GANONSNITZEL
It was another beautiful day in Hyrule. Link had finally overthrown Ganondorf and married Princess Zelda who was very bored now that Ganondorf had stopped trying to kidnap her and steal her kingdom. "Let's think of something to do, Link," She said, hopeful that he new something that would relive the unending boredom. Luckily for her, Link had thought of the best thing to do. Something he had dreamt of doing since he was a child.
"Let's take over Ganon's tower!" he exclaimed. "W-what! That is a horrible idea tha-" she was cut off by Link who shoved the "Princess Dreams" catalog in her face. "Link, nothing in there would fit in my castle. Actually, the things in that catalog would only fit…in…Ganon's tower," She said, an idea forming in her mind. "Let's do it!" "Now we're talking!" Link shouted.
Once they got to their new home, all of their dreams came tumbling down. The tower was gone and the only thing that remained was Ganondorf who was crying in the middle of the pile of rubble. The two teenagers approached him with caution. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" taunted Link. He looked down and Ganon's eyes were blue and he was younger by at least sixty years.
"Holy crap!"' screamed Link. "What?!? Is he wearing make-up again?" asked Zelda. "N-no, he… looks better," said Link, sounding as if he was going to cry. Zelda looked down. "Oh! You're right,"
"Who are you supposed to be?" asked the new Ganon. "Uh-it's me, Link, the guy who can kill you in a second. The one you hate and teased in elementary school." "And you?" he looked toward Zelda. "I'm the beautiful Princess Zelda. You try to kidnap me almost once a week, remember?" The man sniffed. "My cousin told me about his girlfriend, Zelda, and his worst enemy, the great and evil Link."
Both Link and Zelda looked blankly at New Ganon. "Girlfriend?" asked Zelda. "Evil?" asked Link. "Yes." said New Ganon. "And I am his cousin, Ganonsnitzel.
Link and Zelda looked even more blankly than before. "Snitzel?" asked Link. "Ganonsnitzel?" "Yes. Now, Link I must kill you because you are evil." said Snitzel. "And, Zelda, I'll gladly take your hand in marriage in the place of my cousin." "Marriage? I'm already married to Link and he is not evil. Ganondorf was evil, he lied to you." Zelda told the story of Ganon.
"I can't believe my own cousin was evil." he said. "I'm sorry I had to tell you something so disappointing." Zelda said. "Well, it's good to know." said Snitzel. "Well, c'mon Link." she kissed him. "We have to go now Ganon. If you don't have a place to stay, you can come with us."
"Oh! You really mean it?!?" said Snitzel enthusiastically. "Why not? I mean we have plenty of space at the castle." said Link. "Oh! Thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?" Snitzel said happily. "Don't bug us." said Link. They explained the rules of the castle and left.
When they arrived at the castle, Snitzel stared in amazement at the beautiful woman that stood before him. Her hair seemed as if the goddesses were shining it upon. Her eyes were as red as a bouquet of bright roses. Her body was thin but muscular. Her clothes were sapphire blue and shone brightly. But it was her strong face with crimson lips and dark blue eye shadow that caught Snitzel's fancy.
"Hello Madame! You look beautiful today! My name is Ganonsnitzel. I have to know your name so that I can tell about the people I have met on my journey. You look beautiful, did I already mention that?" "Hello Mr. Snitzel thank you for your comments. My name is Impa. And yes, you already mentioned that." Said the woman standing before them. "Apparently you finally found Mr. Right." Said Zelda happily. Snitzel blushed but Impa's face remained cold as stone. "He has a striking resemblance to Ganondorf." said Impa seeming though she hadn't heard Zelda.
"Impa, please show Ganon to his room. Make it something with a view of the fields." Said Zelda in her royal voice. "Certainly your royal majesty." Impa said obediently. As Impa walked off, Snitzel kept asking her questions. "Do you have a boyfriend? What's your favorite color? Are you in love with me? Did you say yes?" "Please, Mr. Snitzel you sound like a five-year-old." She led him to a room with a blue door that said GUEST ROOM in thick, golden letters.
When Impa opened the door they saw white wallpaper with flower patterns on it, blue curtains hung open on an enormous window, a silver lamp with a sapphire cover sat on a white nightstand with two drawers in it, and a huge canopy bed with a blue bedspread on it sat to the left of the room next to the nightstand. "This is blue room." said Impa. "This is amazing!" exclaimed Snitzel. "How do you get the funds to make this?!?" "Zelda's a princess, remember?" replied Impa.
Zelda and Link entered the room. "I knew you'd give him this room! It is so wonderful, my favorite. Link and I first kissed in this room." She reached over and kissed Link for at least thirty seconds. "I couldn't help but wonder. Where is your cousin?" asked Impa. "He died along with his tower." Snitzel replied as if he was talking about the weather. "He said I was his girlfriend and that Link was evil. The nerve of some people! I could never think of kissing Ganon! I still wonder why he'd say that. Does he love me?" said Zelda, her face turning green.
Everyone stared out into the field from the window. It was beautiful at this time of day. They could see Lon Lon Ranch from where they stood. Zelda and her father get their premium milk from that ranch on some days, the other days, the delivery- guy falls asleep in front of the castle and Impa has to get the milk. "E-ecscuse me but since you and Impa are friends, maybe you could come to the royal ball, together?" said Zelda faintly.
"Royal ball? That sounds…FUN!" said Impa. "Uh..uh…FUN!" Snitzel followed along. "Yeah, sounds cool and all, but…I have a…um thing, a birthday party to go to on the twenty-eighth." said Link who hated Zelda's parties. "Well, the ball's on the twenty seventh so you get to come!" exclaimed Zelda oblivious to Link's real feelings. "Whoopee." Said Link sarcastically.
That night, Snitzel had a horrible nightmare: he was walking through a tunnel, an empty, white tunnel with a light coming from one end. He walked toward the light; there was a slightly opened door in which the light was coming through. He leaned toward the door and heard something, he looked through the crack where it was open, and saw his cousin who was slaughtering so many people with his bare-hands. He ran from the door but it kept pulling him in. He was inside the room with his evil cousin.
Ganondorf kept pulling him into the room. No matter how fast he ran, he couldn't break away from Ganondorf's grasp. Snitzel was caught in a whirling vortex. He heard his cousin say something. "Use…triforce…power…rule Hyrule…kill…stands in…way…avenge me!" "No." Snitzel declared.
"Why…ultimate power over everything and everyone," "NO!" He woke up. Impa and Zelda were standing in front of him. "We heard you scream in your sleep," said Zelda. "Are you okay?" "Fine," Replied Snitzel.
The next morning, everyone was talking about Snitzel when he entered the room. "He was yelling no for an hour." said Zelda. "Sorry, I'm a noisy guest." said Snitzel. "Hi. We were just talking about you," said Link sheepishly. "I could see."
"We know you were having a nightmare about Ganon," said Zelda. "He's dead, he won't come back. Please, Don't worry. You're fine.
Impa walked into the room. "Link, Princess, I need to tell you something! It's important!" Link and Zelda followed her into another room. Snitzel put his ear next to the door and heard the most horrible thing ever. "NO!" screamed Zelda as she broke into tears.
"He can't be back! He died with his tower! It's impossible! NO WAY!" said Link, his voice shaking. "B-but he k-killed my father, HE KILLED THE KING!" screamed Zelda louder than before. "He has too much power! We can't stop him! NOOOOO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!" "I'm afraid we can only hand Hyrule over." said Impa breaking into tears with Zelda. "I-I can't die! This is unfair! WHY! WHY! WHYYYY! I have a life! I'm too YOUNG to die! I'm-TH-TH-THIRTY-one! My life is INCOMPLETE! NO! PLEASE! NO! PLEASE! THIS IS UNFAIR!! NO! PLEASE! PLEASE!" Impa freaked-out. It pained Snitzel to see Impa like this. "I must do something." he whispered to himself. "This is unforgivable." "I will try to fight him, if something happens to me, remember me by this." Link handed Zelda a glowing, pink stone lined with gold and a string through it to wear around her neck.
She hugged him. "I love you Link! I love you." Snitzel ran into the room. "We all have to go!" he said. "Impa, you are the sage of shadow! You must come! Zelda, You are the sage of wisdom! You have to come too! Link, you are the one who will finish him off with the Master Sword! You must come! I have too come because I have a grudge, HE MUST DIE!" "GOOD THINKING!" said Link. "We will set off tomorrow after we have a good time to train." "I love you Snitzel." Everyone stared at Impa. "I MEAN HIS IDEAS!!!!" she screamed. "He he he! Right Impa!" said Zelda.
That night Snitzel was walking down a hallway. He saw a room that said IMPA'S ROOM. He knocked on her door with sweat running down his palms. "Am I really going to ask her?" he wondered. He waited for what seemed to be a year. "She must not be home"
He turned around and started to walk away from the door, when Impa said, "You knocked?" "Uh…y-yea, I knocked." he turned around and Impa was wearing a sapphire poncho and her hair was down, she was still wearing make-up, though. "Can I come in?" "Sure." Snitzel sat on Impa's bed, she sat with him. "What did you want to talk about?" she said sternly.
He took a deep breath. "Do you love me?" "Love is such a strong word, my friend. Use it wisely." Impa said. Suddenly, Snitzel felt like he made a huge mistake. "I would say it is nice to have you around. You are becoming a new member of our family and a dear friend." she continued. "I love you." He whispered.
"Excuse me?" said Impa. "I said…um…you are also a dear friend to me." He said. "Maybe…someday I will feel that way towards you." she said. Snitzel felt embarrassed with a capital "e". "You-you heard what I said? That I said I love you?" "Yes."
The next morning everyone was awaken by Cojiro, Link's trusty cuckoo. "TURN THAT RACKET OFF, LINK!! IT'S ONLY THREE!" shouted Zelda. "SORRY PRINCESS BUT WE HAVE BUISINESS TODAY!" Link shouted back. Everyone ran out of their rooms fully dressed. "We are in for a battle, adventure and possibly, romance." Link winked at Impa and Snitzel.
"WE SET OFF!" everyone ran out the door. They stared in shock at the horizon. A giant castle stood where the Kokiri forest used to be. "SARIA!" Link screamed. "SARIA! YOU HAVE TO BE ALIVE! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD! MY BEST FRIEND!" "Oh my goddesses!" Impa was not happy about this either.
Link ran toward the castle. He saw Mido sitting on the grass with Fado. "LINK! THE MAN IN THAT CASTLE TOOK SARIA!! HE CALLED HER SAGE!!" He shouted. "HE SAID HE WON'T RETURN HER!! PLEASE RESCUE HER!!" his eyes started to swell with tears. "Don't worry, I'll save her. But first."
Link played the Serenade of Water and warped to Lake Hylia. "LINK!!!!!! RUTO'S GONE!!!!!!" screamed King Zora. "That's all I needed to hear." Link replied. He turned around and Snitzel and Zelda were there. "I-IMPA DISSAPEARED!" said Snitzel.
Link played all of his songs and all of the sages were missing. Link, I found a note!" Snitzel shouted. "Gimme!" Link read the note.
"Eh?" "Snity, can you read this?"
"I sure can!" It says: If you want the sages to return you must reawaken them. Only those who know the inscribed language may solve the puzzle. All of the clues will be in this language. With hatred, Ganondorf." "With hatred? That's all he could think up?" asked Link. "Link, I think we have to look for the other clues if we want to save the sages. I think we should go back to the forest, maybe there's another clue there." said Zelda. "Yeah, Link we have to save all of the sages. Don't slack off!" Snitzel followed. They headed back to the forest.
"LINK! THE MAN IN THERE WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO READ IT, THOUGH! IT'S IN GERUDO! I THINK YOUR FRIEND CAN READ IT! HE'S OF GERUDO BLOOD RIGHT!?!" shouted Mido. "GODDESSES! MIDO WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD!?!" Link shouted back. "Read the note Link!" Zelda demanded. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Replied Link.
Snitzel started to read, "This one says: You have found another clue. Go to the mountain where Gorons live in peace and find the next clue and a big surprise." "Hmmm…a big surprise, eh?" asked Link. "Uh oh!" "C'mon! We have to go to Death Mountain!" shouted Zelda. They set off toward the mountain. "We need my horse to get there. The Death Mountain is ten miles away and we are too tired as it is."
"EPONA! C'MEAR GIRL! Crap! I'll have to use my Ocarina." Link pulled out his ocarina and played Epona's song that his friend, Malon, had taught him when he was young. Epona came running toward them. Link got on, then Zelda but Snitzel remained off the horse. "C'mon Snity, your carriage awaits." Said Link. "Nah Link, I'll travel on foot, okay?"
Snitzel ran lightning fast around Epona in an attempt to impress them. "Oooooooh! That's sooo cool!" said Zelda. "See, I can make it!" Snitzel proudly stated. Everyone left to Death Mountain. "OH MY GODDESSES! Th-th-there are Gerudo guards everywhere!" Link said.
"Don't worry guys, they'll mistake me for my cousin and let me through." "Wadda 'bout us!?! Link demanded. "Ganon will distract the guards so they will not notice us sneaking by." Zelda calmly stated. Their plan worked and nobody got caught. They made it to Death Mountain.
"Oh my goddesses. W-w-w-what happened?" The entire top of the mountain was gone. "Uh…wh-where are the Gorons? Are they all…?" "Listen…I'm getting a feeling that this is all a big trap." Said Link. "Why would Ganon leave clues? Has he lost his mind or is he just trapping us?" "But if it was a trap, why would he write them in Gerudo?" asked Zelda. "I dunno." Said Link. "But you're gonna have to use that crown of yours to pry those rocks apart far enough for me to put my sword through." "Hey guys, is it me or is that bird that is about as big as a ship and coming right for us?" asked Snitzel.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Zelda as the bird took her and flew toward Ganon's lair.
"Why does that bird need her!?!" screamed Snitzel. "She is the sage of wisdom and a wielder of the Triforce of Wisdom." Replied Link. "Ganon will be after me next, for I wield the Triforce of Courage." "So, I have to protect you too? Baby sitting is a pain!" said Snitzel. "You're joking? C'mon! We need to pry this rock apart. The Fire Temple is in here and we might need to kill something to free something else." Said Link. "Link, I'll need to say that I am so sorry for my cousin! He is so evil and I feel, somehow, responsible for it."
"No big deal…well…kinda, but, you're not responsible! Don't worry." They got the slab of stone pried apart from the hole in the mountain and a thick layer of dust blocked their windpipes. They stood there coughing as the heavy fog lifted and they saw the destroyed ruins of the Fire Temple. The door to the boss's lair had a huge tear in the middle so that Link and Ganon could get there without having to go through a huge dungeon. They hopped across some stone pillars to the door. Ganon peered at Volvagia who was sleeping, his tongue was curled over many skulls and he had one claw over a stone.
Link stepped into the room and Volvagia suddenly awoke as if Link had rung a bell in his long, jagged ear. He breathed a tornado of fire and Link quickly pulled Ganon out of the way. Link saw a golden arrow under Volvagia's tail. He would deal with that later. Suddenly, a wall of fire blocked their escape.
Link ran to the golden arrow. Volvagia grabbed him with his tail and threw him across the room to the fire. Link let out a scream and with his last strength, opened a fairy bottle that healed him quickly. Ganon was trying to deal with the dragon while Link loaded his bow with the golden arrow. He shot it at Volvagia and he let out a cry of pain.
Link gathered it and took out his Megaton Hammer. He preformed his finishing move on him and the dragon breathed fire. Link shielded and the fire bounced back to Volvagia because the only shield of choice was the Mirror shield! Link hit Volvagia with all his might and the dragon clawed him. Link fell down in pain.
He screamed as the dragon ripped at his shoulder. He fell to the ground while gasping for air. The dragon had cut his throat and he could not breathe. Ganon knew that Link would soon bleed to death if he did not do something soon. He remembered how Link used a fairy to heal himself from the burns. Maybe he had one more fairy on him. It was worth a shot.
He opened a bottle and a small fairy flew out. Link sparkled and his eyes opened. "Huh, what happened? Was I…dead?" asked Link. Volvagia was on the ground and he had Link's sword in his head. He was bleeding and Link knew the fight wouldn't go on for long.
Link jumped up and pulled his sword from Volvagia's bleeding head. He sliced his eyes and then brought his sword to Volvagia's head. Link smacked the dragon in his face with his shield. Ganon wanted to take the glory so he finished Volvagia off. The dragon roared and dropped the stone he was guarding.
It bounced across the ground to Ganon's feet. It blew open in the shape of a Goron. Link knew it was Darunia. Darunia was standing before them but he looked as if he was only a shadow. He was wielding a giant axe and was wearing a crown.
The crown was black and had a red jewel in the center. Darunia fired a huge beam at them and they narrowly dodged it. Darunia was running toward Link when Ganon hopped onto his back. He started to pound on the jewel in his crown when Darunia threw him off. The jewel was cracked and a bit of the blackness that took over his body fell off.
Link shot an arrow at the jewel on Darunia's head and it cracked again. Another piece of black armor fall off and there was only his head left. Ganon kicked the crown off of Darunia's head and Link shot at it with his bow. The arrow hit the crown but not the jewel. Ganon grabbed the crown and hit the jewel until it shattered.
"Link? Is that you? What the fudge happened?"
"Goron person, you were like TOTALLY possessed!" Said Snitzel. "What? Really? Oh, I have this paper and I think it might be useful." Said Darunia. "Hey! Link, It's a clue! Look."
"It says: You are not even close to finding me! Foolish, puny cousin! I know you are helping Link and were helping Zelda, until I took her! Now all I need is Link! Oh, where was Link raised again? You might want to look there. With hatred-Ganondorf."
"We are gonna save Saria now!" said Link. He played the Minuet of Forest and soon they were at the sacred forest meadow. Link saw the old stump where he and Saria used to play their ocarinas and sing to the forest tune. Link hookshoted up into the platform that lead into the temple. They walked into the elevator that Link had activated by defeating the Poe sisters.
The room below was one of the most difficult to figure out for Link. He and Ganon walked up to the boss room. Ganondorf had destroyed his puppet because he was too weak so Link didn't have to fight another boss. They entered the room and a dark shadow figure of Saria was standing in the middle of the room, staring at them with her usual grin. She flew into the air and a green whip made of leaves and a black handle appeared.
She had on the same crown as Darunia, except her jewel was green. She giggled but it was an evil giggle, not like her usual laugh. She whipped at Link and wrapped her whip around him. She pulled him close and smiled at him, and then she threw him to the ground and whipped near his face. While she was dealing with Link, Ganon snuck up behind her and pulled the crown from her head. He got to hit the jewel until it cracked a little, and then Saria took the whip and pulled it back to her.
She broke her whip into two pieces and whipped one at Ganon and the other at Link. She pulled Link up again and let him go onto the ground, but before he fell he grabbed her crown and put his sword through the jewel. It cracked almost instantly and then Link passed it to Ganon. Ganon threw it to the ground and the jewel shattered. Saria's black armor fell off and she fell from the sky into Link's arms.
"Link, Ganon he-HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" screamed Saria. "No, Saria that's Ganonsnitzel." Said Link. "I made the same mistake!" "Link, I have a clue, also, can you escort me out? I don't want to run into Mido on the way! He, he, he!" "The clue? It says,
"Snitzel, can you read this?" asked Link. "Yeah, it says: Heh, you're not so dumb after all! Do you know who Ruto is? I do. If you are looking for her, you might want to see the temple. I know how special your relationship is so; I'll try to make you suffer. I am gay –Ganondorf." Said Ganon. "It does not say that." Said Link. "Well, we have to save Ruto now!" Ganon said.
"But, she-she's all like, well…" said Link. "Yes, but without her the seal won't be complete. You are so immature." Said Ganon. Link played the Serenade of Water and they were at Lake Hylia quicker than you could say, hot dog potato. Link pulled on the Zora tunic and the iron boots but Ganon didn't have anything that would prevent him from drowning so now they faced a new problem. Lake Hylia was mostly dried up, but the temple was still submerged.
Ganon tried holding his breath, but he didn't have enough air. Then, he tried to fit into the Zora tunic with Link but that was a disaster. Link remembered that they sold Zora tunics in the shop and that he had enough rupees to buy one. "Snitzel…uh…I can buy you a Zora tunic at the shop." "You should have told me that before I tried to fit into you're small, boy-sized clothes! You stupid…" They went to the shop and Link bought him a tunic. "One large tunic, blue, and a side of iron boots." "Comin' righ' up!" said the shopkeeper.
Link and Ganon went back to the temple with their new equipment. They entered the temple and made there way to the path that leads to the boss room. Link and Ganon saw the sliding blades that cross from one side of the room to the other. Link hopped onto one of the blades, then to the next one and continued in that order until he got to the boss door. Ganon followed quickly.
He jumped onto one of the blades, then the other, but when he came to the third one he fell and one of the blades almost cut him into two pieces. He had to back flip or he wouldn't have legs. "Don't worry. It took me five tries to get it right!" said Link. "It's really hard, huh?" Ganon brought himself up. The back of his head hurt terribly from hitting it against the ground.
He tried to get back onto the blade, but fell because one leg slipped off the metal surface. The blade cut his hair a little but he was okay. Ganon tried again and got to the last blade but slipped. Luckily, Link grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Are you ready for Morpha?" asked Link nervously. "Cause I am."
Ganon nodded his head weakly then entered the room. They stared at the giant worm that was before them. Morpha wasted no time and threw Link across the room into some spikes. They went through his tunic, but they didn't hurt him. Ganon threw a blast of energy at Morpha and it cut her in half.
Link hookshoted Morpha's brain and sliced through it. He threw it at Ganon who put an electrical, magic-made sword through it. The worm died instantly and a stone fell from it. Link was scared of what happens next. He has to deal with Ruto!
He didn't know what was worse. Ruto loving him or Ruto trying to kill him. "Umm…where's Ruto? Is she…?" suddenly, Ruto flew out of the water and into the center of the room. She had a pair of Zora boomerangs in her hands and the same black crown with a blue jewel in the middle.
She came over to Link and Ganon. Her eyes were black as coal. She looked at the ground then fired a boomerang at Ganon's face. He yelled and fell to the ground. Ruto laughed, but Link smacked the crown off her head.
He threw it across the room at Ganon who attempted to pull the jewel out, but he saw Ruto coming so he hit it and threw it back at her. It hit her in the face and Link kicked her in the back. The crown fell and cracked some more. Link saw that, so he and Ganon started playing soccer with the crown.
They kept it up until the jewel fell apart. "Aaaaahhhhh! Huh, Link? Link! Oh! You're back for me! I knew you loved me! Piss on Zelda! Right?" "Ruto…uh…I am here for you, but-" "Oh! I knew it! You love me!
"Ruto! I-"
"This is sooo great! Ohhhhhhh, it's like a dream!"
"No! Ruto! I am not-"
"Ohhhhhhh! I feel so weak in your arms."
"Ruto!"
"Link!"
"Ruto! You're being-"
"Oh…Link I want your-"
"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!"
"Sorry, Link, no uh…yeah…baby! Until we're married, right?" "Oh boy. Ruto, listen I am here for you, but not for sweet lovin' cause you are a sage and we need to reawaken you." "Link! You break my heart! You bad, sexy, boy!" "Link, I think she's a keeper!" said Ganonsnitzel from somewhere in the room.
"Link, when can we do it?" asked/begged Ruto. "Uh, I married Zelda." "How could you!?! You evil, jerky, blonde, blue-eyed, handsome, strong…TAKE ME!!" as she said that, she leapt onto him. Snitzel had to pry her off with one of her boomerangs. "I love you so much! I hate Zelda! Link, I want sex!"
"Ruto! Get off him! Crazy bitch!" "Snitzel…I think we should get out of here while Ruto stays and prays." "Link, take this paper before you leave." She handed him another clue. It said,
"It says, You have saved Ruto but not everyone. My cousin has only one true love and it is time to meet her. I doubt you will beat her. She is one of the most powerful now. With hatred –Ganondorf. We get to save Impa now! Oooooooh! Now I know how Ruto felt." "Snitzel, you can't get so Impa-ish…just calm down." "Link, we're saving Impa! IMPA!" "No offense, but I think Impa looks like a man."
"Don't you EVER talk that way about Impa! Sorry. I have the tendency to…" "Let's just get going."
Link played the Nocturne of Shadow and they were at the graveyard in seconds. Link stepped into the temple and Snitzel followed. Link and Snitzel found the boss room and walked in. They stared at the dead boss and wondered who killed him. They saw a door inside Bongo bongo's Eye that was pulled out of its socket.
They walked into the room and were suddenly surrounded by blackness. They could see a floating, purple jewel in the distance. It was coming closer and they could see that it was in a crown on top of a human head. It was Impa.
"Impa? It's you!" Snitzel ran toward her, but suddenly he was hanging from a wall with many black stars through his clothes. "Link. It's me Saria. I am calling you through the ocarina. You can't beat her alone so my friends and me will be there soon!" Link knew that Saria's song would come in handy someday. They looked around for Impa, but she was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, Impa fell from the sky and smacked Link across his face.
He fell and they could see Impa's evil grin through the blackness. Suddenly, a green light turned on and they could see a torch in the room. The light revealed Impa's ominous grin. She almost hit Link again, when a red light shone, then blue. It was Saria and her "friends". "Link, use your mirrors shield to reflect the light on to Impa's crown.
Link did as told. He pulled out his shield and the three lights bounced off of it and on to Impa's crown. It hit the jewel right through the center and Impa fell down. Snitzel came up and hit the jewel making the crack bigger. Link shone the light on to Impa's crown again.
It hit the jewel in the center and Snitzel smacked the jewel and another piece of armor fell. Link tried to hit the jewel with light again, but Impa dodged. He tried again many times, but Impa dodged. Ganon wanted to end it so he took the crown and threw it into a torch.
"Gaaaaaah! Where? Link? Oh! What is going on?" "Oh Impa! You are okay!!!!!!!" exclaimed Snitzel. "Yeah…where am I?" "You're in some arena." Said Link. "You were possessed by Ganondorf."
"Link, I-I don't remember…anything, but I do remember that I have to give you a lue-cay." "Now we're using Pig-Latin?" asked Link. "I don't know Pig-Latin! Quit using it!" said Snitzel. "Snitzel, read the clue." Said Link. "It says,
"Snitzel, read it!" "Fine, it says, you have done well to save Impa, now it's time to go to my homeland. The sage there will be the last one before Zelda. I hope you liked the adventure. You have been fun attempting to kill me, but it is time for you to die. Nabooru will surely terminate you. With hatred Ganondorf."
"Looks like it is time for our adventure to calm down." Said Link.
They warped to the spirit temple and walked into the boss room. Of course, Twinrova was dead after Link killed her/them so only Nabooru was there. They entered the room. It was sandy and half destroyed. You could see the sky and it was raining.
Nabooru was standing there, staring at Link and Ganon.
Ganon's eyes popped open really wide. "Boobies!" Nabooru backed off and Impa kicked him in the balls. "Nabooru! Yum, yum!" said Link. "Link," said Impa. "What would Zelda say?" "Zelda's not here." "Oh, but she will be."
Nabooru took out a staff with a blade at the end. "Link…who is she and why does Impa suddenly look like a man to me?" asked Ganonsnitzel. "That is Nabooru, the sage of spirit." Replied Link. "Oh my NAYRU! SHE'S KILLED IMPA WHILE WE WERE TALKING!" shouted Snitzel. "Help." Said Impa.
Nabooru created a sand storm throughout the entire room.
"Snitzel I'm blind!" Cried Impa. "How did she do that?!" Shouted Link. Suddenly huge rocks started slamming into them. Link back flipped from two but a third one crashed into his ribcage and broke three of his ribs. He coughed up some blood.
"Snitzel, m-my red potion!" he shouted. Snitzel ran over to him and got the potion out of his pocket. Link drank it and he was feeling better. Impa could see again, but barely. "Link? Link, smack her crown!" Link took his sword and hit the crown off her head.
Impa took it and punched it until it cracked. "Thank you Impa. Now I know why I liked you!" said Snitzel. Nabooru made a giant tornado of sand and threw it at them. She actually picked it up and threw it like a baseball! It hit Link and slammed him against a wall.
Nabooru laughed and back flipped off a sand dune in the middle of a room. Link used the Gale boomerang to blow the sand off of Nabooru's hiding place. She ran toward Link and tried to hit him, but he dodged it and took her crown. He threw it to Ganon who threw it to Impa who threw it at Link who threw it back to Ganon who smacked it. Another piece of armor fell off.
Nabooru, being smarter than the past sages, picked up the piece of armor and threw it at Impa. It hit her across the face and made a horrible gash. Ganon was pissed. He hit Nabooru in the face, then in her gut, then in he ribs and finally in the jewel on her crown. It broke into a million pieces and scattered everywhere.
"Link? Oh! Was I possessed? Is that Ganondorf?" "No. It's Ganonsnitzel." Answered Link. "Link, I am so grateful that you saved me…but I want to know, why isn't Ganonsnitzel staring at my face but at my-" "Snitzel! Give the lady some space!" shouted Link. "Hey, Nabooru…did-did Ganondorf give you a paper?" asked Link.
"No, he didn't. Why?" Suddenly, there was a huge flash of light and Ganondorf was standing, more like floating, right in front of them.
"You fool! You weren't supposed to lose! I knew that you would never be able to completely destroy them! I am surely disappointed!" "GANON! WHERE'S ZELDA!" screamed Link. He charged at him with his sword in one-hand and light arrows in the other. "Get off of me! You fool! There is no chance that you can beat me as I am!" At that, Ganon left and Link knew it was time to save Zelda.
They left the temple and headed straight for Ganon's castle. When they got there, they saw Ganon in front of the Kokiri forest. He was laughing at the raging fire that he had started. He had a Kokiri boy in his hands. It was Mido.
He must have said something to anger Ganon for when he opened his big mouth, Ganon threw him against a wall. Link ran up to him. "You-you…BITCH! What are you doing!?!" he saw Mido crying with a bloody nose. Some of the other kids were crying too. Ganon just laughed and said, "At last, you have joined the fun! I was about to kill all of these kids, then the Zoras, but you have ruined my plans."
"Listen to yourself, cousin! How do you live with yourself!?! It is unbelievable!" "Oh…I just think of how fun it is and all of my troubles are at ease!" They followed him inside his castle. It was dark, but they could still see him.
Link walked into the room that he was in. "No more "fun" Ganondorf! It ends now!" he drew his sword, but stopped. Zelda was standing in the way. "Zelda, move!" she stood still. "I'm not kidding! Move!" she still stood there. She wasn't a shadow, but her skin was a purple color and her dress was blue.
"Link, did I introduce you to, possessed Zelda? She is so kind, I think you'll like her!" Ganon flew to the top of the room and Zelda's eyes opened. She had no pupils and had no crown. She let out an inhuman scream and hit Link in the face. The attack blew him across the room and into a wall. His arm felt broken and he felt like screaming.
Zelda turned her attention on Snitzel. She turned into a million of herself and one of her picked him up. She punched him and he couldn't move. She took out a knife and put it through his arm. Blood drenched his shirt and he was pinned to the ground.
Link was holding his arm but his other arm worked fine. He took the knife from Snitzel's (who was screaming like a scared baby) arm. He stabbed Zelda in her fore head and she put a spike, from her dress, into his shoulder. They both screamed and fell, but Zelda got up quicker than Link. She took the spike from his shoulder and the dagger in her head, and put them in his two legs.
She pulled them out with such force that it made a fifteen-inch slice. Impa was not getting any attention, so she had the chance to stab Zelda in the back of the head with a pocketknife she had. Nabooru, who didn't stay in the temple, took a bomb and threw it at one of the Zeldas. It was the real one and she turned back into one. Impa stabbed Zelda in the back of the neck.
Link was in horrible pain, but he grabbed the two weapons and threw them at Zelda. They both hit her in the heart. Link tried to stand, but the two gashes in his legs stopped him. He fell again and tried to lift himself, but couldn't. Nabooru grabbed Zelda by her hair and took a spike from her dress and stabbed her in the face. Blood flew everywhere.
Nabooru did it again and Zelda fell. Impa kicked her and a black spirit flew from Zelda's body. The spirit flew around the room, then it went up to Ganondorf. "Damn you!" he shouted then, in a puff of smoke, disappeared. Zelda blinked and her eyes were normal.
"Oh, ugh! My head! Link! You are so hurt!" Zelda stood up. "I was…possessed…wasn't I?" she took out a few fairies to treat Link and Snitzel. "Oh…I really…am sorry…I-I-I feel so horrible!" "Zelda, I-it-it's not your fault! You did nothing. It was all Ganondorf." Said Link. "You didn't do anything." She looked at the necklace that Link gave her. "I-I am so sorry!"
"At least Ganon won't be bothering us for a little while." Said Impa. Link and Zelda looked at the triforce symbol on their hands. "I think don't think he'll be bothering us again." Said Link. "Link, Let's go home." Said Zelda. Link played the Prelude of Light and they were in Hyrule Castle Town.
They walked into the castle and started laughing. Not laughing about anything. Just laughing. They were happy to be alive.
THE END