Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. The people that DO own Chuck would never allow something like this to happen. Take that as you will…
A/N: Okay guys, this is my first attempt ever at writing this particular genre of fic. Call it romance, or dirty, or smut, or just 'M' rated, I don't care, I just wanted to give it a shot. I tried not to get too graphic, but it is still what it is. I'd say a 'light M' but judge for yourself. If you are uncomfortable with sexual situations, then this is not the fic for you at all. Oh, and this piece was inspired by a conversation I had with Yokaputo so if you like it, she deserves the credit. She was also invaluable in giving be advice in beginning the writing of this. Also I have to thank sm93starbuck for giving me a final beta, and some awesome feedback as well. She did a terrific job, and if you find any mistakes, its only because I made so many that it was impossible to keep up. Before I end this, you should do yourself a favor and read the work both of these ladies have put out, as they are both very talented writers in their own right. Okay, enough of my rambling on, please enjoy Sarah vs. the Suburbs: What Might've Been. I look forward to your feedback. You guys are awesome. Peace.
He liked to believe that everyone else thought he was spontaneously witty, but truth be told, it took time to come up with such stellar lines. And so as he hit enter, and tried to ignore the disgusting bonding going on between his two teammates out in the testing room, he began formulating a fitting retort. Remembering what he was wearing, genius struck as he knew it would. Someone call the cable guy? That's the perfect line. He chuckled lightly to himself. And then he sneezed. The sneeze threw the shades from his face. The Intersect test wasn't over yet, but he looked up. Casey was immediately incapacitated.
This life has often led to difficult emotions. It's why I was trained to block out all emotions and all connections. I was never really good at that part. Oh, sure I can do my job better than anyone else in the world, but I can't just turn off my feelings, even if certain nerds would disagree. The truth is, I'm not a robot at all. I've fallen so ass crazy in love with this man, I don't know which way is up. And that is what has led me to the emotional rollercoaster of the past five minutes.
I was terrified out of my mind when he was being strapped in the very chair I sit in now. I was dismayed that those FULCRUM agents were telling him that I could never love him really, when I was powerless to tell him differently. I was heartbroken when I saw him sitting as still as death, making me assume that he'd met the same fate as all the others that had been tested. I was relieved when I saw his eyes snap open, and he came back to life. I was crushed when it looked like the brainwashing had worked, and all traces of my Chuck were gone; and even more so when I thought he didn't know me.
But all of those feelings are meaningless compared to what I'm feeling right now. I've never heard anything sexier than his whisper of "Close your eyes." And then he grabbed me, possessively pulling me into his chest. He held me, protecting me. His scent and his touch filled my conscious mind, making me forget the chaos that was going on around me. All of a sudden, it was just Chuck and me. As one of his hands ran through my hair pressing my face firmly into his body, his other gently took my left hand, caressing the faux wedding ring that adorned it.
And then I felt him look up and pull slightly away from him. I immediately missed his warmth and his smell, but I knew that his actions indicated that the deadly presentation was now over. I opened my eyes and took in the sight of him. Our gazes connected as his brown orbs and my blue peered into the soul of the other. And he asked me if I was alright, holding my face in his large hands. And had I not been strapped in that very second, I would have jumped him right then.
He quickly unstrapped me and pulled me to my feet, and I asked him the same. He replied in the affirmative, just as I had. Then our eyes locked again. My mouth became dry, and I all of a sudden found it impossible to swallow. And that's where I stand now: looking deep into the warm brown eyes of the man I love more than life itself.
Time seems to be standing still for us. I'm waiting for him to make the first move, just as I know that he's waiting for me to do the same. Intellectually I know that I shouldn't, and he shouldn't. Any second my partner is sure to burst through the door and spout some cheesy line to break up our moment. But he's still not here, and the moment is getting impossible to ignore.
If something doesn't happen to stop me in the next three seconds, they will have to pry me off Chuck with a crowbar. And just as I'm starting my count, I swear I can see him doing the same thing silently. One…two…three.
And it turns out he was doing the same thing, because while I'm launching myself at him, he lunges forward pulling me to him. I jump into his arms and he falls backwards into the Intersect testing chair as our lips crash together with thunderous passion. I now realize that this isn't like all of our kisses in the past. This kiss isn't one sided even in the beginning. We both know exactly what's going on, and now, as our lips continue their furious dance, our tongues have already begun their frantic exploration of the others mouth.
There is one other very noticeable difference about this kiss; this kiss is only the beginning. In the past, our kisses have been a culmination and a release. This time, it is step one to reaching release. I see that my thoughts on the subject are shared, when Chuck's hands begin to wander my body. He starts at my knees, moving both hands up my thighs that currently straddle him. His touch on my legs that have been left largely bare by the short khaki shorts I'm wearing sends a jolt to my core, and I know I'm ready for this to progress as far as it can. And I can tell by his growing bulge that Chuck agrees.
He breaks his lock on my mouth, causing me to gasp with the shock of breathing once again. That breath is quickly taken from me however when he kisses down my jaw line and moves down to my neck. Somehow he instinctively knows that spot right below my ear that drives me crazy, and he latches on to it. I moan loudly when he finds it, just as his hands slip underneath the hem of my shirt.
I feel my shirt start to be pulled up, and I lift my arms to allow it to be removed. Despite my efforts to the contrary, a small whimper escapes my throat as Chuck's lips part from my sensitive neck ever so briefly. The split second is enough to give me my opportunity to take the lead, and as I grind my pelvis down against his groin, he quivers beneath me and surrenders to my advance.
My nimble fingers make quick work of the buttons of his shirt and in no time, I have both it and his undershirt removed. I snake my hand behind my back and release the clasp on my bra, and as Chuck helps me complete its removal, he begins suckling at juncture of my neck and collarbone drawing his name to my lips in a desperate whisper.
"Chuck," I repeat hoarsely. His eyes snap up to look into mine, and I see the fear that exist there; the fear that I will stop this; regret this; deny this. This silly boy doesn't realize that I cannot do any of those things at this point. I'm well beyond the point of controlling my own actions. Instincts are now fueling my every move, and they're colored with the longing, and lust, and love that I've felt for him for so long now but have had to contain.
When I stand up, I see the panicked look on his face grow, and I can't bear to see him doubt my intentions any longer, so I pull him to stand with me, craning upward to catch his lips in another torridly passionate kiss. I feel him relax against me as his mind gathers that I was only moving us along. My usually shy nerd doesn't seem to be at all opposed when I begin to work on his belt. His hands are running through my hair and out of the way, and God every touch from him is perfect.
Once his belt is gone and his slacks have been unfastened those same large hands that had just been running through my blonde tresses are now moving southward, and fast. I feel my breath hitch as those long fingers of his slide inside my waistband when he starts to open my shorts. He has them unclasped in seconds and now he's slowly unzipping them. And this is the part where I'm so glad that I didn't have any panties that would work with these shorts because when the zipper reaches the bottom, I feel his fingers ever so briefly brush against my lips. It's been so long since I've had any intimate contact that just that small touch is almost enough to make me lose it right then.
I can see Chuck's surprise as he realizes my now completely nude form…I guess he wasn't expecting commando Sarah today. I use the moment of pause from him to rid him of his own pants and boxers. I take them both off, along with his shoes as he stands before me in stunned silence. As I move back upward, I press firmly into him, trailing my wetness up his leg; I'm marking him as mine, as he will soon do to me.
When I reach a standing position once again, I am greeted by a very welcome sight. He's even bigger than I had imagined. I swallow quickly, and circle my arms around his waist as I make a silent plea for him to kiss me again. He somehow hears my unspoken request and we kiss once more. While our lips are locked together, I turn so that my back is to the chair. I pull Chuck with me as I fall backwards into what I'd thought less than fifteen minutes ago would be the place of my death. Instead, I realize that this it will be where my life truly begins.
Wrapping my hand around the base of his length, I slowly but surely guide him into me. We both gasp as we feel the final connection of our bond finally formed. He's taking a moment to get the feel of my body, and in so allowing me the opportunity to get accustomed to his girth. It's in that moment that our eyes meet again, and I realize that I am now completely open to him, and he to me for the very first time. This passion filled act has not tapered off into desperate sex, as had always been the case with every man I've ever known in this way. The passion stays, and I realize that for the first time in my life, I'm making love to a man.
Our bodies take no time in learning the rhythm of our love, as we seamlessly adapt to this new, and yet all too familiar dance that our souls knew long ago we were meant to share. I've never believed in people claiming to have an out of body experience until now. But now that I'm with Chuck in the most intimate way, I know that I'm no longer within myself. My voice cries out in passion over and over, and his voiced pleasure is audible as well, but I hear both voices as if from a great distance. I'm far above all of this, and I know that Chuck is here with me.
When the pressure starts in my center, I come back to the reality of what this is. The hot flood of sensation makes its way to down to the edges of my passion just as I feel Chuck begin to stiffen above me. He buries himself deep inside of me and spills his very essence just as I reach my own release. We cling tight to one another as the aftershocks take hold, and only after several minutes does he pull back just slightly to look into my eyes.
I can tell that he's preparing to say something, but I don't know what to tell him in response. So I do the only thing I know how to do: I express myself physically. I kiss him; hard. I put every ounce of love and hope and trust that I for him into that kiss, and I only hope that he understands. What we just did may have consequences, but I can't give this up now. This, me and Chuck, this is now my reason for life. And Sarah Walker is a survivor.