"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a babysitter!"
James Tiberius Kirk, captain of the Starship Enterprise gave his friend a devilishly handsome smile.
"Please Bones?" Leonard McCoy sighed and grabbed the small girl's hand, pulling her to his side. The girl peered up at James through thick black bangs and he smiled back as his blue eyes met her chocolate brown ones.
"Now uh, she's supposed to take these before she eats and uh, I think she eats normal food."
"Geez Jim, " McCoy took the bottle of medication James held out to him and dragged his free hand down his face in a frustrated manor.
"What Bones? She didn't come with an instruction manual. How the heck am I supposed to know what Vulcan's eating?"
"What about that green blooded hobgoblin? Did you ask him?" James shrugged and turned away from the door, walked across the small gravel path and stood on a patch of grass before turning back to face his friend and the small Vulcan girl.
"Why don't you ask him?" He shouted back. McCoy grumbled and hit the button on the wall, causing the door of his ground floor apartment to slide shut.
They were on extended shore leave in San Francisco, 4 months leave to be exact and Doctor Leonard McCoy didn't know what to do with the free time. He hated having time to himself, it was just more time to wallow in self pity and dwell on his past. Though it was now 3 months into the shore leave, so only 30 more days to go until he was off the god forsaken planet and into the dangerous death filled unknown that is space.
"Oh joy." McCoy grumbled, grabbing the girls hand roughly and leading her into the kitchen.
"Well, what do you eat?" The girl just stared back at him with wide dark eyes. "Having fun staring?" She didn't answer.
"Fine!" McCoy opened a random menu on the replicator and hit the first thing he saw. It was some sort of instant pasta. "You'll eat this and if you don't it's not my damn fault." McCoy literally tossed the bowl of pasta onto the counter top along with cutlery.
Silence.
The doctor turned slowly, peering down at the Vulcan girl, who stared back at him.
"Well….?" He questioned a threatening tone to his voice. The girl quickly scrambled onto the tall chair and picked up the cutlery.
"That's more like it." McCoy smiled to himself and walked into the next room, he didn't need to spend his free time around another hobgoblin, damn it all if he let Jim pull another fast one like this on him. He dropped onto the couch and grabbed a half full glass of brandy from the night stand behind his head. McCoy chugged half of it back and sighed.
"Computer, play some sort of interesting program on something." Maybe he should have been more precise because the screen in the wall in front of him started to play some ancient episode of 'How It's Made'.
"What the fuck is a door knob!" He yelled frustrated at the screen, "Computer, something INTERESTING, please." Sports. Now that would do for now. McCoy sighed again and swallowed the rest of his brandy, what an uneventful day.
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"You're now the legal guardian Mr. Kirk." James was frustrated and hating himself more than ever, how could he have been so careless!
"Is there nothing I can do?!" He asked the man opposite him, a desperate tone in his voice.
"Is that your signature?" The man, who was boring enough looking, pointed at a dotted line on the paper in front of them. James looked down to see that all too familiar signature that belonged to him.
"Damn."
He was sitting in a small cramped office, in a large plush chair while a man sat behind a desk opposite him, twirling a pen absentmindedly in his hand. The man was so dull, middle aged and balding; thin with wire glasses and a pin-striped suit.
"Ok, how about," James dug around in his pocket until his hands gripped a familiar wad of bills. "how about you take this, and the kid and we pretend this never happened." Kirk placed the wad of cash on the desk and raised a hopeful gaze to the man in front of him.
"Mr. Kirk? Are you trying to bribe me into taking your child?" Kirk flushed and quickly repocketed the cash.
"Uh, no of course not."
"Mr. Kirk-"
"Please, call me Jim." He flashed the man a charming smile, to attempt to save himself.
"Jim, did you sign this paper?" Jim nodded solemnly. "Then by all law this is your child now, and she is your responsibility." James Kirk frowned and stood.
"Fine then, whatever." He turned and was about to leave when the man's words made him stop.
"Not 'whatever' Mr. Kirk, you are by law this child's guardian and if you fail to meet the requirements of a decent guardian she will be put in a foster care home," Jim shrugged, that didn't sound so bad. "And your license as captain will be revoked." The man continued and Jim felt his jaw drop.
"Wha-?!" The man smirked.
"It is on your file Mr. Kirk, if I get one complaint from anyone about how you treat your child. Children's aid will be called and you will receive proper punishment." Kirk swallowed and left the room.
"Good day, Mr. Kirk."
"Yeah. Whatever."