TITLE: Hannibal's Restaurant
AUTHOR: Lady Sirius
PAIRING: HL/CS
RATING: NC17
FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Hannibal Lecter belong to Thomas Harris, I am only taking the good doctor for a test drive!
Hannibal's Restaurant
The menu glistens boldly in letters of red
With promises of chianti and assorted sweetbreads
For the diverse palate of the discerning diner -
Eating at Hannibal's, nothing could be finer!
Steak tartare for starters, perhaps some fava beans;
He'll welcome you with open jaws, you know he's not mean!
To please your palate, he'll bend a few rules
And tempt you with livers and blood red ragouts.
For the educated among you, he'll saute some brains
While Clarice stands behind him, chanting the refrains,
"Go, Hannibal! It's your birthday! Go, Hannibal! Go, Hannibal!"
Barney will welcome you with a smile at the door
As he leads you across the Italian tile floor.
"Bon appetit," he'll intone in your ear,
As he gazes behind you at his favorite Vermeer.
Across the room, Paul Krendler busses tables,
Doing the very best job he is able,
But as everyone knows, he is not the same man
Since Hannibal cooked up his brain in a pan.
Still, he puts forth an effort, see how hard he strains,
While Clarice stands behind him, chanting the refrains,
"Go, Hannibal! It's your birthday! Go, Hannibal! Go, Hannibal!"
You've come to the kitchen now, Hannibal's domain.
He greets you most charmingly, recites a quatrain.
The Doctor is elegant in his Italian suit.
His eyes gleam maroonly, he's really quite cute.
Clarice is looking slinky in a black Dior gown,
While Inspector Pazzi is just hanging around.
He's really quite useless, he just stares at the wall
And waits for his pretty young wife to call.
But she's gone to the opera with one of her new swains,
While Clarice stands behind him, chanting the refrains,
"Go, Hannibal! It's your birthday! Go, Hannibal! Go, Hannibal!"
Hannibal is cooking now, his gourmet brand of food
He's working on his specialty - he calls it free-range rude;
And Mason's sitting close at hand, he's drooling at the sight
Of Tuscan roast pork mini-bites to whet the appetite.
If he's too surly Hannibal just smacks him on his head,
Slips him another popper and sends him off to bed.
The gangs all here, let's give a cheer, administer some pain,
It's karaoke time now, let's shout out the refrain,
"Go, Hannibal! It's your birthday! Go, Hannibal! Go, Hannibal!"
And you can get anything you want
At Hannibal's Restaurant.