Haunted
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: Heroes is owned by Tim Kring. I only own this story and make no profit from this, other than my own pleasure. Mmm…Kiro…
Warning: T for language, first person POV, etc
Feedback/Archive: Feedback is awesome, so…yes please. Ask me if you want to archive this elsewhere.
Pairing: Implied Kensei/Hiro
Setting: Post-S2
Summary: Bitterness and regret are hard things to swallow, carp.
I am haunted by you.
This confinement is only an intensification of what I have already been feeling every.single.day since the day that you left me a charred and twisted thing in White Beard's camp.
Don't you remember that I said that whatever you loved I would be sure to destroy? Well, here's news for you my carp; I added myself to that. Because I am surely destroyed, no longer jagged pieces holding as tightly together through the years, afraid of breaking, anymore; no, I am destroyed.
Everything you hold dear, Yaeko, your father…even me. I put myself in that position; even if you never felt that way for me.
But…no. I know you felt something for me! I saw those looks that you gave to me, those shy smiles, or the smiles that lit up everything around them, especially me.
If only I hadn't waited so long to let you know that I…
…feel the same. Bitterness and regret are hard things to swallow, carp. Harder than you'll think, but I know that you will be feeling them as you walk upon the surface, perhaps even on top of my grave you so lovingly gave to me in your thoughtfulness.
I ache.
Oh, not my body—my so called 'great power' is nothing more than a façade; sheltering a soul so old that it felt as if it were crumbling underneath the weight of the world and especially under the weight of one time-traveler's gaze.
The years lay waste to me underneath the ground; making me relive everything in my life over and over again until it wanted me to submit to it.
Sometimes I long to be able to just close my eyes and let that be the end of it all.
But my 'gift' is as much as my curse as anything else.
You said I was not God and I told you that I had lived for over four hundred years, so who was it to say that I was not going to live four hundred more?
Once again you take away something out from under me.
You called me Kensei; I caught you saying it, when I knew you were wrestling with wanting to say 'Adam' instead. I had chosen the name before I ever met with anyone from the Company, did you know? Before your father, or Daniel, or Victoria or any of the others.
But the name became all the more fitting when I decided to release the Virus and save the world from itself; the world is becoming more and more degrading, spreading the filth of violence, torture, rape and murder along its walls. Suicide bombers blowing up in the middle of market squares, a starving child with its dull and deep set eyes, a woman crying out the injustice as she gets forced upon, a young man with a bright promise gets snuffed out for no good reason.
Where does it end?
I wanted to protect the world; I even wanted to protect it even more because of you. I didn't want you to grow up in a world like this.
Everything I have done, good or bad, is because of you.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you.
Damn you!
My voice goes out again and again as my screams echo inside the coffin, my lungs burning before healing themselves, over and over again, in a macabre dance that threatened to break me completely.
If I am not already.
But I still love you.
I wonder what you do; do you ever visit me? Do you frown, or smile when you do? Do you laugh or cry? Or are you numb?
Because if you are; then we are the same.
I sometimes dream of you, more and more as I keep falling asleep, asking for your forgiveness, but still believing what I was trying to accomplish was right.
I still believe that.
Everything I do or will ever do is for you.
As it has been since the day that a man named Kaito Nakamura entered my office and announced that his son, Hiro, was born.
I am haunted by you and I don't ever want you to stop.
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Maybe if I stop my screaming and listen, maybe I could hear you up above.
Can you hear me?
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? It's tells me to give you everything. Seasons may change, winter to spring. But I love you. Until the end of time.
Come what may.
And from my vantage point, the end of time is entirely reachable.
But not if you are not by my side.
I'll do anything, say anything, just let me see your sweet face again.
Haunt me.
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A/N: I hope that this is liked. A first person Kensei POV? OMG!
And I also hoped that this turned out well. I was going to go to bed (its 1:50 in the morning as I'm writing this A/N!) but the need to write fic was banging me over my tired head (as I only got a little more than four hours last night, after staying at one of my best friend's house also with my other best friend and had to get up at friggin' 9:30!! )
But, anyway…enough babbling on…it's from the tiredness… (That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! XD)
Rock on Kensei/Hiro!!
(A/N2: I was watching some of S1 of Heroes today as I'm writing this A/N. Can you say Claude FTW?! And Plaude FTW!? Well, then the Petrellicest, the Paire, the Mylar…it goes on… XD)
--PhoenixJustice