I fell in love. It was a perfectly normal thing to do. Most people in the world think so. My story however, is a little bit different. You see, unlike most "normal" people I know, I didn't fall in love with the Adonis. The tall, blond, muscular, beauty that roams the corridors.
It happened only a few months ago. It happened by chance that I met him. And we connected over the smallest thing. Herbology. Yes, that's right. I fell in love with Neville Longbottom. My name is Natalie Dietrich. I've been a student at Hogwarts for seven years. I was sorted into Ravenclaw immediately at the start of my very first year. There was no question about it. I was born to be a Ravenclaw. Under most circumstances, you'd instantly think that I am intelligent. You'd be correct. I don't mean to sound so egotistical, but the plain truth of it is that I am. And despite all of the cleverness, there has always been one course in my studies here at school that I've struggled to maintain my highest scores. You got it. Herbology. That is how I met Neville face to face.
I suppose I'm rather glad that I have trouble in this class because, I doubt I would have fallen in love if it weren't for my downfall.
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It is my final year here in school and I was in desperate need of a tutor for the botanical course. It's not that I'm awful at Herbology. I just don't understand the need to know all of what we are taught. So, it was the only subject I've really ever had trouble in. As a Ravenclaw, I am expected to uphold certain standards when it comes to the marks in my classes.
Of course Herbology wasn't the only "subject" in my life that I was having trouble sorting out. My "love life" at that point was idle. Non-existent would actually be a better way to describe it. There were guys, plenty of them who showed enough attention. There were none who were able to keep my interest long enough. I have very high standards and I am picky. I guess it shows more often than not. I do not consider just anyone. They must be special. They must show that "spark".
One person in particular who had never shown said spark, who'd done nothing more than turn me off was Draco Malfoy. He'd spent far too much time trying to impress me and get my attention in the wrong ways. For example, stopping me in a hallway between classes is one thing, accosting me in a hallway outside of a classroom is another. Unfortunately, Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays, I share both Herbology and History of Magic with the man. At the start of first term, he took position of the table directly in front of me in History. That way, he is in better position to turn and bother me on more occasions than I have an appreciation for. He usually starts off polite enough most days, greeting me with a sweet hello, asking about my last class, but then his questions turn to why I refused him so often, and comments of how discouraging it was to him that I couldn't be bothered to date someone of his "status". It is always a battle with him. He is so used to getting everything that he wants. So, when he is consistently refused something he acts like a petulant child, throwing tantrums, and calling names.
There is one battle that I remember most clearly. I remember it because it was the day that started my love for Neville. The day started of course with History class.
"Good morning Natalie." Draco said, as I sat at the table beside my best friend Morgana Sellers.
(Just a side note before I go on, Morgana does not like Draco Malfoy. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that she shagged him at the beginning of this year and he's never paid much attention to her since then. That does not stop her from continuing her warnings to me, despite my own dislike of the man.)
"Good morning." I returned to Draco, polite enough to be courteous as my parents have always taught me to be, but reticent enough not to give him the impression that I will join in a long conversation with him.
"How has your day been?" He starts out to seem genuinely interested in what I have to say. But I'm no moron. He only asks these questions so that he can gain my favor. I've learned not to give up anymore than is needed when it comes to him. Keep your responses short, and your reserve unbroken.
"My day has been just fine Malfoy."
When Professor Binns enters in from his private office as class begins, I get my reprieve from Malfoy. Enough about my issues with him for now. Back to Herbology. Although Ravenclaw is unfortunate enough to share this class with Slytherin as well, we also share it with a few advanced herbology Gryffindfor students. One Gryffindor in particular had soon gained my approval. Neville. Why?
Some would assume that I only used him for his knowledge in the plant subject, that I only wanted to get ahead in the course. Others claim me to be a bit mental. Neither is true. As luck would have it, he did help me in Herbology. I cannot describe to you how horribly wrong the class was for me. Neville and I sat beside each other in class and he knows everything about everything when it comes to the subject. I'm fascinated by people who know a lot about one thing and concentrate their efforts on that one thing. Me? I like to know a little about a lot of things.
Now, I'm not sure whether it was because I had repeatedly refused his advances or because it was Neville I seemed far friendlier towards, but Malfoy, (it's back to him again. He is the thorn in my side) took it upon himself to exact a bit of retaliation in my direction. Professor Sprout asked me to name the sedentary properties of the silly plant we were studying that day. She was mad to think I had remembered. I had attempted to study my Herbology notes the night before, but without success. Honestly, I found History of Magic to be of more interest than Herbology most days. As I was trying to recall anything I'd written in my notes, a whisper came from the opposite side of me. I stated the same answer that he had given. That action did not come about without its consequences. Immediately Malfoy raised his hand to the air.
"Professor, I do believe that Natalie should try to answer questions on her own without the help of Longbottom, who should also know better than to feed classmates the answers." Malfoy accused us of cheating. The slimy git!
Professor Sprout agreed with him, asking to privately see both Neville and myself after class. I apologized over the entire span of the remaining class.
"I'm so sorry Neville." I couldn't help but repeat.
Neville of course being Neville, took it all incredibly easy. He assured me again and again that it was not my fault, it was alright, and I had nothing to feel bad about. We both got through the rest of class, and waited in our chairs as the rest of our classmates left us to our fate. Malfoy of course being the arrogant arse that he is, took it upon himself to make plenty of snide comments before leaving. I had formed enough of a wall against his comments to not let them affect me, but I could tell that Neville, even after seven years, let them influence his emotions.
"Don't worry about him." I told Neville, placing my hand over his.
He turned to me and smiled. He looked like he was going to say something to me, but didn't get the chance when the Professor approached us where we sat waiting.
"Miss Dietrich, Mr. Longbottom," She acknowledged.
My hand left Neville's as we both turned to see the woman standing with her arms crossed to her chest.
"Professor Sprout…" I started, but Neville interrupted my explanation of the incident.
"Professor, it was my fault. I'm sorry." He spoke. "I was just hoping to help Natalie." He had taken responsibility for it all.
"I understand." The professor said to us. We were both a tad confused by her understanding demeanor. She went on. "Miss Dietrich, I know that you have been struggling in this class. You've kept up with the work relatively well, but I don't believe it is the best you are able to accomplish. Perhaps a tutor would suit you. You have your N.E.W.T. exams coming up soon, and I would like to see you living up to your best potential."
I nodded. "Yes Professor. " I didn't really want a tutor, but what else could I say?
"Mr. Longbottom?" Professor Sprout turned towards Neville. "Could I ask you to tutor Miss Dietrich?"
Neville didn't hesitate to answer. He didn't even think about the answer.
"Yes of course." He said.
I smiled at him. This tutoring idea was no longer looking like such a bad thought.
"Great." The professor said before dismissing us.
We gathered our things and left the greenhouse. It was our last class for the day, so Neville was nice enough to walk me back to my tower, as we worked out a schedule for our joint study sessions.
"I'm free tonight after dinner." I told him. I looked forward to spending some time with him. He seemed very nice and still he fascinated me. Time alone with him would be a bonus. We agreed he would meet me outside of Ravenclaw Tower thirty minutes after dinner, so that I would have the opportunity to grab my books, and change my clothes.
"After dinner then." Neville agreed.
********************************************
After dinner, I was on my way back to the tower when once more, I encountered a smug looking Draco Malfoy standing alongside his goon squad (Gregory Goyle and Blaise Zabini).
I didn't want to get you into trouble Natalie. "He explained, standing up straight, taking steps toward me. "But now I'm sure you can understand the power I hold over you and others."
Power? Ha! Power over me? Oh, he wishes.
He was closing in on me. "Nat, come on. Just give me one night. You won't regret it." He said smugly.
He had closed in on me and my back had literally come in contact with a wall. I pushed him away from me.
"You don't get it. I cannot be forced to accept an invitation from someone I have no interest in." I informed him. "And I did not get into trouble in class. I got help in Herbology. I gained a tutor. And I'm going to be late if I don't get my books on time."
He pulled me back. "Blow it off. Come with me. We'll take a quiet walk by the lake, and…"
"I said no Malfoy. Good night."
Ten minutes later, I had changed into a pair of blue jeans and a pink t-shirt, I had my books in hand, with five minutes to spare. I exited my common room and hurried down the winding staircase leading out of the tower to find Neville waiting five minutes early for me. I was still a little irritated by my encounter with Malfoy, so when I met Neville and he smiled, I still couldn't keep my body language and my eyes from showing the irritation I felt.
"Are you alright?" Neville asked me.
"I'm fine Neville. I'm just a little annoyed." I told him about my run in with Malfoy, driving a bit in too far with my previous run ins with the man as we walked.
"Oh." Was the only response that the Gryffindor gave.
I hadn't expected anything more. I could sort my own problems involving Draco Malfoy on my own. But I didn't want to focus on Malfoy. Truth be told, I preferred focusing on Neville. I found myself looking at him…staring at him as we walked. I noticed his eyes first. I really looked at them, noticing them now fully for the first time. He has beautiful eyes. There is a quiet sense of solitude in them. The depth in them is more kind, rather than wise.
"Where should we study?" I asked him, changing the subject, also concentrating on not tripping over my own feet as I continued to stare, and he began to talk.
Neville looked pensive for a moment. "Well, I had first thought about the library, but if you are troubled about Malfoy searching for you, then I might suggest we stay to the seventh floor."
"Room of Requirement?" I set upon the same thought.
He nodded, and we walked along the halls together.
***********************************************************
Studying with Neville was great. I had retained so much of what we read and discussed. All of the information we went over, I do truly believe I could not have kept without his help. He made it easy. And to my amusement and personal delight, every time I learned something new properly, we had both begun to shamelessly flirt.
A week and a half into our studying, we were now comfortable enough to "flirt" without my letting onto the developing feelings I had. I had begun to really like him. I suppose that was why I'd found the courage to finally kiss him. It was the night before our final study session, and I had planned every detail down to the last breath. Knowing Neville's pattern of study and movements now had given me perfect opportunity to move forward. I had no intention of thinking of the consequences. I had watched him sit beside me every night for two weeks, interested in helping me along. I watched him get great joy out of knowing how I was getting a hold on this entire subject. I watched him run his hand through his hair as he quietly sat back while I read. I watched him bite his lower lip when our eyes met, I felt my stomach flip when he cleared his throat, looking away when I caught him staring back. My head would flip when …I am getting away with the story. The point is that I simply made it my mission to have him. There was no way around it. So that's what I did. I got him.
We were both positioned on the couch that night in the Room of Requirement. He sat with the book facing him, testing me with questions, while I had laid back, my legs resting easily over his lap. Let me tell you, it is not an effortless task to concentrate on Herbology with one of his hands rested comfortably to my leg, the musical sounds of his voice resonating through my ears. Could you have resisted sitting up and snogging him? I sure couldn't. I didn't.
"Neville?" I sat up, moving my legs so that as I sat up, I sat on them.
I faced him, intentionally pulling the book down so that my hand came down to rest on his thigh. He tensed briefly, but relaxed after a minute.
"Yes Nat?" His voice cracked. For the love of God, it was the cutest thing I'd ever heard.
"Nev, I want to try something. An experiment." I offered to him.
He nodded his head.
I brought my hand to the side of his face, running it slowly over his skin, then moving it into his hair, watching his eyes close sweetly. I felt my heart jump when he closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip again. Holy Hell, it was the sexiest thing ever. He did try to stop me though. When his eyes re-opened, he sighed and grabbed my hand as it was roaming over his neck. To be honest, when I'd come up with my plan, I hadn't factored in the possibility of him stopping me.
"Nev, please don't stop me." I moved my entire body in closer to his.
"Nat?" He said before my mouth lightly touched his.
It was perfect. The kiss started very slow, moving gently together. Once he relaxed, there was more desire and frenzy in the kiss. But then…
Stupid Gryffindor chivalry. I honestly don't know what happened. One minute we were "innocently" snogging, the next he was pulling away, keeping me at arms length as we both sat breathing heavily.
"Not like this Natalie." That was the last thing he said that night. "Not like this." He stood, straightened his shirt, and left the room, leaving me alone to now ache for his lips again. I threw myself back into the couch as the sting of his words hit me. If not like this, then how? I'd be damned now if he wasn't going to be mine.
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I had to hurry to my lesson with Neville. I was nearing ten minutes late when I ran through the door of the oversized room. When I entered, I stopped mid sprint. I couldn't believe what I saw when I entered. It was the most beautiful thing I'd see…ever. The room had been transformed into the most striking place imaginable. I was speechless. There were plants, trees, flowers, and the air smelled of a cold outdoor night, all grouped together in the room. The sight of it all was breathtaking. The sights, the sounds, the sweet smells mixed through the wind…there was wind, blowing through the room. Eventually, I remembered that I was late and Neville was waiting. I walked further into the room. There was a narrow path with little lit orbs led through some of the trees and bushes. I hoped like Hell that I wouldn't be trekking through some scary jungle zone. Fortunately, the path led straight through to what I assumed then, still assume now was the middle of the room. There was a clearing…of sorts. The pathway led out to a lake. It looked just like the Lake on Hogwart's grounds. It was all very overwhelming, but I had to find Neville. I looked around the area.
"Nev?" I knew he had to be in here somewhere. I just had to find where exactly.
"Natalie." He was positioned with the Herbology course book on his lap. He sat under the tree to my left.
I turned to see him. "I'm so sorry I'm late Neville. I got held up."
"I didn't think you were going to show up tonight." He stood and walked over to me. "We have a lot to do."
I continued to look around at the surroundings as he came up beside me. "What is all of this Neville? It's absolutely beautiful, but…"
"I want you to see first hand everything that you will have to know for your test. And these…" He motioned around him. "Are my favorites."
"Alright." I looked around, wary to have to learn everything that surrounded us in one study session. "Where do we start?"
"Here. This way." He took my hand. I'm not sure if he meant to do it, but he took my hand with his, linking our fingers together, and led me over to a small green plant with silver and gold bells hanging from it. As pretty as they were, the sound piercing from them was enough to send chills up one's spine.
I covered my ears immediately, wondering why he wasn't doing the same. His hands covered mine, pulling them down away from my ears. He ignored my protests.
"Listen Nat. Just listen. Close your eyes."
I did as he instructed, trying to block out the loud piercing buzz.
"Concentrate on the sound it makes."
"It's shrill and loud and annoying." I objected.
"Please Natalie." He said.
I sighed and tried to concentrate, finally hearing what I assume was what I was meant to hear. The buzzing sound had changed, becoming softer, melodic almost.
"It's like music." I said aloud. "It's soft, but you can definitely make out music."
"That's sort of what it's for." Neville told me.
His statement obviously didn't make sense to me, and the look on my face must have showed it. I kept my eyes closed as I felt him moving around me.
"It's called Prima Seras." He explained, whispering into my ear as he stood behind me. His hands touched to my shoulders. His voice was low, soft and unintentionally seductive. He clearly didn't mean for it to sound as intense as it did.
"Fantastic." I breathed out softly, keeping my voice as level and controlled as possible.
He chuckled when I had mostly failed at that attempt.
"It's also used for studying." He appealed to my more Ravenclaw-ish side. "Students use them in their dorms to relax while they're studying."
"Fascinating." I opened my eyes again, courageously turning around to face him while his hands were still held to my shoulders.
I moved in closer to him, leaning my head to his chest, pulling my arms around his torso, as his wrapped around me. We began to sway together in rhythm to the sounds of the plant. Quietly we stayed together.
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FLASHBACK: FOURTH YEAR
"Nice plant Neville." Harry Potter sarcastically mentioned, walking into the dorm room they shared, his ears fully covered by his palms.
Neville sat on his bed, carefully pruning and picking the plant to perfection.
"Are you planning on exacting revenge on some unsuspecting victim?"
"No." The dark haired Gryffindor distractedly answered. "It's for Natalie."
"You're going to talk to her this time then?" Harry inquired.
Harry was currently the only one to Neville's knowledge that knew of his crush on Natalie Dietrich.
Neville looked up, opened his mouth to speak, but immediately closed his mouth, going back to concentrating on his project. Deep down, Neville knew he likely wouldn't approach Natalie directly yet. He wanted to. In his mind, his dreams, and through his deepest desires, every time he spoke to her, he took her into his arms, looked into her eyes, and passionately kissed her with a fierce needing.
Once the plant was to his satisfaction, Neville stood, leaving the dorm and tower with the plant in hand. He made his way to Ravenclaw tower just before curfew went into effect. He stood frozen outside of the spiral staircase entrance, willing himself to request that one of the entering Ravenclaw students grab Natalie for him. Instead of doing what he wanted, he borrowed a piece of parchment from a student and jotted down a short note, setting it onto a stair with the plant.
*******************************************
"There are many different species of plants and flowers in the span of this room here." He told me quietly as we continued to move.
"Most are rather bothersome though." I returned to him. "They are loud, and…"
"There are those that bite, and yell, or those that are difficult to bear, but you have to be open to the possibilities that they give and help to assist the world we're in."
I stayed quiet, listening to him. His voice had placed a trance over me again.
"Like mandrakes?"
He nodded. "Yes. Everything in this room has its purpose."
"But mandrakes can kill you."
"If you aren't careful, if they're grown. That's true. I passed out second year when we were first introduced to them."
"You did not." I half chuckled. Shock. I was in complete shock.
"Yes. It was mostly embarrassing. No harm came."
"I'm glad." I said to him, smiling again. We stopped dancing, moving away.
He smiled back at me.
This was where he was most comfortable. This was where he found his peace. It wasn't hard to see that this was where he craved to be. Those few points worked to my advantage in a few ways. First, as I asked question after question about each plant or flower, I was then able to learn more about him by slipping in a few personal questions here and there. Second, as I asked him course questions related to my studies, I actually learned the right stuff. He broke things down so that I understood it.
We walked together that night. We walked and we talked.
"What is your absolute favorite plant?" I asked him at one point. I genuinely wanted to know.
He thought long and hard before taking my hand. He reached out and placed his fingers and palm to mine, and led me further down the path we were on. It grew darker and darker down the path. My hand held tight to his.
"Come on." He said.
When he stopped, I jumped back a good foot or so. It could've been more. "That's your favorite plant?" I asked. "Why?"
Neville looked contemplative. "Because even as it hides in this darkness, this is the one plant that I know is never afraid to gain what it desires." He told me.
My head shot up to meet his eyes. His eyes… there was something different in them this time. It was something I'd not seen before that moment. Or maybe I hadn't registered to want to see it yet. Either way, his eyes showed a true defined desire. I couldn't look away, not even when he started to talk again.
"It has no feelings really, but it reminds me of a person, any person who has the courage to get what he…they want." His correction was not lost on me.
"I think anybody can get what they really want." I said to him, my eyes holding firm to his.
"Maybe, but what if what they want doesn't want to be wanted in return?"
"What if it does?"
His voice lowered. "What if it's a person?"
I had trouble forming thoughts from that point on. I ignored that our conversation had taken on a life of its own. I ignored the fact that there was a possibility that he was not referring to a desire for me in particular. I hadn't exactly thought about the fact that there might be someone else he was interested in.
"What if it is?" I returned to him. "I still think it's worth pursuing. If it's what you want, then maybe you should…" I hadn't realized how close we had become. Proximity speaking, we were close. Very close, and still his eyes hadn't turned from mine.
"How?" He questioned. "How do I get this person?"
I couldn't breathe. "Don't know." A truly articulate answer.
It was a very articulate answer that caused the focus between us to get lost. Neville turned his eyes away. The connection was broken.
"So, maybe we'll end here tonight." He offered.
I had to agree.
"Good night Natalie." He whispered before we separated and exited the room for the night.
"Good night Neville." I said aloud, more to myself as he was already walking away.
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The following morning was Saturday, the start to a Hogsmeade weekend for seventh years. Morgana and I met after breakfast to leave together. We spent the morning with cups of coffee in our hands, strolling the streets and shops for anything that looked of interest. Not too much caught my eyes that day. Perhaps it was mostly to do with my focus still not on the things it should have been on. Morgana insisted we stop in to Honeydukes. Before agreeing, my peripheral vision caught sight of Draco Malfoy inside of the shop too. I was not in the mood for ducking and diving, so I suggested Morgana go in, while I disappeared in the nearby Quill shop.
By sheer coincidence and luck, Hermione Granger found me deep within the store, examing multi-colored quills. She stuck with me until we met up with Morgana again outside of the Three Broomsticks. I must say that I never understood why Hermione was placed into Gryffindor over Ravenclaw. She is smarter than most in the school, myself included, but again, that is another story for another time. It was good that we were met by Hermione that day. She is very helpful. At least, I see it as helpful now. Denial. That's the proper word to use to describe where my head resided when my friends attempted to pry information from me. After all, how does one admit their crush to others, when they've not completely admitted it to themselves? I wasn't ready to fully confess anything out loud yet. But Hermione is clever. She sees things that others don't. She, before anyone else saw what was slowly developing between me and Neville, even if she had not seen us together with her own eyes.
"How is the Herbology tutoring coming along?" Hermione casually asked as the three of us entered into the Three Broomsticks, finding a table to ourselves.
Morgana gave a perceptively shrewd look to me, then to Hermione. She too knew too damned much for her own good.
"It's fine." I replied. "But how did you know?"
"Neville keeps disappearing every night at about the same time. Naturally as his friends, many of us Gryffindor were curious to know where he was going, so ultimately he told us." I scrunched my eyebrows together, giving an incredulous look.
"Funny enough," Hermione went on, "when he told us he was spending his time with you, he couldn't help but blush and look dreamy. In fact, every time he says your name he looks dreamy. What are you doing to him?"
"I haven't done anything." I denied. "I…he…we study together. He's been very helpful."
"Well, it's no secret that Neville fancies you Natalie." Hermione offhandedly mentioned as if it were common knowledge, which it wasn't. Not to me anyway.
Both Hermione and Morgana looked like the cats that had stolen canaries when they saw my jaw drop. Too much had inadvertently been said, so she couldn't retract what she'd said. I knew. Now I knew.
"What?"
"Yeah, everyone knows. Well, everyone in Gryffindor House." Hermione had to go on.
ALL OF GRYFFINDOR! They all knew?
"How long?"
"Umm." The girl faltered.
"How long?" I pushed her.
"Fourth year."
Whoa. Fourth year. This was making my head spin a little. But it did make sense now. Fourth year was the year of the tournament. I said it made sense, because well, fourth year was the year that a very loud annoying plant showed up in Ravenclaw tower, brought in with a note addressed to me. I now know the plant as Prima Seras, but back then I couldn't focus on keeping it. Yes, I tossed it in the rubbish bins. I didn't know it was from Neville. I figured it was some sick annoying joke.
I never admitted to anything to either of the girls about what I was or wasn't feeling for Neville, and they didn't dare to ask. The rest of our trip into the town was great. We gathered supplies and arrived back to the castle just before dusk.
****************************************
I would like to take a moment here to point out that on many of the following nights that Nev and I studied together, the beginning of what happened between us, it was me who engaged him into conversation, or initiated the games of foot play under the table. It wasn't that he was not happy to talk or play as it were, but…well… the man is shy. Very shy. Not that any of that is relevant. I only thought it should be mentioned to lead into the moments when I would see him watching me, studying my movements, or when I could catch him about to say something before pulling back. Sure, sometimes it was a bit annoying, but mostly it was those moments in particular that made my stomach start to flip, and my head begin to spin. The night that I finally addressed the subject, bringing the behavior to light, the night after my enlightening Hogsmeade trip, was really when it started.
He was watching me again, out of the corner of his eye. Okay, I was watching him too. I suppose I'm marginally better at the discretion with which I use. I knew he was watching, so when he chuckled softly, I picked my head up from the book laying on the table in front of me.
"What?" I cautiously asked.
He shook his head the first time, smiling as he did, but my curious nature does frequently take over, so I pushed, asking the same question again. Eventually he answered, his tone lower than normal, expecting to get into trouble for his actions.
"It's just that I notice that when you're reading and studying, you twirl strands of your hair around your pinky."
"Nervous study habit I suppose." I explained to him, pulling my hand to the table, away from my hair. "I don't even notice I'm doing it most of the time."
"I didn't mean you should stop." He smiled up at me. "It's quite charming." He still smiled.
I like his smile. I'm intrigued by his smile. It's mysterious enough to make you wonder what lies behind it, but still friendly enough to make you feel safe. When our session that night came to an end, four hours after we'd started, I gathered my things, waiting for him to do the same. We walked to the small door together, stopping before exiting. I kissed him before he could leave. I leaned up and quickly, softly pressed my lips to his cheek.
"Good night Nev."
I left first, disappearing down the hall, leaving both of us to wonder what would come next. For days and of course nights after that, I saw his smile more often. His smile gave me butterflies. I did continue to somewhat brush off the feeling of falling head first down a rabbit hole. I'd never expected before those moments that a smile, a simple look could be what did me in, making knees go weak, and my heart want to fly from my chest. This was the moment something else began. The feeling of free-falling head first down that proverbial rabbit hole, of falling for someone so deeply that it hurt to not be around them. I would see him in the hallways now. I guess before that point, I hadn't noticed how often we passed each other before and after or classes. Things were changing quickly. When I saw him in passing now, it was different. It felt exciting, like we shared a secret, something that no one else in the school, in the world was privy to. And in fact we did.
I would catch his eyes here and there. Many times I would greet him with a simple nod or smile, and to my own amazement would watch a blush creep over his face. But again, I don't think I was totally aware of the degree to which either of us was falling.
Thursdays I have Charms class. And to my great enjoyment, Herbology is not the only course I share with Neville. Perhaps I should've mentioned that before. My apologies. Anyhow, I usually meet Morgana outside of Professor Flitwick's classroom. Neville sits directly in front of us with Cormac McLaggen. Cormac and Morgana both knew at the time that Neville and I were spending our night in study together, so naturally the two made it their personal mission to either gain information from us, or cause joint unease on mine and Neville's part. Neville would get a little unnerved by the comments the two would make in lowered tones, but it never really fazed me. After all, if I could deal with dodging Draco Malfoy, I could deal with Morgana and Cormac. I would comment back to them. On occasion, seeing Neville's discomfort, I would send him notes on his parchment. If memory serves me correctly, the last note I sent him via class notes was simple. Just one word.
'Breathe.' It said.
That one got a laugh from the man in the middle of class. Head turned toward him and I couldn't help but smile, especially when after being reprimanded by Flitwick, he turned around and winked as he smiled back. I swear I saw butterflies, stars, and fireworks stream through the room. He laughed again, turning back around before I could say anything, not that my vocabulary, or the ability to speak was available to me. Now, it's not that I had never heard him laugh before, but it had then started to do something to me. His laugh has magical powers over me. Is that possible? His laugh has the power to make me want to cross an entire room full of people, throw my arms around him, and never ever let go.
The next few days passed without incident, going on innocently enough between Nev and I. A look here, a touch there, nothing at all over the top or out of the ordinary. In fact I was starting to get the impression that things between us would never pick up. However, when the end of the week came, I had become tired of waiting. I had had a fantastic day. It had been one of those surreal days where everything goes right, and the bottom of perfection doesn't fall out of reach. I saw Neville after my Ancient Runes class. He was sitting with Harry Potter, going on about whatever guys go on about.
"Natalie!" He called out to me when Harry had motioned discreetly, or rather not so discreetly in my direction.
I turned to see him walking to me.
"Hi Nev." I said, greeting him.
"Hey Nat." He returned. "I was thinking we should meet earlier tonight if it's alright with you. It's our last night of tutoring." He mentioned.
I felt a small twinge of pain go through me with his last statement. After tonight, we would go back to our regular lives, no longer spending nights talking, laughing, or …anything. This just would not do.
"Of course." I told him without hesitation before I had to walk away from him. "I have another class to get to." I told him. "See you tonight."
He nodded a few times before the blush crept into his cheeks again. We met up to study an hour before dinner was set to begin in the Hall. We stopped to run down for food, prepared to meet back in our room afterwards. Here comes the good and bad of what happened next. The good is that I kissed him. I really truly definitely properly kissed him. It was unexpected and nearly earth shattering. Just before reaching the door, I'd decided to take matters into my own hands, as I was tired of not moving forward at all with him. Before reaching the door, I touched my hand gently to his arm, causing him to turn and face me. My breathing became a little erratic as I realized what I was about to do. Plus there was the fact that whenever he was near me, all I could think of was the feel of his lips against mine. The thought of it sent chills through me. I stepped in close enough to him so that we were only inches apart, our mouths were so close that our breaths now ran together. And then I leaned up, placed one hand to his shoulder, another to his neck, and kissed him. He kissed me back, wrapping his arms to my back, pulling me in closer to him before abruptly letting go.
I'd wondered if I had done the wrong thing. I figured that if he had kissed me back, then it wasn't so bad, and that I couldn't have done anything wrong, but then my actions showed the consequences.
The very same night at dinner, I intentionally walked by Gryffindor table, just to see him again. He was sitting with three of his mates, talking intently something that seemed very important. I wasn't going to interrupt him.
"Hey Nat." He said, before I disappeared to my own table, to my own house mates, closer to the Slytherin table where as always Malfoy sat watching my every move.
"Hi Nev." I returned as his eyes looked up to meet mine when I turned back to him. I walked away feeling like I was walking on air. As I turned away, I smiled, knowing that he still watched me walk away, as did his friends. I wasn't too far away, so I could hear bits and pieces of the new inquisition his friends gave.
"Who is that?" The blond with the Irish accent questioned first.
"Natalie." Neville very matter-of-factly replied.
"And how do we know her?" The redhead, Ron Weasley asked.
"I," Neville emphasized to the men surrounding him, "know her because I am tutoring her in Herbology."
And there it was. I wished then that I hadn't been surreptitiously listening to the conversation. The words stung. He was my tutor. Not that it was bad, it was the truth, but he had crushed my hope in that moment, and didn't even realize it. I didn't let my wounding comment continue to bother me in front of hordes of students. How would that have looked? Besides, I never really believed that he'd meant for it to break into my fragile emotions. Not that I'm defending his words, but it wasn't as if I'd very clearly made my budding feelings toward him known. No, I was not ready to walk up to him and declare anything at all. So, I sat at my table, crushed really by my own inability to express to him my surely growing attraction. And this all happened because I had kissed him. There was a brief second when I had regretted the kiss, but then remembered how wonderful it felt to be in his arms, pulled so tightly to him, his mouth crushed upon mine. No, I definitely wouldn't regret it.
Showing back up to our tutoring session took a lot for me to do. I stood outside of the door for a full five minutes, debating whether or not to walk away. I didn't want to face him after feeling so thwarted. When I did finally decide to enter into the room, he happily greeted me.
"Hey Nat." He said as I entered in through the door.
How could he be so happy? After looking so shocked by my action, and then so publicly rejecting me, I began to feel anger bubbling and more hurt inside of me. I grabbed my book and mumbled a hello, gaining a new look of concern from the sweet unknowing Gryffindor.
"Is something wrong?" He did question me.
I guess after spending so much time alone with each other, getting to know each others actions and reactions, it had become easier for him to notice my mood changes. I shook my head, lying to him in the process. I had to lie. I didn't want to. I couldn't very well pick my head up and say 'Hey Nev, I'm angry because have no interest in me despite the fact that you flirt with me whenever the chance presents itself, and you are willing to kiss me fairly passionately, and then when the time comes, you publicly voice your disinterest.
He shrugged off my switch in demeanor, coming to sit beside me at the table, studying and reading.
"So your test is tomorrow." He said. "I thought we should review everything, or maybe get you ahead for what is to come after the test."
He is totally oblivious sometimes. I sort of enjoy that. But I wasn't in the mood.
"Do you think we could not do anymore review tonight Nev?" I suggested to him. "I'm not much in the mood for any more of this."
He sighed. "Something is wrong. I know it is Nat." He cautiously approached, closing his book. "Have I done something?
"Not exactly." I lied to him again.
"Has Malfoy approached you again?"
"Not since the other night."
"Alright then." He agreed. "We can stop tonight if you're not feeling well." He stood, looking more disappointed than I had expected him to be. "Good night Nat." He started to walk away, making me feel guilty now.
"Are we friends Nev?" I boldly asked him. The words were out of my mouth before I could think.
"Of course we are Nat." He stopped, turning to face me, his tone still dejected and disappointed. He had nearly reached the door. "Why?" He questioned me.
I couldn't. I just couldn't go on with this conversation. I was about to let him go, about to face not having him in my life, but I didn't want to know the answers to my questions. I didn't want to be rejected face to face by the only guy in so long that I had bothered to be attracted to since fourth or fifth year. I didn't want him to throw my walls back into place, by saying the words that he saw me as just a friend, or just some girl he was helping to study.
"Natalie?" His voice broke through my thoughts. "Nat, what is this about?" He bravely asked, standing in the room with me.
I remember him looking almost helpless, like he really wanted to know what had irked me so much. Bloody Gryffindors and their damned courage. He walked back into the room, coming closer and closer towards me. The couch beside me was where he sat, his eyes fixed on me with question in them.
"Please talk to me Natalie." He motioned for me to sit.
I couldn't sit beside him.
"It's nothing Neville. I was just…"
"Please don't insult my intelligence Natalie." He insisted.
"Then don't insult mine." I returned. "I know how you feel about me. So, I can't allow you to come in here, touch my hand, or my shoulder the way you do, or look at me the way you have, when I now know it can't lead anywhere."
Oh God, I'd started it. I had opened the flood gates and it was now too late to pull back the barrier. Can-Open-Worms-Everywhere.
Neville stood up, placing his hands on my shoulders. His gently touch only burned me now. He turned my body so that I faced him
"What do you mean how I feel about you?"
I struggled out of his hold, sitting on the couch.
"I can't Nev. I cannot have this conversation with you. It has the definite potential to destroy me."
He sat back down beside me. I pulled my hands to the back of my neck and leaned forward, resting my elbows to my knees.
"You've already started this conversation Natalie. It's too late." He reasoned. "Please, I don't want to push you into anything, but I have to know why you would all of a sudden question how I feel. I mean, I thought I had made it clear, but maybe I was too subtle." His hand rested to my hands, still at the back of my neck.
I pulled away, sitting up, standing up, and walking a few feet away towards the door. I needed some distance between us.
"No Nev, you made it perfectly clear tonight at dinner when you told your friends that you are just my tutor." I spoke, my voice getting lower as my hurt showed.
There was a short pause in the conversation as Neville's face went from one reaction to the next in a span of about ten seconds.
"Nat, I didn't think it was fair to tell them anything before I told you." He paused again. "At least until I gained the courage to tell you out loud." He looked up at me.
"Tell me what?" I asked him, genuinely curious now.
"That I…" Nothing came after that, so I pushed him.
"I…" His head lowered again. "I like you Natalie. I like you a lot."
He'd said he was attracted to me. He said he wanted me too. Well, okay he didn't exactly put it that way, but it was close enough. He said he liked me too. I couldn't help it. I smiled. I walked back to where he sat, closing the distance between us.
"It's funny you know." I said, unable to take my eyes from him.
Neville shook his head in question. "What is?"
My eyes were glued to his as he looked up at me, an inquisitive look on his face. I stayed silent for a minute, contemplating how to now accurately put into words everything that I felt. I figured it was then or never.
"It's funny how you can know something, something true, something that has been there all along, and only just realize how sincere and real it is. You know?"
His eyebrows rose. He seemed both amused with and apprehensive about my rambling. Obviously there was a point to my digression, there always was, but he was having trouble finding it this time.
"I've know all this time." I went on. "I admitted it to myself so long ago, and only now have I realized how temperate and absolute it is."
"How absolute what is?" He was still completely clueless to my point.
"I should have told you earlier. I wanted to." I confessed to him. "So many times."
Our eyes were locked in both confusion and sudden realization, my understanding of all that surrounded the developments between us.
"You're not making sense Nat."
I took a deep breath in. "You are so strong Neville, you fight for the things you believe in, and you are a fiercely loyal friend to those around you."
Neville smiled, looking down before the rose on his face made its appearance.
"And those are only a few of the reasons that I love you Neville Longbottom."
The honesty of my declaration for him was out in the open and I couldn't have been happier. No, I take that back. I have to take it back because there was a moment after that made me think I was flying higher. He told me he loved me. Neville Longbottom said he loved me.
After my own affirmation, Neville's head turned up to mine as I quickly finished speaking. His words followed immediately as I finished. And his response was just as genuine.
"And I love you Natalie."
I smiled.
"I love that you are so willing to defend the things and the people you feel are the most worthy. I love your more impulsive random habits.
"Random?" I questioned in mock insult.
Neville chuckled . "And I love your ability to ask a question or explain something with such chaotic detail that it can't help but make complete sense." His voice then got deeper. "And I love your heart Natalie Dietrich. I love everything about it."
The admissions that were now finally out in the open were the most fiercely honest words we'd ever spoken to each other, or anyone else for that matter. At least that was the case with me. It was the first time either of us had fully gained the courage to confess out loud the true depth of our feelings.
We sat together on the couch happy knowing the truth of everything. I crawled up onto my knees, feeling I was now too far away from the man I loved, the man who loved me, and I shifted myself over to him. I reached him and brought my face closer to his.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you too." His hands reached around, grabbing my waist, moving down to my lower back, pulling me closer until one leg was straddled to either side of him.
"I think a special place is in order for us tonight." I mentioned to him.
Within seconds, I stood up, and told the room what I wanted. Our botanical paradise was set into place around us. It was as beautiful as I'd remembered it, with one difference—perpetual twilight. The setting sun would not disappear until we were ready to give up our paradise. Neville stood, looking around as I did. We danced , held together for the first few moments, listening to the sounds around us. He sat down with his back against a tree when we finished. I sat with him, positioning myself between his legs, my back to his chest, causing his arms to wrap around my waist. I leaned my head back onto him, placing it onto his shoulder, listening to him breathe, enjoying each beat of his heart, thrumming from my back in to my chest, and out from my own heart. We were completely connected in those moments.
When his chin dropped to my shoulder, Neville let out a quieted content sigh. The peaceful surrounding and holding one another was perfect, only to grow better in my own opinion. The nuzzle of my neck with Neville's chin caught my breath in my throat. It completely threw me off my guard. I wasn't certain at the time if he was doing it on purpose, but wasn't about to let it pass without return. I shifted my head slightly as his chin then lifted.
"I'm sorry." He suddenly apologized for the brave action he'd in fact done intentionally. "I didn't think you'd mind if I…I guess I couldn't…Nat, you're so…"
Without allowing him to finish, my mouth was crushing his, and by the gods he tasted good. Familiar, like pumpkin juice and mints, which under some circumstances would seem gross, but not this time.
"Natalie.' He softly whispered into my mouth.
His arms wrapped tighter around my waist, pulling me deeper into the kiss, repositioning my body to his lap as he brought me around to face him, now straddling his lap. He broke the kiss, but never let his mouth leave my body, letting his tongue travel down my neck, across my shoulders, stopping momentarily at what he referred to as my sunlight drenched skin. His hands got lost in my hair, bringing my mouth to his again. As his mouth attached to mine again, there was a wonderful explosion of the building emotion between us. It was necessary for me at that point to pull away, breaking the physical contact we had after the lengthened period of time. We were so close and so united, our breaths ran together.
My head rolled back as his fingers ran through my hair. The feeling of his touch was electric to my skin. When my eyes met his again, the same shock hit us both, driving the surrounding passion further and further into the wild bond between us. My palms pressed to his chest while his hands ran up and down my arms. Nothing had been said yet and nothing needed to be said.
Neville leaned his head in towards mine, his forehead to mine, his eyes locked to me. Nothing and no one disturbed us.
"I love you." He repeated.
Those words, those three words are able to drive me to both sane and insane acts I've learned.
My fingers fumbled to his shirt, unbuttoning the soft off white buttons, revealing his hard chest. My hands tore off his shirt, tossing it off to the side, pushing my palms to his chest again as his hips began to grind upward into me. Without warning, our mouths were together again, and our hands were desperate to grab everywhere, every piece of each other, roaming, touching, and exploring the newness of the other.
His skin was hot to the touch, sensitive to my touch, and everything I hadn't known I could want in someone. Everything about us was both fierce and sweet all at once. Before I knew it, my concentration had returned. My own shirt had since been discarded, revealing under it the sweet tasting pieces of me that Neville enjoyed. As I heatedly unbuttoned his trousers, my skirt was in his palms, being lifted and undone all in a few swift movements. What was left of our clothing soon became non-existent as well, leaving no more to the imagination, which in my case was very vivid and eventful.
"Nat, do you think we should stop or slow down?" Neville questioned, at the most inopportune inconvenient, inappropriate time as he slid between my legs.
I looked and felt briefly hurt before realizing that he was joking. He smiled and so I smiled, unable to resist the action, desperately wanting to punch him in the arm.
"Don't you dare." I commanded him. "I will get up from here and leave."
"No you won't." He challenged.
I pressed my palms to his chest, moving half of him off of me as he pulled me back under him.
"No you won't." He said once more.
And like the oncoming storm, he was inside of me, sending off the most pleasing and pleasurable sensations, his teeth nipping my neck and shoulders, his hands holding me, moving me, and caressing me. Through both of our screams and moans of wild vivid passions, one thing stayed quiet and still. Our love.
So there it is. That is how I fell in love with Neville Longbottom. I know, I know… My story started out with I "like" Neville, but that's true too. That was how it began. I liked him very much from the start, and now I love him. I cannot imagine loving someone more true and loyal, and fantastic. And he loves me. He loves my faults, my questions, my worry, and my heart. He is the best part of anything I could or should expect to receive. I am so lucky. And now here we are, lying beside each other, about to…well, about to die.
And that brings us to the present of my story.
I intentionally did not mention this part until this very moment because I wanted to focus on the happier parts first. I found unconditional love. I found Neville.
Yes. Neville and I are facing death together. How did it happen? One word-Malfoy. The prat found out that I prefer Neville to him. He was of course having me spied on by one of his minion. I should've known better. When his suspicions were confirmed, he flaunted his raging tantrum across the school grounds. He started at the dungeons and ended near the Astronomy tower before thundering to the section of wall that our hidden escape lay behind. He waited for Neville and me.
I don't so much think he meant to kill us, but with the tension in our loud confrontation, it happened, and now I am dying. Neville is close. I can feel his reach and his hold on my hand loosening its grip to mine. I want to see him one final time, but I can't move.
I die knowing that will be my final thought. I am beside someone I love wholly. And that's it. My eyes are closing too quick. Darkness is surrounding every part of me, and despite the dark, there is a silver lining. I am at peace.
My eyes are now open after what feels like only a few minutes. The brightest white light from the ceiling of a room is blinding me, so I close my eyes again. I hear his voice. It's there, behind the light
"Don't you do this to me Natalie Dietrich. You fight." Neville is demanding of me, his words harsh and unyielding. The fear of loss shows in his tone.
I can hear people moving around, coming in and out of wherever I am. Am I alive? I died. I know I died, but I'm awake, and Neville is with me, seated so close beside me, not letting go.
"Neville?" I say.
My voice is hoarse, so it's hard for anyone but him to hear me. His eyes meet me as soon as mine open again.
"Natalie."
I can feel his touch again. One hand is held to my left, his thumb running over mine. The other is running slowly down the side of my face. The emotion and softness of his touch evokes every set emotion in me, so I can't help but l let out a soft nearly inaudible moan. My hand reaches to his straight away, not letting go. And I keep it linked as he yells for medi-witches and doctors to come immediately. The rush of people now crowding into the room is overwhelming, but keeping Neville at my side helps. He is pushed away briefly, but that only hinders my peace. I reach out and re-link our hands.
"He stays!" My voice roughly insists.
Everyone concedes to my demand only because, well, would you argue with someone who has seemingly come back from the dead? I'm told that I was near death when brought to St. Mungo's. That's where I am. The curse Malfoy hit us with was meant to kill, but the magic within the castle had weakened it only enough to keep us together long enough. You see, curses used within the castle are not only illegal, but felt through the wards, warning those who need the warnings to help. I am remembering more of the details now.
Because I shielded Neville, it was me who received the full force of the curse. I've been struggling to hang on to life for nearly a week. Neville has been by my side for three days. He woke up three days ago, immediately insisting on seeing me as soon as his eyes were open and focused.
"Miss Dietrich," one of the doctors addresses me, checking my heartbeat, and blood pressure. "What is the last thing you remember?"
I sigh, remembering the last place I'd been before my run in with Malfoy.
"I remember dancing in the most beautiful garden with Neville."
"Is she delirious?" Another witch questions from the opposite side of me.
"No, she isn't." Neville answered them. "But Natalie honey, that wasn't exactly a garden."
"It was." I tell him. "We were dancing, we were together, and when we are together, it doesn't matter where we are or who stands around us. It's always beautiful."
We've been saved. We have a real chance at exploring and strengthening our love. We have a fighting chance at life and love. And I intend to live the rest of this life beside him. I love him.
FIN!
A/N: Alrighty, I know that this isn't perfect, and it certainly is a different style for me, but I really wanted to write this one and finish it. So, I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, please tell me what you thought. And if you didn't like it, tell me why. Reviews make me very happy. Cheers.