Hermione is always so composed and strong. She gives off this sense of independence and intelligence. I think it intimidates some people. You never see her cry, never see her falter. I suppose she never lets anyone close enough to hurt her. She sorts of barricades herself off from other people. Not even Harry and I are allowed in, past the walls of strength. She tells us when she's worried, or sometimes even scared, but she seems to block us out of her sadness. I, of course, see her anger a lot. But that's different.
The only thing that makes me feel a tiny bit better about this is not even Krum was allowed close enough to hurt her. Bloody Viktor Krum who can't even say her name. Right, back on track. I'm not saying Hermione's emotionless- oh no, anything but. She's an incredibly passionate person. When she's doing an essay or even just checking mine, you can see by the look on her face she's trying to bring it as close to perfection as possible. Which, with Hermione, is normally pretty close. Her brows furrow, her nose a little bit scrunched, and she bites her lip. Once she even managed to make her lip bleed. And when she's reading, or proving somebody wrong (normally me) the way her eyes light up, oh, I don't know, it's just like something inside me jumps, or moves, or whatever.
There have been a couple of times the barrier has broken down, though. Like in 4th year, when Cedric died, I could tell just how scared she really was. She spent a good hour, at least, just sitting and sobbing, and holding her face in her hands. I couldn't face it. That's when you know it's really bad, when it has Hermione Granger in a state like that. And then in 5th year, when Sirius died, God, no, I couldn't take seeing her like that. She wasn't just upset, she was terrified. It was though she realised just then how bad things were. How much worse they could get.
In 6th year, although we'd argued countless times before, it was the first time I'd saw anything like that from her directed at me. When me and Lavender stumbled into that empty classroom (well, it wasn't empty, Hermione and Harry were in there), before the canaries came towards me, I saw a look in her eyes that made me really want to hurt myself for causing it. She looked angry, yes, but I was used to her anger. Upset, yes, but I'd seen her upset before (even though I hated it). The thing that really hurt me was the other thing I could see- betrayal. She thought I'd betrayed her. And just as I knew there was something between us, that wasn't there with her and Harry, she knew it too. And at the moment, I would have done anything to be standing there, holding Hermione's hand, and having Lavender set a bunch of canaries at me, than what was happening then. But the next time I looked, her walls were back up again, and all I saw was fury in her eyes. And I knew, if anyone else had made her like that, I would kill them, be it Krum, Malfoy or even Harry, they would be dead. But I wasn't about to kill myself now, was I? Besides, if I had killed myself, what happened at Dumbledore's funeral wouldn't have happened. At the end of the funeral, after Dumbledore's coffin had been burned, and I was HOLDING Hermione Granger, woman of wonder, highly passionate, brightest-witch-of-her-age, and she looked up at me with something in her eyes I'd never saw there before. It was love, and desire, and lust, and all things like that rolled into one. And of course, sorrow for Dumbledore's death and pity for Harry, but at that moment the love in her eyes, for me, was all I could see. And in that moment, I knew I would be let past Hermione's barriers, and would learn everything about her I didn't already know (which wasn't much). I wanted to stay there forever, telling her how much I love her, and promising so much, yet asking so little. But there was Harry to think about, and the Horcruxes, and Voldemort. And I know it sounds cheesy, and probably a bit of a cliché, but then I knew there was hope, and everything would be alright.
So, here I am, writing this now, and with each word I write, loving Hermione more and more. I will fight in the last battle for her, and of course for Harry. But I will fight knowing at the end, whether we win or lose, in life or in death, I will always remember those four words Hermione said to me today: "I love you, Ron."