A Simple Prank
Summary: In which a simple prank leads to one of the most tragic events in Konoha history.
A/N: Just some silly one-shot. There's nothing special or very funny (despite the category) about it, I simply wanted to write it down before I continue my more serious things. I hope you enjoy it at least a little.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
"Heya, Danzo!" a happy Kagami cheerily greeted, walking to Danzo who was currently throwing kunai against a trunk.
Warily, Danzo backed away and his worst suspicions were confirmed, when a huge grin formed on the Uchiha's face.
"I have an idea," Kagami said in a sing-song tone.
"No," Danzo flatly refused, knowing what his teammate had in mind.
Kagami pouted. "You don't even know what my idea is!"
"Nothing good of that I'm sure," Danzo said, before turning his attention back to hitting the bull's eye painted on the trunk. He should have known better than to simply assume that Kagami would give up. After all, Uchiha were the epitome of stubbornness.
"You know that I won't leave until you hear out my idea," Kagami pointed out, for emphasis crouching down on the ground, crossed-legged, and crossing his arms.
Danzo gave him a glare, which could make grown men turn tail and flee, but unfortunately didn't faze his teammate at all. Resigning to his fate, he sighed and sat down beside Kagami, who shot him a triumphant grin. He must have killed his family in a previous life to deserve this…
"Though I hold no love for the Uchiha clan, I sometimes wish that I would have a teammate, acting more like an Uchiha," Danzo somewhat wistfully said.
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm as much of an Uchiha as you can get," Kagami declared, activating his Sharingan, which had never failed to make Danzo feel slightly edgy. Though they were all on the same side now, he still hadn't forgotten the tales said about the infamous Uchiha clan.
"Is there any reason for you turning on the Sharingan?" Danzo demanded to know.
Kagami shrugged in response. "It's good for threatening."
Danzo shot him an incredulous look. "That's a waste of good chakra if I have ever heard one. If that's what the Uchiha need their Sharingan nowadays to do, I shudder to think about its future."
"Well, that's a waste of good breath, if I have ever seen one," Kagami smirked as he mimicked Danzo's former tone. "It's also useful for other things as you must know," he said, while piercing through Danzo with his red eyes who immediately snapped, annoyed by the nervousness he felt.
"Would you turn off this Sharingan! It makes you look as if you're possessed by a demon!" he said angrily and bit his lip as soon as the words were out. Shit…
Kagami blinked before deactivating his Sharingan. "Well, if it bothers you that much," he said slowly, giving him an odd look, making Danzo feel the urge to defend himself.
"Don't you think it is suspicious that your Sharingan activated on the mission, in which you also burned down a temple to its grounds," Danzo said, a part of him wondering when exactly this conversation had started to take off into such a ridiculous direction, before he remembered with whom he was talking.
"Accidentally," Kagami was quick to correct. "Well, I'm not surprised to hear about your Sharinganphobia, your skin always takes on an unhealthy color whenever one of the Uchiha with their Sharingan on happened to be in your vicinity.."
"I do not have a Sharinganphobia," Danzo hotly denied.
The look his soon-to-be-dead teammate gave him was a touch too placating for his liking. "Whatever you say…"
A vein popped on Danzo's forehead. "I have not," he repeated.
"You wanna hear my idea now?" Kagami asked, obviously being bored by the current topic about Danzo's nonexistent(!) phobia of Sharingan.
"You wanted to tell me of your idea," Danzo pointed out.
"Well, whatever," the Uchiha said in a dismissive tone. "You know of Hiruzen's sensei, right?" he asked, ignoring the slight twitch of Danzo's eyes, whenever the name of his eternal rival was mentioned.
"Yes," Danzo gritted out. "It would be very strange for me to not know about the village's leader."
"Well, just checking," Kagami cheerily said. "You also know about his hair color then?"
"Yes, I do," Danzo frowned, wondering about the purpose of asking that question, if there was even one in the first place. "I know that you Uchiha are…proud about your eyesight but it doesn't mean that people with normal eyes aren't capable of seeing colors, if you haven't noticed so by now."
"Don't get your knickers in a twist," Kagami huffed. "Well, anyway, to answer my own question, he has white hair. "
It took all of Danzo's willpower to not say 'no shit, captain obvious'.
Now a positively devious smile formed on Kagami's face. "White hair as his is ideal for one thing."
"Which would be?" Danzo asked, despite knowing that he'd dread the answer.
"To dye his hair pink, of course," Kagami said brightly, beaming at his teammate as though he hadn't just suggested the most stupid thing ever.
"Has that something to do with this 'Senju-Uchiha rivalry' which is still going on? If that's the case, count me out as I definitely won't poke my nose into clan affairs," Danzo said pointedly.
"It has nothing to do with that," Kagami quickly assured him. "I just think it's funnier to do that on 'all stiff and stoic' people, like Tobirama-san."
Danzo looked questioningly at the Uchiha. "Wouldn't your clan fit the bill?"
"Don't worry, I'm planning to dye their hair next," Kagami said, a wicked gleam in his dark eyes.
"You're insane," Danzo couldn't help but point out.
"So I have been told," Kagami agreed easily. "So you want to join in?"
Never before had the recently formed village seed a shinobi Shunshined away that quickly. Kagami blinked before he simply shrugged. "Guess I have to bully Hiruzen into helping me again." And quickly he headed to the Sarutobi compound to do so.
Several hours later, one Kagami Uchiha handed several images of the Hokage with pink hair to his fellow clan mates, who all but thrusted their money into his hand before taking one of the images and going away, with a very unUchiha-like grin on their face.
There was one thought racing through his mind, best idea ever.
In the Hokage tower, Tobirama Senju was eyeing his hair critically in a mirror, the pink hair still being painfully reflected back by the mirror, despite him dousing himself with enough Suiton jutsus to extinguish easily several 'Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsus '.
"I knew that the Uchiha could not be trusted," he muttered under his breath, for the first time in his life being happy about the fact that his brother had died and not so much for the first time that Madara was dead too. Hashirama would have never let him live that down and especially not that Uchiha bastard, although said bastard might lose his position as the Uchiha bastard soon, if a certain other Uchiha so much as looked funny at him ever again. That was before he heard how the images of him were put to use.
Danzo was surprised to see his Hokage heavily drunk, laying before the desk, paperwork all but forgotten. It was very unusual for Tobirama-sama to get drunk in the middle of the day, although he had a sneaking suspicion about the cause, as he subtly regarded the Hokage's new hair.
"Dansle," the Hokage slurred, looking at the Hokage hat which he held in his hand.
"What is it, Hokage-sama?" Danzo inquired quietly, being sure that he had been the one the Hokage had addressed, despite the mispronunciation of his name and the way the Senju looked intently at the hat.
"You'll totally be Hokage, if you manage to massacre the clan," Tobirama promised, before fainting straight away.
Danzo blinked before he nodded, reminding his manners even when the Hokage was knocked out cold.
After Tobirama had recovered from the worst hangover he had had since he had secretly celebrated the death of Madara Uchiha with some of his fellow Senju clan members, he slowly rose and looked, listening to his gut feeling, out of the window. What he saw made him choke on air.
In a span of half an hour since he had woken up he'd swiftly change his opinion about at least one Uchiha, who he had discovered, to his great amusement, had dyed the hair of the whole Uchiha clan pink.
He snickered at the sight of the clan head, his black, spiky hair being as pink as the leaves of a Sakura tree. Tobirama made a mental note to himself to stop any attempts of the Uchiha clan to disown the Uchiha brat. He hadn't had that good a laugh, since Madara had once been forced to run through the village, half-nude, because of the consequences of an incident, involving sharp, pointy weapons, cats, old men, a redhead and very much alcohol.
Unfortunately, due to him barely remembering anything about the former day, courtesy of the great influence of sake on him, Tobirama had never told Danzo of his change of heart.