A rolling stone gathers no moss.
The life and times of Andy the bomb.
Andy: Ever since I was conceived, my life has sucked balls. All there ever was to do was hang out with a bunch of stupid dirty shisnos. Guy ones, more guy ones, that alien thing, and some more guys. I hope they all die someday…
Interviewer: Why did you join the army Andy?
Andy: Join! I was fucking made while the damn war was going on! And if you call it a war, it seams more like a fucking social group. And the worst part is I only ever once got to do what I was made for!
Interviewer: What sort of odd jobs did you do while fighting for your country?
Andy: My country is the society for eating damn Chicken McNuggets! I have no fucking country! But, since you asked, I did a lot of stupid jobs around the box canyon and the windmill place. I was a translator, which sucked ass. Turned out the damn alien wanted some ship and to impregnate one of the stupid humans there, which was pretty hilarious if you ask me. And then I was a translator for some Mexican head, he was an ass. Then I kinda just sat around for a while and watched the idiots kill each other, if you can call it that. Then, I guess I was kinda used as a bomb.
Interviewer: Can you tell us more about some of the people that were there with you?
Andy: They all fucking suck. There is this read team, and this blue team. On the read team there was this red guy, he was stupid. There was this tomato can, don't really know what he was there for. Then there was this orange guy, he was kinda like me, only, not a bomb. They also had this lightish red guy, he was kinda annoying, so I didn't pay to much attention to him. And on blue, they had this ass hole named Church, which is the dumbest fucking name ever, he liked to boss people around, like a bitch. Tucker, he had an alien son, until I blew it up. Then there is Caboose, he was just fucking retarded. I think Tex was part of blue team, oh well, I blew her up to. Doc, he was a pussy bitch, I just don't want to see him there again. But then you have all those random fucks, who all died, or something. Lopez, he spoke Mexican, which is stupid. There was some O'Malley A.I thing, he liked to kill people, which is pretty cool I guess. This guy who had the same name as some lame state was there too, I think he was supposed to kill everyone there, but he sucked at his job. Shelia, she was this huge tank, who turned into a huge ship somehow, I don't know, I blew her up. There were a bunch of aliens, but I blew them all up. Then there was this dead guy, who was technically on blue team, but dead. Flowers or something was his name, never really met him. Also there was this girl there, in yellow armor, she was a slut. Yah, I think that's everyone, if I left anyone out, well, they can die.
Interviewer: Very interesting indeed. What did you all do for fun there?
Andy: I just sat around and listened to them all scream "SON OF A BITCH!!!" eighty times a fucking day while they killed their own team. It kinda sucked.
Interviewer: One last thing Andy, would you ever go back?
Andy: Fuck no.