Strong Words

Dean was unsure of his emotions as he watched his brother get in a truck and disappear down the highway. Seeing Sammy leave made him sad, but there was another part of him that felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. He no longer had to look out for Sammy, the kid was no longer his responsibility. In a way, Dean was actually glad he was gone because now he could concentrate on the job ahead. More importantly he no longer had to try to forgive Sam. He could stay angry as long as he wanted for it didn't matter Sam wasn't there anymore. And even if he was, why should he be forgiven? He didn't deserve it.

Dean sat at the picnic table for a long time and it was almost dark before he finally got in the Impala and took off down the road, in the opposite direction he had seen Sam go. He drove for hours in silence, not even bothering with any music because it could never drown out the angry thoughts stewing in his head. He slammed his hands against the steering wheel. He was pissed at Sam for betraying him! He was pissed at Ruby for poisoning Sam! But even though he could not admit it, he was also pissed at himself for not seeing everything earlier, for not being strong enough to stop it. But his rage towards Sam crushed those thoughts "Screw him! He is on his fucking own now!"

Dean's anger kept him going and awake longer than normal, but finally feelings of exhaustion caught up with him. It had been a really hard week. He didn't bother finding a motel; he didn't want to see another living person right now anyway. He just wanted to be alone. Dean turned off on to a secluded back road that led into the woods and found a place to park where he would not be easily seen from the highway. Getting out of car Dean stretched and cracked his knuckles. "I have been in there for way to long", he groaned. He laid down in the back seat only after making sure to draw a devil's trap and trace adequate salt lines around the car. Yet not bothering to grab a blanket from the trunk because he was too tired to care if it got cold or not. Using his arm as a pillow Dean did his best to settle down and fall asleep.

Dean woke up just as the sun was peeking over the trees. Even in his half groggy state he immediately knew something was seriously wrong. He rubbed his eyes and then came to the realization that he was on the ground in the middle of the woods. The road he was on was nowhere in site and neither was the Impala.

"Oh this is just fantastic!!", but then Dean realized that his missing car was the least of his problems when he felt a presence breeze past him. Dead reached behind him for his gun, but it wasn't there. Though he was doing his best to keep his mind on the hunt in the back of his mind he was sure he had it with him when he went to sleep. Never the less, he was now completely unharmed and had to deal with a spirit or most likely something much worse.

"Dean" came a voice that sounded very familiar. Dean started to make a 360 seeing nothing. It wasn't until he had completely turned back around was he faced with his prey. Dean swallowed because he knew he was in big trouble.

"Dad?" he whispered which came out more like a croak.

Dean knew it had to be Dad because per usual he skipped all formalities and got straight to the point which of course he yelled, "Dean! Why did you let your brother leave?!! Do you have any idea the danger he is in?!"

"He screwed up Dad! Big time!" Dean retorted. He had never spoken to his father like that but he be damned if he was letting his dad win this one. "It is the freaking apocalypse. Which if you didn't know already, Sammy started this whole crap chute!!"

"Which is why he needs you more than ever now!"

"Yeah well, he had no problem walking away from us when he went to college, did he? He abandoned us once, so now I am abandoning him", Dean stated.

"We both forgave him for that and he forgave us for how we dealt with it. You need to forgive him for this too Dean. You can't stay angry at him forever and you know it." John spoke softly trying to negotiate with his son.

"Watch me! Why should I forgive him?!" Dean shouted practically inches from his father's face. "He was so bent on revenge that he became a freak. Sam is not my brother anymore and I don't think he ever was. The little prick doesn't deserve to be forgiven! "

At this John's eyes flashed in anger and he grabbed Dean by the collar of his jacket. "Now you listen to me boy!" he growled through clenched teeth. "You promised you would always take care of Sammy no matter what."

"But Dad…"

"No matter what!!! Now you are breaking not only your promise to your brother but to me as well. I taught you better than that!! I taught you to be a man of your word. It doesn't matter what Sammy does or how much he fucks up, he is your little brother and you are suppose to take care of him. I told you to look out for him, it was my dying wish."

"But you also said that if I could not save Sam, I had to kill him" Dean whispered, trying to make his case with out infuriating his father further.

John let go of Dean and shook his head; he seemed slightly ashamed, "That was the stupidest thing I ever told you. And of course because I am really an idiot it was the last thing I ever said to you. I was obsessed like you boys had told me so many times before. I was even willing to sacrifice Sammy because of it."

John then looked at Dean and became very serious, "And if you are not careful, you are going to end up the same way kiddo. I had to die to be able to finally realize that there is much in life more important than this job, like our family."

Dean remained silent for a while, mulling over his father's words. Had he become so fixated on cleaning up this mess that he pushed away what was most important to him? He put his head in his hands realizing he had made a mistake, a huge and utterly stupid mistake.

"Sam is all I have left and now I tossed him out like used condom." Dean groaned, "I need him Dad, I didn't realize it until now, but I can't do this without him."

John smiled softly, "Then go find him son.

"Yes sir", Dean replied. He then gazed at his father questioningly, "Hey Dad, is this real or I am just dreaming?"

John chuckled and squeezed his son's shoulder, "It is whatever you believe it to be."

Dean's eyes snapped open. He was in the back seat of the Impala again, no longer in the middle of woods and his Dad had vanished. He had not got a clear answer to if that whole exchange was real but it did not matter, he knew what he had to do. Dean sat up and grabbed his cell phone. He almost called Sam, but decided against it because the kid probably would not answer. Instead he scrolled though the contacts list and chose another number. The phone barely had a chance to ring before the call was answered, "Cas. I know it won't be easy with that mojo you happened to crayola into our ribs, but I need your help. We need to find Sam."