Vignette
By
Joshua Trujillo
1.2
Again, her thoughts trailed to what she and her friend bought that
afternoon. It was more than enough to make Hikari blush and she
doubted she'd ever wear it. Why had she agreed to something like
that? She didn't know. Hormones. She smirked slightly as she shot
a glance to the person next to her. The reason for those hormones.
Normally, he was all man and, unfortunately, he acted like it too.
Today though...Touji wore a tight expression. It was something
that he wore often on days like this. Ever since Mari had been hurt,
he was intensely focused on whatever he did. Perhaps that's what
originally drew her to him. That intensity was attractive, even if
Hikari was the only one to realize it. She looked around her, if
nothing else than to take her mind off the idea that she might 'jump
his bones'.
Touji had come to her home and the plan had been to visit with
Mari before her surgery. It wasn't routine surgery, but it was
something that was necessary for her to be able to someday walk
again. Touji had said something about getting something from his
place before venturing to the hospital. At first, Hikari had been a
little hesitant on heading back to Touji's place, but realized that he
meant someplace else entirely. He meant the original apartment.
The one where Mari had been injured.
Large chunks of the city had been destroyed in that battle with the
Angels and, according to Kensuke's explanation, it was just more
economical to bulldoze the rubble and start again. After the last
battle though, it seemed that most of the city was just left for ruin
and whole blocks that were in the process of being cleared were
simply left. That included the old apartment building. Hikari
sighed slightly as they came to the ruined section of the city. It all
looked so sad. Homes, apartments, grocery stores and other
businesses flattened in the wake of the Angels. Shinji had told her
what it had looked like, with a little prodding from Asuka, but
Hikari hadn't wanted to believe him. That was, until Kensuke and
Touji had seen the next one while with Shinji. He wouldn't admit
it, but Hikari knew that he had been scared. Of course, she
supposed that if she'd been face to face with a servant of God,
she'd be scared too.
Something caught her eye and Hikari looked across the broken
street. She stumbled slightly at the reflection. Their reflection
combined with the sun shining against the torn and broken
pavement, and, just for a moment, there was another vision in the
shards of the store window across the street. Touji insisted on his
black workout suit, which wasn't unusual. For today, since it was
the weekend, Hikari had chosen her new white coveralls, white
tennis shoes, and her regular white shirt. The red tie from her
school uniform was also present, as much to give her some color as
anything else. Nozomi had plopped a straw hat on her head on her
way out the door. Seeing it in the reflection, she'd have to thank
her sister later. It looked good on her. Her all, or almost all, white,
along with Touji's all black shone in that instant, in that other
vision. She almost stumbled at the thoughts that it provoked in her.
She knew she wasn't ready for marriage yet...And yet, if he were to
turn around right now and ask...?
She didn't know if she could turn him down. She was so confused.
At least he remarked on her new clothes and had the good sense to
keep his mouth shut and nod at the appropriate times. She giggled
slightly, earning a questioning glance from him. She shook her
head without looking up and they walked on. His focus returned to
the task at hand. The somber mood between them returned as well.
She couldn't blame him, really. She didn't know what she'd do if
one of her sisters had been injured. It was just so much for one
young man to bear...It tore at her heart that she couldn't help him
more. Which might have been what Asuka was thinking in helping
her get that outfit. Something to get her mind off the struggles
around her. Something that *she* could do to get his mind off the
struggles too. The outfit was just...She looked so...Wicked. THAT
was the feeling she had. She smiled a broad smile. If it was for
Touji...*maybe* she'd wear it...
Wicked. She liked that feeling. But not in public...
"Why the goofy smile?" he asked as he stared straight ahead.
A blush ran through her and she coughed slightly.
"Just..." just what? "I don't know...I'm just glad that we could be
together today. I-I'm just glad that...We'll see Mari."
He wasn't buying it. Neither was she. He didn't say anything else
though, as they continued to walk. The city rose close in the
distance. Downtown was only a couple blocks over. She tried not
to think of the vastness of space that was a distance below her.
She'd never seen it personally, but again, through Shinji, Asuka
and sometimes even Ayanami, the descriptions had fascinated her.
The whole thought of why Asuka and Shinji were needed scared
her too. Fighting on the wrong side in a holy war? But the Angels
killed innocent lives...Mari was among those that were maimed or
killed by one of the attacks. And God didn't work that way...
...did he?
They turned the corner and Touji slowed. Hikari slowed and
looked at him as they stopped in front of a huge pile of rubble.
Twisted girders and rebar stuck this way and that out of it like so
much tufted hair on a balding head. The main heap of it was
jumbled to one side, piled so that, if people climbed on it, it
wouldn't slide. Too much. A lump caught in her throat at the
thought of the building. Homes were here. And children, like Mari,
were hurt. There was just so much pain and suffering in such a
close location. Sure, she'd lived through a couple earthquakes in
her life, living in Japan, who hadn't? But, this was so much
different. This might have been prevented. Hikari shook her head.
She had no idea *how* it could've been prevented, but she was
sure it could. And that only made the whole scene that much
worse. Touji followed the line of rubble along to the south of the
building, occasionally crossing to the main pile and testing it with
his foot. He turned back to Hikari.
"Wait here for a sec'."
He climbed up the closest pile. It began to slide a little and he
grabbed hold of another bit of rebar. He kept his swearing to
himself because he knew that Hikari didn't like him swearing.
Touji took a breath and pulled himself to the top of the heap and
looked down into the hole before him. The mountain of rubble
really was like a volcano. He didn't understand about the
movement of magma or lava or whatever they called it, but he'd
seen a picture of it on tv once. The outside of the rubble was pretty
solid, but down in the hole, the movement of the layers of concrete
and metal scraped and sounded against each other, bringing an
otherworldly sound out of the hole. Touji looked back down the
mountain at Hikari. She looked so...cute...
"Stay right there, I'll be right back," he said.
And, without waiting for an answer, he jumped into the hole. His
leg caught on a piece of something and he winced in the closing
darkness. The pillows at the bottom of the hole cushioned his
landing and he felt his leg absently. Just a scratch, but it'd tell the
damned nurses where he'd been. Touji searched around for a few
minutes and began to get worried. Being in absolute darkness
didn't frighten him, nor did the fact that there was a hundred tons
of shifting rubble over him. Not being able to find what he'd put
down there was another thing. No one really knew about this place.
It wasn't really his, but when Mari had been hurt, Touji had come
back to the apartment and tried to salvage everything he could.
Everybody'd thought he'd run away because of getting yelled at by
the NERV agents. He'd laughed at that. Nah, he'd been trapped in
here for two days, but then, it was like a maze. There were
passages through the rubble and they changed every day. He'd
finally found his way back to the old entrance to the apartment
building and found that the basement had stabilized. Most of the
rubble had been pushed off to one side and what remained hid the
entrance. So Touji had set up a little repository of what was left of
their lives. He had a few things that he'd been able to scrounge for
Mari. His own, small collection of manga. His prized basketball,
signed by Bill Lambier. A few other things that he couldn't easily
carry back without attracting attention as to the source. Looters
weren't common, but he wasn't taking any chances.
Touji found the little maglite and turned it on, shining it toward the
support beams along one wall. They looked like they were
buckling more than normal and he thought they wouldn't make it
one or two more trips. Might not even make it with him climbing
out again...But he'd try anyway. Maybe he could get Shinji to bring
over his Eva and get his stuff out. Touji smiled at the thought.
Shinji's father would freak at that request...Maybe he'd make it
anyway. Touji shook himself out of his revelry and shone the
flashlight around. He found what he needed and turned the light off
again and thought a minute. He might as well take it with him
while he could. Touji made his way back out and slowed as the
pile shifted again. He blinked in the light as he reached the surface
and looked around. Hikari stood a little way to his right. He swore
to himself again, he took the wrong way out. Ah well.
"Okay, let's go," he said as he approached her.
She jumped and held a hand to her chest.
"Dammit, Touji! Don't scare me like that!" she took a breath,
"How'd you come out here if you went in up *there*?"
"Magic," he tossed her something, "This's what I went in for..."
She caught the multicolored object and turned it over in her hands.
The thing had a rough, hourglass shaped and quite soft. Four
stumps jutted from each of the bulbous sides and Hikari couldn't
help smiling at the one button eye and the two ragged ears of the
teddy bear.
"It's Mari's favorite bear," he said softly, "I figured that she'd need
something like that to cheer her up. For this...operation..."
He coughed once. He watched her fascination with the little bear
and made a decision. Maybe she'd like one for herself. Of course,
he'd never tell anyone that he was the one that made that bear for
Mari. No one really *needed* to know. It was something that he
used to do with his hands on those long nights when Mari had
already gone to bed and his dad was nowhere in sight. With his
father off doing jobs, Touji had found odd ways to amuse himself.
Sewing was one of them and he'd have to admit that he was pretty
good. He just wouldn't admit it openly. It wasn't really a guy thing
to do, after all. He looked back to the rubble. Mari used to play on
the swing set out front, where now a huge slab of material lay.
There used to be a turtle that the kids once played on. It's head now
stuck out from underneath one edge of the slab, looking trapped,
wishing for some release from the pains of a burden too
heavy...The whole thing made him sick every time he came. It only
served to remind him of what he'd lost...And how lucky he was
that Mari was still alive...Hikari touched his shoulder.
"You hurt your leg..."
He nodded.
"I'm gonna get it when the nurses see it," he relied, "They told me
that it was too dangerous to come out here anymore. But I thought
that Mari'd like that. So I came."
Hikari smiled and brushed off the bear's belly, revealing a red
cross that'd been stitched there.
"Mari called him Dr. Ruffles because of the red cross and because
of the cut of the ears," he pointed out.
Hikari smiled up at him and he blushed. He turned away toward
the exit and shoved his hands into his pockets. Hikari was so
confounding to him sometimes. She seemed just cute sometimes
and then, when she smiled at him like that...he had other feelings
surface...And he had no idea what to make of them. Hikari brushed
up next to him and smiled sidelong at him, Mari's bear under her
arm. It stared out at him as they began to walk to the hospital and
seemed to wink at him. He *really* had to get that other eye sewn
back on. He coughed slightly and tried to focus on walking, instead
of on the feelings that she generated in him.
Hikari watched the pavement blend gradually from the broken kind
of the apartment buildings, to the local businesses that tried to get
near the disaster area, then to the rebuilt buildings. She looked up
as the hospital came into view. She'd always hated hospitals
because of the smell. That antiseptic smell that told your senses
that, if it wasn't there, they'd be assailed by something far less
pleasant. She didn't like that thought either, so she tried to
concentrate on having a happier mood for Touji and Mari. The
building was white. That didn't really surprise Hikari, though she
somehow expected it to be marked. One side of it looked damaged
from the same attack that hurt Mari. So much had happened that
night...So suddenly...
On the fourth floor, they found Mari's room and had to wait
outside while the doctors and nurses prepped her for her surgery.
"What's this surgery for again?" she asked, trying to be
conversational.
"Her spine..." Touji said absently, "I don't get the whole thing, but
they have to go real slow as they rebuild her spine. That just means
there's gonna be lots of surgeries..."
"Excuse me, Mr. Suzuhara?"
Touji looked up at the blonde nurse.
"Is that Dr. Ruffles?"
She was pointing to the bear in Hikari's hands. Hikari passed it to
him.
"Uh, yeah, it-How did you-?"
"Mari told us that you were going to get it for her," she laughed,
"She didn't tell us exactly *where* you were going, but we had a
good idea..."
She pointed to the tear in his workout pants. He nodded sullenly,
the bear looking out at the nurse from his lap.
"Come on," the nurse sighed, "Give me Dr. Ruffles so he can detox
and I'll get one of the younger nurses to check that cut for tetanus,
okay?"
"Why...Um...Younger...?" Hikari left her question unasked.
The nurse laughed.
"Well, he's SUCH a stud..." she laughed again, "It's because us
*older* nurses tend to stick him a little too hard with the needle.
You must be Horaki-san."
"Yes, I am," Hikari smiled despite herself as she stood and bowed.
"Mari's told us all about her brother's girlfriend," she smirked as
Touji squirmed, "And I have to say that she was right about you
being very pretty. Now, come on young man, let's get that leg
looked at. Horaki-san, you can go on in and see Mari-chan."
Touji finished blushing his ears off and nodded slowly, handing
Dr. Ruffles to the nurse. She waved goodbye to Hikari and led
Touji to a room down the hall. Hikari watched him walk off and
smiled slightly. Now, to talk to Mari about her brother being her
boyfriend. She smiled stupidly to herself as she walked in the
room. It wouldn't be that she'd really mind that, but to talk to a
complete stranger-
Hikari stopped. Mari had her eyes closed and an oxygen hood
covered her. Hikari understood that the pure oxygen helped with
the surgery, but the whole thing still made her shiver. The
machines around her beeped an obscene theme against the solemn
silence of the room and Hikari held her arms close to her. The
sides of the oxygen hood flared lightly with every small breath
from the little girl. Hikari wanted to cry. She'd never seen someone
so...She couldn't vocalize how fragile the young girl looked to her
then. A thought struck her as she realized that the nurse, to Mari,
wasn't a complete stranger. In fact, she probably knew the nurse
better now than her own brother and that tore at Hikari's heart. She
took a breath against her feelings and stepped up next to the bed.
Mari opened her eyes and grimaced slightly as she turned her head.
"'Onee-chan," she said lightly, "Is 'nii-san with ya'?"
Hikari couldn't speak, but nodded. She swallowed and spoke.
"He poked himself at the old apartment building and they had to
take him off to check for tetanus."
Mari smiled weakly.
"He's not s'posed ta' go back there..." she sighed, "He knows
that..."
"He got Dr. Ruffles..."
She smiled.
"Yeah," she said, "The nurse tol' me. They also said that I'd be
going into surgery soon."
"That's right," Hikari tried to cheer up, "It's so you can walk
again..."
A lump caught in her throat and she felt like she wanted to cry. She
was saved as Touji stumbled into the room.
"Onii-san!" Mari chirped brightly.
Touji came to her side and held her hand under the oxygen hood.
Touji was silent as Mari went on about her day and the gossip
she'd gleaned from the nurses. She thought that she'd seen Mari's
real face when she came into the room without Touji, but perhaps
it was this Mari, this bubbly, bright little girl who held onto her
brother's hand with all her might. Hikari went on autopilot. She
could hear the conversation as it went on, but didn't really hear it.
This little girl had suffered so much in her short time and yet she
put on a good face for her brother so that he wouldn't have to
worry. How could Mari, who looked so frail, have such strength?
Hikari tried to imagine being in that kind of situation and doubt
began to cloud her. It was so harsh a reality that she couldn't bear
to think about...Touji.
What would become of them if something ever happened to Touji?
What if he was injured in another Angel attack? Would she have
the strength to come in and be all smiles and hugs and...The
thought of Touji in the hospital hurt. It hurt worse than seeing Mari
like that. She loved him. That much she was fairly certain of,
but...She didn't know. She didn't know if she was strong enough...
The nurse knocked at the door a couple minutes later.
"It's time, Mari-chan."
Mari nodded sadly as she turned to her brother.
"You'll be fine, Mari..." he choked.
Several interns filed in and began to wheel the whole bed out
toward the operating room. Hikari blew her a little kiss as Mari
waved goodbye. Hikari turned to her beau as they followed them
out into the hallway. His eyes were still on the far door as it swung
closed, but his face said that he was far away. While she didn't
think she could ever condone violence, she could understand now
why Shinji got the brunt end of Touji's anger when all this
happened. Certainly, it hadn't been his fault, but without an outlet,
this kind of pain only ate at a person. Now that he could talk to
Shinji and, she wanted to add, herself, he had someplace he could
release that pain. At least, that's how it was supposed to be.
"Kensuke'll be here in a couple hours," Touji said abruptly.
He turned to her.
"You wanna get some fresh air while we can?"
She nodded slightly. She knew what he meant. Ever since the
Angel attacks began again, there was a curfew. As Hikari knew it,
it only applied to those people not with NERV. Maybe it was just
for the adolescents? She didn't really know. Like so many other
things in this city, the rules were rather vague. She followed Touji
to the elevator and he punched the button for the top floor. Perhaps
he wanted to get to the roof and get a view of sunset?
Perhaps it was just wishful thinking that he might, Hikari chided
herself.
This was Touji she was thinking about. Still, this was also the same
Touji that went to great lengths to get a teddy bear for his sister.
This was the same Touji that wanted, even *asked*, her to come
along to see Mari. The doors of the elevator opened and Hikari
tried to hide her smirk. The hospital, absent of any other room in
the facility, had moved the rehab-workout room to the roof.
Standing in the middle of the area was a single basketball hoop. It
didn't have a full net and a black scar told the onlooker that,
apparently, the Angels got game too. Touji gently heaved the set of
barbells off the court and went back to get the ball. Hikari shuffled
onto the court and waited for him. The rhythmic thump of the
basketball on the hard surface said that he hadn't come up to play a
pick-up game.
He shot the ball absently, not looking and not caring if it went in.
Hikari got the rebound and passed it back to him. It was almost
that the dribbling and shooting were nervous ticks that he couldn't
shake. She knew that the whole surgery issue weighed on him and
she was waiting for him to open up. She didn't want to scare him
off by asking, but, like "real" men, he didn't seem to want to open
up to her about his feelings either.
*Swish* and she passed the ball back to him again.
"You wanna talk about it?" she ventured.
Touji shook his head and shot the ball. She passed the ball back
and he stopped. His face grew taut and hard. The setting sun cast a
red shadow across the court. Touji looked out to the sun, as if
praying that the elder gods of earth would hear him. And have pity,
if not on him, then on his sister. Hikari moved to stand next to him.
His skin glowed a tanned auburn in the light. Hikari wondered that
she could see him much older in that instant, the hair a little grayer,
the wrinkles a little more noticeable, but still with that firm jaw
and tight, steel eyes. She drew a hand absently up to her mouth as a
tear rolled down his cheek.
"Touji..."
He looked at her and turned quickly away, not wanting the
embarrassment of tears to show. She held his arm, wanting him to
know that she was near, but he drew away from her.
"Touji..." she said again, "Please tell me what's wrong? Is it about
Mari?"
He only nodded. He dribbled the ball once. Twice. His shoulders
shuddered as he tried to hold in the tears. He tried everything he
could. He counted backward, but it was only a countdown to a
death knell. He tried dribbling the ball, but couldn't see and didn't
want to go all the way to the street again to get it. A sob burst in
his throat as he wiped at his eyes. It was too much...Just too
much...
"The...The doctors..." he said between sobs, "Mari has less chance
of...Living...Than if she'd just remained like she was."
The final confirmation from his own voice broke the barrier that
held the rest of his emotions in check. The ball dropped away,
forgotten. He didn't want to cry and had hoped that Hikari wouldn't
have followed him to the roof, but somehow he knew better. This
was something he wanted to share, painful as it was. She touched
his arm again. He didn't resist her efforts to turn him toward her,
his own masculine nature thrown to the wind, for his love of Mari.
He was startled as she enfolded him in an embrace of her own,
firm and yet soft.
"Hikari," he whispered as tears began to fall again, "I'm sorry...I-"
Hikari hushed him as she rubbed his back.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, okay?"
He pulled back from her slightly.
"I'm the reason that Mari wanted to continue with the operations,"
he murmured, "She wanted..."
He took a breath.
"She wanted to be able to beat me in basketball..."
He held Hikari tighter as more tears fell and Hikari felt her own
tears escape. Of course. Like brother, like sister. She smiled a
gentle smile as she realized it could never be any other way. She
shook her head to herself. In that moment she realized, she was the
one thing that neither Shinji nor Kensuke, as friends, could be. She
promised herself that she would always be there for him, no matter
what. Touji needed her and dammit, she'd be there!
His sobs settled and he pulled back. He dug into his pocket and
pulled out an old washcloth. Hikari gave him a questioning look
and he shrugged.
"It's from the apartment," he said as he wiped his eyes with it,
"Um, Hikari?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you...Um...I mean..."
"Not tell anyone?"
"Uh, yeah," he said quite softly.
She smiled and nodded.
"Yeah," she sighed as she folded her arms, "I think I'm sensitive
enough not to go blurting stuff out."
They both chuckled at this and Touji looked at her.
"Thanks..."
She bent over and picked up the ball. She began dribbling the ball
as a smile lilted across her freckled face.
"Touji," she said, "If you're gonna teach Mari about basketball,
then you need to be a lot better yourself."
She laughed as she crossed the basketball over to her other hand in
front of him and laid it up to the rim. She bounced happily and
picked the ball up again as he stood there, his mouth wide. She
passed it back to him. He chuckled as she batted her eyes at him,
the way Asuka taught her to. He smiled, took a deep breath and
began to dribble again. Hikari walked slowly to him and, at the last
instant, crouched down in a defensive stance, taking a couple swats
at the ball. Touji laughed as he kept it from her grasp. He dribbled
in to her defense, which he had to admit was better than Kensuke's
or even Shinji's (when he was able to get either of them to play)
and Shinji had good D. Hikari swatted the ball away, but Touji
recovered, turned and shot a perfect jumper. NOW, he could
relax...
Hikari turned as the ball sailed over her head and into the hoop.
She smiled and picked up the ball, taking it back to beyond the arc.
She liked the fire that Touji had in his eyes as she dribbled closer
and closer to the hoop. It was almost like, in that moment, he was
alive, truly alive. She smiled again. That was the Touji that she
always remembered. The confident boy-man who showed strength
to those around him, but was truly gentle underneath. That was the
Touji she would always know and that was the Touji that she fell
in love with. Heck, for that Touji, she even learned how to play
basketball...She pulled back to the three point line and drained it.
Touji shook his head as he retrieved the ball. She was a much
better shooter than he was, and her defense was great, if a little
unrefined. Maybe...Maybe she'd wanna play with him again?
Perhaps when things weren't so stressful? He didn't know, but he
*would* like the practice. He saw her eyes flicker to another
corner of the little court and she stopped guarding him. She stood
up straight and that school demeanor washed over her face. He
frowned. He liked that other Hikari better...He looked across the
court and frowned more at the sight of a familiar lens pointed at
him. Touji straightened and raised an eyebrow at Kensuke.
"Well, come on," Kensuke said, "Keep playing! You're pretty
good, class rep...For a girl, I mean..."
"Ha! She'd whip both you and Shinji..." Touji barked, "And her
name is Hikari. And you had better just've been filmin' the game..."
Touji growled slightly as Hikari looked on. She realized with a
blush what he meant and smiled to herself. The glowing dusk of
the sun covered the blood in her cheeks, for the most part, at least.
Kensuke straightened and stopped filming.
"Yeah," he said questioningly, "I just got here and you two were
playing...Why?"
Hikari giggled.
"Uh...Nuthin'," Touji stammered, "Jus' forget about it."
"Uhokay, Touji," Kensuke smiled, "Don't we need to get inside
anyway, with the sun going down?"
"Yeah," Hikari said, "Curfew, ya' know..."
Touji nodded as he followed the two back to the elevator, which
chimed happily as its door opened.
"Whaddya' wanna do now?" he asked.
Kensuke shrugged as Hikari thought for a moment. The sun broke
through the last of the clouds that threatened Tokyo-3 and blood
red shafts of light were thrown across the landscape. It was a
somber sunset that she wanted to escape. Perhaps the
administrators of the city were right in making a curfew, just so the
children wouldn't have to see this...
"How about the cafeteria?" she sighed as they stepped into the
elevator, "I could use a bite to eat."
"Sounds great," Touji nodded happily.
Kensuke explained about his recent hacking attempts at NERV on
the way to the cafeteria. Hikari half-listened, more intent on Touji's
general mood than his friend's best attempts at gaining Mad
Hacker Skills...The elevator binged again and they walked down
the short hallway to the cafeteria, following the smell of something
in gravy. The cafeteria itself wasn't very large and she noticed that
a few of the people eating there wore the NERV insignia on their
jackets, or shirts. Were they visiting their own family members?
Why weren't those people moved to the hospitals in the Geofront?
Didn't they take care of their own? Anger welled up at the
thought...If they thought so little of their own personnel, what did
they think of one little girl who may never walk again? Kensuke's
jibe at the quality of the food calmed her some, but she still held a
layer of anger at the thought that NERV simply didn't care.
"What's wrong?"
Hikari, startled by the tone, was even more startled to hear it
coming out of Touji.
"I...Uh..Nothing," she lied, "It's okay...Just something I've been
thinking about."
They made their way to a spare table near a television that'd been
left on, the channel turned to something from America. Baseball.
Hikari could get into basketball, for the pace of the game and for
Touji, but baseball was just too slow to capture much interest in
her. She ate her slop, such as it was and grimaced at the lime green
gelatin-thing that wiggled a little *too* much. Kensuke noticed her
grimace at the jello and poked his experimentally while Touji
watched the game. The Cubs were still losing.
"Ya' know what?" Kensuke finally intoned, "I think this stuff really
isn't jello..."
"What is it, then?" Touji asked, a smirk on his face.
"It's the stuff that NERV had to clean up from that one Angel,"
Kensuke said, making it wiggle at them, "Like...I don't
know...Angel innards, or something."
"I *was* going to eat that, you know..." Hikari pushed hers away.
"If you don't want yours..." Touji asked.
"Sure," she said with a smile, "Go ahead and have my Angel
Innards."
They laughed as Touji happily scooped away at the gelatinous
mass.
"May be innards," he said as he finished, "But they're pretty good."
"Hey, maybe that's what NERV oughta do," Kensuke said, "Just
give Touji a fork and let'm go!"
All three shared a laugh as Touji got up.
"Excuse me, I gotta...Well...Ya' know..."
Hikari watched him as he wandered off to find the bathroom.
Kensuke watched the baseball game, but poked at what was left of
his food. He sighed and looked at a loss around Hikari.
"Um," she began tentatively, "I really appreciate you coming down
to see Touji."
"It's no big deal for me, really," Kensuke shrugged, "Touji may be
tough on the outside, but I understand how Mari's operation is
really doing a number on him on the inside. And besides, he's my
friend."
"I just mean that I appreciate you helping to try and cheer him up,"
she said, "That's real kind..."
Kensuke smiled, a hand at the back of his head.
"It's nothing..." he said, "He and Shinji are really the only friends
I've got and I don't want either of them to be sad. That's hard to fix
with Shinji, but not with Touji. I'm not going to lose any of my
friends, if I can help it...Not even Asuka."
Hikari nodded slightly. At least he was here for the right reasons...
"What about the she-witch?" Touji idly commented as he sat back
down.
"She...Witch...?" Hikari almost choked.
"Uh-oh," Kensuke muttered.
"Uh, Hikari-" Touji stammered, realizing finally who he sat next
to, "It's...Um..It's just a...Well, nickname...You know..."
"Touji!" she barked, "She's my BEST friend!"
"Yeah, well she calls me and Kensuke and Shinji Stooges," he
fired back, "How do you think that makes us feel?"
Hikari was taken aback by the logic of it. From Touji, no less.
"I...I don't think we ever realized..." she calmed.
"Look," Touji said calmly, "I know that you both don't mean
anything by it. Just know that, if Kensuke or I say something like
that, we don't mean anything by it either...Shinji has a right to say
stuff like that because he lives with her. We don't. Okay?"
Hikari nods quietly.
"I'm sorry, Hikari," Touji said softly, "To be honest, I'm really not
too fond of her as a person, but I think I understand her
sometimes..."
Kensuke nodded and poked at his jello again.
"It's okay, Touji," she smiled again, "I just never knew."
She wondered at him again. It was like he had thought the problem
through. And while that's what a person is *supposed* to do, it
rarely happens. It had been also most unexpected in a person like
Touji and, while it may be due to the fact that he wasn't too quick
(and therefore HAD to think everything out), she preferred to
believe that it was because he truly wasn't all muscle. Kensuke
remained quiet as they threw their trash away and slipped upstairs
to the waiting area outside surgery. An ever-present television sat
in the corner, blaring out news from around the globe. There had
been an accident in the Gulf of America, near the ruins of St.
Louis. Apparently, a fishing troller collided with a submerged
building and went down. Damned stupid Americans. Didn't they
have the same, high-res maps that he did? Couldn't they tell the
difference between open water and a submerged building?
Kensuke sighed and blamed their public education system.
The Middle East, or what was left of it, was still at war with one
another. That bothered him. The Israeli's, along with much of the
coastal nations of the world, had been wiped from the map after
Second Impact. The ones that were left quickly claimed the area
south and eventually came to control the Sinai. That left them in a
strategic place of power in the region and the other governments
relented to their requests. Kensuke felt it was extortion, plain and
simple, but none of them could argue against the Israel's military
might, especially dug in as they were.
Efforts were underway in the Saharan Sea to excavate and drain a
part of it for archaeological purposes. Apparently, someone had
gotten bright enough to use sonic resonance to image through the
sand to find the ancient library buried in the Sahara. It was a shame
that they hadn't thought of it sooner though because many of the
documents would probably now be lost because of the water.
Maybe there was some way to save them still...Kensuke didn't
know...
Kensuke sat back in the lounge chair and looked across the tiny
waiting room to Touji. He tried to look comfortable around the
class rep-
Hikari. Touji'd actually chided him for not using her name. Hikari.
Maybe he felt the same way for her that she seemed to feel for
him. Certainly, Touji'd never choose to cry on *his* shoulder, but
then, Kensuke supposed that was better, really. He wouldn't know
what to say. Yeah, he'd seen the whole thing, but he'd never tell
Touji. There was no need to tell him. Sure, if Touji ever found out,
he'd be mad for a while, then when he thought about it, he'd realize
that Kensuke'd never said anything about it. That was how Touji
was. He'd get mad for a while, then think about things and get over
it. Kensuke thought that it was what happened when one had a
little sister, especially one as sharp as Mari. The girl acted stupid
and childish sometimes, she WAS a child after all, but Kensuke
was amazed at her ability to remember hundreds of names and
people and events and everything. And in absolute detail too. It
wasn't just memory either, she'd actually *learned*...
She was also the rock of Touji's life, and that was something that
was hard for Kensuke to understand. Perhaps when he was older
and girls didn't think he was weird anymore, maybe he'd
understand better how someone, some single one person, could
become so important. Because, he tried to wonder how Touji
would be without Mari, and shuddered. Sometimes, Touji scared
him, but he doubted that was intentional. It was just Touji. But
Touji wasn't like Shinji. Mari had always been there and losing her
would be a devastating blow to him.
Hikari came back from the restroom and took a seat next to Touji.
He seemed somewhat uncomfortable with her that near, but with
her smile, he eased into being there. Kensuke sighed. It was okay
then, for Touji to have someone whose shoulder he could cry on,
because that was something that he'd never let Kensuke provide.
He'd DO it, if Touji ever wanted, but Touji was too macho to ask.
Shinji would do it too, but again, Touji'd never ask. So, while
Hikari could be an emotional base, he and Shinji would still always
be his friends. Because that's what really mattered...Friendship.
Touji watched from across the room as Kensuke nodded off. He
had an odd smile on his face, but at least he wasn't that high strung
today. The blonde nurse from earlier came back a couple hours
later.
"You three should really just go home," she said softly, "We know
about the curfew and can get you all rides home. I just think that
you'd be more comfortable in your own beds and Mari might not
be out of surgery yet for quite a while..."
"I'll wait," Touji said firmly, "I wanna be here for Mari, no matter
what...And I wanna be here...Just in case..."
Touji felt a squeeze at his arm as Hikari wrapped her arm around
his.
"And I want to be here with Touji, if it's all right?" she asked
quietly.
"Me too," Kensuke said as he adjusted his glasses.
The nurse smiled at the show of friendship and spoke quietly to
another nurse, who came up with a chart of something. The blonde
nurse turned back to the group.
"You three haven't made any trouble," she said, "So, I suppose it'd
be okay."
"Thank you," Touji said with a smile.
"Just try to relax, okay?" she said, ruffling his hair, "Mari-chan's in
good hands."
He nodded somberly as he ran his hand through his hair. The night
ran on, shaking it's dark fist at the little human lights burning in the
hearts of those below. Kensuke was out. He'd finally relented to
sleep sometime past eleven and didn't even wake when the nurses
propped a pillow under his head and a blanket across his shoulders.
Touji smiled gently. Kensuke didn't HAVE to be here. But there he
was, snoring in time to an old rerun of the Tonight Show. Touji
snorted softly to himself. People twenty years ago were SO
deformed...Touji just stared at Leno's chin. Hikari had cuddled
against his side, propping her head on his shoulder. He thought
about saying something, but then realized that he rather enjoyed
the attention, even if it was as a piece of furniture. He snorted
again. That sounded like something Shinji might have said...She
had her head tilted down slightly and he couldn't tell if she was
awake or not, but she hadn't moved in a while, so he assumed she'd
gone off like Kensuke.
It was okay. He smiled. He didn't mind. He shifted his arm out
from under her head and slipped it around her shoulder, drawing
her into him. He reached down and pulled the blanket up around
her shoulders so that no one would have to see that he was holding
her or some junk like that. She sighed heavily and Touji smiled. He
liked the feeling of her next to him.
It was comfortable...
Hikari thanked God that she had the blanket around her shoulders
at the moment for the blush that had captured her face. Probably
the rest of her as well. Not to mention the silly-assed grin that
HAD to be plastered on her face, but that was really okay too. She
sobered slightly as thoughts from earlier in the evening came back
to her. How could she have thought like that for someone as sweet
and obviously loving as Touji? How could she think that, if he
were ever injured, she'd simply give him up? How could she? She
felt slightly ill that she could ever think like that. She knew it was
just fear behind her thoughts, but it still sickened her. It wouldn't
matter. She loved him. If he were a flaming gay quadriplegic, she'd
still...Well, okay, maybe not the gay part...But that was neither
here nor there! She'll stand by him. No matter what.
No matter what.
Hikari closed her eyes and let the warmth of his arm around her
lull her thoughts to the ease of sleep. Touji smiled as the channels
switched on the television...The satellite was coming up on the
American stations for the day and the reruns would stop. Hikari
snuggled closer, which he thought was impossible. Kensuke snored
lightly from across the room. The lights finally turned low and
Touji tried to make himself comfortable. He smiled at Kensuke.
The friend he always wanted. And never wanted. And Hikari...A
friend he could...Love...?
He didn't think he really understood what that meant yet, but he
wouldn't mind finding out...After all...
Friendship is everything.
By
Joshua Trujillo
1.2
Again, her thoughts trailed to what she and her friend bought that
afternoon. It was more than enough to make Hikari blush and she
doubted she'd ever wear it. Why had she agreed to something like
that? She didn't know. Hormones. She smirked slightly as she shot
a glance to the person next to her. The reason for those hormones.
Normally, he was all man and, unfortunately, he acted like it too.
Today though...Touji wore a tight expression. It was something
that he wore often on days like this. Ever since Mari had been hurt,
he was intensely focused on whatever he did. Perhaps that's what
originally drew her to him. That intensity was attractive, even if
Hikari was the only one to realize it. She looked around her, if
nothing else than to take her mind off the idea that she might 'jump
his bones'.
Touji had come to her home and the plan had been to visit with
Mari before her surgery. It wasn't routine surgery, but it was
something that was necessary for her to be able to someday walk
again. Touji had said something about getting something from his
place before venturing to the hospital. At first, Hikari had been a
little hesitant on heading back to Touji's place, but realized that he
meant someplace else entirely. He meant the original apartment.
The one where Mari had been injured.
Large chunks of the city had been destroyed in that battle with the
Angels and, according to Kensuke's explanation, it was just more
economical to bulldoze the rubble and start again. After the last
battle though, it seemed that most of the city was just left for ruin
and whole blocks that were in the process of being cleared were
simply left. That included the old apartment building. Hikari
sighed slightly as they came to the ruined section of the city. It all
looked so sad. Homes, apartments, grocery stores and other
businesses flattened in the wake of the Angels. Shinji had told her
what it had looked like, with a little prodding from Asuka, but
Hikari hadn't wanted to believe him. That was, until Kensuke and
Touji had seen the next one while with Shinji. He wouldn't admit
it, but Hikari knew that he had been scared. Of course, she
supposed that if she'd been face to face with a servant of God,
she'd be scared too.
Something caught her eye and Hikari looked across the broken
street. She stumbled slightly at the reflection. Their reflection
combined with the sun shining against the torn and broken
pavement, and, just for a moment, there was another vision in the
shards of the store window across the street. Touji insisted on his
black workout suit, which wasn't unusual. For today, since it was
the weekend, Hikari had chosen her new white coveralls, white
tennis shoes, and her regular white shirt. The red tie from her
school uniform was also present, as much to give her some color as
anything else. Nozomi had plopped a straw hat on her head on her
way out the door. Seeing it in the reflection, she'd have to thank
her sister later. It looked good on her. Her all, or almost all, white,
along with Touji's all black shone in that instant, in that other
vision. She almost stumbled at the thoughts that it provoked in her.
She knew she wasn't ready for marriage yet...And yet, if he were to
turn around right now and ask...?
She didn't know if she could turn him down. She was so confused.
At least he remarked on her new clothes and had the good sense to
keep his mouth shut and nod at the appropriate times. She giggled
slightly, earning a questioning glance from him. She shook her
head without looking up and they walked on. His focus returned to
the task at hand. The somber mood between them returned as well.
She couldn't blame him, really. She didn't know what she'd do if
one of her sisters had been injured. It was just so much for one
young man to bear...It tore at her heart that she couldn't help him
more. Which might have been what Asuka was thinking in helping
her get that outfit. Something to get her mind off the struggles
around her. Something that *she* could do to get his mind off the
struggles too. The outfit was just...She looked so...Wicked. THAT
was the feeling she had. She smiled a broad smile. If it was for
Touji...*maybe* she'd wear it...
Wicked. She liked that feeling. But not in public...
"Why the goofy smile?" he asked as he stared straight ahead.
A blush ran through her and she coughed slightly.
"Just..." just what? "I don't know...I'm just glad that we could be
together today. I-I'm just glad that...We'll see Mari."
He wasn't buying it. Neither was she. He didn't say anything else
though, as they continued to walk. The city rose close in the
distance. Downtown was only a couple blocks over. She tried not
to think of the vastness of space that was a distance below her.
She'd never seen it personally, but again, through Shinji, Asuka
and sometimes even Ayanami, the descriptions had fascinated her.
The whole thought of why Asuka and Shinji were needed scared
her too. Fighting on the wrong side in a holy war? But the Angels
killed innocent lives...Mari was among those that were maimed or
killed by one of the attacks. And God didn't work that way...
...did he?
They turned the corner and Touji slowed. Hikari slowed and
looked at him as they stopped in front of a huge pile of rubble.
Twisted girders and rebar stuck this way and that out of it like so
much tufted hair on a balding head. The main heap of it was
jumbled to one side, piled so that, if people climbed on it, it
wouldn't slide. Too much. A lump caught in her throat at the
thought of the building. Homes were here. And children, like Mari,
were hurt. There was just so much pain and suffering in such a
close location. Sure, she'd lived through a couple earthquakes in
her life, living in Japan, who hadn't? But, this was so much
different. This might have been prevented. Hikari shook her head.
She had no idea *how* it could've been prevented, but she was
sure it could. And that only made the whole scene that much
worse. Touji followed the line of rubble along to the south of the
building, occasionally crossing to the main pile and testing it with
his foot. He turned back to Hikari.
"Wait here for a sec'."
He climbed up the closest pile. It began to slide a little and he
grabbed hold of another bit of rebar. He kept his swearing to
himself because he knew that Hikari didn't like him swearing.
Touji took a breath and pulled himself to the top of the heap and
looked down into the hole before him. The mountain of rubble
really was like a volcano. He didn't understand about the
movement of magma or lava or whatever they called it, but he'd
seen a picture of it on tv once. The outside of the rubble was pretty
solid, but down in the hole, the movement of the layers of concrete
and metal scraped and sounded against each other, bringing an
otherworldly sound out of the hole. Touji looked back down the
mountain at Hikari. She looked so...cute...
"Stay right there, I'll be right back," he said.
And, without waiting for an answer, he jumped into the hole. His
leg caught on a piece of something and he winced in the closing
darkness. The pillows at the bottom of the hole cushioned his
landing and he felt his leg absently. Just a scratch, but it'd tell the
damned nurses where he'd been. Touji searched around for a few
minutes and began to get worried. Being in absolute darkness
didn't frighten him, nor did the fact that there was a hundred tons
of shifting rubble over him. Not being able to find what he'd put
down there was another thing. No one really knew about this place.
It wasn't really his, but when Mari had been hurt, Touji had come
back to the apartment and tried to salvage everything he could.
Everybody'd thought he'd run away because of getting yelled at by
the NERV agents. He'd laughed at that. Nah, he'd been trapped in
here for two days, but then, it was like a maze. There were
passages through the rubble and they changed every day. He'd
finally found his way back to the old entrance to the apartment
building and found that the basement had stabilized. Most of the
rubble had been pushed off to one side and what remained hid the
entrance. So Touji had set up a little repository of what was left of
their lives. He had a few things that he'd been able to scrounge for
Mari. His own, small collection of manga. His prized basketball,
signed by Bill Lambier. A few other things that he couldn't easily
carry back without attracting attention as to the source. Looters
weren't common, but he wasn't taking any chances.
Touji found the little maglite and turned it on, shining it toward the
support beams along one wall. They looked like they were
buckling more than normal and he thought they wouldn't make it
one or two more trips. Might not even make it with him climbing
out again...But he'd try anyway. Maybe he could get Shinji to bring
over his Eva and get his stuff out. Touji smiled at the thought.
Shinji's father would freak at that request...Maybe he'd make it
anyway. Touji shook himself out of his revelry and shone the
flashlight around. He found what he needed and turned the light off
again and thought a minute. He might as well take it with him
while he could. Touji made his way back out and slowed as the
pile shifted again. He blinked in the light as he reached the surface
and looked around. Hikari stood a little way to his right. He swore
to himself again, he took the wrong way out. Ah well.
"Okay, let's go," he said as he approached her.
She jumped and held a hand to her chest.
"Dammit, Touji! Don't scare me like that!" she took a breath,
"How'd you come out here if you went in up *there*?"
"Magic," he tossed her something, "This's what I went in for..."
She caught the multicolored object and turned it over in her hands.
The thing had a rough, hourglass shaped and quite soft. Four
stumps jutted from each of the bulbous sides and Hikari couldn't
help smiling at the one button eye and the two ragged ears of the
teddy bear.
"It's Mari's favorite bear," he said softly, "I figured that she'd need
something like that to cheer her up. For this...operation..."
He coughed once. He watched her fascination with the little bear
and made a decision. Maybe she'd like one for herself. Of course,
he'd never tell anyone that he was the one that made that bear for
Mari. No one really *needed* to know. It was something that he
used to do with his hands on those long nights when Mari had
already gone to bed and his dad was nowhere in sight. With his
father off doing jobs, Touji had found odd ways to amuse himself.
Sewing was one of them and he'd have to admit that he was pretty
good. He just wouldn't admit it openly. It wasn't really a guy thing
to do, after all. He looked back to the rubble. Mari used to play on
the swing set out front, where now a huge slab of material lay.
There used to be a turtle that the kids once played on. It's head now
stuck out from underneath one edge of the slab, looking trapped,
wishing for some release from the pains of a burden too
heavy...The whole thing made him sick every time he came. It only
served to remind him of what he'd lost...And how lucky he was
that Mari was still alive...Hikari touched his shoulder.
"You hurt your leg..."
He nodded.
"I'm gonna get it when the nurses see it," he relied, "They told me
that it was too dangerous to come out here anymore. But I thought
that Mari'd like that. So I came."
Hikari smiled and brushed off the bear's belly, revealing a red
cross that'd been stitched there.
"Mari called him Dr. Ruffles because of the red cross and because
of the cut of the ears," he pointed out.
Hikari smiled up at him and he blushed. He turned away toward
the exit and shoved his hands into his pockets. Hikari was so
confounding to him sometimes. She seemed just cute sometimes
and then, when she smiled at him like that...he had other feelings
surface...And he had no idea what to make of them. Hikari brushed
up next to him and smiled sidelong at him, Mari's bear under her
arm. It stared out at him as they began to walk to the hospital and
seemed to wink at him. He *really* had to get that other eye sewn
back on. He coughed slightly and tried to focus on walking, instead
of on the feelings that she generated in him.
Hikari watched the pavement blend gradually from the broken kind
of the apartment buildings, to the local businesses that tried to get
near the disaster area, then to the rebuilt buildings. She looked up
as the hospital came into view. She'd always hated hospitals
because of the smell. That antiseptic smell that told your senses
that, if it wasn't there, they'd be assailed by something far less
pleasant. She didn't like that thought either, so she tried to
concentrate on having a happier mood for Touji and Mari. The
building was white. That didn't really surprise Hikari, though she
somehow expected it to be marked. One side of it looked damaged
from the same attack that hurt Mari. So much had happened that
night...So suddenly...
On the fourth floor, they found Mari's room and had to wait
outside while the doctors and nurses prepped her for her surgery.
"What's this surgery for again?" she asked, trying to be
conversational.
"Her spine..." Touji said absently, "I don't get the whole thing, but
they have to go real slow as they rebuild her spine. That just means
there's gonna be lots of surgeries..."
"Excuse me, Mr. Suzuhara?"
Touji looked up at the blonde nurse.
"Is that Dr. Ruffles?"
She was pointing to the bear in Hikari's hands. Hikari passed it to
him.
"Uh, yeah, it-How did you-?"
"Mari told us that you were going to get it for her," she laughed,
"She didn't tell us exactly *where* you were going, but we had a
good idea..."
She pointed to the tear in his workout pants. He nodded sullenly,
the bear looking out at the nurse from his lap.
"Come on," the nurse sighed, "Give me Dr. Ruffles so he can detox
and I'll get one of the younger nurses to check that cut for tetanus,
okay?"
"Why...Um...Younger...?" Hikari left her question unasked.
The nurse laughed.
"Well, he's SUCH a stud..." she laughed again, "It's because us
*older* nurses tend to stick him a little too hard with the needle.
You must be Horaki-san."
"Yes, I am," Hikari smiled despite herself as she stood and bowed.
"Mari's told us all about her brother's girlfriend," she smirked as
Touji squirmed, "And I have to say that she was right about you
being very pretty. Now, come on young man, let's get that leg
looked at. Horaki-san, you can go on in and see Mari-chan."
Touji finished blushing his ears off and nodded slowly, handing
Dr. Ruffles to the nurse. She waved goodbye to Hikari and led
Touji to a room down the hall. Hikari watched him walk off and
smiled slightly. Now, to talk to Mari about her brother being her
boyfriend. She smiled stupidly to herself as she walked in the
room. It wouldn't be that she'd really mind that, but to talk to a
complete stranger-
Hikari stopped. Mari had her eyes closed and an oxygen hood
covered her. Hikari understood that the pure oxygen helped with
the surgery, but the whole thing still made her shiver. The
machines around her beeped an obscene theme against the solemn
silence of the room and Hikari held her arms close to her. The
sides of the oxygen hood flared lightly with every small breath
from the little girl. Hikari wanted to cry. She'd never seen someone
so...She couldn't vocalize how fragile the young girl looked to her
then. A thought struck her as she realized that the nurse, to Mari,
wasn't a complete stranger. In fact, she probably knew the nurse
better now than her own brother and that tore at Hikari's heart. She
took a breath against her feelings and stepped up next to the bed.
Mari opened her eyes and grimaced slightly as she turned her head.
"'Onee-chan," she said lightly, "Is 'nii-san with ya'?"
Hikari couldn't speak, but nodded. She swallowed and spoke.
"He poked himself at the old apartment building and they had to
take him off to check for tetanus."
Mari smiled weakly.
"He's not s'posed ta' go back there..." she sighed, "He knows
that..."
"He got Dr. Ruffles..."
She smiled.
"Yeah," she said, "The nurse tol' me. They also said that I'd be
going into surgery soon."
"That's right," Hikari tried to cheer up, "It's so you can walk
again..."
A lump caught in her throat and she felt like she wanted to cry. She
was saved as Touji stumbled into the room.
"Onii-san!" Mari chirped brightly.
Touji came to her side and held her hand under the oxygen hood.
Touji was silent as Mari went on about her day and the gossip
she'd gleaned from the nurses. She thought that she'd seen Mari's
real face when she came into the room without Touji, but perhaps
it was this Mari, this bubbly, bright little girl who held onto her
brother's hand with all her might. Hikari went on autopilot. She
could hear the conversation as it went on, but didn't really hear it.
This little girl had suffered so much in her short time and yet she
put on a good face for her brother so that he wouldn't have to
worry. How could Mari, who looked so frail, have such strength?
Hikari tried to imagine being in that kind of situation and doubt
began to cloud her. It was so harsh a reality that she couldn't bear
to think about...Touji.
What would become of them if something ever happened to Touji?
What if he was injured in another Angel attack? Would she have
the strength to come in and be all smiles and hugs and...The
thought of Touji in the hospital hurt. It hurt worse than seeing Mari
like that. She loved him. That much she was fairly certain of,
but...She didn't know. She didn't know if she was strong enough...
The nurse knocked at the door a couple minutes later.
"It's time, Mari-chan."
Mari nodded sadly as she turned to her brother.
"You'll be fine, Mari..." he choked.
Several interns filed in and began to wheel the whole bed out
toward the operating room. Hikari blew her a little kiss as Mari
waved goodbye. Hikari turned to her beau as they followed them
out into the hallway. His eyes were still on the far door as it swung
closed, but his face said that he was far away. While she didn't
think she could ever condone violence, she could understand now
why Shinji got the brunt end of Touji's anger when all this
happened. Certainly, it hadn't been his fault, but without an outlet,
this kind of pain only ate at a person. Now that he could talk to
Shinji and, she wanted to add, herself, he had someplace he could
release that pain. At least, that's how it was supposed to be.
"Kensuke'll be here in a couple hours," Touji said abruptly.
He turned to her.
"You wanna get some fresh air while we can?"
She nodded slightly. She knew what he meant. Ever since the
Angel attacks began again, there was a curfew. As Hikari knew it,
it only applied to those people not with NERV. Maybe it was just
for the adolescents? She didn't really know. Like so many other
things in this city, the rules were rather vague. She followed Touji
to the elevator and he punched the button for the top floor. Perhaps
he wanted to get to the roof and get a view of sunset?
Perhaps it was just wishful thinking that he might, Hikari chided
herself.
This was Touji she was thinking about. Still, this was also the same
Touji that went to great lengths to get a teddy bear for his sister.
This was the same Touji that wanted, even *asked*, her to come
along to see Mari. The doors of the elevator opened and Hikari
tried to hide her smirk. The hospital, absent of any other room in
the facility, had moved the rehab-workout room to the roof.
Standing in the middle of the area was a single basketball hoop. It
didn't have a full net and a black scar told the onlooker that,
apparently, the Angels got game too. Touji gently heaved the set of
barbells off the court and went back to get the ball. Hikari shuffled
onto the court and waited for him. The rhythmic thump of the
basketball on the hard surface said that he hadn't come up to play a
pick-up game.
He shot the ball absently, not looking and not caring if it went in.
Hikari got the rebound and passed it back to him. It was almost
that the dribbling and shooting were nervous ticks that he couldn't
shake. She knew that the whole surgery issue weighed on him and
she was waiting for him to open up. She didn't want to scare him
off by asking, but, like "real" men, he didn't seem to want to open
up to her about his feelings either.
*Swish* and she passed the ball back to him again.
"You wanna talk about it?" she ventured.
Touji shook his head and shot the ball. She passed the ball back
and he stopped. His face grew taut and hard. The setting sun cast a
red shadow across the court. Touji looked out to the sun, as if
praying that the elder gods of earth would hear him. And have pity,
if not on him, then on his sister. Hikari moved to stand next to him.
His skin glowed a tanned auburn in the light. Hikari wondered that
she could see him much older in that instant, the hair a little grayer,
the wrinkles a little more noticeable, but still with that firm jaw
and tight, steel eyes. She drew a hand absently up to her mouth as a
tear rolled down his cheek.
"Touji..."
He looked at her and turned quickly away, not wanting the
embarrassment of tears to show. She held his arm, wanting him to
know that she was near, but he drew away from her.
"Touji..." she said again, "Please tell me what's wrong? Is it about
Mari?"
He only nodded. He dribbled the ball once. Twice. His shoulders
shuddered as he tried to hold in the tears. He tried everything he
could. He counted backward, but it was only a countdown to a
death knell. He tried dribbling the ball, but couldn't see and didn't
want to go all the way to the street again to get it. A sob burst in
his throat as he wiped at his eyes. It was too much...Just too
much...
"The...The doctors..." he said between sobs, "Mari has less chance
of...Living...Than if she'd just remained like she was."
The final confirmation from his own voice broke the barrier that
held the rest of his emotions in check. The ball dropped away,
forgotten. He didn't want to cry and had hoped that Hikari wouldn't
have followed him to the roof, but somehow he knew better. This
was something he wanted to share, painful as it was. She touched
his arm again. He didn't resist her efforts to turn him toward her,
his own masculine nature thrown to the wind, for his love of Mari.
He was startled as she enfolded him in an embrace of her own,
firm and yet soft.
"Hikari," he whispered as tears began to fall again, "I'm sorry...I-"
Hikari hushed him as she rubbed his back.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, okay?"
He pulled back from her slightly.
"I'm the reason that Mari wanted to continue with the operations,"
he murmured, "She wanted..."
He took a breath.
"She wanted to be able to beat me in basketball..."
He held Hikari tighter as more tears fell and Hikari felt her own
tears escape. Of course. Like brother, like sister. She smiled a
gentle smile as she realized it could never be any other way. She
shook her head to herself. In that moment she realized, she was the
one thing that neither Shinji nor Kensuke, as friends, could be. She
promised herself that she would always be there for him, no matter
what. Touji needed her and dammit, she'd be there!
His sobs settled and he pulled back. He dug into his pocket and
pulled out an old washcloth. Hikari gave him a questioning look
and he shrugged.
"It's from the apartment," he said as he wiped his eyes with it,
"Um, Hikari?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you...Um...I mean..."
"Not tell anyone?"
"Uh, yeah," he said quite softly.
She smiled and nodded.
"Yeah," she sighed as she folded her arms, "I think I'm sensitive
enough not to go blurting stuff out."
They both chuckled at this and Touji looked at her.
"Thanks..."
She bent over and picked up the ball. She began dribbling the ball
as a smile lilted across her freckled face.
"Touji," she said, "If you're gonna teach Mari about basketball,
then you need to be a lot better yourself."
She laughed as she crossed the basketball over to her other hand in
front of him and laid it up to the rim. She bounced happily and
picked the ball up again as he stood there, his mouth wide. She
passed it back to him. He chuckled as she batted her eyes at him,
the way Asuka taught her to. He smiled, took a deep breath and
began to dribble again. Hikari walked slowly to him and, at the last
instant, crouched down in a defensive stance, taking a couple swats
at the ball. Touji laughed as he kept it from her grasp. He dribbled
in to her defense, which he had to admit was better than Kensuke's
or even Shinji's (when he was able to get either of them to play)
and Shinji had good D. Hikari swatted the ball away, but Touji
recovered, turned and shot a perfect jumper. NOW, he could
relax...
Hikari turned as the ball sailed over her head and into the hoop.
She smiled and picked up the ball, taking it back to beyond the arc.
She liked the fire that Touji had in his eyes as she dribbled closer
and closer to the hoop. It was almost like, in that moment, he was
alive, truly alive. She smiled again. That was the Touji that she
always remembered. The confident boy-man who showed strength
to those around him, but was truly gentle underneath. That was the
Touji she would always know and that was the Touji that she fell
in love with. Heck, for that Touji, she even learned how to play
basketball...She pulled back to the three point line and drained it.
Touji shook his head as he retrieved the ball. She was a much
better shooter than he was, and her defense was great, if a little
unrefined. Maybe...Maybe she'd wanna play with him again?
Perhaps when things weren't so stressful? He didn't know, but he
*would* like the practice. He saw her eyes flicker to another
corner of the little court and she stopped guarding him. She stood
up straight and that school demeanor washed over her face. He
frowned. He liked that other Hikari better...He looked across the
court and frowned more at the sight of a familiar lens pointed at
him. Touji straightened and raised an eyebrow at Kensuke.
"Well, come on," Kensuke said, "Keep playing! You're pretty
good, class rep...For a girl, I mean..."
"Ha! She'd whip both you and Shinji..." Touji barked, "And her
name is Hikari. And you had better just've been filmin' the game..."
Touji growled slightly as Hikari looked on. She realized with a
blush what he meant and smiled to herself. The glowing dusk of
the sun covered the blood in her cheeks, for the most part, at least.
Kensuke straightened and stopped filming.
"Yeah," he said questioningly, "I just got here and you two were
playing...Why?"
Hikari giggled.
"Uh...Nuthin'," Touji stammered, "Jus' forget about it."
"Uhokay, Touji," Kensuke smiled, "Don't we need to get inside
anyway, with the sun going down?"
"Yeah," Hikari said, "Curfew, ya' know..."
Touji nodded as he followed the two back to the elevator, which
chimed happily as its door opened.
"Whaddya' wanna do now?" he asked.
Kensuke shrugged as Hikari thought for a moment. The sun broke
through the last of the clouds that threatened Tokyo-3 and blood
red shafts of light were thrown across the landscape. It was a
somber sunset that she wanted to escape. Perhaps the
administrators of the city were right in making a curfew, just so the
children wouldn't have to see this...
"How about the cafeteria?" she sighed as they stepped into the
elevator, "I could use a bite to eat."
"Sounds great," Touji nodded happily.
Kensuke explained about his recent hacking attempts at NERV on
the way to the cafeteria. Hikari half-listened, more intent on Touji's
general mood than his friend's best attempts at gaining Mad
Hacker Skills...The elevator binged again and they walked down
the short hallway to the cafeteria, following the smell of something
in gravy. The cafeteria itself wasn't very large and she noticed that
a few of the people eating there wore the NERV insignia on their
jackets, or shirts. Were they visiting their own family members?
Why weren't those people moved to the hospitals in the Geofront?
Didn't they take care of their own? Anger welled up at the
thought...If they thought so little of their own personnel, what did
they think of one little girl who may never walk again? Kensuke's
jibe at the quality of the food calmed her some, but she still held a
layer of anger at the thought that NERV simply didn't care.
"What's wrong?"
Hikari, startled by the tone, was even more startled to hear it
coming out of Touji.
"I...Uh..Nothing," she lied, "It's okay...Just something I've been
thinking about."
They made their way to a spare table near a television that'd been
left on, the channel turned to something from America. Baseball.
Hikari could get into basketball, for the pace of the game and for
Touji, but baseball was just too slow to capture much interest in
her. She ate her slop, such as it was and grimaced at the lime green
gelatin-thing that wiggled a little *too* much. Kensuke noticed her
grimace at the jello and poked his experimentally while Touji
watched the game. The Cubs were still losing.
"Ya' know what?" Kensuke finally intoned, "I think this stuff really
isn't jello..."
"What is it, then?" Touji asked, a smirk on his face.
"It's the stuff that NERV had to clean up from that one Angel,"
Kensuke said, making it wiggle at them, "Like...I don't
know...Angel innards, or something."
"I *was* going to eat that, you know..." Hikari pushed hers away.
"If you don't want yours..." Touji asked.
"Sure," she said with a smile, "Go ahead and have my Angel
Innards."
They laughed as Touji happily scooped away at the gelatinous
mass.
"May be innards," he said as he finished, "But they're pretty good."
"Hey, maybe that's what NERV oughta do," Kensuke said, "Just
give Touji a fork and let'm go!"
All three shared a laugh as Touji got up.
"Excuse me, I gotta...Well...Ya' know..."
Hikari watched him as he wandered off to find the bathroom.
Kensuke watched the baseball game, but poked at what was left of
his food. He sighed and looked at a loss around Hikari.
"Um," she began tentatively, "I really appreciate you coming down
to see Touji."
"It's no big deal for me, really," Kensuke shrugged, "Touji may be
tough on the outside, but I understand how Mari's operation is
really doing a number on him on the inside. And besides, he's my
friend."
"I just mean that I appreciate you helping to try and cheer him up,"
she said, "That's real kind..."
Kensuke smiled, a hand at the back of his head.
"It's nothing..." he said, "He and Shinji are really the only friends
I've got and I don't want either of them to be sad. That's hard to fix
with Shinji, but not with Touji. I'm not going to lose any of my
friends, if I can help it...Not even Asuka."
Hikari nodded slightly. At least he was here for the right reasons...
"What about the she-witch?" Touji idly commented as he sat back
down.
"She...Witch...?" Hikari almost choked.
"Uh-oh," Kensuke muttered.
"Uh, Hikari-" Touji stammered, realizing finally who he sat next
to, "It's...Um..It's just a...Well, nickname...You know..."
"Touji!" she barked, "She's my BEST friend!"
"Yeah, well she calls me and Kensuke and Shinji Stooges," he
fired back, "How do you think that makes us feel?"
Hikari was taken aback by the logic of it. From Touji, no less.
"I...I don't think we ever realized..." she calmed.
"Look," Touji said calmly, "I know that you both don't mean
anything by it. Just know that, if Kensuke or I say something like
that, we don't mean anything by it either...Shinji has a right to say
stuff like that because he lives with her. We don't. Okay?"
Hikari nods quietly.
"I'm sorry, Hikari," Touji said softly, "To be honest, I'm really not
too fond of her as a person, but I think I understand her
sometimes..."
Kensuke nodded and poked at his jello again.
"It's okay, Touji," she smiled again, "I just never knew."
She wondered at him again. It was like he had thought the problem
through. And while that's what a person is *supposed* to do, it
rarely happens. It had been also most unexpected in a person like
Touji and, while it may be due to the fact that he wasn't too quick
(and therefore HAD to think everything out), she preferred to
believe that it was because he truly wasn't all muscle. Kensuke
remained quiet as they threw their trash away and slipped upstairs
to the waiting area outside surgery. An ever-present television sat
in the corner, blaring out news from around the globe. There had
been an accident in the Gulf of America, near the ruins of St.
Louis. Apparently, a fishing troller collided with a submerged
building and went down. Damned stupid Americans. Didn't they
have the same, high-res maps that he did? Couldn't they tell the
difference between open water and a submerged building?
Kensuke sighed and blamed their public education system.
The Middle East, or what was left of it, was still at war with one
another. That bothered him. The Israeli's, along with much of the
coastal nations of the world, had been wiped from the map after
Second Impact. The ones that were left quickly claimed the area
south and eventually came to control the Sinai. That left them in a
strategic place of power in the region and the other governments
relented to their requests. Kensuke felt it was extortion, plain and
simple, but none of them could argue against the Israel's military
might, especially dug in as they were.
Efforts were underway in the Saharan Sea to excavate and drain a
part of it for archaeological purposes. Apparently, someone had
gotten bright enough to use sonic resonance to image through the
sand to find the ancient library buried in the Sahara. It was a shame
that they hadn't thought of it sooner though because many of the
documents would probably now be lost because of the water.
Maybe there was some way to save them still...Kensuke didn't
know...
Kensuke sat back in the lounge chair and looked across the tiny
waiting room to Touji. He tried to look comfortable around the
class rep-
Hikari. Touji'd actually chided him for not using her name. Hikari.
Maybe he felt the same way for her that she seemed to feel for
him. Certainly, Touji'd never choose to cry on *his* shoulder, but
then, Kensuke supposed that was better, really. He wouldn't know
what to say. Yeah, he'd seen the whole thing, but he'd never tell
Touji. There was no need to tell him. Sure, if Touji ever found out,
he'd be mad for a while, then when he thought about it, he'd realize
that Kensuke'd never said anything about it. That was how Touji
was. He'd get mad for a while, then think about things and get over
it. Kensuke thought that it was what happened when one had a
little sister, especially one as sharp as Mari. The girl acted stupid
and childish sometimes, she WAS a child after all, but Kensuke
was amazed at her ability to remember hundreds of names and
people and events and everything. And in absolute detail too. It
wasn't just memory either, she'd actually *learned*...
She was also the rock of Touji's life, and that was something that
was hard for Kensuke to understand. Perhaps when he was older
and girls didn't think he was weird anymore, maybe he'd
understand better how someone, some single one person, could
become so important. Because, he tried to wonder how Touji
would be without Mari, and shuddered. Sometimes, Touji scared
him, but he doubted that was intentional. It was just Touji. But
Touji wasn't like Shinji. Mari had always been there and losing her
would be a devastating blow to him.
Hikari came back from the restroom and took a seat next to Touji.
He seemed somewhat uncomfortable with her that near, but with
her smile, he eased into being there. Kensuke sighed. It was okay
then, for Touji to have someone whose shoulder he could cry on,
because that was something that he'd never let Kensuke provide.
He'd DO it, if Touji ever wanted, but Touji was too macho to ask.
Shinji would do it too, but again, Touji'd never ask. So, while
Hikari could be an emotional base, he and Shinji would still always
be his friends. Because that's what really mattered...Friendship.
Touji watched from across the room as Kensuke nodded off. He
had an odd smile on his face, but at least he wasn't that high strung
today. The blonde nurse from earlier came back a couple hours
later.
"You three should really just go home," she said softly, "We know
about the curfew and can get you all rides home. I just think that
you'd be more comfortable in your own beds and Mari might not
be out of surgery yet for quite a while..."
"I'll wait," Touji said firmly, "I wanna be here for Mari, no matter
what...And I wanna be here...Just in case..."
Touji felt a squeeze at his arm as Hikari wrapped her arm around
his.
"And I want to be here with Touji, if it's all right?" she asked
quietly.
"Me too," Kensuke said as he adjusted his glasses.
The nurse smiled at the show of friendship and spoke quietly to
another nurse, who came up with a chart of something. The blonde
nurse turned back to the group.
"You three haven't made any trouble," she said, "So, I suppose it'd
be okay."
"Thank you," Touji said with a smile.
"Just try to relax, okay?" she said, ruffling his hair, "Mari-chan's in
good hands."
He nodded somberly as he ran his hand through his hair. The night
ran on, shaking it's dark fist at the little human lights burning in the
hearts of those below. Kensuke was out. He'd finally relented to
sleep sometime past eleven and didn't even wake when the nurses
propped a pillow under his head and a blanket across his shoulders.
Touji smiled gently. Kensuke didn't HAVE to be here. But there he
was, snoring in time to an old rerun of the Tonight Show. Touji
snorted softly to himself. People twenty years ago were SO
deformed...Touji just stared at Leno's chin. Hikari had cuddled
against his side, propping her head on his shoulder. He thought
about saying something, but then realized that he rather enjoyed
the attention, even if it was as a piece of furniture. He snorted
again. That sounded like something Shinji might have said...She
had her head tilted down slightly and he couldn't tell if she was
awake or not, but she hadn't moved in a while, so he assumed she'd
gone off like Kensuke.
It was okay. He smiled. He didn't mind. He shifted his arm out
from under her head and slipped it around her shoulder, drawing
her into him. He reached down and pulled the blanket up around
her shoulders so that no one would have to see that he was holding
her or some junk like that. She sighed heavily and Touji smiled. He
liked the feeling of her next to him.
It was comfortable...
Hikari thanked God that she had the blanket around her shoulders
at the moment for the blush that had captured her face. Probably
the rest of her as well. Not to mention the silly-assed grin that
HAD to be plastered on her face, but that was really okay too. She
sobered slightly as thoughts from earlier in the evening came back
to her. How could she have thought like that for someone as sweet
and obviously loving as Touji? How could she think that, if he
were ever injured, she'd simply give him up? How could she? She
felt slightly ill that she could ever think like that. She knew it was
just fear behind her thoughts, but it still sickened her. It wouldn't
matter. She loved him. If he were a flaming gay quadriplegic, she'd
still...Well, okay, maybe not the gay part...But that was neither
here nor there! She'll stand by him. No matter what.
No matter what.
Hikari closed her eyes and let the warmth of his arm around her
lull her thoughts to the ease of sleep. Touji smiled as the channels
switched on the television...The satellite was coming up on the
American stations for the day and the reruns would stop. Hikari
snuggled closer, which he thought was impossible. Kensuke snored
lightly from across the room. The lights finally turned low and
Touji tried to make himself comfortable. He smiled at Kensuke.
The friend he always wanted. And never wanted. And Hikari...A
friend he could...Love...?
He didn't think he really understood what that meant yet, but he
wouldn't mind finding out...After all...
Friendship is everything.