"James.." I began,
"Shhh" he silenced me, putting his finger over my mouth, "They'll love you Savvy, promise." Then, being the heartbreaker boyfriend he is gave me that cocky smile that I love so much and ran his hand through his curly ringlets. I loved him, I really did, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to meet his parents, I mean his dad was Harry Potter! For Merlin's sake, surely they wanted some powerful pureblood wife for James, not little old seventh year me. No way. I wasn't ready to do this.
"Ahh look, there they are!" James grabbed my trunk for me and started leading us across the platform. I could see the gathering of gingers a long way off, many of them appeared to be wearing homemade Christmas themed garments, which left no body in any doubt as to the fact they were Weasleys. Before I could protest I was among them. Bewildered I stood as James was greeted by basically everyone there,
"James!"
"Hey Jamie!"
"Sup little bro!" – this confused me, James was being greeted by a man of 25 perhaps, with bright turquoise hair, yet had never mentioned an older brother,
"James son!" Ahh, there was the one I had been waiting for, I watched as James embraced a well filled man who was just a little shorter than him. It was quite shocking to meet Harry in real life actually, you always imagined him running around in torn clothes with his wand out, or holding a dying friend like he did in the stories, to see such a happy, family orientated man was a little grounding.
"Mum, Dad, this is Savannah, my girlfriend, she is staying all holidays, remember?" I blinked
"Oh yes, the one you keep writing about?" A woman with fiery ginger hair smiled teasingly at James, who rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, and stepped forward to embrace me,
"I'm Ginny, Ginny Potter" She said as she stepped back " I hope my sons been treating you well!" she regarded him with a critical eye,
"Muuum" James complained as Harry shook my hand, no, he doesn't shine like he does in the stories, then he moved to let to more people into our little circle, a bushy haired woman, I recognised her from the pictures, Hermione, I think, and an older woman holding an infant,
"Da Da" I froze in shock as the infant (who couldn't have been more than ten months) reached out towards James and spoke again, "Da Da" James winced and gave me sorrowful look,
"Sorry" He murmured, his eyes downcast, "Didn't mean for you to find out this way", then, as the infant called again, his face broke into a big grin and he stepped forwards to grasp her out of the woman's arms, "Hello baby girl!" I stood, still shocked, as all my previous conceptions of James, trustworthy, loyal, truthful, began to fall away in front of me. This child, an accident I was sure, he must have been what, 15, when she was conceived, James Potter, a father, you must be joking! Yet the physical similarities where there, the child had Harry's green eyes and James nose and eyebrows, and adorable dark curly hair. And James on going punishment fit too, going home, grounded nearly every weekend, supposedly for bad marks; in reality it must have been to visit his child. His child, the words stuck in my brain, why hadn't he told me? It stung, really physically hurt, I must have looked so stupid, not knowing.
"Don't forget, Burrow at six tomorrow!" A last reminder of the first holiday dinner was called by Hermione as the family broke up into separate sections and moved away through the wall, back in to the real world. The real world, I felt detached, an outsider, unseen, viewing a family, not part of it. Mr and Mrs Potter shot me and James pitying glances and moved through the wall first, pushing all the trunks on trolleys, even mine, though I hadn't noticed them taking it, next were the blue haired man, Albus, Lily and Scorpius, another visitor who was staying the whole holidays. I knew James didn't like him, but put up with him because he and Albus were joined at the hip. He hadn't looked shocked at the appearance of the child. James turned to look at me, easily switching the little girl to his other hip, he had had enough practice I supposed bitterly.
"Savvy," He breathed, the train began to move away again behind me, heading where, I didn't know. "Sav? Please.." I let the sound of the pistons wash over me as I closed my eyes, breathe Savannah, I told myself as tears threatened to fall. Breathe.
"Da Da?" The questioning voice of the little girl jolted me again. I opened my eyes to see James crying openly, the child reaching up to touch the tears with one delicate finger.
"Her mother?" I gasped, reaching up to wipe my eyes as they brimmed with tears, clutching my bag to my side, James understood my question,
"She died.." His voice cracked, then he steeled himself and continued, "giving birth."
"You loved her?"
"I never knew her." It was a statement not a plea, and for some reason, it made his crime forgivable. I hadn't been going out with him then, I had no reason to judge. It was a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. The fact the mother had died made the story sadder, his mistake had had dreadful consequences, far reaching ones, he seemed to know this, understand it, but he definatley didn't like it.
"Savv.." His words died on his lips as I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his rough sweater. He put his face in my hair and kissed the top of my head gently, "I'm so sorry Savannah, I meant to tell you, I really did, but I was so scared it would get out, or Mia would get taken away. She's so precious you see, I love her so much. I need to be there for her." I dried my eyes and looked up into his face, for once he seemed so serious, and I guessed that the he really took the responsibility of being a father seriously.
"Is that her name, Mia?" I turned to look at the child, who was studying me with her deep green eyes, contemplating, I thought.
"Yeah, Mia Ingrid Potter" James grinned and kissed her ebony curls, "Isn't she a beauty?" I smiled at her and she smiled back, then buried herself in James sweater.
"Dada" I laughed at this and it broke all the tension, then stood up on my tip toes to kiss James briefly. He grinned that lopsided smile of his, kissed me back, then took my hand and led me off the platform.
On the other side only the Potters were left, sitting on their luggage and listening to Lily tell them about her year. As we came through the wall Ginny saw us and whispered something in Harry's ear, he turned around chuckling.
"Come on then guys, time to go home." All the other scrambled to their feet and turned to watch me and James approach, hand in hand, Mia on hip.
"Welcome to the mad Potter world" Scorpius greeted me with a grin. We all went home in one extended car, driven by Harry, and Al and Scorp made us laugh by taking the piss out of his driving. James seemed entranced by Mia, talking softly to her all the way home as she pulled on his hair, then yanked his hand on to her lap and fell asleep. The Potter house was an unexpected beauty. A small cottage in Godricks hollow, an all wizarding community, it had a pretty white front and black beams, as well as a thatched roof and small colourful front garden. Scorpius seemed to know it well, for when we arrived he leapt out of the car, grabbed his trunk and dragged Al inside. Next the blue haired man, "Teddy", whose hair was now green, much to my amusement, swept up twelve year old lily and began tickling her, before disappearing around the house in a game of tag or something like that. I stood up stretching, for the drive had been a long one for a wizard, and yawned. I felt James's hand snake around my waist and wrapped my own arm around his. It had amused me how much taller than me he was, 6 ft 1 compared to my puny 5 ft 4. We had always been civil, but he had been a bit of a prat when he was younger so it was only this year we had really got to know each other and began going out. He turned out to be lovely once he had calmed down, funny and gentle and a real pleasure to be around. This was meant to be the first holiday I would spend with him and his family, though I was sure if we stayed together there would be more. As we headed through the pretty garden towards the door Mia began to wake and fuss, I thought James might panic as it all went wrong but he soothed her qently and she soon settled down, he gave me a quizzical look when he caught me staring.
"You're good with her" I murmured, turning slightly red, James chuckled, reminding me of his father for a second.
"I've had to be" I got a glimpse of his world for a second, how hard it must have been last summer and exams when Mia was a tiny baby, even from the very little I knew of Harry and Ginny, I could tell they would have made him do all the work. "It was hard, but she's worth it" I turned red again, realising who obvious my silence had been.
"I'll help you with her" I blurted out, James frowned,
"You don't have to you know, she's my child, just because you're my girlfriend don't feel pressured in to helping with her"
"I want to help James, I want to get to know her" James smiled at this,
"Now that's another matter entirely, of course you can get to know her," He paused for a second, "C'mon, why don't you hold her for now, she's very easygoing, I'll go grab our trunks"
I panicked for a second
"But I've never held a baby!" James laughed at this,
"Neither had I! C'mon, its easy, here, yeah just support her bum and back, both hands for now, like that, good." I froze as he moved away but Mia didn't seem to notice and began babbling away to me instead. James smiled, "Look, she likes you already"
I turned to watch him go get the trunks and Mia's curls tickled my nose. James was right, she was easy going, not even noticing his absence. Holding her was easy too, she was heavier than I expected, but warm and her baby skin was soft. I pressed my lips to her soft curls, she smelt like baby shampoo and talc. James reappeared with both trunks, reminding me yet again how strong he was,
"C'mon, lets go in." James ducked under the doorway and I followed, well, I thought, heading up the stairs with a ten month old baby in my arms, this Christmas was certainly going to be interesting.