All or Nothing
"It's all or nothing." His voice was flat, but the undercurrent of hope made it almost pleading.
"Elf, I don't work that way." Logan turned from the window, his expression pained.
"Make an exception. Just this once!" His voice was hurt by all the evasions, as he stood on the other side of the room, the still-rumpled bed a barrier between them. "It's a simple question. Do you or don't you?"
"I don't know. I don't worry about it. And I don't want to talk about it." Logan said. And then it struck him; if you didn't want to talk about it, then it wasn't love, right? Logan shrugged to himself. If he wasn't in love with Kurt, he wasn't. "I guess I don't, then." He turned back to the window, and didn't see the flare of hurt in the golden eyes.
Kurt didn't reply, but Logan heard the rustle of cloth on fur as he sat on the edge of the bed, and peeked over his shoulder. He wasn't drooped over, or anything, but there was something about the slight, indrawn curve of his bare back, and the way his tail, poking out past the black trousers, curled sedately around him rather than waving in sinuous arcs across the creased sheet…
He crawled across the bed, sliding himself beside Kurt. Tentative fingers stroked the nape of his blue velvet neck. "It shouldn't be so absolute, so black and white." Logan told him. "I'm sure there's something in between, some shade of grey…" Isn't that enough?
"It's all or nothing, Logan." He shook his head, even as his tail laced its way around the other man's thigh, as if to bind them together forever.
Logan tasted bitter remorse like bile in his throat, and knew he couldn't leave it there, couldn't leave Kurt with nothing. His fingers wandered down the blue furred back, tracing their way back up the spine. It is only when his palm flattened between his shoulder blades that he could feel Kurt shaking.
Only when he raised Kurt's head with a hand on his chin did he see the glistening eyes, and his heart twisted. The kindness fell from his lips like greased silk. Anything, to make that broken look disappear. "All," he pledged, the lie tasting sweet on his tongue, and kissed the salt-on-salt of tears away from the blue-furred skin. "If it must be all or nothing, than it's all."
Kurt knew, even as his resistance melted, that it wasn't truly all. But it was as much as he could get, and as he kissed Logan, the lie tasted sweet on his lips, too.