The nightmares were supposed to go away in a few years, thats what her mentor told her after her games. But that didn't make them any less scary,because no matter what they were there and we're still true, she had murdered innocent kids and became a monster in that damned arena.
But she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about them, Johanna Mason was too stubborn to admit she had problem, and maybe she was scared too, after all, people looked at her as strong and unbreakable, but they were far away from the truth. Johanna was weak. She was fragile. She was scared above all.
Not even the people who were close to her knew the truth, maybe Finnick was suspicious, he had hidden years of pain and abuse and knew better than to believe anyone could remain that sane and strong after the games, yet if he knew, he kept silence.
Sometimes she couldn't bring herself to stand get up from bed in the mornings, but the bitter reminder of who she was in the eyes managed to do so, plus being awake was better than the nightmares.
Everyday she reminded herself to keep it together, because she knew well that if she broke, there would be no way to bring herself back together again.