Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, obviously.
Warning: Shonen-ai, shoujo-ai/ BL, GL pairings will be in here, along with crack pairings and hetero ones as well. Also quite abit of cussing, possible violence and there's a high chance of sexual innuendos etc. I think that's it.

Oh, and if you read this, and like it, review it please. I've got up to the fifth chapter written, but I'm not going to put more on unless I get reviews.
Constructive critiscim is also highly appreciated.

SimplyForgettable

Ever wake up with that horrid feeling that you've just woken up in a new house, in a new part of the world, to go to your first day at a new school with a new legal guardian standing over you and breathing down your neck? No? Well, it must be just me then.

My life is seriously messed up.

Pushing myself up onto my elbows I'm greeted with the revelation that the sick feeling in my gut was right, again. Just like it's always right about my brothers wearing more make-up than me. But that's beside the point right now, because currently I was dealing with waking up to see a bushy browed, bowl-cut loving thing…. I can't say person and be entirely sure of it, as person implies that it's human, and honestly no human could ever have a bowl-cut on purpose. It just defies the laws of nature.

"Why, hello Temari!" Shoot me, shoot me now. I can not deal with 'Happy-happy bowl-cut man!' this early in the morning. I am NOT a morning person.

Actually, I don't think morning people even exist.

"And how are you today on this beautiful morning?" Or maybe they do, and they take the form of people like this…. Now that's a thought that's truly chilling. "I don't think we got properly introduced last night before you collapsed. The name is Maito Gai!" His pose drew attention unnecessarily to his eyebrows and overly shiny teeth. "And you'll be seeing my lovely offspring Lee around here at some point. He's quite the lady-killer."

Its official, my new legal guardian is a serial killer. And quite possibly a paedophile. Please, God, if you're out there, I know I've never been a good person so please, please take this chance to strike me down….

"Now go have a shower and get dressed for school, I'm making pancakes for breakfast!" He….he…. he pinched my cheek and tousled my hair!! It's official; if there's a God he so hates me. What did I ever do to deserve this?

Following a humming crazy who's apparently a morning person out the door, I see into the bathroom that's right across from my room. The weird cream and green theme that I can see of it so far doesn't agree with my stomach, but otherwise, I have seen heaven and it is called 'free bathroom'. I'd have a glee-gasm on the spot about apparently not having to share a bathroom with my brothers, but the one called Gai is watching me.

And that bitch Kankuro just stole my bathroom. That boy's dead to me.

Breakfast is the enemy. I swear it to you.

I finally got into the bathroom to have a 15 minute shower, oh yes; I shower quickly, and now am being stared at by Gai for wearing man pants. Apparently it is a cardinal sin to wear man pants when 

you are quite obviously female. Apart from his critiquing my choice to be pretty much anti-fashion (and this coming from a man who wears green and orange AT THE SAME TIME is pretty rich), he makes some damn good pancakes. Not that I'll ever admit that.

I'll be dead and buried long before I compliment someone with a bowl-cut for anything. Even pancake making skills. And I am very picky when it comes to pancakes.

Okay, I lie; I'm the human equivalent to a garbage disposal unit. As is Kankuro, it's Gaara who's the picky eater in the family. Silly little psycho emo kid.

"So, Temari, how do you like the pancakes?" Is Gai trying to engage me in friendly breakfast chatter? In that case, how about I shove more pancake in my mouth. Can't talk with your mouth full, now can you? "Ah, you like them I see!"

Gai scares me, he really does. The whole intense, Happy-happy bowl-cut-man thing is extremely scary. Particularly when he's focussing it directly on you at breakfast when you're really not a morning person and would kill a man for coffee. Deadly, 100 degree coffee. Damn, I really want some coffee!

"You're not a rather talkative child are you Temari!" He….he….he poked me in the cheek! I swear to high hell if his finger comes anywhere near my mouth again I'll bite it off. I mean it, I will! Luckily, I don't have to respond as Kankuro has taken this moment as an opportunity to choke on pancakes, what a thoughtful brother I have….

"Not talkative?! Temari?!" I don't like his tone of choking. Oh Kankuro, hurry up and die. "That's a good one Gai!" Looks like the pancakes not on my side this time. Curses.

"How about I shove my foot down your throat puppet-fucker?" Gai stares at me wide eyed and Kankuro just bursts out laughing. Apparently, he knew this would happen. Wait, what am I saying 'apparently' for? Of course he'd know I'd say something like that! I'm awake at 7 in the morning without coffee, it's a miracle I haven't attempted to stab anyone to death with a teaspoon by now.

"I'd like to see you try little Tema-tema." Oh that is it, dead time now for Kankuro. For some reason, his cackling just increases in volume when I raise the teaspoon threateningly. "You might be a man, but you don't have the balls to use that teaspoon on me."

"Now, now, is this really the way to behave at the breakfast table?!" Now Gai's disturbed. I think we deserve some kind of prize for this. Like DEADLY 100 DEGREE COFFEE. Oh hell yes, that would be really good right now. Especially because I can at least 'accidentally' spill some on Kankuro…. "I think you should put your flames of youth on a lower setting."

Did he just say 'flames of youth'?

"Did you just say 'flames of youth'?" Wow, Kankuro does what I think. Is this some kind of weird mind-control? Or just coincidence? "I think I need to OD on caffeine now."It's obviously mind-control. Creepy.

"Are you sure caffeine is a good idea for either of -?"

"It's a good idea!" Did Kankuro and I say that at the same time? Super creepy. Cue twitching here.

"Temari." Kankuro turned to me, eyes wider than eyes should be. "We are not twins. This is not right."

"Indeed. And I wouldn't want to have you as a twin, you purple eye-shadow wearing fairy-boy." He nodded and clapped me on the shoulder.

"Fair enough Tema-chan, you have won this round. I shall make the deadly coffee of your victory now."

"Damn straight bitch."

Gai just looked back and forth between us as if we were some kind of deranged tennis match. I'm fairly sure we weren't, but that's the look he was giving us. I kind of feel sorry for him, me in the morning plus Kankuro as he always is….well, I guess it's a little too much to handle. Even for a crazy morning person with a bowl-cut. Wonder when he's going to work up the nerve to speak…

"But I thought you two were twins?" Sometimes silence is best. Gai hasn't worked that one out yet I see.