"Angry Video Game Nerd reviews Toy Story 2 on Gameboy color"
"What happens when you turn a movie like Toy Story 2 into a video game,
a pile of steaming garbage" the nerd picks up the game from the shelf of all
the other NES video games he's standing next to and shows the game he is
about review.
"Here it is, the unholy s#%t fest that became a video game. Toy Story 2 on the
Gameboy color and believe me this game is god-awful. I can't begin to explain
how bad it is without puking, but that's not going to stop me from reviewing
this load of f#%k" the nerd then puts the game into the Gameboy color and
starts the game.
"Anyways, the game starts with the title screen and it shows cut scenes from
the film. If you're familiar with the film Toy Story 2 you probably know the
plot of the movie. Woody gets stolen by a toy collector named Al and now its
up Buzz Lightyear and the gang to rescue him before Andy gets home from
Cowboy camp" the nerd grabs his roll n rock beer and drinks it and then gets
Back to reviewing the game.
"It's a typical 8-bit plat former with some good music, but the gameplay is so
terrible. You play as Buzz and the controls are switched around. The A button
shoots the laser and the B button jumps, did the game programmers even try
to get it right. The graphics are ok, but very unappealing, the first stage is in
Andy's room and the only way to get out is to reach the window by the desk.
The only way you can make it is by using the Hot-Wheels toy set and fly in
the air until you beat the stage. As the game progresses you also collect
power ups such as batteries, which can replenish your health. Let's talk
about the enemies in the game, most of them are a bunch of toys which
makes sense, but why are Rex and Ham trying to kill Buzz and also the
Pizza Planet aliens can hurt you to, that is some serious bulls#%t. The only
good thing about this game is that it wasn't made by LJN" the nerd tries to
calm down, but then notices how Buzz got hurt by a leaf in the game and
was so surprised by this.
"You've got to be kidding me, a leaf can hurt you in this game, a f#%king
leaf. How is that even possible, it doesn't even make any sense from a
perspective. Imagine if in Super Mario Brothers every time Mario collects
a mushroom power up it somehow kills him. Oh and by the way you only
have three lives in this game and if you lose all your lives it's game over
for you and there is no continues beyond this point. There is a password
system and thankfully its short and instead of using letters you use the
faces of the characters from the movie such as Woody, Jessie, Bullseye, and the Prospector. You also fight a few mini bosses in the game and it's mostly Emperor Zurg, you also face against the Prospector" the nerd then took
another sip of his beer and got back to playing the game.
"The biggest problem with this game is the jumping. Its so delayed its as if
Buzz is jumping on a f#%king trampoline. Even when you're running and
trying to reach another platform it's so hard to even make a perfect landing.
You're accuracy has to be just right or else you'll never get far in the game.
When you make it to the last three levels of the game, there's a time limit and
if you fail then its game over" the nerd gets so frustrated that he started
screaming and cursing at the top of his lungs. After many hours of playing the
game, the nerd finally beats the last level.
"When you finish the game it just shows one more cut scene of how Woody
and Buzz made it home safe before Andy came back home from cowboy
camp. So in conclusion though this game is hard it's not as bad as the other
pieces of s#%t I've played in the past" and then after that the cinemassacre
logo comes up and the screen goes black.
