'Borderline' is a story about the journey of a girl as she searches for validation and a place to belong to and call her own. She makes her way through changes, some forced on her by life, some due her own desperation to run away from her living nightmares. She survives on the pure unbridled hope that fills her every time she is pushes to the brink of accepting defeat. Will she be able to let someone in through the barriers she has erected for protecting herself? When she finally thinks she is happy, will her past mistakes come back and ruin the new peaceful haven she has created for herself?
Prologue
"And if you still don't believe me then I really don't know the man I fell in love with. And just F.Y.I, that's you!"
He stared at me like I had just smacked him right across his face; like he didn't know what hit him. I was so angry. My eyes started prickling. 'I will not cry. I will not cry. I will NOT cry,' I chanted in my head repeatedly. But those traitor tears were escaping in big, fat drops. "Now look what you made me do!" I bellowed. "I haven't cried since you gave me that lecture about not obsessing about being considered nice by everyone." But he just stood there looking dumbstruck: the man who always knew what to say to me, silenced after all.
My heart was racing so fast. I felt as if everything was closing in on me. I had thought that my days of feeling humiliated and embarrassed because of what someone thought of me were so over. But no. One accusation, a shadow of doubt from the man I loved with my whole heart had me crying like a baby, again. I had to get out of there, stat, asap, as fast as my feet would carry me. Run, Bella, run. I was out of there before he could react. I could internally feel myself reverting back to my old self. Frightened, timid, borderline Bella was making a comeback. I slammed the door and ran down the stairs of the apartment complex. The more distance I could put between the two of us, the better it would be for me. Just as I saw my car in front of me, I realized what an epic mistake I had committed. In my haste to get out of the house, I had left my purse and keys on the coffee table in his living room.