Chapter 1

Love is for the weak. Love is fleeting and once it's gone it brings nothing but pain and sadness to its unfortunate victim. I will never understand it. Love is useless. Love hurts. Love is for the weak and stupid. I don't need it. I'll never understand why some people dream and hope of finding someone to love. They're just setting themselves up for hurt. Love is for the weak.

I repeat this over and over in my head as I walk past him. I can feel his gaze on my back; a queasy feeling suddenly appears in my stomach. Goosebumps run down my spine making me feel even more uneasy than I already am. I can't stand the awkwardness and the nervousness that comes very time I see him in this god forsaken District. I sigh quietly as the feelings and memories of that day all come running back to me. I had managed to push them to the back of my mind for the past week but not, that I see him, they force their way to the front of my mind.

"What did I do?" He had asked. There was a pain filled expression on his usually lovely and calm face. Dark clouds had started rolling in making the scene gloomier than it had to be. A flash of lighting illuminated his pain filled face followed by a clash of thunder. "Please, tell me why."

"I – I'm sorry." I whispered. I turned around, grabbed my bow and arrow, and began running back.

"Katniss!" Peeta called. I heard him run after me. He reached for my wrist and pulled me back to him. "Katniss, please." He whispered. His face was close. Too close. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.

"Let go." I said, it was meant to sound firm and strong but all that had come out was a whisper that was as soft as the wind. "Please, let go." His grip loosened.

"Please, don't go." He says. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I bite my lip. I can't stand seeing him like this.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "We can't be friends anymore." The words feel wrong.

"Why?" he whispers. Why? Because I'm scared. Because I don't deserve to be with you. Because love brings nothing but pain. Just look at with it did to my mother.

"Because I don't want to see you." I had said. He lets go of my wrist. "We will never be – just, leave me alone, Peeta." And I ran.

Now that I think about it I should probably have left him closer to the fence. He might have gotten lost in the woods. But then again he seems to have made it back okay. I begin to walk faster in order to get away from his pain filled stares.

I'm thankful that I don't have any classes with him. Well, except for Music class. It seems that they choose to stick us both in the same Music class every year. I've tried to get out of this class twelve times in the past week alone but. . . The past week. So it's been a week since I hurt him. A week since I told him to leave me alone.

"Katniss." Someone says. I look up from my shoes. Madge.

"Hi." I say. She motions for me to follow her to the back of the class. I guess this is where we're going to be sitting for today. Madge and I always seem to get stuck together. You would think that since she was the mayor's daughter she would have more people to sit with than a girl from the seam.

I'm sitting quietly, focused on the lesson, for about ten minutes then the thoughts of Peeta resurface. History class gives me nothing to think about, no problems to solve like in math, no books to read like in reading class, just countless of stories from the past. And it is the past I'm thinking of. But not of Panem; of Peeta.

In the middle of class, the teacher closes her book. She tells us we can work on our homework or just talk for the rest of the class. I don't like this. The lesson had given me something else to try and focus about but it seems now that the lesson is over and my homework is done, my thoughts want nothing more than to be filled with those of Peeta.

"Katniss." Madge says. I turn my head toward the left expecting for her to ask me about a homework problem that I probably don't know how to solve any more than she does.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Why do you look upset?" Her voice is soft, calm.

"I. . ." I consider lying to her. Wouldn't it be better to say that nothing is wrong? That I'm just tired. That nothing is wrong. That what happened with Peeta over the break is nothing. But how can I tell her that when she trusted me completely? She told me about the boy who cheated on her five months before. She let me see her cry even though we weren't necessarily best friends at the time. But now we are. And you talk to a best friend about problems such as these right?

I lower my voice to just above a whisper. "It's Peeta." Her eyes widen. She looks around the room then back at me. We'll talk about it later, in private, if you want, her look says. I nod and smile lightly. She momentarily places her hand on my shoulder then begins working again.

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I tap my foot repeatedly as the music teacher goes on and on about vocals and such. My eyes keep drifting to the empty seat three chairs down then to the door. He's not here. A Part of me is thankful for his absence but the other part is worried. Is he sick? In trouble? Or did he just skip this class because of me? I scowl. Why should I be worried? It's stupid. I should just forget about everything. What happened means nothing. I just had to tell him the truth. It wasn't fair to Peeta. He had to know I could never love him. A sigh escapes my lips.

"Katniss," the teacher says. He trusts a book toward me. I look up at him, a bored look on my face.

"Yes?" I ask.

"You seem bored." He says. "So sing this. You can sign right?" I look down at the book he holds out. The Valley Song. Why is it that this is the only song that we ever sing? Sure, there are lullabies, the anthem of Panem, but this is the song that we sing the most often. Maybe it's because it doesn't imply anything rebellious.

"No," I say. "I can't." Ever since that first day of school all of my music teachers have been desperate for me to sing in class. I don't understand why. What have they to gain from it? He pursed his lips and turns away. He asks me to sing at least once a week each ending the same way.

I feel relieved when the final bell rings and I can leave. I gather my stuff quickly and head to Prim's classroom. Normally I would meet her outside but during lunch Madge had asked me if I would like to go over to her house to talk. I had agreed to go and now I need to tell Prim. I turn the corner to Prims classroom. She's talking to someone. And he's not a sixth grader. Prim looks upset as Peeta tells her something. She frowns and wraps her arms comfortingly around him. He pulls away a second later and turns to leave, giving Prim one last wave.

"Why was she talking to Peeta?" Madge suddenly asks. I hadn't realized she was standing behind me. I shrug.

"They were friends." I say.

"Katniss!" Prim calls. A smile appears on her lips as she runs towards me. She appears to have no idea that I was watching her and Peeta interact. Good.

"Hey little duck," I greet. "Can you manage walking home by yourself? I'm going over to Madge's but if you don't want to walk alone then –" Prim shakes her head.

"Actually, I kind of wanted to go over to a friend's house too," She says with a sweet smile.

"That's great." Madge says. "Now you won't have to walk home alone." Prim nods.

"Well, I'll see you at home Katniss! Bye!" she gives me a hug then turns to leave. I expect her to walk out the main door at the end of the hall but instead she goes out the backdoor. The one that leads to the main square. The door Peeta used.

"You don't think. . ." Madge trails off. She, too, is watching the door Prim left from. I shake my head.

"No," I say. "She wouldn't. She's afraid of his older brother." Madge nods.

"Rye is scary – but he's cute." She smiles. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Come on, let's go." It's always like this when we're alone. Madge lightens up and acts like the other girls and even I crack a smile and joke around. But we never gossip. Gossip is something we can't stand. We've both been the main subject around the school – other that the reaping that's in two days that is. Madge and her boyfriend of two months had recently broken up causing quite a stir. Then there's me and Peeta. We have been seen together a lot the past month and people have begun talking about it. But now people are talking even more, wondering why Peeta and I aren't talking.

"So what happened?" she asks as we reach her house. I look down at my shoes again, scowling. Yes, what exactly did happen?

"I took Peeta to the woods." I start. Madge raises her eyebrow. She knows about my hunting – practically all of District 12 knows – but she also knows that I rarely take people out there. "He asked." I shrug. Madge motions for me to continue as we walk up the stairs. I've been over the Mayors house a few times before to work on different school assignments with Madge so I'm used to it. "I showed him around a few times then right before school started Peeta –"

"Tried to kiss you?" she asks. My eyes widen. I shake my head quickly.

"N-no! No. Why would he do that?" I ask. Madge turns her head to the side, confused. A second later a smile appears on her face. We both know why. Peeta loves me. But I can't love him. Love leads to marriage, marriage leads to children, and children are something I can never bring into this world. Not with the reaping. Madge knows this.

"Oh, Katniss." She sighs. "Continue."

"We started talking and he started talking about us." I say. I look around Madge's room in order to avoid her gaze. "He told me that everyone at school thought we were together."

"Why is that bad?" she asks. I sigh.

"It made me feel . . . a little weird." I say. "Especially because Peeta seemed a little happy at the idea. . . what?" Madge lifted her hand up to stifle a laugh.

"Oh Katniss!" she laughs.

"It's not funny." I scowl. "Do you want to hear the rest or not?" She quiets down and asks for me to continue. "He told me he loved me again and this time I just . . . couldn't. I felt awful because he must have thought I loved him to. And that's when I told him we shouldn't be friends anymore. I told him we had to stop what we were doing – people were starting to talk after all. But he was so upset, he asked me why – I think he thought it was his fault – but Madge I can't be with him."

"Why?" she asks. I sigh. I grab one of the pillows that lie on her bed and crush it to my chest.

"I don't want to fall in love. I don't want to get married – and I certainly don't want to fall in love and marry Peeta!" Madge smile disappears. I sigh again knowing how mean I just sounded. "No, I don't mean it like that – it's just that –"

"Gale?" Madge asks. I look up at her.

"No." I say. My voice holds no emotion. "Gale is just a hunting partner – a friend."

"Is that really all?" she asks. I've known Gale for a few years now. He's one of the few people who I'm actually comfortable being myself around. He's my hunting partner. We help each other. But there's nothing romantic between us.

"Yes." I say firmly.

Yes. It's another story. I plan on finishing this one rather quickly. I already have most of it written now i just have to publish. Tell me what you guys think please! :)