A song fic about Quinn Fabray's life in high school. Bear with me on this one, the idea popped into my head suddenly. Twenty points if you can guess the song! ;) Reviews are love!
I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
When I was a bitchy cheerleader my life was perfect. Or so I believed. I had the perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, a perfect family, perfect grades. A perfect life. Everyone either wanted me or wanted to be me. All the boys were in love with me. Especially Puck. Puck… A smile appears on my face as I remember him back then, crazy asshole womanizer that he was. Best friends with innocent, sweet, stupid Finn. My then boyfriend.
My smile fades as I think of Finn, or Finnocence as Santana used to call him. He was in love with me. I know he was. Please, every guy was, I think as I roll my eyes and smirk. Then it all went to hell. But that's a story for another time.
When I was the head cheerleader, everyone feared me. I could insult someone one day and everyone would avoid them like the plague the next. I would send girls to the bottom of the pyramid just because I felt like it. But everyone loved me. I was the most popular girl in school, even though I made people miserable every day. Especially RuPaul. A grim, slightly remorseful smile twitches at the corner of my mouth as I think of what I called her. What I did to her. She above all else had reason to hate me, and look at us now. It's amazing what a few years does to a person. A person like her, a person like me. Because underneath, we aren't really that different. We all just need to love and be loved. And yes. I know. Who ever thought they would hear those words come out of Quinn Fabray. But they're true.
And I discovered that my castles stand upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
I remember that night. It's a little hazy, but I guess anything would be when you're drunk on wine coolers. But, to be honest with you, I wasn't that drunk.
I remember Puck finding me, sitting on the bleachers long after everyone else had gone home, crying. Because I had gained one pound from last week and Coach Sue called me fat. Because Santana and Brittany, my supposed best friends, had both lost two pounds and laughed at me. Well, Brittany was probably only laughing because Santana was, but it still hurt. Because I had seen Finn with that stupid bitch from Glee Club and looking at them, they looked like a couple. Because I thought no one loved me.
Puck took one look at me and sat down next to me, not talking, just sitting. Eventually I poured out my heart, and he looked at me and told me I was beautiful. That might have been my favorite part of the day. He took me home to his house, and we started drinking, because he told me that drinking takes your pain away. And he was right.
We ended up having sex, partly because I was drunk and he told me I wasn't fat, but partly because when he kissed me I felt fireworks. Unlike when Finn kissed me. We had sex because he was there and he comforted me and told me I could trust him. No one would ever find out. Our little secret, baby.
And then I got pregnant. And it all went to hell. I was kicked off the Cheerios and I became one of those social outcasts. My parents found out and kicked me out of the house. Finn found out and broke up with me in one of the worst moments of my life. I'm done with you. I'm done with all of you. I could tell at that moment that he hated me. No one had ever hated me like that before. My life began to crumble. Everything that I had had before was gone. Just like that.
Now in the morning I sleep alone
I blamed Puck, because, really, you need a scapegoat. You can't blame yourself; otherwise you'll go crazy. He was there; it was easy to blame him. I told myself he took advantage of me, never admitting that I had wanted him. Never admitting that my first time had been all I ever wanted. If I thought about that too much, I would, maybe, feel myself start to fall for him. And that was crazy. So I told myself it was because I was drunk and felt fat. I told him that too.
I told him he was a Lima loser. He'd never make anything of himself. He got this look on his face… the memory pains me even today. When I think of that look… But no. Finn was the one I would raise my child with. He was my boyfriend, after all. And since he was stupid enough to believe he got me pregnant when we'd never even had sex, so much the better. I chose him. Because he was dependable. And because I had to uphold my reputation.
Because Puck was too scary for me. After Finn found out, I tried. But, like I knew he would, he failed me. He sexted Santana when he was babysitting with me. And when we sang Papa Don't Preach, I had thought the looks he gave me… were looks of … love.
There. I said it. I made myself believe he was in love with me. Damn hormones. After I found out, I pushed him away. Because he would never be good enough. None of them would ever be good enough. I pushed them all away. Because the only person you can ever trust not to let you down is yourself. And one by one, they all left me.
Finn fell in love with Rachel. Brittany and Santana became the two most popular girls in school and forgot about our promises. "Unholy Trinity, together forever." Even Mr. Schue stopped trying to help me. He was always too absorbed with his wife's pregnancy anyway. Or fake pregnancy, rather.
The only one who never truly left was Puck. He stayed on the sidelines, watching everything. Watching me. But he had proved to me that he couldn't be faithful to me. So I was alone.
People couldn't believe what I'd become
I used to be Queen Quinn. Now I was an outcast. Alone. Slushied, pushed down in the hallways. I heard the whispers. Whore, cheater, slut. I was the lowest of the low.
I walked through the hallways and people looked at me like I was a pariah. They couldn't believe that the fall from glory would be so hard. I suppose everyone always assumed there would be one, like being demoted from head cheerleader.
Getting pregnant because you cheated on your boyfriend with his best friend. Even I was disgusted by myself.
I hated myself. And everyone hated me. So I withdrew from the world, trying not to let the whispers and rumors touch me.
But they did. And they hurt. I was that girl, the perfect girl who all of a sudden wasn't so perfect anymore. Everyone judged me. They didn't know it was my first time. They didn't know anything about me.
That's why I went punk at the beginning of senior year.
But that was when I ruled the world
But that was all sophomore year. One hell of a year, that's for sure. I got up off my bed and walked over to my full-length mirror. I smoothed the imaginary creases on my dress and looked at the girl in the mirror. She had a slightly worried expression, but other than that she just looked happy. Because it's true, I was happy.
I heard a knock on my bedroom door and my date for senior prom walked in. His jaw dropped as he stared at me in my lilac dress.
"You look beautiful," he said softly. I blush slightly, his familiar smirk coming to his face as he watches my cheeks turn red. He was the one good thing to come out of that year. I never imagined that this would've happened.
He holds out his hand and I take it. He leads me down to the car, opening the door for me like a gentleman. It's only when we're alone that he behaves like this, I always tell him the world doesn't know him for who he really is.
We drive to prom in near silence, but it's comfortable. Both of us like the silence. That's why he never could date Rachel Berry seriously.
We arrive at school and sit for a few seconds in the car. Suddenly, he leans over to plant a light kiss on my lips.
"I love you," he says softly, honestly.
I look into his hazel eyes and say, "I love you too Puck."
The end! Admittedly fluffy, but, it's Quick! They were always fluffy. Baking scene, anyone? Anyway, love you all for reading this! Please review!
