The day is normal as it'll ever be in the Marvel Quick Stop. Spider-man & Deadpool, the only workers at the store, are having their usual sick conversation.
"Dude, that's not true." said Spider-man.
"It is so true." replied Deadpool.
"Deadpool, you can not have butt-sex with the Juggernaut and hope to live." explained Spider-man.
"Jubilee had butt sex with the Juggernaut."
"Jubilee's dead!" yelled Spider-man,"And when they found her body, her vaginal and anal areas were stretched so far apart that she died after she was buttfucked from blood loss."
"Then where's the Juggernaut?" asked Deadpool curiously.
"He's on the run from the law again." answered Spider-man.
"Then how did She-Hulk survive bu-" began Deadpool before Spider-man cuts him off by putting his hand over Deadpool's mouth.
"Don't you ever, EVER mention that horrible name!" said a scared Spider-man "Remember what she did to your sex drive."
Deadpool's face begins to scrunch up as if he's about to cry but Spider-man straightens him up by elbowing him.
"Shape up customer,customer." commanded Spider-man. The customer comes in and it turns out to be Iron Man, who now has a bright light, like the one on his chest, coming out of his liver area and he looks depressed.
"Iron Man, you're alive!" said Spider-man.
"Yeah, my liver exploded but they inserted a metallical one so I could live." explained Iron Man.
"Oh, well even with your new liver you know the rules." Spider-man pointed to a sign saying "DO NOT SELL BEER TO" with Iron Man's picture on it. Iron Man just sadly sighs.
"No, ever since my liver exploded this new thing prevents me from getting drunk. It's just not the same." Iron Man said of his painful existence without his one love. "I'll have a large coke instead."
Spider-man and Deadpool hear his story and they're trying to hold back their laughter.
"Could you-" Spider-man snickered "hold on for a second.
Spider-man and Deadpool lower themselves to where Iron Man can't see them behind the counter. They then both start laughing hysterically.
"First his liver goes BOOM!" laughed Spider-man.
"Now he can't-" Deadpool makes glugging noises "without feeling sober!"
They continue to laugh hysterically which begins to piss Iron Man off.
"WILL YOU 2 JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKING SODA!" demanded Iron Man.
They both stop laughing and stand up.
"Okay, I'll go get it for you." said Deadpool as he filled the cup at the soda fountain. "We're out of ice, I have to go get some from the back."
Deadpool goes to the back but instead of going to the freezer for ice, he goes to the bathroom and scoops some ice from the urinal. He then goes back to the counter and gives Iron Man his drink.
"That'll be 1.65." said Spider-man as Iron Man paid for his drink. The Silver Surfer then comes into the store by phasing through the wall.
"Hey Surfer." Deadpool greeted his friend. "What's on Galactus' list today?"
"His royal fatass desires moon pie, rice krispy treats, nachos, tombstone pizza, snickers, hagen-daz, and twinkies." Silver Surfer explained as he got the stuff he needed while Spider-man prepared the nachos. They then ring Surfer up.
"That all buddy?" Spider-man asked his galactic friend.
"Aren't you 2 forgetting something?" Silver Surfer questioned.
"Oh yeah!" remembered the 2 clerks as they hawked loogies into Galactus' nachos.
"Much better." said a happy Silver Surfer.
"That'll be 24.95." said Deadpool as Silver Surfer paid for his stuff and began to leave.
"Why are you friends with them?" Iron Man asked the Silver Surfer.
"They understand my pain. While they serve dozens of assholes everday, I have to bring the fattest, laziest asshole in the galaxy his food!" The Silver Surfer gets on his board to leave but before he does he scratches himself with a shelf. "Ow, damn shelves!"
The Silver Surfer flies away through the roof. Iron Man sees a piece of the Silver Surfer's skin on the floor, picks it up and studies it.
"Fascinating." said Iron Man as he examines the skin.
"Hey, you gonna stand there all day looking at a piece of skin or are you gonna drink your damn soda?" asked an annoyed Spider-man.
"I'm going, I'm going!" said an irritated Iron Man. He walks out the store and is about to drink his soda but stops himself and sighs.
"It's just not the same." said Iron Man. Instead of throwing the soda away, he sees a kid in front of him. "Hey kid, you want a free soda?" Iron Man asked, offering his dirty soda.
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own any of the characters mentioned in the story, Marvel does.