After 12 years, Jude and Connor had literally been through everything together. Middle school, high school, college, graduating and getting jobs. They'd been through Jude's coming out and Connor's many girlfriends and the heartbreaks that followed. 12 years had made the two of them very close; closer than you would expect best friends to be. Their relationship was one you might think was untouchable. And yet…
Underneath the surface were things bubbling that only Jude knew existed. Connor was his best friend yes, but Connor meant so much more to Jude than that. Jude hadn't been able to avoid the pitfall of falling in love with his (straight) best friend. He couldn't help it when Connor's face crinkled up when he smiled, or when his eyes lit up when he laughed, or when he was just so dorky despite being an athlete/jock type. And as such, the last year had been really hard on Jude. That's how long Connor had been dating his girlfriend, Lisa. They were really in love, or at least that's what it looked like to Jude. It was hard for Jude to be around Connor without wanting cry (or maybe punch a wall; it depended on the day). But at least, now that Connor had moved in with Lisa and out of the apartment that the two of them used to share, Jude didn't have to see him so often. Maybe time would help him get over his heartbreak.
It was a Friday night, and as Jude usually did, he was laying on the couch, the TV remote in his hand as he surfed Netflix looking for something to watch. Somebody knocked on the door of his apartment and Jude didn't move, grunting something about the door being unlocked. Connor burst through the door, leaping over to the couch, settling down on top of Jude's legs.
"Really Jude, again?" Connor chided, examining Jude's setup. "Another Netflix Friday night? Come on you have to get out of this apartment! You'll never meet a guy if you just stay here!"
Jude rolled his eyes; ever since they started high school Connor had constantly been pushing Jude to go on dates and find a boyfriend. Not that Jude had any interest in those things. Personally, Jude thought it was funny how Connor cared more about his love life than he did. But he couldn't just tell Connor why he didn't want to date; that would kind of ruin everything. So he lied and told Connor he just wasn't finding anyone interesting, or nice enough, or whatever excuse he felt like throwing out.
"Whatever," Jude mumbled in reply, ignoring the shooting pains in his legs from Connor's weight. It was a little pathetic actually; Jude made a point of cherishing and enjoying any physical contact he had with Connor, so even though he was in pain, he wasn't telling Connor to get up.
"No it's not whatever," Connor said. "As your best friend I'm not going to let you spend all of your time here alone and miserable."
"I am not miserable," Jude protested weakly.
"So you keep telling me," Connor chuckled. "But anyway, we need to get you ready, we're going clubbing tonight!"
"A night of alcohol, sweaty people, loud music and worst of all, girls I have no interest in hitting on me? Sounds like a nightmare no thanks. Besides, don't you have a girlfriend to attend to?" Jude chortled. Connor gave him a crooked grin, mischief playing in his eyes.
"Oh no, don't think you're getting out of this that easily," Connor giggled. "Lisa was the one that told me to get you out of here first of all, and second of all, no need to worry about girls, you and I are going to a gay club."
"Really, how are you gonna manage to take me to one of those? You're not gay Connor."
"I can lie easily enough," Connor shrugged. "This night is about getting you out there anyway, not me."
"I'm still not going," Jude asserted. All that was going to happen was that Jude was going to turn away every guy that came up to him, Connor would get exasperated and probably yell at him, and honestly it just wouldn't be any fun for either of them.
"Please Jude," Connor whined, flashing his puppy dog eyes at Jude. Jude scowled, cursing Connor for using that against him.
"Low blow Con, low blow," Jude complained resignedly, sitting up and motioning for Connor to get up. "Fine, have it your way, I'll go."
"Okay, now we just need to get you dressed, because this," Connor said, looking Jude up and down as he emerged from the blanket he was underneath, "is just not cute."
"Would you shut up," Jude quipped. "I know this isn't cute, okay?"
"Oh um, wear that blue button up," Connor suggested. "You look really cute in that."
Jude shook his head; Connor had been making comments like that for years, but they were just enough to keep Jude's heart holding onto that thread of hope that maybe Connor liked him the way he liked Connor. He went into his room, tossing on black skinny jeans and the blue shirt, quickly tousling his hair into something presentable, going to step back out into the living room before stopping. Connor was shouting, and Jude really didn't want to get in the middle of whatever it was they were arguing about.
Connor was ticked off at Lisa. When he left the apartment she was all for this night out with Jude, but now, well she wasn't so into the idea.
"You're taking him to a gay club?" she asked incredulously.
"Why do you sound so surprised, I mean Jude is gay," Connor explained.
"Yes but why do you have to go with him to a gay club? Jude's 24, he can go by himself."
"He wouldn't go if I didn't go with him!"
"I don't want you in a gay club," Lisa said flatly.
"Why not, you think they're going to turn me or something?" Connor joked, given that it was utterly ridiculous that—
"They might!"
"Oh my God that was a joke, that's not actually the way sexuality works Lisa," Connor groaned.
"That's not the way it seems, what with all the time you spend with Jude."
"He's my best friend Lisa, and he has been for twelve years! The time I spend with him has nothing to do with my sexuality why would you even think that? I'm straight, and the fact that he's gay and I spend time with him doesn't change that! I just don't get why you dislike him so much!"
"Because I feel like he's more important to you than I am!"
Connor winced; she was right. Jude was definitely more important to him, and he probably always would be. Connor was never sure what his feelings were for Jude; he never really looked at him the way he looked at girls and yet, he still always had this strange feeling in his stomach when he was around Jude. Make no mistake: he was almost definitely straight, and he liked Lisa a lot, but he never got the same feeling he had around Jude. He never had that with another girl. But now was not the time to go around with Lisa on this. Jude would be walking back out any second and he was not having this argument with Jude listening in.
"I can't do this right now, we'll talk about it later," Connor mumbled, hanging up the call as Jude walked back out into the living room.
Jude had heard the argument winding down, so he decided it was safe to reappear. Connor had a confused, deep-thinking look on his face when Jude stepped into the living room, but that was quickly erased by a smile.
"Let's get this over with," Jude muttered, following Connor out the door.
Connor sat down in the booth that Jude had found at the club they were in, clutching rather large drinks that Jude didn't recognize.
"What's in those?" Jude asked.
"I dunno," Connor shrugged. "I just asked the bartender to give me something with a lot of liquor in it."
"I don't want to get wasted Connor," Jude insisted. Jude hated hangovers, and he did not want to end up with one tomorrow.
"You really need to let loose Jude," Connor goaded. "Just have a couple drinks and see what happens!" Jude stared at the drink sitting on the table in front of him, debating whether he should. One night wouldn't hurt, right?
"Fuck it," Jude muttered, taking the drink and knocking it back in a couple gulps. Connor giggled, taking a small sip.
"Jude, the guy said that's like the equivalent of eight shots, I can't believe you just downed the whole thing!"
"You want to me to let loose? Well I'm letting loose," Jude responded.
They sat at the table for about an hour, Connor slowly sipping his drink as Jude just got more drunk, when there was an announcement made over the booming music in the club.
Welcome to karaoke night everyone! The mic is now open for anyone who would like to sing.
"Aww, Jude man, you should sing something!" Connor exhorted.
Now normally Jude would've said no. But normally, Jude also wouldn't have had eight shots of alcohol.
"Why not?" Jude slurred, standing up and stumbling over to the mic, yanking it from the stand and looking over at the screen for something to sing. There was one song in particular that popped out to him. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift. It was literally the story of his relationship with Connor. Had he been anymore sober, Jude wouldn't have touched the song in a million years, but he wasn't more sober, so he stabbed at the display, selecting the song and listening as the twang of the guitar floated out through the speakers.
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
As Jude sung the words (badly it should be known), he looked over a Connor, staring him down as they locked eyes, Jude trying to communicate to Connor how he meant every word he was singing.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming 'bout the day
When you'll wake up and find that what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time
If you can see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me, you belong with me
As Jude finished the chorus, Connor had stopped looking at him. Instead he was intently studying the empty glasses in front of him, nervously playing with the straws left in them. But Jude kept singing.
Walk through the streets with you in your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it 'ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy
And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine I know you better than that
Hey what ya doin' with a girl like that
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming 'bout the day
When you wake up and find that what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time
Connor couldn't believe what he was hearing, what he was seeing. It was one thing for Jude to be singing this song, but another thing entirely for him to sing it with his eyes on him the whole time. Jude was singing about them. And Connor found himself frozen by fear; the lyrics made too much sense.
If you can see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by you, waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me
Jude's eyes narrowed as he sang the words "all this time how could you not know" and something clicked for Connor. All this time and Connor didn't know just how Jude felt. But he didn't know how he felt, how was he supposed to know what Jude was feeling?
Oh, I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by you, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong me
Jude closed his eyes and he sang the last few words, steeling himself for what was going to happen when he walked off the stage.
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me
The music ended, and the club applauded politely. Jude opened his eyes, finding the booth that Connor had been seated in was now empty.