Axel has loved Roxas for years, but when he finally tells him, he doesn't get an answer back. Months later, and Axel still doesn't get an answer, when he tries to talk to Roxas about it. Axel gets shut down, only to have dire consequences. Xion bashing, Organization High school, completely AU. Some swearing, first FF.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, and if I did I wouldn't be here writing FanFiction. I would be sorting out my own issues with my own Roxas. But I am not brave enough to do that. So I will just write about my issues.

Chapter 1 – Prologue

Whenever I would sit next to Roxas in our English class, it would get really awkward. Not because of anything I did, and not because of anything Roxas did, but because of Demyx. OK, now don't get me wrong, Demyx is my best friend in the whole wide world. I know his water, I'm fire, odd friendship, but we joined to Organization so close together, we became quick friends, and we share the same love of music, even the same types of music, heavy metal, screamo, rock, ect. We went to concerts together. But that kid, god damn him. He could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Demyx has been trying to set me up with Roxas, ever since I told him I liked Roxas, after a year of him sitting in English and poking me staring at me with that fucked up smirk that so pissed me off, I finally told Roxas how I felt. OK I didn't tell him I loved him, I just told him I liked him. I didn't want to push him into something he didn't want, and telling him that I loved him would probably run in the opposite direction. So after one certain English class I got the courage to tell him.

"Hey Roxas, in English… where you wondering why Demyx and Sora where bugging me?"

"Umm yeah, I have been wondering why they have been doing that for a while."

Roxas looked at me, and I looked into his unbelievably blue eyes and part of me melted inside. God damn it, I couldn't handle looking at him, or I would have lost control and kissed that kid senseless. But I couldn't do that right now.

"Well… Demyx has been trying to get me… to umm tell you that I really like you, like really like you."

I looked at him, hoping not to see disappointment or fear in his eyes. But I couldn't even see surprise at my latest revelation. I could never read him very well.

"Yeah, I know."

"OK well… wait. What? You knew?"

OK if anyone had a surprised look on their faces right now it was me. I knew most of the Organization knew about my feelings towards Roxas, and hey, most pointed out that he would have to be blind to not see it, but I really thought he didn't know.

"Yeah, Xion told me that you liked me, when we did ice-skating for sport last year."

That BITCH. God if I didn't have enough problems with her already, she lies to me and I have to find out about that fact that she has lied to me from Roxas. Then she stabs me in the back asking people about how much time Roxas and I spend together outside of school, and if that wasn't enough she goes behind my back and tells Roxas my biggest secret. I trusted her and she fucking betrayed me. She was my best fucking friend and she betrayed me.

"She did. Ahh ok" RING RING RING

Fuck that bell, I was just getting to the part where I would ask him how he feels. God fucking dammit.

The next maths lesson is a god send. Roxas or Xion isn't in this class with me, but Demyx, Sora, Vexen and Namine are. I am now ignoring my maths teacher's rants about… whatever the fuck we are learning. While Demyx is continuously asking how my talk with Roxas went.

"Fuck, Demyx. Can you just wait until this dickhead of a teacher has finished talking about this? We have already been in trouble for talking, he said next time he would throw you out."

"Fine, but as soon as he sets the exercise for us to work on, you, me and a massive conversation. OK?"

"OK, Dem. You know I can't keep anything from my bestie."

"And I have a natural talent for extracting the truth from you"

When our teacher finally shut up, Demyx turned to me.

"OK, Axel what the fuck happened to have you in such a foul mood?"

I hesitated, as much as he is my bestie and I can't keep one fucking secret from him.

"I told him… that I liked him, an…" with that I was cut off by Demyx hugging me from his seat.

"I knew you would be brave enough to tell him. I am so proud of you."

"Demyx, can you let me finish… please?"

"Sorry, go on"

"Well I told him, and he was like, yeah I knew."

"Wait… that bastard knew all this time and he didn't do anything about it… I will drown the fucker for hurting you."

"Yeah I was pretty surprised at that too. But that's not what has me all torn up inside."

Demyx looked at me with sadness in his eyes, he was my best friend and I loved him like a brother, but unlike a brother, I usually didn't hate him most of the time. "Come on Axel, tell me what's up."

Looking at him, I lost it. I dropped my head to my desk and wished that that half of me that wanted to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out was stronger than the part of me that was too proud to let anyone see me cry, all I wanted was to cry the tears that were burning the back of my eyes.

"Axel, don't let this eat you up. Don't keep it to yourself, tell me. What's happened?"

Turning and hugging him, I could feel a single tear run from my eye.

"That fucking bitch, Xion told him like a year ago. She feels fine keeping secrets from me, her 'best friend' but apparently she can't keep a secret, even the biggest secret of mine, from Roxas. She can't even keep her 'best fucking friends' secret!" By this time, my voice had raised in volume and pitch, quickly Demyx and Namine grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"Axel, you need to calm down. We don't need the whole school on fire." Namine and Demyx always knew how to calm me down, but right now I was so confused.

"The school on fire…? What the fuck?" I was so confused

"Axel look at your hands… and your hair." Demyx was getting paler by the second.

I looked down at my hands and they were on fire, seconds away from summoning my chakrams. I took some deep breaths to calm myself. The rest of the lesson, Demyx made sure I didn't get to angry. As I was on the bus on the way home, I could help but shed a few tears behind my red Ray-Bans. God damn it, my life was so much better this morning.

TBC...

A/N - Ok this is my first FF. Now this story is close to my heart, it is about my own personal experience, but I have changed the names and have added and taken things out of what really happened to me. Once the story gets further, I will completely make it up, cause this story will have a happy ending... I hope, but my life hasn't yet, I still have to resolve my own issues with my own Roxas. Because this story is so close to my heart, I will not update until I get some reviews, they make me happy that someone is interested in my story.