This was inspired by a fanfiction written in German by the most amazing person in the world who surely knows I mean them. So it's dedicated to you, my sweet ;)
I'm like the mirror. Broken beyond repair, jagged, cutting everyone who tries to touch me.
Disclaimer: Mirror Mirror in my hand, who is the wickedest in the Land? - My Queen, you are the wickedest here so true. But Maguire is a thousand times more wicked than you... Well... Yeah. It's not mine, you see. Go ask the Mirror.
Mirror Mirror
She wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn't. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She wanted to die – but she couldn't.
Could she do anything at all?
Here she was, sitting in the middle of the chaos she had caused herself, chaos visible for everyone added to the invisible chaos within, inside of her, haunting her.
Her fingers traced over the fragments of what had once been a mirror. Her eyes were wide open, no matter how hard she tried to close them. They refused to acknowledge her wishes and kept looking. Seeing. She didn't want to see. All she could see was destruction, and it was all her fault, and her fault alone.
Oh, it wasn't the mirror that bothered her, even if she was the one who broke it. Smashed it, lashed at it with her fists until it was lying in shards all around her, jagged shards of glass, jagged little mirrors that kept reflecting, multiplying the picture she had hoped to never have to see again, and she wanted nothing more than lift her hands which were splattered with blood and cover her eyes with her green and red fingers, but she couldn't because they were too heavy, because the blood weighed them down too much, not the blood the mirror had caused to appear but the blood of those who had died because of her.
A low moan forced its way through her throat and out between her lips, and she lifted both arms and let them fall back on the tiny pieces, not caring that they cut her skin even more, just hoping to break them, to break them and smash them and destroy them until they wouldn't reflect anything back at her anymore because she couldn't bear to see what they showed her.
She saw her chin, sharp as a knife; she could have killed just using it. The same with her nose, sharp and pointed and ugly and loathsome, like the beak of a bird of prey.
She could see her cheekbones, high and prominent, over her sunken cheeks that made her look like the villain of a fairy tale. She was a good villain all right. Children were scared of her already, wasn't that what the villains were for?
She could see her eyes. Dark, deep in their sockets, black and empty. Cold. Unfeeling... Nothing could be deduced from that piercing gaze, her feelings would forever be hidden from the world behind her eyes, but from herself she could not hide them any longer.
And all these features were embedded in green. Green, awful and disgusting, making one's skin crawl and making people cry out and run. Children could get nightmares just from seeing this sickening color.
A painful, anguished scream ripped its way out of her lungs, out of her heart. The broken mirror seemed like a symbol. A symbol for her, a symbol for her life, a symbol for her failure.
She had not achieved anything at all.
She had had a brother once. Shell. She had abandoned him by leaving home and going to university. See you later, bro. Good joke.
She had had a sister once. Nessarose. She had abandoned her by leaving Shiz for the Emerald City. See the Wizard. Hah.
She had had a friend once. Glinda. She had abandoned her by staying in the Emerald City and sending her back to Shiz. Go live your life. Sure.
She had had a lover once. Fiyero. She had abandoned him by not telling him to leave when there was still time. I love you, Yero. Go to hell.
She had had a son once. Liir. She had abandoned him before he was even born, by neglecting him from the beginning and not even trying to love him. What would you wish for? Don't start.
She had abandoned everyone, and now was abandoned herself. But then, she'd never been one for company.
Still, this was different. She stared at the shards, and the shards stared back at her, cold and accusing. Her mirror. She had avoided mirrors all her life, but she couldn't avoid this one, not this broken mirror that reflected her so perfectly.
I broke the mirror. I destroyed it. And not it shows me myself. I can see me, I can see what I became.
I'm like the mirror. Broken beyond repair, jagged, cutting everyone who tries to touch me.
Blood dripped from her hands. She traced her fingers over her arms, smearing red over the green, creating a disgusting purplish hue.
I'm the mirror. The mirror I broke. But if I am the mirror, someone else must have broken me. Smashed me. Until I couldn't be fixed anymore.
Who? Who was it? Who is to be blamed for the mess my life has become, the mess I have become?
Faces appeared and disappeared in front of her eyes. Madame Morrible, Nessa, Tibbett, Turtle Heart, the Wizard, Yackle, Frex, Glinda, Pfannee, Melena. Fiyero. Green Bean.
Fate has deemed me as a hopeless case and turned its back on me. Trying to fix the mistake I am by creating beauty to cover me up. Nessa, Glinda, Fiyero.
Or was it me? Just myself? Did I break myself?
The room was shaking. A clinking, rattling sound was in the air as the shards of the mirror fell to pieces, smaller, smaller, ever smaller, until there were none of them left. Just a thick layer of dust, glittering dust that was whirled up into the air, shining like thousands of stars.
And as the mirror finally ceased reflecting, Elphaba Thropp collapsed amidst its beautiful remnants and cried bloody tears.