Hello! I've had this idea for a long time, and I've finally put it into action. I hope you enjoy reading it, and that the sentences aren't too long and convoluted. Oh, and I'm not JK Rowling.

Of Secret Plans

"So, what's the plan?" Lee asked Fred and George. There must be a plan: as soon as Lee had entered the Gryffindor common room he had seen the usual "We're up to something brilliant" grins on the twins' faces. However, you always knew that the worst was to come the answer was "Oh, nothing." That meant you were about to be the centre of a prank (probably a brilliant prank, but still not a desirable situation).

Lee winced slightly as the suspense grew; the split second before the answer came was always a nerve racking experience. What if Fred and George decided to rig exploding snap cards before offering him a game? What if they offered him something to eat that would turn him into an animal, or a painting, or somebody else altogether? Lee grimaced slightly remembering the famous canary creams. Luckily he had been in on that one. What if-

"Oh, nothing." replied George casually.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

This was bad. Very bad. There had only been one occasion when "oh, nothing" hadn't involved Lee directly. That was when the twins spelled his pet spider so that whenever Lee touched it, it put on a tap dancing display. After the tap-dancing spell had worn off, Fred had casually asked him,

"I don't suppose you ever sang around your spider, did you?"

"No," he had lied blushing, "I don't make a habit of singing." At this George had sighed dramatically,

"And to think we went to all that effort..."

"...our talents wasted on an unmusical lump like you." finished Fred.

"Why?" he had asked very suspicious, "what would it have done?"

"Oh, I suppose it was nothing much." said Fred.

"A mere trifle actually." George had continued.

"Ah, I think I hear it coming now." grinned Fred.

"I think it's been touring the castle." suggested George.

Everyone stopped talking as the sound of L-O-V-E wafted down the hall followed by a large crowd of amused fellow seventh years. Leading the crowd was Lee's spider, displaying acrobatic prowess to accompany the singing.

"Nice spider!" shouted Sam Fetter who sat next to Lee in Potions," Is that you singing? I didn't know that you could sing so well." She laughed and dashed off to Charms giggling uncontrollably. Deciding that now was not a good time to be in public view, Lee had attempted to scoop up the somersaulting spider and head back to his dormitory. Unfortunately Lee's spider had proved evasive, and giving up he had shot silencio charms at it until he got the singing spider to shut up.

Afterwards George had muttered to him

"Sorry, we were going for Philippa, you know how she loves your spider. She never stops singing in the girls' dorm, and we thought we were sure to get her. Shame she went to the hospital wing last night, otherwise we would have had the alto line of her choir songs instead."

"Yeah, sorry about that." added Fred, "Tell you what, we'll charm her toad when she recovers from all that knee stuff, that should be amusing."

Unfortunately Philippa's toad died and that plan was never put into action.

Right now was, however, not the ideal time for reminiscing. He was on the verge of being subject to a brilliant but no doubt humiliating prank. Three plans of action:

a) Pretend he had left homework in the library and disappear.

b) RUN FOR HIS LIFE!

c) Rush to the boys' dormitory and inspect the damage.

In a split second decision he went for c, and was soon standing in front of his bed shouting "Reveal your secret!" and prodding his wand at every object he saw. Despite vigorous wand waving and much ranting, no spells were coming up. That meant that whatever Fred and George had done, it must have been very sneaky. They could easily spell something so that "reveal your secret" didn't work. Lee was getting more and more worried. What could it be?

Suddenly there were two dark shapes standing at the door to the dorm. Lee whirled around shouting "reveal your secret!" with an added jab with his wand. He was really getting paranoid now.

Before anyone could do anything, George Weasley was on the floor confessing his love for muggle paper clips, and Alicia Spinnet in poetry.

"Lee!" Fred exclaimed, "What on earth were you thinking?"

Her hair is as long as an essay for Snape

"Well you're the ones who told me 'Oh, nothing'", replied Lee, "what did you expect me to do?"

Her legs as smooth as Crouch's balding head

"Not shout 'reveal your secret' at everything", Fred said ruefully, "we said it because this is the one plan you can't be involved in."

Her Quidditch skills make everyone gape

"Why can't I join you?" asked Lee a bit upset but curious at the same time.

She leaves Slytherins left for dead

"You just can't." replied Fred firmly, "Now, how do we get George to shut up?"

"How about… Stop revealing your secret!" Lee tried weakly.

"Thankyou," huffed George, "I thought we'd be hearing the second verse before someone thought to counter-jinx me."

"There's a second verse?" asked Lee cheekily, "I would have loved to hear it."

"Well you can't," said George.

"Just like you can't be part of our plan," said Fred.

And with that they left muttering between themselves while Lee strained to hear what they were saying. He briefly caught an "Umbridge will expel us for sure"and blanched. The twins were right, this wasn't a plan he wanted to be part of.

So there it is, first chappie. Please review and tell me how it's going so far!

Empress Pip