends with Santana and Brittany.
I was left in the sand pit with my Barbies, playing impromptu shows for them. My favourite to sing was the legendary 'I Wanna Dance with Somebody' by Whitney Houston.
I remember being particularly fond of that song, until Quinn announced that it was the stupidest song she'd ever heard and that the only people that liked that song were losers. That's when the other kids started to throw sand at me and pull the elastics out of my hair when I wore it in braids.
Quinn made my grade school life really quite horrible, but it didn't stop me from developing a crush on her in Fifth Grade.
I tried to ignore it and that worked for a while, but it wasn't good enough. I had it too bad for her.
Quinn was horrible to me every day, but I forgot about all of that. I saw past all of the mean comments and hurtful actions because I believed that, deep down, she was truly a nice person and that perhaps she did actually like me. Even as a friend, that would have been enough for me.
Naturally, I was desperate to be Quinn's friend up until we reached middle school. After that, I gave up and realised that it was useless to try and change things between us.
It was best that I admire her from afar.
My, my own friends
Hate me,
But I don't give a shit.
Sky high,
Will I fly high? Maybe.
Soar high, soar right through it.
I knew I had to do something about my raging crush on Quinn. I'd liked her since Fifth Grade and I'd waited this long.
I had to let her know... I had to tell her.
I was afraid. I was afraid of my feelings. I was afraid of being rejected. I was afraid of what Quinn could do to me and my reputation. I was afraid of what would happen if Quinn did like me.
But I had to tell her. I couldn't live my life thinking, "What if?"
And so I decided that it was time to do it. I left a note in her locker that read, "Meet me in the auditorium after school. – Rachel."
I was thinking about adding a little heart next to my name, but I thought that might be a little too much.
I was nervously sat through AP Calculus, trying desperately not keel over dead right there. I was so anxious, so worried, so unsure of what was going to happen.
What would I say? How would I say it? Would anything happen between us? Would we share a hug? A kiss even? Would we become friends after this, or would Quinn hate me even more?
The bell rang, signifying the end of class and the end of the day. My stomach lurched violently and I felt as if I was going to throw up right there and then.
I had liked this girl for five years! The thought of letting her know made me want to die.
But it wasn't so much letting her know... More that I didn't want to get rejected.
Green eyes, I'd run away with you.
Green eyes, cause I'm a fool.
I try running away,
I'm just not fast enough.
I'm just not man enough.
I would try and understand,
I would try and understand.
That I'm to blame,
Cause I'm so lame.
I'm just not man enough,
I'm just not man enough.
I slowly packed up my things and made my way to the auditorium.
What if Quinn didn't even show? Secretly I hoped she wouldn't.
No! No, Rachel. You are going to be brave and you are going to tell Quinn how you really feel. No more excuses. No more waiting. Just do it! I told myself in my head.
I stepped into the room, the air cool and crisp. And there she was, looking as beautiful as ever. She was standing on the stage, obviously waiting for me.
"About time, man-hands,"
I wandered down the aisle, feeling faint and nauseous. Was I really about to do this?
"You'd better make it quick; I have cheerleading practice in twenty minutes."
I nodded and swallowed hard. I stopped walking halfway down and I cleared my throat and began.
"Quinn, as you know, we've been enemies for six years,"
Quinn rolled her eyes. "You counted?"
I shrugged. "As I was saying, we've been enemies for six years. You used to ruin my braids, throw sand at me, tell vicious lies to everyone about me and you still call me man-hands and shove me around. But none of that has really affected me, not really. At least, not in the way it should. I don't hate you, Quinn. You'd expect me to, but I don't. It's kind of hard to hate you when I'm... in love with you." I finished, staring down at my feet.
It was deadly silent for a while, until the tension was broken with a laugh. I looked up and saw that Quinn was now sitting on the edge of the stage and she was laughing at me.
"Um, that's really weird. You're weird. Like, that's totally disgusting. I can't believe you have this freaky crush on me. I have a boyfriend! And you... You're a lesbian?"
I looked down at my feet again. Her words pierced through me like a spear to the heart.
"I'm not a lesbian, I only love you," I mumbled.
She jumped off the stage.
"I always knew you were weird, man-hands, but I never thought you were sick. Crush on whoever you want to, that's your choice. But not on me. Get some help, you freak." She hissed as she walked past me.
I turned around and watched Quinn walk out of the auditorium.
Was that it?
I sank to the floor and burst into tears. I wanted to be anywhere but here, but I wanted to wait. I had to be sure that I wouldn't bump into anyone.
I couldn't face the shame of being rejected by the only girl that I had ever loved.
My, my own friends
Hate me,
But I don't give a shit.
Sky high,
Will I fly high? Maybe.
Soar high, soar right through it.