A/N: This chapter is really short, but it's kind of like a test to see if I'm able to write DE, cause I find it extremly hard. Please review and tell me what you think:))

He wanders slowly through the hallway.

He feels numb, a kind of feeling he hasn't felt since…

Since he broke Jeremy's neck.

Damon stops at the edge of the stairway and takes a sip of the drink in his cold hand.

He can hear her outside; she is standing on the porch. Her heart beating fast and small sobs escaping her delicate lips.

You have lost me forever.

It's the only thing spinning around in his mind at this moment.

But he never had her. So this won't matter.

She never became his to loose.

He stands still and waits for her knocking on the door.

A minute passes by and he wonders why she is just standing outside in the dark.

He goes to the door and swings it open.

"Well hello there, Elena"

He immediately sets up this façade when he sees her, he can't help it.

He doesn't think he can take much more. He isn't able to hurt more than he already does.

"How can you stand there and smile?" She quickly makes her way past him.

"Please, come in" He shuts the door with a bang and Elena quickly turns around and sets her eyes in him.

Eyes that are red from crying.

Eyes that see right through him.

Everytime.

"How could you do that?" She yells at him.

He doesn't answer; he just simply takes another sip from the scotch in his hand.

"How could you do that do Bonnie's mother? To Bonnie?"

She only whispers her best friends' name. It hurts to think about how she didn't even want to see her earlier.

"To save your life." He emphasizes every word to make her understand that he would do it all again if he had the choice.

"I don't want you to save my life if it means taking someone else's." She says and crosses her arms.

He moves two steps closer to her and can feel her heart race faster.

He smiles at her then and takes yet another sip.

"I will always choose you."

Her heart skips a beat when she hears those words for the second time and he gently places three fingers at her cheek.

She pulls away almost immediately and stares at the ground.

"You shouldn't have turned her."

"You shouldn't have told Elijah about his mother's plan." He spits the words, to make them hurt.

"I know" She answers and he can see tears starting to surface in her eyes.

They stand still for a minute or two.

"It doesn't change the fact that you ruined someone's life, that you turned an innocent woman into a vampire. To the thing her daughter hates the most…" She is so angry at him, and at herself at the same time.

But right now it's easiest to take it out on him. She knows it's selfish. But if she blames herself more at this point she will break down.

"I was saving your life!" He yells at her, his pupils dilating.

"It doesn't matter!" She yells back.

He turns away from her and starts walking towards the stairs.

"If you're mad at me, Elena…" He starts.

"You have to get over it."

And then he disappears upstairs and she lets herself cry for real.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

Damon looks up and sees Stefan standing in front of him, arms crossed.

"Is lurking in the background becoming your new hobby? Finished shaping your hair?"

Stefan stands totally still, not a muscle moving.

"You could have told her about the coin toss."

"Why bother?

"You love her." Stefan states.

"I think we established that earlier" Damon says tiredly.

He doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

"She didn't deserve what you said to her"

Damon loudly sighs and tiredly shakes his head

"You don't know the whole story, Stefan" He says angrily and walks towards his bedroom.

"I know that none of us deserve her."

Damon stops up for a second.

"I think you've established that too, brother."

Elena doesn't remember getting home.

She doesn't remember driving or opening the front door.

She only remembers his words and they way they got to her.

She defiantly remembers realizing how much she must have hurt him earlier the day when she said exactly the same.

He never admits it and he hardly shows it.

But Damon Salvatore gets hurt.

He feels.

She knows that he does, she can see it.

Sometimes she thinks she's the only one who can.

Elena sighs as her body hits the bed.

Tears start to surface yet again.

She feels like a mess. Everything is a mess.

Bonnie won't see her, Bonnie's mother is a vampire, all the originals are still alive.

And then there is Stefan. And Damon.

Messy.

She wants to hate Damon for what he's done, hate him for turning Abby.

Hate him for snapping again.

But she can't hate him, isn't able too.

She knows why he snapped at the party, she should never have said what she did.

It was in the heat of the moment, everything became too intense.

They were too close.

She can't hate him.

Right now the only one she hates, is herself.

As soon as Damon is inside his bedroom he throws his drink at the wall.

He smashes everthing he can see.

Tries to let out all his rage and frustration.

She didn't want me.

He was starting to believe that he actually had a shot.

A shot with her.

He believed that everyone was fools when they said she would never respect him, or care for him, or want him.

or love him

Now he realizees that he was the biggest fool of them all, for believing otherwise.