Lavender's Blue
By 2cbetter2
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Spoilers for up to Season 4's "The Last Dam Job"
Word Count: 786
Summary: While singing their children to sleep one night, Sophie stumbles across a sad memory for Nate.
Disclaimers: I own neither Leverage as it belongs to TNT – I've made nothing from this so I ask that I not be sued!
AN: This takes place in my verse where Sophie is really a Time Lord in disguise named Romana, so this is a slight crossover with Doctor Who although the Doctor won't make any appearances in this fic.
AN 2: This takes place about fifteen months after When the Roads Meet ( Parts 1 | 2 ) and you might want to read that story first before reading this one!
0o0
It was late one night three months after Max and Marissa made their grand entrance into the world that both were extremely fussy, and had been crying for most of the night. Their parents had tried everything else they could think of to soothe them enough to sleep, when finally Sophie had sat down in one of the nursery's rockers with her son. Nate was just taking the other rocker with his daughter when she began to sing a lullaby softly.
"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly. Lavender's green, when you are King, dilly dilly, I shall be Queen..."
Her voice was so soft and her accent more pronouced from exhaustion, and he was so tired as well that he almost didn't catch the words she was singing. Memories he had tried to bury deep into his mind sprang forward in such an overwhelming way that he had to fight to keep from returning Marissa to her crib and leaving the room.
"Lavender's green dilly, dilly. Lavender's blue, you must love me, dilly dilly, because I love you." She sang every verse there was to the old lullaby, twice over until at last during the part of "Lavender's blue, dilly dilly. Lavender's green, when you are King, dilly dilly, I shall be Queen..." the babies had drifted off to sleep at last.
Nate was the first to ease his way up, careful not to wake the sleeping baby girl in his arms because if she awoke they'd never get her or her brother back to sleep again. He carefully laid her in her crib and after making sure she would be warm enough, he left the room without a glance in Sophie's direction. With a frown of tired annoyance, Sophie mimicked his actions as best she could, and delievered her son to his crib. After taking the time to kiss both of her loves she left the room, and as tired as she was, she decided to seek out their father before seeking out their bed because she knew he wouldn't be there.
She found him in the kitchen, seated at the table, and was surprised yet not surprised to find drink between his hands. Sitting down across from him, she found herself having to quell down disappointment at the sight of it because he hadn't touched any alcohol since before the birth of their children. She also felt worry because something had to be very wrong for him to break over a year of sobriety like this.
"So do you want to tell me what this is all about?" Sophie finally asked when he didn't acknowledge her presence. "What brought this on?" She gestured at the drink. She waited another two minutes for him to answer her but there was none so she stood up. "If you want to talk, you know where I'll be. I'm going to bed." She turned to leave, hoping in a few hours when the babies woke up he wouldn't be too wasted to help her tend to their needs. She was almost out of the kitchen when his voice stopped her.
"It was the song you were singing."
She sat back down across from him again. "What is it specifically about the song that is upsetting you?"
He took a sip of his drink before answering, "When I was very young, I remember my mother singing that same song when she put me to bed at night."
Sophie raised an eyebrow, surprised that this what was bothering him. She knew very little about Nate's mother other than the fact she had died a few years before Sam was born. She knew his relationship with her, unlike that he had had with Jimmy, was always a close one and she knew Nate had loved her very much. But she had been dead for over twenty years so she knew there had to be something else besides the memory involving his mother and this song bothering him.
Sophie realized what it was a split second before he told her.
"Maggie... Maggie used to sing that same song to Sam when he was a baby," Nate said, closing his eyes.
Sophie immediately understood his reaction, and how hard it must have been to hear her singing a song he hadn't heard since before his son died. She started to touch his hand when he spoke again.
"And... I heard her singing it to him again just before he died. He was in and out of consciousness those fews days but restless at the same time. Maggie didn't know what else she could do to soothe him as the doctors reassured us he wasn't in pain, and it did seem to help him."
Sophie sat there in stunned silence, her heart breaking again for Maggie and for him. When she found her voice again she said, "Oh Nate, I'm sorry. I... if you rather I didn't, I won't sing that song anymore." He didn't say anything in response to her for a long time, and she felt herself dozing off when she finally heard him speak again.
"No, I don't want you stop singing the song. The memories it brings up for me are both good and bad. But I also can see the connection it brings between two of the people I loved the most in the past to two of the people I most the most here in the present. I'd like it if they can have the memories of you singing the same song their grandmother once sang to me and once gave their brother comfort before he died."
Sophie watched in surprised as Nate downed the rest of his drink, and placed the glass in the sink. He looked at her and said, "The memory of Sam this song brings up... well I can't always promise I'll always handle it in the best way but I don't want you to stop singing that song to our children." He held out a hand to her. "But I promise you I won't things go so far that I'll be a danger to them."
Taking his hand, Sophie stood up. "I will hold you to that promise."
"I expect you too."
With a yawn, Sophie said, "Let's go to bed now. We've lost too much sleep as it is!"
0o0
EN: The song I used in this is called Lavender's Blue Dilly Dilly and is an old English song/tune dating back to the 17th century.
EN 2: Okay if anyone knows what I wrote about Nate's mother is a contradictory to anything that's already been clearly established on the show itself, just ignore said contradiction please!