AU/Doccubus 'Click me'
A new story - I rushed this first chapter out to find out, if you like it. A short taster and.. This is a DRAFT of sorts - I will edit more later.
Rating T, but I might slip into M-rated later. I usually do.
FYI English is not my first language, but I hope there aren't too many off putting mistakes here. No beta, so all the mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
xoxo
Bo came home from work, stomped to the living room and flopped down flat on her back on the soft sofa with a loud tired groan. She burrowed her body against the big cushions, but groaned again when her phone pinged loudly. She dug it out her pocket and tossed it angrily on the sofa table, where it pinged again.
"Hey." Kenzi said sauntering to hover over the couch and Bo. "I heard your delicate footsteps all the way up to my room. You could wake the dead." She joked yawning.
"Hey..I woke you didn't I?" Bo sighed tiredly. "Sorry."
"Kinda. I was supposed to be reading." Kenzi shrugged showing Bo the book in her hand, The Exorcist.
"Nice." Bo grimaced at the book choice. "Put that thing on silent will you. Thanks." She gestured to her phone clattering and pinging on the table.
"So.. You've got mail." Kenzi grinned, but Bo had her eyes closed and didn't see.
"I don't care. I had a terrible day at work." Bo huffed irritated. "This P.I. business is hell sometimes. Annoying clients. Asshats."
"I know, but they pay us. Bobo, you really should check your mail. It might make you feel better."
"Make me feel better?" Bo opened one eye and eyed her friend and flat-mate suspiciously. "How's that?"
Kenzi shrugged. "Good mail? Check. Like now." She plopped the phone on Bo stomach.
"Why are you so interested in my.. Kenzi? You've.. done something haven't you?" Bo snarled opening her eyes and grabbed her phone to check her messages. "Kenzi! No! What the hell did you do?"
"You, a succubus might I add, were whining about having no social life, so.. Boom! You've got a social life!"
"Social life? You made me an online dating profile! Are you nuts?!"
"Yes. I mean not nuts, but I did create a profile for you. And your phone's buzzing like crazy, see?" Kenzi giddily defended pointing at the item in Bo's hands. "On the height of popularity!"
"I've tried it before! Remember?" Bo spat with narrowed eyes. "For god's sake.."
"Oh, right." Kenzi breathed pursing her lips. "Psycho Janey.. Stalker." She shivered.
"That's the one."
"But that's ancient history. And she left you alone eventually. Now a new try!"
"No thanks."
"You work and mope around the house. Live a little!"
"No thanks."
"At least check your messages."
"Oh gods.. Fine, if that'll make you stop pestering me! These messages are all.. crap." Bo huffed going through her e-mail notifications. "Hi, how's it going? Hello, love your picture. Write me. For fun times call.. Eww. Hi, I'm Lisa, please tell me more about yourself.." She trailed off scowling at her friend.
"So not the perfect material there and.. Whatever.. Those are just the first rows of the messages, you need to log on to the service to see the whole message. See they've been cut." Kenzi poked at the screen. "Go and check out your own profile and other.."
"Why are they asking me to tell more - you already told everything about me!" Bo scoffed loggin on. "Boboster? What the hell kind of a user name is that?"
"Bobo was taken. I even tried Bobo1, but no."
"Kenzi! Why the hell did you upload a picture, where my tits are on display like that?!" Bo screeched, when she saw her profile picture.
"It's called cleavage and.. Girls on this site like tits." Kenzi said in mock seriousness. "Just forget it. I can change it, if you want. Now.. Go and see the profiles listed."
"If I must." Bo relented reluctantly.
"You must."
"No. No. No." Bo muttered as she scrolled through the profiles.
"If you like someone, you can put them on your favorites list. Just click on the star."
"No. No. No. Maybe. Maybe." Bo listed monotonically. "Oh.. Yes." She breathed surprised.
"Yes?!" Kenzi squealed. "Who's a yes?"
"She seems.. um.. nice."
"Let me see." Kenzi demanded and grabbed the phone. "You mean nice as in - hot in a librarian kinda way?" She said after seeing the picture.
"That too." Bo smirked, but then continued more seriously. "If that is her real picture. This could be anywhere from the internet. Looks like a professional picture.. It's probably a hairy, sweaty, perverted old man behind this profile."
"Nice mental image.." Kenzi groaned gagging. "Don't be such a cynic."
"I'm being a realist. Would a girl like that look for dates online?"
"You are. And you look fine to me." Kenzi said grinning. "Though that's the same as a mother saying to your child they're beautiful, isn't it. I'm your best friend of course I think you're pretty."
"Kenzi.." Bo growled in warning. "Stop yammering. I'm online scouting for dates, because you put me there!"
"Maybe someone who loves her did this for her. Like I did for you. For you Bo." Kenzi ended in a preaching tone.
"Right." Bo scoffed. "You just want me out of the house sometimes."
"Yes, that would be nice bonus. So.. Doc Muffin. Seems sane enough." Kenzi approved quickly reading through the profile. "Though Doc Muffin does sound a bit.. off."
"Well, it reads there that she loves to bake. And even works in a bakery shop."
"Baked goods?" Kenzi perked up even more. "Doctor of cookieology? I love her already."
Bo clicked the star.
"Send Muffin a message." Kenzi ushered clapping her hands together excitedly.
"Um.. I'll do it later." Bo overtly yawned.
"Now, Bo." Kenzi ordered. "Or I'll do it for you. Give me your phone."
"No. You know what happened the last time you started chatting as me."
"What?"
"Stalker Janey happened!"
"Fine.." Kenzi muttered already thinking of going to her tablet and sending Muffin a short 'I'm sure I'll love your cupcakes' type of message. Bo seriously needed to get some. The succubus was getting too cranky. No cranky housemates for me, Kenzi nodded.
"I'm beat. I need my beauty sleep. I'll contact Doc Muffin tomorrow, okay?" Bo stated heading to her room. "And just so you know, I changed my password!" She said before slamming the door shut.
"Shit! No! Bo, you can't waste time in these things!" Kenzi shouted after her in despair. "She's new on the site. A new profile Bo! Muffin's new! Someone's gonna snatch her! Bo! Shit.."
.
Lauren had finished her shift early at the shop and had been invited to visit her brother's house for dinner. Somehow after dinner Lauren had ended up making a dating profile coaxed by her brother Dyson. There evidently was no stopping her brother, when he got one of his brilliant ideas. And this idea to Lauren was too brilliant.
"Doc Muffin?" Lauren snarled sitting in front of the laptop. "Seriously?"
"It's cute and it describes you well." Dyson laughed rubbing Lauren's shoulder.
"It's weird." Lauren pouted giving a glare to her gleeful brother. "And it sounds like dog's name."
"Well you are kind of a.."
"Shut up." Lauren rolled her eyes. she'd been rolling them a lot this passed evening. "The picture is nice."
"It's nice to have a photographer in the family." Dyson grinned. "You can thank me later."
"You? Why you? Your wife took the picture." Lauren scoffed poking Dyson with her elbow.
"I wooed her and now she's a part of our family."
"Wooed? Cheesy, but correct." Lauren smiled, before sighing. "The profile's finished. This was your idea Dys.. What do we do now?" She pursed her lips. "Just wait?"
"We wait. Or if you want, we can go through the profiles here."
"What are these here?" Lauren poked at the screen.
"Oh, those are you statistics."
"What?" Lauren asked baffled. "Statistics of what?"
"You can check how many people have favorited you, checked out your profile.. See someone's already interested. She put you in her favorites." Dyson took a closer look. "Someone very.. pretty. Boboster?"
"Pretty?" Lauren laughed eying her brother. "You mean Boboster is scorching hot and.. gorgeous. Sinfully sexy."
"Yes, but I can't say that. Or nothing about her.. chestall area." Dyson said lowering his voice.
"Why?" Lauren teased.
"Ciara is just a few feet away." Dyson nodded towards the other room.
"You're so whipped." Lauren let out a tinkling laugh.
"I like it." Dyson grinned.
"I know. You two are disgustingly happy." Lauren gagged, but then smiled fondly as she squeezed her brother's arm.
"Let's find you a nice girl." Dyson said happily. "Oh, will you look at that. Your profile's been up for fifteen minutes and you have a stack of visitors and many have favorited you. Morgamon sent you a message! And more messages are coming all the time from different people."
"Go me." Lauren rolled her eyes. "I don't have a clue of what I'm doing. Should I answer everyone?"
"No. You'll get tunnel syndrome." Dyson scoffed shaking his head. "Pick out a few you're interested in and send them a message. Or answer to the interesting ones, who have contacted you. To all the others you can send 'Thanks, but no thanks'."
"That seems kind of.. rude."
"That's online dating for you." Dyson shrugged. "You can't waste time with uninteresting people. You have to concentrate on the interesting ones. And most messages are shit anyway."
"Right. Shit. Nice. What about Boboster? Should I message her? She.. starred me."
"She'll send you a message, I'm sure."
"Okay.. So.. What can I tell about myself to.. these people?" Lauren stared at the computer screen. "When I talk to them."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want end up as someone's.. skin suit or something equally gross."
"Skin suit?" Dyson grimaced. "What the hell?"
"You know, get killed by some psychopath because I revealed too much of my personal life. To a total stranger."
"Uh.. Maybe this was a bad idea." Dyson worriedly agreed. "I need you to be safe."
"And I am. You know how careful I am." Lauren soothed.
"I know. But you can't tell them anything personal. Like your address, where you work.."
"I know.." Lauren soothed. "I'll be careful."
"And I'm a detective. I can run background checks on your possible dates."
"Dyson.."
"I insist."
"I love this already." Lauren said sarcastically and motioned to the screen blinking with unread messages.
"Great!" Dyson cheered over exaggerating.
"Can we go for that run now? I had my share of sitting still for tonight."
"Sure, let's go out the back door and straight to the woods." Dyson smiled. "Come on sis."
"I love the woods."
"I know. I love it too."
.
Bo had been ignoring the online dating sites notifications for the day to Kenzi's dismay. Bo had had a buzy day working, but that hadn't stopped Kenzi. She had been badgering Bo by phone, text and every other possible method to get the succubus to contact Muffin or anyone! But now after work Bo sat looking concentrated at the kitchen table, when Kenzi came to raid the fridge. The petite brunette eyed her friend curiously.
"What are you doing?"
"Chatting."
"With?" Kenzi prompted. "Bo? Who are you chatting with? With someone from 'Fae Lovers unite'?" She asked, when the brunette wouldn't answer. She looked at the phone and recognized the user name. "Muffin?" Kenzi's face brightened. "So you did contact her?"
"Lauren's her name. Yes. I sent her a message a while ago."
"Finally! Can't wait for her to bake me some goodies." Kenzi rubbed her hands together.
"We've been chatting for some time now and.."
"And?"
"And.. Lauren's really sweet, smart and.. Crap." Bo hissed, before placing the phone upside down on the table top.
"Sweet, smart and crap?"
"She sent another one." Bo grunted glaring at her phone.
"What now? You're pouting?" Kenzi sighed. "She turned you down?"
"See for yourself." Bo poked the phone further.
"Bo, it's been very nice to talk to you. And you sound so very interesting.." Kenzi read and cleared her throat as she glanced at Bo. "So she did turn you down. Why because of the excessive cleavage in your picture?"
"No. Read on."
Kenzi lifted the phone again. "I wish we had talked before, because I've already set up a date with someone and I'd like to see how that goes, before.. Before moving on to 'the next'. I'm not a serial dater by nature. I'm sorry. By the way this internet.. or online dating is so not my forte. I don't know how to do this. I really hope we can still chat, but I won't expect you to want to after this. I wish you all the best Bo."
Bo groaned heavily. "What the hell just happened? She seemed really nice. I loved chatting with her. And now.."
"She's got a date already." Kenzi snarled disappointed. "Muffin's got a date, because you wouldn't message her last night like I told you to! Last night Bo!"
"Shit." Bo breathed burying her face in her hands.
"No Muffins for us! And I love muffins.." Kenzi wailed. "I feel like crying."
.
Thanks for reading :)
A/N Want to read more? Yay or Nay?