His eyes roved the crowd as he gave his speech, and the crowd believed him. The Fire Nation would regain its' honor; it would be years before people trusted them completely, maybe not even within his reign, but the honor, at least, he could restore. But the Avatar knew that Fire Lord Zuko's mind was not on his speech; it was on a pretty Waterbender who was not, as was expected, in her place of honor, at the head of the Southern Water Tribe column, as the newly-appointed ambassador for the Water Tribes. Nor was she with Toph, or even Suki; now even the Avatar searched for her in the crowd. But Katara Ice Whip, as she was affectionately called among the servants of the Palace, was no where to be seen.
---
Zuko carefully hid his impatience with the formalities at the ball he was practically required to throw after his coronation. But after one leading question that made it very clear that Lady Zheng believed he should still be with Mai, ("After all, what a charming family she comes from!") he was finding it very difficult to keep his temper down. He wanted to stand on the nearest table and announce that it was Mai who didn't want to get back with him. And really, who could blame her? He'd done nothing to endear himself to her. However, they had managed to maintain a friendship. But he'd actually been a little distracted by another young woman, so he counted himself rather lucky that Mai didn't want to pursue a relationship.
Irritation shot through him as his gaze swept the room, as still, no sign of the blue-eyed minx who was currently driving him absolutely up a wall. One moment, she was laughing and joking, the next, she acted as if he had a fatal, contagious disease. It had gotten worse since the defeat of Ozai. This was the worse yet! Zuko seethed silently, torn between anger and worry that she had not shown up for her coronation. But then, a flash of cerulean and chocolate caught his attention, and he turned his gaze to see Katara on the arm of the Avatar, and the wave of jealousy that shot through him initially was instantly forgotten when he realized what she looked like.
It was Northern Water Tribe ball gown, with a few modifications he had a feeling she personally made, just to make an entrance; the same blue she normally wore, with sleeves that opened up and swept the floor, and a scooped neck and back, and a white band around her waist. Zuko tried not to ogle her, but he did notice that the dress would have looked plain on anyone else, but it managed to hit her in ways that were anything but 'plain.' As it was, the heat that shot through him and scorched his throat had nothing to do with his Inner Fire.
Aang bowed over her delicate hand and kissed it, and Zuko fought the urge to shoot a fire blast at him, until he noticed where the Airbender was headed; the Fire Lord grinned. Toph would be pleased. Zuko then straightened and went to Katara, who suddenly went from the poised, beautiful, elegant young woman of just moments before, to wearing an expression that was decidedly uncomfortable. He did his best to hide a scowl, and he took her hand and kissed it, not about to be out-done by a scrawny little twelve year old. Upon straightening, he noticed a faint tint to her cheeks, and she looked, if possible, even more uncomfortable. More than uncomfortable; Zuko frowned. He could only describe her expression as pained. "Is everything alright, Katara?"
She smiled blandly and dipped a quick curtsy, which he decided he didn't like at all. Formalities from any that had been his group made him uncomfortable, but especially her. "I'm fine, Fire Lord Zuko. I thank you for your concern."
Zuko almost stepped back, stung by the decidedly formal tone in her voice. He couldn't help it, despite the voice in the back of his head that called him an idiot, as he responded in a tone that had a definite bite to it, "Of course, Lady Katara. I would not want anyone to be upset; this is, as they say, my show. Permit me to add that you look lovely tonight."
There was no mistaking it; Katara definitely had a look of pain, and she visibly winced, her entire body shuddering away from him. Zuko didn't understand it; what on Earth could he have done? When he had helped her find the Southern Raiders, she had been fine with him for a few weeks. But now she could barely stand to be around him, and he hated it, because now more than ever he wanted to be around her. She raised her aquamarine gaze to meet his. "Thank you, my Lord. You are too kind. Now, I beg your leave, as I must see my father before long; he would never forgive me if I do not dance with him."
Zuko did not see how he could make her stay any longer without making it obvious, or apparently making her uncomfortable, so he let her go with a jerk of his head. She fairly fled. Almost as soon as she disappeared behind a tall lady with a high forehead, Sokka, Toph, and Aang all converged upon him. Sokka seemed convinced Zuko had attacked her. "What'd you do, zap her?!" he demanded.
Zuko glared at him. "I'm still working on lightning, you idiot. And I didn't do anything. She said she wanted to had to go dance with Hakoda, and practically ran from me."
Toph laughed delicately, a sound Zuko was still getting used to; it seemed she couldn't suppress her manners entirely whenever she attended high-class affairs. "Well, she lied. Hakoda is right behind you."
Right on cue, the deep voice of the Chieftan of the Southern Water Tribe sounded in his ear. "What did you do to my daughter, Fire Lord Zuko, that has her so upset? You may be our new ally, but I won't tolerate disrespect of my children."
Even though Zuko knew the man was kidding, the fact that he was standing behind him and not dancing with Katara irritated him a lot. He exhaled sharply, and couldn't quite control the flicker of flame that came from his nostrils. "Easy, there," Aang murmured, and Zuko took a deep breath.
"I didn't do anything," the Fire Lord repeated. "Apparently she hates me again, because she can't stand to be around me for more than ten seconds at a time."
Suki, who had just walked into the conversation, laughed from behind her fan. Her outfit was a modified Kyoshi warriors' outfit, made look like a dress, but the fans' were still there, 'in case something were to happen.' Zuko had added a few of the Kyoshi Warriors to his guard, to work along side the Imperial Firebenders, as a public display of his efforts to have the nations live in harmony again. He intended to get a few Waterbenders in his guard, if the Northern Water Tribe would agree to it.
Suki rapped his shoulder lightly, making him feel briefly like a child. "You're surprisingly dense for one who is so intent upon uniting the four nations once more; I mean, it's only been staring you in the face."
Zuko frowned. "What's been staring me in the face?"
Simultaneously, Sokka, Aang, and Toph, all dropped their jaws. Hakoda was slightly more dignified, but his expression gave the impression that he would have, if he'd been younger. Zuko might have laughed, if it hadn't have made him felt like an idiot. Sokka spoke first. "Please tell me this is just a classic example of your terrible sense of humor."
Zuko scowled. "My sense of humor is fine, and I'll thank you for not insulting the Fire Lord." His expression lightened slightly as they laughed at his attempt to pull rank. "But no, it's really not. I have no idea of what you're talking about."
A slow grin that Zuko really didn't like spread across Aang's face. "Really? You're that completely blind? Zuko, we knew you were dense, but you really need to work on your people skills if you want to be Fire Lord."
This time, his exhalation produced more than just a flicker of flame, and the group stepped back for a moment before closing back around him. "What are you guys talking about!?" he demanded, his temper getting the better of him.
The soothing voice of Iroh came from behind him, and delivered the much needed bucket of water to his fiery temper. "They are trying to tell you that young Katara might just return the feelings that have had you pacing the halls of the palace, and snapping at servants and guards at the slightest provocation, only to apologize moments later."
Zuko's friends all laughed at the intimate revelation of their friends' frustration, but the Fire Lord himself was too busy digesting what his uncle had just told him. "So…she…likes me?"
The laughter only grew louder. "Okay, how old are we?" Suki asked, grinning.
Zuko only smiled, suddenly too elated to be annoyed. His gaze swept the room, looking for Katara, and then suddenly he stopped. He wanted to do this right; he wanted to be someone that Katara deserved. He turned to Hakoda, placed his left fist into his right palm, and bowed in the traditional Fire Nation salute. Fire Lords never bowed, but Zuko did this not as a monarch, but as a person seeking to court Hakoda's daughter. Straightening, he saw the surprise in the mans' eyes, but it quickly went away and was replaced with understanding, and he regarded Zuko expressionlessly. "Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe, I would like to formally request your permission to court your daughter, Katara of the Water Tribe. I promise to treat her with respect, kindness, honor, and equality."
He thought he might have heard Sokka mutter, "She's kill him otherwise," and Zuko hid a smile. That was very true.
Hakoda kept a blank face for a moment. Then he said something that Zuko should have expected, seeing as he was being formal, but didn't; "Do you have another to vouch for your honor?"
He lost a bit of his composure, but thankfully, Iroh came to his rescue, also giving Hakoda the traditional Fire Nation salute. "I can vouch for Zuko. He is young, and as young men are often wont, he has made his own choices, and chosen his own path. It has lead him down some hard roads, but ultimately it has made him a strong young man with unquestionable honor."
Hakoda inclined his head, acknowledging Iroh's statement. "Then, Zuko of the Fire Nation, I give you my blessing to court my daughter Katara, as long as she is willing. Treat her well."
Zuko could not hide the smile that he felt would split his face, and he bowed deeply. "I thank you, Chief Hakoda." Abruptly breaking formality, he turned to Toph. "Where is Katara?"
The blind Earthbender stilled for a moment, then frowned. "Not sure. She's not in this room, I can tell you that."
Zuko nodded, and then said, "Well, then if you all will excuse me, I suddenly had very important business to attend to. Or I had a headache. Or I was violently ill. Whichever sounds more Fire Lord-like when someone asks where I went."
He slipped of the ballroom and pulled off the heavy robes and shoulder plates of the coronation, leaving him in his normal clothes, although they were silk. He had a feeling he knew where the Waterbender would be on a night of a full moon, and took off at a fast pace that took him out of the castle and towards the cliffs that overlooked the ocean. Sure enough, there she stood, on the edge of a cliff, the wind blowing her hair out behind her in such a way that it very nearly took his breath away.
One particularly strong gust of wind made him shiver, and he was a Firebender, so he knew she was cold. "Katara?"
She jumped slightly and turned to look at him. Seeing who it was, she jerked her head sharply to look back at the water, not giving him much of a chance to see the expression on her face. "Yes?" she whispered.
Zuko didn't like the way her voice sounded. It sounded almost scratchy, like she'd been crying. "Aren't you cold?" he asked, stepping up beside her. He inhaled deeply, and then exhaled with more force. His body let out a more intense heat that he knew she could feel.
He bit back a sigh as she stepped away quickly, saying sharply, "No, I'm fine."
"Katara…" He sighed, and turned to face her. He was startled to see tear-tracks on her face. "Have you been crying?" he asked, feeling a pain in his chest at the thought of her in pain.
He reached out to brush away the moisture, but she dodged his hand. "Please," she said in a low voice, "don't touch me."
She might as well have kicked him in the chest. "Katara…please, stop pulling away from me. You've been doing it since the fall of Ozai. Since you saved my life. I don't understand; did I do something wrong? Are you…" Zuko wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but he asked anyway. "Are you afraid of me? That I will become like Ozai?"
Katara had been looking at the ocean, but suddenly, her crystal blue eyes met his with such an intensity, he found he could barely breathe. "Don't ever say that," she said fiercely. "You are nothing like your father, and you and I both know that. And I'm not afraid of you. I can't be; you saved my life."
Zuko let out a frustrated breath. "Then what is wrong, Katara? Why weren't you at my coronation? I'm going insane here! The Kyoshi Warriors, the Imperial Firebenders, even my servants all mock me and laugh at me, because I pace the hallways of the palace, wondering what it is I did that makes you shy away from me every time I get near. I don't understand; please, give me a hint, so at least I can try to make amends for whatever it was I---"
She cut him off more abruptly and passionately and angrily than he could have imagined. "You didn't do anything wrong, damn it! It was more like you did everything right! I hated you, Zuko! I hated you with everything I had because you chased us and you tried to hurt Aang, and I hate people who try to hurt people I love!" To his horror, he realized that Katara was beginning to cry again. And with a faint, detached amusement, he noticed that with each agitated arm-gesture, a wave of water rose in the water below.
He tried to speak, but she cut him off with a gesture. "No, let me finish. And then you joined us, and you knew that I hated you! I made it clear! And still you stayed! And you even helped me! I didn't know why you were being so nice, and then I realized, it was partly to get me to like you, and partly because that's just who you are. And then during the fight with Azula, when she shot the lightning at me…damn it, Zuko! You jumped in front of that damn lightning bolt, and I thought I was going to die, not because she had shot at me, but because I thought you were dead! And that's when I realized, I hated you because you stayed. You knew I didn't care, but you stayed. You stayed and I hate you for it, because before I knew it I fell for you."
Zuko could have sworn that his heart stopped right then. He took a step forward, but Katara, quick a flash, shot a water-whip at him. Not a strong one, but one aimed straight for his chest, one meant to keep him where he was. He could tell she was trying to avoid touching him. "Please, Zuko, you don't have to say anything. I understand. I never, ever, meant to fall for you. I understand that I'm just a Southern Water Peasant and you're the Fire Lord. So I've tried to stay away."
Her eyes were sad, and she had stopped crying. Zuko honestly preferred her crying; it was better than the aching pain in her gaze now. "Because I know I can never be good enough to be the Fire Lord's girlfriend, maybe one day his Queen. And I can't sit here and watch you have everything you ever wanted; you're honor, your throne, your uncle, and leave me behind. Believe me, I'm happy. I'm happy that you've gained everything. I was at your coronation; I sat with the Earth Kingdom, because I knew that I wouldn't be recognized. I didn't want my family asking me why…why I was crying. Because I shouldn't be; I should be so happy that everything is finally getting set straight. But I'm breaking inside, here, Zuko. And I can't take it. So tomorrow morning, I'm leaving. And I won't be back until I know I can handle it. It's selfish, I know. But I have to do this. For me."
Zuko tilted his head to the side, studying her. "But I don't want you to leave," he stated calmly.
Her gaze snapped up from where it had been fastened on his shoes, anger starting to spark again. "Weren't you listening?" Katara demanded. "Don't you understand that I can't stay? Spirits, Zuko, can you be more selfish!?"
He cut her off quickly, before she lashed out at him. He understood that she only wanted to take her pain out on someone. "Let me finish. I don't want you to leave, because if you left, my reason for staying in the Fire Nation would have left. I don't think a Fire Lord can rule very well from the South Pole."
Katara frowned, confused, and he could tell she didn't like it at all. "What are you saying, Zuko? Why would you try to rule from the South Pole?"
Zuko smiled gently, and he heard her breath catch. He stepped closer to her, and took her hand. The heat exuding from his body stilled the shivers, but still she trembled; for that matter, he was trembling, but this kind of shaking was entirely different, and far more exhilarating. "Katara, you are beautiful, and strong, and clever, but you are also blind. Why can't you see? I've been here there entire time, waiting for you to realize that I've loved you just as much as you love me. You are the moon to my sun, the yin to my yang, the light that shines through my dark. I need you; you are the balance that I have never been able to find. If you left, one of two things would happen; I would break, or, I would simply follow. I think it would be the second. We both know that I am too stubborn to simply give up."
Katara looked down, and Zuko shifted, frustrated that he could not tell what she was thinking; she always wore her emotions on her face like a flag, which was probably why she didn't look at him now. "Zuko," she finally spoke in a low, inscrutable voice, "if you are being kind…if you do not wish to damage relations between the Water Tribes and the Fire Nation, please, say so now. I would not be offended to be turned away; I understand. Believe me, no one need know that you rejected the ambassador of the---"
Suddenly angry, Zuko grabbed her arms and yanked her to him, pressing her lips to his in a bruising kiss. His lips moved over hers furiously as he tried to burn into her mind that she was more than a political figure, she was a person, a woman, one that he was completely in love with. And then suddenly, the angry, demanding kiss changed as her hands slipped into his hair, and his arms fell about her waist, pulling her into him, and then they were yielding to each other. Searching, seeking, and finding what they always needed, and finding it in each other. The Four Nations had it wrong; separation had been when they had fallen apart. Yin needed Yang, Light needed Dark, Fire needed Water, and Earth needed Air. Finally, Zuko understood what his Uncle had meant by the balance needing to be kept, or, it had at least become personal to him.
He pulled away from her, breathless, shaking, and his golden eyes burning into hers. "Don't ever doubt my love for again."
Katara smiled as she nuzzled closer to him. "I wouldn't dare, my love."