Issues Chapter one
This is a sequel of sorts to my story The Bargain. It takes place several years later, and can I think be read coherently as a stand alone.
Sam fans beware this does include Sam bashing, but keep hope all is not what it seems to be. Cynical
Daniel lay back with his eyes closed.
"I blame Sam." he said without looking up.
"Why do you blame Sam?"
"Because she killed me."
"And when you say she killed you, you mean."
"I mean, I looked into her eyes as she stabbed me through the heart."
"Okay, Daniel I want you to think about this logically, if Sam killed you how are we having this conversation right now?"
"Because of Oma."
"And who is Oma?"
"She is the energy being who helped me ascend when I died of radiation poisoning. She came after Sam killed me and I had waffles in a diner in another plane of existence."
"You mean you dreamed this?"
"No, Oma took the image of the diner from my memory to use as a buffer for my consciousness to understand and experience where I was. I wasn't ascended and therefore wasn't able to experience that plane as it was in reality."
"Of course, let's get back to Sam. Why are you mad at her?"
"I'm not mad at Sam, I love Sam she's one of my best friends. I never said I was mad at her, I just blame her."
"Because she killed you?"
"Because her actions set in motion and perpetuated a chain of events that led to my death at the hands of the replicators and because if she could get away with it I think she's seriously considered offing me herself."
"Why do you think Sam hates you this much?"
"Sam doesn't hate me; I just think that her ambitious side sees me as a threat."
"A threat to what?"
"A threat to her position, her reputation, basically she thinks I'm a threat to take her attention."
"But you're still on a team with her, still going on missions with her?"
"I trust Sam with my life in the field. She wouldn't gain anything from my dying out there; it's a reflection on her if I die and so she'll do her best to bring me home alive."
"Yet you still claim that she wants to kill you, has in fact killed you?"
"Let me put it another way, if Sam had to choose between winning the Nobel prize for physics and saving me from being murdered in a dark alley somewhere...well, let's just say she'd have a hard time choosing."
"Have you discussed this with Sam?"
"Of course not, are you nuts? Sam is a sixth degree black belt with years of practical training not to mention has a gun and is very good shot. I wouldn't stand a chance one on one, but denial is Sam's weakness she's good at hiding these aspects from herself as well as from most others."
"Then how do you see it?"
"I've met several of Sam's alternate universe twins and most of them are in touch with this ruthless side and aren't afraid to cross the line. My Sam would cross the line in a second as long as she was absolutely certain no one was looking and she could hop back over again without consequence. Sam cares far too much about what other people think. The danger to her reputation is all that's stopping her from fully acting on her ambitions."
"How do you know that?"
"I know Sam and I know what I saw when I was in Repli-Carter's head. As the supreme leader of a race of mechanical bugs she didn't have to worry about what people thought and sought what she wanted and took it. Fifth was competition, Sam should have realized this, but her denial of the darker parts of herself clouded her judgment. She should never have been allowed to interact with the replicator. It knew her weakness and exploited it."
"And you believe her weakness was denial?"
"Sam could never believe ill of herself, and therefore couldn't see evil in the replicator in spite of what it was. I'm surprised she even saw passed herself enough to realize it was her double that had taken me and why."
"Daniel, do you remember why you're here?"
"I've been having violent nightmares and I was hoping that talking about them would help me resolve what my subconscious is trying to tell me."
"Can you tell me what your nightmares are about?"
"I'm drowning in a Stargate filled with water Sam's standing on one bank with a branch trying to help me and on the other Sam is throwing rocks at me yelling at me to die for good already."
"Is that the only one?"
"No, there's one where Sam and I are racing for something, only I'm weighted down by these huge block pyramids and every time I get close to catching her up, the blocks get bigger. I look ahead to the finish line and Jack and Teal'c are there waving banners that say 'Go Sam!'"
"What else?"
"When I reach the end or the edge, whatever, I'm back in that replicator ship standing there with her stabbing me and I wake up."
"So your conclusion of these dreams is?"
"I blame Sam."
"How do you plan to resolve this?"
"I don't know. I don't blame her for her feelings I mean this is what the military has done with someone with Sam's ambition and talent. I blame her because she doesn't acknowledge her win-or-else attitude she covers it with her sweetness and light act and frankly I'm annoyed by it. I've known people with ambition before, all my life in fact, and they're willing to go all out and do anything necessary to reach the next rung on the ladder, but I respected them more because they acknowledge their behavior and make no apologies for it. It's the nature of the beast in academia. Sam knows it too, but she can't bear to have people hate her for what she does so she hides behind this false naivety and what's more even she buys into it."
"You've been with the program since its inception correct?"
"Yeah, I helped open the gate for the first mission to Abydos."
"And when did you meet Sam?"
"Not until a year later, when Jack came back for me. She was supposed to go on the first mission but West was a bit of a sexist and reassigned her when it looked like we were getting close."
"When you were brought on board?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"So in essence you replaced her and did what she couldn't do and in a fraction of the time."
"I never really looked at it like that, but I guess she could see it that way, but it doesn't matter."
"Why?"
"Because everyone thinks she's the one that opened the Stargate, and discovered how to make it go to other places. Everyone looks to her for the great idea to save the earth, and every word she speaks is taken as gospel. It's weird..."
"What is?"
"She still sees me as a threat even though she's subverted most of my accomplishments at the SGC and no one ever takes me just on faith."
"And you blame Sam for this?"
"No, that's just a typical reaction; I mean I'm the civilian I'm supposed to be meek and quiet and allow the big bad soldiers to protect me and save the world. I'm not meant to have the answer, solve the puzzle and save the world in the mean time. I'm not supposed to stand out, step forward and have an opinion and actually risk my life for those same big bad soldiers."
"So you feel under appreciated."
"No! Well, maybe a little, I don't care about the credit so much I mean, my career is in shambles anyway, I'm a disgrace in the real world. Here I'm a respected member of the senior staff and a member of the flagship team. But I'm still a civilian, in spite of the fact that I've learned to shoot straight and kill someone six ways from Sunday, I'm still not part of the military club and I don't want to be that's not who I am. But because of that I will never be taken as seriously by someone who is part of the larger military complex."
"This is a source of frustration for you?"
"Ya, think? Sorry I've been spending too much time with Jack."
"And Jack is?"
"Jack O'Neill, well, he was the commander of my team, but he was just recently promoted to General and became the man in charge of the base."
"And what is he to you?"
"Isn't that the question? I'd like to say Jack is my friend, but it's been harder to stay connected with him lately we're just at different points at the moment; I think he's having trouble readjusting to his new roles."
"New roles?"
"I think he saw himself as kind of a protector role for me, leader, big brother, father figure type thing, you know the larger than life male role model type. But I don't need that from him anymore, I've grown up a lot and I can take care of myself now, and what I want from Jack is different. I want us to be equals real friends, but he's still stuck with me as the naïve geek he took into his home almost a decade ago."
"You don't think he sees that you've changed?"
"I don't think he knows how to react to who I am now, so he's still reacting to who I was then."
"What about the other member of your team, Teal'c, is it? I understand you and he have some unresolved conflict."
"No, not really, Teal'c is a rock. We might have ended up mortal enemies, given that he kidnapped my wife and eventually killed her to save my life but I learned to redirect my animosity to its true cause; the Goa'uld. That's something we've always had in common. While Teal'c's quest to free his people has always been his ultimate goal, his oath to right the wrongs he's done me has given us the opportunity to become closer friends than two men with our history have the right to be. He's very easy to get on with and I trust him not only with my life but with my soul. But he's on Dakara now helping rebuild their government."