xJadeRainx: Hello everyone and welcome to the fist episode of Le Plat de Poisson. It's a brand new talk show hosted by some of your favorite and admittedly, not so favorite characters. Your hosts today are the ever popular Hali, Xavier and the unforgettable "Salty" Sam Bennett.
*Flashing sign signals applause*
Sam: Le Plat de what? Discrimination! We're not all bilingual here!
Xavier: *Repeats with a triumphant smirk* Le Plat de Poissons.
Sam: *Crosses arms and mumbles under his breath* Show off.
Hali: *Laughs nervously* Okay, to save you fans the trouble of regarding the Google Translator, Le Plat de Poissons literally translates to, The Plate of Fish.
Sam: *With disbelief in his voice* The Plate of Fish? Who named this show anyway?
Xavier: *Rather proudly* I did!
Sam: *With Sarcasm* Oh, that explains why the name is incredibly... STUPID!
Xavier: *Indignantly* Non, éclatant.
Sam: If that means stupid, that yes, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you have just said.
Xavier: *Narrows his eyes* You make me sick.
Sam: * With and air of unmistakable coolness* I've met sea serpents more pleasant than you.
xJadeRainx: Hali, do something!
Hali: Me? If you can't control them, how do you expect me to?
xJadeRainx: Use your famine whiles...
Sam: *Addresses audience* Honestly, The Plate of Fish! There's got to me someone else out there who thinks that title is abysmal. Am I right?
*A murmur of consent from the audience*
*Sam basks in the glory of the moment*
xJadeRainx: *Attempting to keep the peace* All right, from now on Le Plat de Poissons will be know as The Fish Dish! Ha, perfect! I really must be a genius!
*All three hosts roll there eyes, along with a select few audience members*
Hali: Um, xJadeRainx?
xJadeRainx: Yes, Hali?
Hali: The producer is giving us dirty looks. We're running out of time, so maybe it's best if we get on with the show...
xJadeRainx: Good idea, Hali. *Faces the camera* We'll be right back after this commercial break.
Deep Male Voice Over: If you're not for them, you're against them. Join their quest to protect the world from devastation, against the dastardly Evil Bunnies and Cookies. Zombie Librarians. Their smarter, their faster, their HUNGRY! Visit your local library for further details.
xJadeRainx: And we're back! Remember fans, we left off in the middle of a heated debate of whether Le Plat de Poissons (The Plate of Fish) was a good or bad...
Sam: Very bad.
xJadeRainx: *Glares at Sam for stepping on her lines* ... name. Only for reasons pertaining to time constraints, our producer has ordered us to switch topics... immediately. Is there anything on the minds of our hosts.
Sam: You bet there is!
xJadeRainx: *Sighs* What is it now, Sam?
Sam: Why haven't you written about me in eleven chapters?
xJadeRainx: Because Adelaide is *holds pointer and thumb less than an inch apart* this close to being sacrificed to summon back the evil Tiamat though an ancient, dark, Murken voodoo ritual, that's why.
Sam: *Unhappily* But don't you see? It's all your fault!
xJadeRainx: *Laughs at the absurd comment* Sam, darling nothing is ever my fault...
Sam: Oh yeah? Because of you some new kid comes to town and Converse r life is suddenly all like, "OMG! He is so hawt! I'm loosing her becasue of you, xJadeRainx, because of YOU!
xJadeRainx: Now, Sam, calm down...
Sam: *Ignores xJadeRainx completely* Concerse r life, baby, come back to me, please!
Xavier: *annoyed* Is this ham ever going to let anyone else get a word in edgewise?
Sam: *With fire in his eyes* Hey, Devil! You and me. Mano a Mano. I think it's about time we finally meet.
Xavier: You know, Devil is closer to her age...
Sam: *Angrily pushes Xavier off his chair* Shut up, landlubber!
Xavier: *Finds an extra extension cord from one of the cameras and begins to choke Sam.
Producer: Two minutes left!
XJadeRainx: *Smiles fakely* Well fans, it seems we're out of time. Tune in next time on The Fish Dish!
Hali: *Shakes her head* We'll that was entirely unproductive.
xJadeRainx: *Regarding the two man melee* Should we stop them?
Hali: No, we just have to let them duke it out until they both grow tired.
xJadeRainx: Okay, then... *Faces camera* Until next time, this has been the Fish Dish!
Ultra Special Blah Blah Blah
So, if you haven't guessed by now, The Fish Dish was inspired by Anima's show, Chronicles of Something, Something Holiday. Thanks for the inspiration Anima!
I figured her show could use some good, old fashioned competition! Besides, Sam kept bugging me to spread the word of his love for Converse r life in some dramatic way, and this is how it manifested itself.
Next episode, Sam and Xavier clear the air... I hope. Don't miss it!
I'm blue dabba dee dabba die,
xJadeRainx
Comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, requests? Write to P.O. Box The Fish Dish via review.