MaCavity Madness
A CATS Play
Munkustrap: I'm gonna be the narrator!
Tugger: sniff I was gonna be narrator!
MaCavity: Shut up and get to good bit.
Tugger and Munku: sigh OK Ok MaCaronni and Cheese!
MaCavity: I heard that!
Munku: Ok, so it was a normal day in the Jellicle Junkyard when-
Demeter: MACAVITY!
MaCavity: (runs onstage) Tadah!
Munku: According to the script, you two aren't on right now.
MaCavity and Demeter: We aren't? (roll eyes and leave)
Munku: OK so, it was a normal day in the Jellicle Junkyard when MaCavity came and kidnapped Tugger, Mistofolless and...er...me? Who wrote this thing?
MaCavity: (walks on and raises hands) Guilty!
(Nee naw noises)
MaCavity: Eep! (runs offstage and is pursued by police cats)
Munku: Who's gonna narrate? Tugger and I get kidnapped!
Old D: I'll narrate!
Munku: OK, we just gotta wait for Tugger and MaCavity and Misto to come!
(MaCavity runs in, followed by Misto and Tugger)
Tugger, Misto and MaCavity: Are we late?
Old D: Yeah
MaCavity: Sorry!
Old D: You gotta kidnap Misto, Tugger and Munku, MaCavity!
MaCavity: Okie dokie! O evil hencats!
(Evil hencats walk onstage and grab Tugger, Misto and Munku, who scream and are dragged offstage, pursued by MaCavity)
MaCavity : MUAHAHAHAHA
Old D: OK so...er, back at MaCavity's evil lair, Misto, Munku and Tugger are put in a er.. what is this word Mac?
MaCavity: (runs in wearing glasses) It says c-a-d-g-e Mr. D.
Old D: And what is a cadge?
MaCavity: (groans and slaps paw to forehead) A typo! ARGH!!
Old D: So, is it a cage?
MaCavity: Yeah, I think so.
Munku: What is the meaning of this, you fiend?
Misto: Yeah, sticking us in a cage?
Tugger: In your evil l-a-i-r-e?
MaCavity: (grabs Old D's script) Crazy catnip! Another typo!
Old D: Can you type Mac?
MaCavity: Er...I don't think so! (sniffs)
Old D: You have a line MaCavity.
MaCavity: Oh yeah. Er, I put you in that c-a-d-g-e because you deserve it, O Jellicle Twerps!
Misto: I have a plan.
Tugger and Munku: What?
Misto: We ask Old D to help us!
Old D: But I'm narrating!
MaCavity: But in the script it says, 'Old D goes to help his ugly friends!'
Old D: So it does. Ok, who's gonna narrate?
(Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, Griddlebone, Darkpaw, Randomeizer and Cirruss walk in)
All: We're here!
Mungo: MaCavity's evil minions,
Rumple: At your service!
Griddlebone: We play cards!
Darkpaw: We steal stuff!
Cirruss: We are evil!
Randomeizer: And we like to pretend to be llama duck pixies!
(All the cats stare at Randomeizer)
Randomeizer: Heh heh...OK that wasn't funny was it?
MaCavity: No.
Old D: So, who's gonna narrate?
All Minions: ME!! (wave paws frantically)
MaCavity: With my superior intelligence I pick...er...who do I pick?
All Minions: ME!! (wave paws frantically)
Misto: With my magic powers, I pick Randomeizer!
All other Minions: (look dissapointed)
Randomeizer: Okie dokie! So...OK here we is. The Jellicle Twerps are in the cage and Misto asks Old D to help them.
Misto: Old D, help us.
Old D :OK
Misto: Can you get us out of here?
MaCavity: Nope (grabs Old D and shoves him in cage)
Old D: By the name of the Heavyside Layer! We're doomed!
(Bustopher Jones walks in)
Randomeizer: But then, help arrived for the Jellicles in form of a certain fat cat by the name of Bustopher Jones!
Bustopher Jones: Hello there! And what on earth are you all in a cage for?
MaCavity: (hisses) That's not your line!
Bustopher: It isn't? (snatches script) Oh, alright my line is: 'I shall save you O Jellicles!'
Tugger, Munku, Misto and Old D: OK, so what now?
Randomeizer: There's no more script! It's gone! Someone must have stolen it!
(Everyone onstage points at MaCavity)
MaCavity: I'm innocent! Really! I have an alibi! You can't prove anything! (crosses arms)
Bustopher Jones: Liar! (hits MaCavity with his spoon)
MaCavity: Owie! (faints dramatically)
(All MaCavity's minions run offstage, including Randomeizer)
Bustopher: (breaks cage with spoon) Aha!
Tugger, Munku, Misto and Old D: We're free!
Bustopher: So, who's narrating?
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer: (come back on) We will!
Bustopher: Read your lines then!
Mungo and Rumple: Ok Mr. Bossy! So then, the O So Brilliant MaCavity un-fainted and laughed an evil laugh, then he grabbed Bustophers spoon and hit him and the other Jellicles over their heads, knocking them out. Then he took control of the Junkyard and-
Everyone Onstage: WHO WROTE THIS?
MaCavity: (raises paws and sighs) Guilty!
(Nee naw noises)
(All cats run offstage except MaCavity)
MaCavity: Er...toodle pip?
(runs offstage, chased by Bustopher Jones who is yelling 'THAT'S MY LINE YOU FURBALL! MINE MINE MINE!!')
THE END
By Your Crazy Friend-Cat