The Sad Tale of the Prologue
New Arrival
Th ne aruvl swas stelth and true.
In the middle of the forest, a dark figure. Watch it move,
The Sad Tale of the Third Wife.
The third wife sat at her cooking pot in her tepee in the middle of the forest. She was cooking "gay", a local delicacy made from the bones of local albino children. She cackled hoarsely to herself, simply for effect. It was rumoured that she was insane, but she knew she wasn't. Outside a storm was raging. This is a metaphor. Really, it was a bright summer's morning; however, the locals were all in a clamour about a new arrival to the area.
The new arrival was as tall as he was brazen. In the centre of his oval shaped face was his contorted and crooked nose, under which lay a lop-sided mouth. His eyes sparkled with the light of a thousand stars! However, they were crimson as blood and untrustworthy. He stood, completely naked, amidst the villagers, who stared in disbelief at his member, which was white and hairy.
The third wife was not a pretty wife, but a rather plain wife. She had a large hooked nose like a Jews nose, but she was not Jewish, she was poor and lived in a tepee. This makes her a savage and an Indian. An Indian savage. Her face was the colour of red mud, as she suffered terribly from indigestion, and her eyes were permanently squinted as if she was constantly looking at the sun. Her hair was made from children's hair because she set fire to a dead moose and it exploded and burnt away her hair follicles.
Third Wife was not a nice wife, but a rather vicious wife. Whilst her husband tried to calm the villagers, she poked at them with sticks whilst chanting in tongues. This only added to the general commotion. However the joke was on her, as her libido would be her downfall. Whilst she had been taunting the villagers, she had left her "gay" to boil over. It flooded her tepee, and attracted vampires.
The new arrival smelt the vampires before they even started to arrive, because it was a vampire itself. It had the nose of a bloodhound, the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a rabbit and the posture of a monkey. It also had the heart of a boulder. Its heart never once did beat. This made it sad and lonely, and this loneliness turned to a deep malicious hatred for all Indians.
So. It was not long before all The Vampires. – Including the new arrival – had swarmed like a cloud of great white bees to the humble village. It was Third Wife who first spotted them. She cried "oh no! A group of bad vampires!" but as she said it in tongues, no one paid her attention. She was the woman who had cried vampire too many times. For short they called her Vampy. But not very often. As we said, Third Wife was a vicious one.
The vampires attacked with stealth. They sneaked upon the humble villagers like a heard of angry buffalo, but without the give away snorting. They liked children, but they also liked adults. Eventually, they decided to kill everyone. They were vicious with their killing, going straight for the neck and biting. Hard. This caused pain beyond the villagers' humble dreams.
But Third Wife, who was neither brave nor true, hid in a near-by bush. She held her breath, cowardice coursing through her like the very blood the "cold ones" sought.
But Third Wife was not a very good hider, and her hiddenness was in vain as they soon found her. They dragged her out by her elongated earlobes and cried "dance around the third wife, don't she stink? Don't she smell? Stupid little Third Wife, she cant spell."