The day Emmett lost his innocence
Emmett: Ah Renesme is so cute, you did a good job for once Edward.
Edward: Yeah good job boys.
Emmett: Wait who were you talking to?
Edward: you know my boys.
Emmett: What?
Edward: oka lets never discuss this again.
Emmett: oka by the way can you come with me to the vet?
Edward: Emmett for the 8th time your not getting nurtured!
Emmett: no not for that I saw to dogs wrestling and pulled them off each other. Hurrah for me.
Edward: well done Emmett for once your not a complete dumbass.
Emmett: Yeah imagine a male dog assaulting a helpless female dog.
Edward: Wait what did you just say???
Emmett: I said the male was assaulting the female, don't you ever listen?
Edward: ummm Emmett have you ever actually done it?
Emmett: I don't follow you.
Edward: you know exercised your lower muscles.
Emmett: Nope still not following.
Edward have you ever had ***??
Emmett: what's that??
Edward: HOLY **** YOU'RE A VIRGIN ALL THAT TIME WITH ROSALIE AND YOU LEARNED NOTHING!!!!
Emmett: what are u talking about???
Edward: Emmett sit down for a moment while I tell you a story that will destroy you're innocence.
(a few moments past)
Edward:… and that's how babies are made. Emmett?
(Emmett has a horrified look on his face)
Edward: Emmett are you in there? EMMETT??? Oh well he's scarred for eternity whose next.
Ominous voice: could it be you???
Edward: no it can't who the hell are you and how did you get in here???
Ominous voice: Ohhhhh **** this is what I get for not shutting up till I've robbed the house!!!
A/N Emmett was later transferred to a mental hospital were his innocence slowly recovered from the shock.