Training.
She'd spent years training him to obey her 'looks.' He was a slow learner.
Now it was her turn to obey.
"No, no, no, no, no," she repeated, struggling against the band of arms encircling her body, holding her back.
"Stop," his voice commanded, gripping her tighter. A sense of helplessness overcame her and she obeyed.
Ryan was on the ground leaning over the body, checking for breath, listening for a heartbeat. He was on the phone instantly.
"Officer down," was all she heard.
The fact that the bullet missed its mark was his fault, the fact that he was shot was hers. The four of them had been taken by surprise when the suspect jumped, literally jumped, out the second story window and took off down the alley. Espo was out the window, holding the sill and dropping the fifteen breath-taking feet down to the ground. Ryan froze at the sill, unable to follow. Beckett was out the door giving chase, anticipating the exodus from the alley.
They guy was good, limber and fast he was avoiding every obstacle a busy NYC footpath could put in front of him. Esposito had repeatedly come close only to be frustrated.
Kate came out of nowhere, sandwiched herself running between them, down a deserted alley before yelling, "stop or I'll shoot," and taking her trained stance. Time slowed, senses became clear. Two experienced cops knew every vibe of this life or death happening. Sensed it. Anticipated it. Predicted it.
Gun.
Javier fired and ducked on instinct, looking for cover, just like dozens of times before. They both found it behind a dumpster. Suspect location uncertain. They gave each other a glance, silently agreeing on a move, he moved to crouch low using the cover of the dumpster to his advantage. She bent, hunched over to go high on the same side of the cover.
Esposito never worried about Beckett. He wasn't an open sexist, but until he'd started working with her, he wasn't sure he believed he could trust a woman to have his back. She'd slowly won him over, determined to do a little bit more than she needed not to prove her equality as a woman, but her right to be there. Esposito respected that. After a while he didn't need to respect it, it just was.
He concentrated, listening. "One. . . Two . . .Three," she mouthed. He turned to aim, sweeping the alley with his stance. Unaware, Beckett had exposed herself to their suspect's sights. The first shot hit the front of the container, ricocheting off metal. They both moved, recalculating, calibrating their next move. They needed to give their shooter a distraction. A few hand signals between them and Beckett popped up prepared to fire, Esposito waited for their suspect to expose himself. Instead they heard running, as Espo moved to give chase the suspect fired wildly. Espo dropped, but Beckett knew her priority, she fired, hitting her target in the leg, dropping him immediately. She raced to secure him, adrenalin pumping, a slow-growing realization creeping over her.
When she turned to locate Esposito, he was on the ground.
Ryan and Castle arrived, and from their view at the opposite end of the alley, came to the same sickening revelation that she had in that moment.
Esposito was down.
Rick could read her terror from half a block away.
As she ran toward his body, Castle caught her around the waist, refusing to allow her to spiral alone. The way she had with Royce. The way she had with Roy. The way she had with her father.
Rick used his whole body, arms becoming tight bands to hold her together. She was babbling, body rigid, in shock and unaware of her own panicked strength. He was having a hard time holding her back while both of them sought Ryan's response as he leaned over Esposito assessing, Castle finally commanded her, "Stop."
His voice calmed her, the only voice that could talk her down from her ledges. She stopped struggling.
He was fairly certain if he let her go she would fall on the ground, prostrate herself on the altar of her life. Sacrifice herself once again. Rick Castle was the only person that had any chance of keeping that leap from happening, and he had too much experience with that pain. He had tried to communicate things to her before, said the words, willed the feelings. So much of his happiness was hopelessly bound in hers. Bound hopelessly. If she jumped, he jumped. Suicide by cop.
"Beckett, it's a shoulder wound," Ryan looked up at them slowed his words at the wild look in her eye, "a *shoulder* wound."
In a moment, Rick felt Kate's body relax the smallest bit. He loosened his grip relatively.
"He's coming around."
"Espo?"
"Shit, Ryan, get off me man," Esposito struggled to orient himself.
"Hey man, you took one to the shoulder, don't move, bus is on the way."
Letting go of the collective breath they were holding before Esposito spoke, Castle moved his arms lower on her body, allowing her to have movement of her arms. She used them to brace against his arms, surrendering to his salvation.
"Hey, did we get him?" Espo asked, looking up at Beckett.
She had momentarily forgotten about their suspect, who lay docile on the ground on the other end of the alley. She moved to pull away from Rick, her cop senses coming back to her.
"No, Kate," Rick whispered against her hair, squeezing his hold on her waist. A year ago she would have fought him. She did fight him. She really didn't like this . . . this display in front of her subordinates. Really didn't like him manhandling her, it violated her carefully built, hardened exterior, her cop. But she couldn't afford to pay the price alone anymore. Her emotional bank was overdrawn.
They could hear the sirens approaching.
"Beckett, make sure you make me look like the hero in the report," Esposito joked. He was thinking of Gates reaction to all this, the team. He needed her to represent them well, keep their team going, exalt her as their leader.
Castle sensed it too. He was going to have to let her go, do her job, take charge. He squeezed her once more and whispered in her ear, "He's alright Kate, he'll be fine, you'll be fine, do your job, you've got this." Almost imperceptivity she nodded and he released her, before she stepped away, without turning to look at him she took his hand and squeezed it for a moment.
Gates had questioned each of them separately after the ambulance left. Kate spent the next few hours explaining what happened and filling out endless paperwork, all the while texting Lanie, who reported the news on Javier. It was a through and through, quick surgery to plate the bone, at least six weeks of recovery, and a few months of PT.
Ryan and she had interviewed their suspect, strengthening each other to not succumb to the feeling of helplessness when it came to their team. They could still do this, they could at least make a stand together to solve this case. Avenge their friend. Somehow put meaning to their almost-tragedy. It made Kate wonder what it was like for her boys when she was shot. Kate was suddenly aware of their sacrifices to search for her shooter, her mother's killer, Roy's betrayer. There were a lot of things she hadn't considered and she was sinking into those thoughts as she headed for the break room.
She was filling her mug from the machine when he appeared behind her, in usual violation of her personal space. She closed her eyes when she smelled his cologne. Felt his arm trapping her escape on one side as he rested his hand on the counter.
"Thank you," she said pre-emptively and without meeting his eyes, hands preoccupied with the task at hand.
"Wanna talk about it?" He was pretty sure she didn't.
"No," she turned to look at him, "You kept me down today."
"Kept you down?"
"Down here, on the ground, not jumping."
"Oh." He whispered.
Their eyes were locked. "It's a good thing Castle. I appreciate it."
"I want something from you Kate."
"What's that?" she asked suspiciously.
"Hug me." If he hadn't said it so seriously, she would have laughed at him. Called it a juvenile move, expected him to take advantage.
She put down her coffee and lifted up on her heels to slowly stretch her arms around his shoulders, her chin resting on one side. He smiled, closed his eyes, and put his arms around her waist.
For a long time they stood there, hearts exposed.
They were both in training.
A/N: recent Federal law prohibits you from following the author or the story without making comments in the reviews. Obey, the universe wants you to obey . . .