Title: Greg, Archie and Videotapes
Disclaimer: I love these characters and only borrow them from time to time. If anyone wants to sue me then they can have my cat.
A/N: This fic will make a lot more sense if you have read my previous challenge: Run Sara!
This is a response to the Weekly Improv Fan Fic Challenge. As always the first and last lines were provided.
"No Grissom, I'm not going to let you shave my legs," Sara replied.
Grissom furrowed his brow and gave her a piercing glare. "Sara I need someone, and Catherine isn't here. I'm not about to ask one of the boys."
Sara gritted her teeth and turned a page of the magazine she was trying to read. She refused to look at him. "Okay, why not ask Jacqui? Or some of the other women who work in this lab?"
Grissom grumbled. "I already have inquired with each of them. Sara please, I'm asking you nicely."
Sara rolled her eyes as she pretended to concentrate on the article in front of her. "And I'm saying 'no' nicely Grissom. You know the part where you said you were going to use a shaving cream that would give me a rash kind of put me off. No offense Grissom, but go shave your own legs."
Grissom stalked off without saying another word and Sara glanced up past her magazine smiling victoriously. A moment later Archie peeked his head into the break room. When he saw her sitting at the table, his eyes widened and he raced off without even saying 'hello'.
Sara frowned lightly and considered the fact that Archie had been avoiding her for over a week now. She wondered briefly if she had said something to offended him. He didn't strike her as the sensitive type. Perhaps Greg had been spreading rumors about her.
"You know he has been acting odd too," Sara spoke aloud.
"Who has?"
Sara groaned. Of course it would be Hodges. "Nobody," she muttered without looking up at him.
He didn't get the point. "I bet I know who you are talking about," he stated in that annoying voice of his.
"Yeah okay," Sara replied and took a sip of her water.
Hodges walked up and sat across from her at the table. He quickly looked behind his back before leaning forward to get closer to her.
Sara blinked. "Hodges that is close enough. Do you have something to say?"
He grinned wickedly. "Wellll, I sure do. I was just thought you would want to know why Greg is acting so strangely," he said in a syrupy sweet voice.
Sara glared at him. She pursed her lips tightly and tried to decide if she wanted to bite the line he was dangling in front of her.
"Come on Sara, you know you are curious."
"Alright. Spill it out Hodges. No playing around."
Hodges grinned at her. "I wonder if I should show you or tell you."
Sara growled. "Look are you going to stop wasting my time?"
"Okay. Well Greg has this video he has been showing around to the people in the lab, and well a few copies got made..."
"What does this have to do with me?" Sara asked confused.
"Well you're in it."
Sara cocked her head to the side as if deep in thought. Finally she said, "Are you talking about Archie's movie?" When he nodded she grunted. "Dammit Hodges. I already knew about that. Stop wasting my time." She raised the magazine up so that she didn't have to look at him anymore.
Hodges reached across the table and used his hand to lower the magazine once again. "There are certain things on that movie you might want to see Sara," he said with a wink before getting up and leaving Sara to her thoughts.
Sara resisted the temptation for five minutes before she finally gave up and went in search of Archie. He was sitting alone in front of a computer when she found him.
"Hey Archie."
Archie swung around in his seat looking horrified. For a brief moment Sara wondered if he was going to make the sign of the cross. "Archie I was wondering how that movie you made was going?"
He gulped loudly. "Well I am working on the erm final cut."
Sara raised an eyebrow. "Oh really because I heard there are a few copies of it around the lab?"
Archie's expression went straight from horrified to terrified. "Sara don't kill me. Please."
Sara shook her head confused. "Look I haven't even seen it yet. However, considering the way you have been reacting to my presence this past week, I think I do need to see that video. Hand over a copy. Now," she added in a no nonsense tone of voice.
Archie hung his head low. "Well I don't have one on me. Greg has the extra copies though," he whispered in a strained voice.
"Copies?" Sara asked even as she left him behind and went in search of Greg. It didn't take her long to find the eccentric lab tech. He was playing loud music and was bent over a table so that she couldn't see what he was doing.
Sara walked over to his boom box and turned the music off. She refused to scream over the noise. Greg instantly turned around to see who had disturbed his peace.
"Oh Sara my succulent sweetness. What a true pleasure it is to see you this evening. How may the Gregster be of assistance?"
Sara was about to answer him when she noticed what he was working on. "What the hell are you doing?"
Greg grinned. "Well I am sticking these office products into this Styrofoam. Its art."
Sara stared at the contraption for a moment before shaking her head. Time to get down to business. "Greg I want to ask you about a certain video I hear you have been distributing."
Greg's eyes widened and he started to race out of the room, but rammed into Warrick who was passing by. Warrick didn't budge but Greg flew back onto the floor. He quickly got up and tried to squeeze by Warrick who blocked him.
Warrick placed his hands on Greg's shoulders. "Dude, Greg whats up man? Its only Sara."
"She knows about the thing. The tape," he whispered frantically.
Warrick smiled. "Man I knew this was going to come back to haunt you guys. Face the music Greg," Warrick said as he pushed Greg back towards Sara, and then walked in the other direction as quickly as possible.
Sara meanwhile had watched the scene with some amusement. She had willingly volunteered to make the movie. What could be so bad that people were running away from her? She grabbed Greg and forced him to get her a copy of the movie. He sheepishly led her to his locker where he had ten of them stashed. Greg happened to be wearing a rather goofy tie today so Sara grabbed it and forced him to follow her to the nearest VCR which happened to be in the break room.
She popped the movie into the player and continued to hold onto Greg who had started to whimper like a wounded animal. A few moments later she understood why. In her shock of seeing herself come ass first down a tree, Sara accidentally let go of Greg's tie. She continued to watch at the camera captured her buttocks in all of their pantied glory. Sara rewound and watched the damning evidence six times before she could think clearly. She looked around and noticed that Greg had already run off. She would kill them all.
"HE HAS BEEN DISTRIBUTING COPIES?!" she roared out loud. In the distance Sara thought she heard a few screams of terror. She didn't waste anymore time thinking about the subject as she raced towards Greg's lab. He wasn't anywhere to be found. Instead she saw his "artwork" sitting on the table. Paper clips, erasers and post its adorned the flat piece of Styrofoam. The pens were lined up as if on parade.
The End. For Now.