I remember when

TITLE: Those Nights

CHARACTERS: Alex Shelley, Austin Starr, Lacey, Chris Sabin

PAIRINGS: implied Alex/Chris, implied Austin/Lacey, Alex/Austin

NOTES: This was based on the Skillet song, Those Nights. The last block of lyrics is from another Skillet song called The Last Night.

DISCLAIMER: Alex, Austin, and the others are not mine, nor do I claim they are.

Alex Shelley sighed quietly as he rapped on the apartment door in front of him twice. A pause, then four times. Another pause and then twice more. The man stood awkwardly in the hallway and rubbed the back of his neck. He waved slightly at an elderly woman passing him. After what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only about twenty seconds, the door opened.

"Hey." Austin Starr smiled, his bright eyes half-closed as he surveyed the now-empty hallway. Empty except for Alex Shelley, that is.

The two-tone haired man smiled back sheepishly. "We had another fight."

Austin nodded, stepping aside to let Alex in. It had been a ritual for months. Alex lived with Chris Sabin, his boyfriend of close to three years. But, they hadn't been getting along well. Both of them were too attached to ever break up, though, and continued their unbalanced relationship anyway. Austin, being the only one Alex was close to, was his escape from his own torture.

I remember when
We used to laugh
About nothing at all
It was better than going mad

Austin slowly shut the door, sliding the lock back into place before crossing to the dark living room. Alex had already sat down comfortably on the couch and muted the television sitting on the small table. He offered a bright smile to the older man who sat next to him.

"Tell me what happened." Austin started gently, putting an arm around Alex's shoulders.

Alex curled his body into Austin's, as was their custom, and lied against the other man's shoulder. He laced the fingers of his other hand into Austin's. "I'm not really sure what the fight was about, but we tried to make up. I held him, he fell asleep, I snuck out and came here."

Another ritualistic matter. Alex had major insomnia. But it wasn't a natural sickness. It was his own forced sickness. It seemed like he left Chris in bed every night to spend hours with Austin before sneaking back into his own apartment an hour before the alarm went off to wake Chris up. He spent hours the next day napping, always telling Chris that he had left for a run or a gym trip to clear his mind in the middle of the night. Never did Chris ever guess that he was running to Austin's apartment.


From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all

"Hmm." Austin answered. "That's nothing new though." He smiled at his young friend. "Never anything new, huh?"

Alex sighed and nuzzled Austin's chest. "Exactly." He grinned up at the older man. "So, what do you think I should do?"

"I'm not sure, because I know that you'll just keep doing this." Austin joked back, leaning down to press his lips to Alex's.

Alex returned the small kiss. It wasn't new. And to the two of them, this wasn't cheating. Chris and Alex would be back together in the morning and no one would know. Except for the two of them. Plus, this wasn't about love. This was purely about comfort and need.

Austin pulled back for a moment. "What I think, is that you two should take a little break from each other. If you need somewhere to stay, you're welcome here, little Shelley."

Alex pretended to ponder that for a moment. "No, thanks, Starr. I'm not trying to be mean, but I want to stay with Chris."

"You say that every night."

"You ask that every night."


Remember when we'd
Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In a dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin couldn't help but grin. "Too true." He softly kissed Alex again. "And we've got such a good thing going anyway. No strings and all that."

Alex nodded in agreement, gently running his hand over the length of Austin's dark tee shirt. "Have you seen the new show on MTV?"

"Is it reality?"

"Yeah."

"Then no." Austin tilted his head with a small smirk. "Why would I?" He leaned down to turn on his radio. It made the night a little more bearable when there was no silence.

Alex smiled back at Austin. "True."

We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin sighed contentedly. "So, our road trip the other week. Chris mention it?"

Alex shook his head. "I told him we were scoping out a new indy territory. He said that sounded cool. He didn't want to come with."

Both men were silent for a moment, remembering hot nights spent in the backseat of Austin's sedan. Austin remembered the sounds Alex made when he was invaded, the small, breathy whispers of their lovers' names. "Chris…" "Lacey…" He thought of the way Alex's eyes turned almost green when he was lustful, the way his starkly contrasting dark and light hair stuck to his forehead when he was sweating.

Alex thought of the feeling he got when Austin gently traced his face, moving down his neck and chest. The way he felt so full with the older man inside of him. The way they couldn't call each other by their names during their lovemaking. No, not lovemaking. Purely fucking. Nothing more than that.

I remember when
We used to drive
Anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives

Austin smiled sadly at Alex. He lightly kissed the other man on the lips and gave him a small nip on the chin. "Chris never asks about the scratch marks on your back?"

"Lacey never asks about yours?" Alex countered with a teasing smirk. "No, he assumes they're from the ring."

Austin nodded. "Lacey thinks they're hers." He sighed and buried his face in Alex's two-toned hair. "And I don't really have the heart to tell her otherwise."

Alex nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head against the larger man's chest. "Can't let them know, you know?" He sighed also. "Do your parents know about me at all? Or do they only know Lacey?"

Austin bit his lip. "I've never told them that I've become your psychologist. But it never came up, anyway. They know you're a friend of mine." Again, he pressed his lips to Alex's. "And we can't let them know, either. I don't want my mom telling Lacey."


We were so young and confused that we didn't know
To laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die
Together we'd stand forever

Alex forced another sigh. "My parents don't even know that I'm gay. I'm too scared to tell them. My dad would disown me and Mom…Mom wouldn't understand why…"

"You can't just tell them that you love Chris?" Austin asked, biting his lip once more. "That fucking sucks, man. You should just tell them about you and Chris. They'd understand."

"You don't know my dad." Alex answered crossly. "He thinks that liking guys as any more than friends means that I'm never going to grow to see thirty. Because he'll kill me."

Austin nodded. "That's what I thought when I broke the news that I was bisexual. My parents didn't care that much, though. My mom was proud that I said something."

Alex sighed in frustration. "But it's different for you. You're in love with a girl. I'm not. I never have been. And I don't think my parents would be too understanding if I only wanted guys in my bed. Especially since me with guys won't give them grandchildren one day."


Remember when we'd
Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In a dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin nodded understandingly. "I get it. But, still, your parents deserve to know. Hear me?"

Alex sighed and buried his face deeper into Austin's neck. "I know." He whispered. "You're the only one who tells it like it is, you know that? That's why I love talking to you every night. You're great with advice."

Austin, flattered, pet Alex's hair gently. "Thanks, Shelley." He shook his head. "Too bad Lacey's coming back tonight."

"She is?! Damn it, how much longer?!" Alex whispered loudly, glancing toward the door, as if she was right outside it.

Austin glanced up at the clock. "About…forty-five minutes."

Alex sighed. "It's that late already?" He nuzzled Austin's neck gently, nipping at the tanned skin. "We don't have much longer, then. Let's get this started."

We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin wasted no time in cradling the back of Alex's skull, tilting the younger man's head back and pressing a kiss to his lips forcefully. It was only natural for the older man to be in control. His other hand traced the two-tone haired man's spine through his fitted black tee shirt and slipped into the top of his tight jeans.

Alex let out a low moan through his clenched teeth, one arm curling around Austin's neck as the bright-eyed man gently laid him across the couch. Alex pulled away for a moment, enjoying the feel of Austin holding him. "Oh…Chris…"

"Lacey…" Austin returned, staring down into the intensely hazel eyes of the other man. It helped that his eyes were almost the same color as Lacey's. And it didn't hurt that Austin's eyes were close to the color of Chris's.

Alex reached a hand up to tangle in Austin's short locks. "Take off my shirt, baby…"

Austin obliged, pulling the tight shirt up and away from Alex's body and setting it on the table next to the still-glowing television.


Those nights belong to us
There's nothing wrong with us

Alex returned the favor, laughing quietly when he placed Austin's shirt on top of his own. "Mmm, Chris…what a body…" He rubbed his palms over Austin's chest appreciatively. They soon returned to the dark curls on Austin's head as the younger man pulled him down for another soft kiss.

Austin smiled into the kiss this time, expertly removing his own jeans and popping the button on Alex's. Alex groaned, bucking upward as his pants were removed. Both pairs of jeans ended up on top of the younger man's skating shoes on the floor.

Austin pulled back for a moment, his eyes raking over Alex's lustful face. He kissed that beautiful face again, sucking a lip into his mouth to nibble on. When he released for air, he realized that Alex was already in his own fantasy world. The world where he and Chris didn't fight. The world where everything worked out the way it should. The world that he truly deserved.

And Austin also realized that all Alex needed was Chris to talk to him the same way he did.

But, his realizations were pushed to the back of his mind when he heard the breathy moan escape Alex's lips. Austin dove back into Alex's kiss.


I remember when
We used to laugh
And now I wish those nights would last

Alex groaned quietly when Austin's saliva-covered fingers thrusted into him. "Chris…fuck…Chrissy…"

Austin smiled and covered the other man's lips with his own. He continued his assault for a bit before remembering something else. "Baby…I need lubricant…"

Alex rolled his eyes back. "Mmm, left back pocket. Hurry."

Austin nodded as he coated himself with the gel from the tube he had found in the pocket. "Lacey…you ready?"

Alex nodded, wrapping his legs around Austin's waist. "Yeah. Yeah, Chris, do it now."


Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In a dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

The panting grew louder. It seemed as if the whole room was breathing. Austin lowered his face to Alex's and kissed him. "Oh, Lacey…"

"Mmm, Chris…" Alex returned.

Neither man at this moment remembered how this ritual had begun. It just…happened. One day it was a small hug of reassurance from Austin to Alex. The next was a small kiss on the cheek in thanks. The kisses became longer. They migrated to the lips instead. Alex needed to be held. Austin needed another warm body. After all, Lacey was always out with Rain, her best friend. The kisses grew deeper. Clothes were shed. A tee shirt here, sagging jeans there, shoes kicked off all-too-hastily. Alex seemed to let his jeans fall lower and lower each night he arrived. It grew to the point that the bisexual Austin couldn't keep himself from touching.

Until the day that Alex let the jeans fall off completely. And that was the same night that Austin took Alex's body for the first time.

And now they were at the point where it all became a ritual.

We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin panted heavily into Alex's hair. He knew he couldn't last much longer. One glance at the clock told him that Lacey would arrive at any time. "Mmm, Lacey…just a little more…"

"Chris, please…" Alex's hazel-colored eyes were wide and unfocused. "Please…"

That was all it took. The whiny, whispered moan sent Austin over the edge. "Lacey…" He growled into the curly, sweaty, two-toned hair of his lover. No, not lover, fuck buddy. Just fuck buddy.

Alex gasped out a name of his own. "Chris…oh…"

They lay, breathing heavily, for a moment. Austin jerked up violently when he heard the soft knock on his door. Lacey was here.


Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In a dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin shot a frightened look at Alex. "She's here." He whispered frantically.

Alex, eyes widened, nodded. "Get out of me."

Austin bit his lip with a whimper as he picked up his jeans and yanked them on. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, taking a deep breath. "Hide. Do something. I can't let Lacey find out about…this."

Alex waved him off, sitting up lazily, still completely naked. "Go answer the door before she gets suspicious."

Austin sighed. Alex was right. Lacey would be suspicious if he didn't answer the door soon. "Please, do something."

Alex smiled. "I will." He stood up to peck Austin on the lips. "Let her in."

We'd listen to the radio play all night
Didn't want to go home to another fight
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

Austin approached the door and opened it wide. "Lacey, baby." He whispered quietly, leaning in to kiss the brunette. "God, I missed you."

Lacey laughed. "What took so long?" She kissed him back. Austin buried a hand in her hair and tilted her head in an effort to give Alex more time.

"I was sleeping." Austin answered. "Sorry, I forgot you were coming home tonight."

Lacey raised an eyebrow amusedly. "Really? You forgot about me?"

Austin opened his mouth to answer when he felt a slap on his shoulder. He turned slightly to see Alex, fully dressed, if a little disheveled, and leaving.

"Thanks for the coaching, bro. I need to get back to my own baby and keep him warm. Have a nice night. Don't do anything Chris and I wouldn't do." Alex winked knowingly as he swung his black jacket over a shoulder. "See you later." He kissed Lacey on the cheek. "Nice seeing you again, pretty lady."

Those nights belong to us

There's nothing wrong

Lacey quirked a brow as she watched Alex sashay down the hallway, whistling. "What?"

Austin wrapped an arm around her and led her into his living room. "Don't ask, baby. I have to keep my secrets. Therapists' code and all."

Lacey giggled. "Austin, sometimes you're just too much!"

XxXxXxXxXx

Alex opened and closed the apartment door softly, making his way toward his and Chris's bedroom. He had realized something tonight. The way Austin acted with Lacey, that was what he wanted for he and Chris. He wanted a loving relationship. He wanted to fix everything that was happening. "Chris?" Alex whispered as he entered the bedroom. "Chris, baby, wake up."

Chris flinched, jerking awake. "Alex, what the hell? It's-" He glanced at the clock. "It's like, one in the morning. What's the matter? Where have you been?"

Alex neared the side of the bed. "Chris, I want to fix this. I want to stop the fighting; I want us to go back to loving each other again. Baby, can we do that?"

Chris looked into Alex's face. It was shrouded in shadows. "Alex…"

"Chris, Austin's been talking me through this. I want another chance. I want to make this right." Alex pressed his lips to Chris's. "I love you, Chris."

"I love you, too, Alex."

Alex shrugged off his jacket and tossed his other clothes to the floor so that he could climb into the bed next to his lover. He was tired of letting Chris spend his nights alone. This was the end of his nights out with Austin. This was the end of his rituals. This was it. Alex nuzzled Chris's hair as the other man snuggled into his chest. "I'm never leaving you alone again." He promised as they both drifted off to sleep. Alex and Austin's nights were over.

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be