A/N: EvilSithGirl here, this fic is by me and JediWillRule

Everybody Loves Chocolate Cake

By: JediWillRule & EvilSithGirl

Chapter One: Ramen vs. Tomatoes!

It was a bright sun shinny day in Konoha. It was a perfect dream day for most people but not for a certain young Sharingan-user. This day was Uchiha Sasuke's worst nightmare. Why? Two words. His. Birthday. And not just any birthday, but his 14th birthday.

Sakura and the dobe just made this day worse by setting up a party for him. Well, Naruto didn't really help because he was too busy daydreaming about eating Sasuke's chocolate birthday cake and stopping Chouji from devouring it with all means necessary.

"Are we going to the cake shop now?" asked the ever so impatient Naruto, in the grocery store.

"In a minute," replied Sakura.

With that, Naruto began counting to 60 seconds.

"56 Mississippi….57 Mississippi….58 Mississippi….59 Mississippi….60 Mississippi! A minute is done Sakura-chan!"

Sakura just dropped everything she was holding and glared at him, but then sighed in defeat. "Okay, let's go."

"YAY!"

"But promise not to steal all the chocolate cakes there like last year!"

"And what if I do?"

"I'll tie you to a chair and make you watch the late night Discovery Channel! And then tell the owner of Ichiraku to never serve ramen to you ever again!"

He glared at Sakura's back as she walked on ahead.

"Fine! I'll do it for the ramen!"

"Is that all you care about?" asked a very familiar voice.

"You shouldn't be talking you tomato-loving teme!"

Sasuke's face turned into a You-Have-5-Seconds-To-Run-Before-I-Friggin-Beat-You-To-A-Bloody-Pulp expression.

"What did you call me?" Sasuke's deadly voice and glare would've scared the pee out of anyone. That is, except the stubborn loudmouthed blonde they were directed at.

"You heard me! I called you a tomato-loving teme!" Naruto defiantly retorted back.

Sasuke finally snapped. He slowly bent down and picked up a random tomato from the ground. He looked at Naruto with an evil Orochimaru-smirk. Suddenly a million hundred random tomatoes rolled down the streets of Konoha, squishing the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way.

"AHHH!! TOMATOES ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"

"NOOOO!! I'M TOO SEXY TOO DIE!!"

"Yeah, well, I'm…too sexy for my shirt! ...Too sexy for my shirt! …So sexy-(SPLAT!)"

Jiraiya, who randomly poofed in, got cut off as he was hit in face with a rotten tomato.

"Boo, you stink!" yelled whoever threw it.

Anyways...Sasuke was standing in a cool pose, and behind him was a giant tidal wave of TOMATOES!

Naruto's eyes bulged out of his head.

"Oh $#!+."

----

Leaving the cake shop, Sakura saw tomatoes rolling down the street. She sweatdropped.

"Sasuke-kun's at it again."

Some tomatoes stopped when they reached her and tried to roll her down as well.

"Back! Back you fiends! Have the damn cake!"

Before they started to follow her again, she hightailed it to the Uchiha Manor, leaving the cake behind. …Or did she? It's a mystery…

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"Did you get the girl?" asked a smooth turns-you-on voice.

"No, master…" squeaked a squeaky voice.

"Imbeciles! ...did you get the cake?"

"Yes, master…" and a chocolate cake was handed over.

The smooth voice took a bite and…bit right into a wooden block.

"Fools! I'll do it myself! Damn splinters…"

-----

Somewhere else…

A certain sociopathic-chocolate-cake-lover, otherwise known as Uchiha Itachi, sniffed the air around him.

"I smell chocolate cake…"

From next to him, Kisame sweatdropped.

"You always do…remember what happened with the so-called chocolate you found next to that deer?"

"How was I suppose to know it wasn't chocolate?! Nobody could've predicted that! Besides it's Sasuke's birthday today…Foolish little brother! I shall claim your cake as mine! MUHUHAHAHA!"

"Evil laughs are so overrated…especially 'Muhuhahaha'. I'd go for something like BWAHAHAHA!"

"Oh? How about…BOHAHAHAHA!"

"Itachi…you didn't by chance forget to take your mental pills, did you?"

"No..."

"Ahem."

"May-be."

Kisame quirked a gill.

"Fine, I did! Big whoop, wanna fight about it?"

"O-kay…but if Leader finds out about the cake..."

"Curses, I forgot! He also shares my everlasting desire for snuff-coloured pastries! Well, what he doesn't know, won't hurt me."

-----

Somewhere, somewhere else…with another spiky-haired-chocolate-loving-psycho

"Achoo!" Akatsuki's Leader rubbed his nose.

-----

Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere else…with some random person on a Mountain…

"I LIKE CHEESE!!!"

(Echo: Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!)

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A/N: (ESG) So we rewrote the story. Big whoop! Wanna fight about it? Review or face the wrath of JWR's lower posterior energy-bursts! Bwahahaha!!!

(JWR) Hello Motto.