O, Odin, what just happened? I'm still pretty damn buzzed, but I'm starting to sober up. Toki's asleep right now, I hope I don't wake him. He really can't handle his alcohol, truly. I drank twice as much as he, and I'm barely buzzed.
It started innocently enough. After work, everyone goes to the bar, gets fucked up, me and Toki go to some place he says will remind us of home. Well, I'm not from his home, but I go with him anyway. What the Hell? We get smashed. I can drink a lot and not bat an eye, but him. Odin help me, Toki is like a child. I spend most of my time with a drink in hand trying to look out for him. I don't really mind babysitting him, it's funny, really. He makes a real ass out of himself, I swear. Telling everyone he can how he's going to go solo. How his album will be called "Toki.' So cute. Poor baby would be nothing without me, but he doesn't realize that. For the best, I suppose. He'd quit the band if he knew...
But anyway, after a while I get bored. There's nothing to do there but drink and bother people, so Toki takes me to some place he's rented. A hotel room, that's it. He kept telling me he didn't want to go back to Mordhaus, but I don't care. Like I really want to run into the other guys as fucked up as they are. Nathan is always crazy when he's drunk, I just don't need that drama right now. Believe it or not, Toki's the least problematic when alcohol's involved. We drink even more when we get there, where he got that Bacardi, I'll never know, but I drink it.
Ok, this will sound weird, but he taught me how to hula hoop. Silly, right? I had no idea he knew how to do that. He reminded me of a girl, how his left hip bounced the plastic hoop like that. I tried it just because he kept bothering me about it, and found out, it's kinda hard. I can't allow Toki to be better at anything than me, so I wanted to learn. It can't be that hard, right? He showed me how to put my foot out and lean back and bounce it on my hip. When he slid his hand across my hip I didn't think anything of it, he's just showing me how to do it. Besides, the fucker had a drink in his hand. He was hula hooping WHILE drinking. Crazy. I figured it out after a few times and he was cheering me on, and I was laughing so hard I dropped it every time. He kept telling me how hard it was, and I just had to nod and say, "Ja." Whenever he drinks he says the same thing over and over, as if he were saying it for the first time. I learned long ago to just pretend to be fascinated by everything he says. Hula hooping is kinda fun, I have to admit, once I got the hang of it. I liked it when Toki saw how well I was learning. Fuck you, Toki, anything you can do I can do better.
So we drank some more and smoked some cigarettes, and then he went to draw a bath. I fucked around online for a bit, smoking, and then felt kinda weird being alone. I don't know why. I guess I was worried he passed out or something. He seriously can't handle his alcohol, so that's a valid concern, so I followed the sounds of the bath and came upon him in the bathtub. He had the door wide open, curtains open. I could see him in the bath, naked, but you know, it wasn't an issue. We're both guys here, no big deal. He doesn't have anything I don't have. He called out for me when he saw me and asked me to bring him some more rum, and I did. We took a shot each and he asked me if I wanted to take a bath. Without even thinking I said yes. It looked very warm in there. It was cold in the room, and, well, we'd been dancing and messing around all night, I felt dirty. He asked me, as if it was nothing, if I wanted to come in with him.
I must have been buzzed ,because I said yes. It didn't seem like a big deal to me. I told him I needed to go to the bathroom, and then I lit a cigarette. I actually thought I was being pretty slick, getting in a bathtub with another dude. Ya, I've slept with all kinds, but not often men, certainly not men I know. I like dudes, I guess. I don't know. It's all about the gossip for me anyway. What can I tell the guys that they haven't done, you know? I wasn't even thinking that the dude I was gonna bathe with was actually one of those same guys at the time. I just thought we were gonna sit in the bath and that would be it. I would have been satisfied with that. But as soon as I got in, Toki looked at me, and I could see in his eyes that we were going to kiss, so I kissed him. I took over his mouth, I swear, we were kissing forever. Our lips never left, even as we started touching each other. I thought nothing about shoving my hand down the bath water to his crotch and grabbing his cock. He was already hard, and he felt so soft, so good in my hand. I must have been drunk off my ass because I didn't think of him as Toki, a band mate, I thought of him as just a creature in my grip, moaning at everything I did to him.
And his hands, O, Odin, he knew just where to touch. We were still kissing as he got on top of me and pinched my nipples and groped my body. I swear, our lips never parted. After a while he remarked about how the bath water was starting to overflow so we got out. I got another cigarette while he dried off and flopped on the bed, and he asked me to get in bed wtih him. I took another shot of rum and climbed on the bed. My head was swimming, I barely knew where I was, but I knew enough to stick my finger up his ass. He liked that. I could feel his cock hard and erect, and I slipped in two fingers. He moaned and rubbed on me, and kept telling me how badly he wanted to suck my dick. I didn't answer him. I barely made any sound at all. to be honest, I just wanted to get him off and be done with it. I was impatient for him to come. I was so buzzed already, I was pretty numb.
God he was hot, though, his moaning and rubbing on me. I could feel his bare feet scraping on my legs, his toes tickling me. I felt his skin under my own toes, too. What's weird is that this seemed so natural to me. Like this was just some random guy I picked up.
Before I know it, he's sucking my cock, but I'm so drunk I can barely feel it. I can feel a few moments of stimulation almost like pain, and then nothing. He's enjoying it more than I am, but that's fine. When he lies back down next to me we're kissing again, and I'm shoving two finger inside him, searching for that spot. In the mirror beside us I can see his legs raising, kicking almost. I can see his face, mouth agape, eyes closed He's really enjoying it. What the Hell is wrong with me, then? I can tell I'm hard, but I can barely feel anything. It's like I'm on auto pilot.
He kept sticking his fingers inside me, and it hurt, but I didn't tell him that. I didn't want to break the mood. he even asked me if it hurt and I said no. I could feel his fingernails scratching inside me, but it felt good, too.
He asks me why I'm laughing and I don't want to tell him it's because I'm thinking to myself how many times has this happened to me, where I spend time alone with a straight guy, and all of a sudden, I'm rubbing on his cock? I feel pretty damn awesome right then if I can turn a straight guy gay.
He's too drunk to keep going, though, but it's ok, because I'm not going to come any time soon. I feel too weird. He asked me so many times if I would still respect him in the morning. Come on, Toki, just a little messing around. Odin, I'm drunk. I kept saying yes, of course. I said I didn't care, but I think he took that the wrong way. I meant that it's no big deal to me. So we messed around, so what?
I don't know. He's sleeping right now. We lay down together and I heard him snoring so I got up. He gets far drunker than I do. I need to lie down, though. I kinda hope he doesn't remember this. I don't know what I'm gonna say.