Author's Note: Hey! So, this is a one-shot I came up with based off the song "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face". It's Ezria, Haleb, and Spoby, and it's from the girls' point of view. Obviously, I came up with what happened for Spencer's first time actually seeing Toby, but the rest of it is just about as accurate as I could make it.
I must apologize in advance if my Ezria scenes seem kind of weird. I'm not really an Ezria shipper, but I know a lot of people on here are, and I wanted to give it a shot.
I also must apologize if any of the characters seemed out of character, but I tried my best :)
The first time ever I saw your face…
I walked into the bar at Hollis. It was a rustic, cute little pub right on campus. It was also the perfect place to go to for a burger after dropping off Mike at lacrosse practice.
I sighed as I sat at the bar. I figured it didn't really matter to the one guy working there that I wasn't twenty-one. He didn't even ask.
I didn't even notice who I was sitting next to. I hardly noticed anyone else when I walked in.
"Can I get a cheeseburger, please?" I asked the guy behind the bar.
"No problem."
I took a deep breath. I just needed some kind of calming before I started thinking about…
Alison. Alison DiLaurentis. Would be 16. Last seen September 1st, 2009 in Rosewood, PA.
I sighed, thinking about her more. I knew my parents didn't move to Iceland for a year for my dad's sabbatical. They moved so I wouldn't have to deal with Alison being missing. When I left, I tried to keep contact with the girls, them giving me updates on Alison.
But the calls and e-mails became less and less frequent, until they faded, just like everyone's hope for Alison coming back, alive.
I shuddered thinking about it. I guess the guy sitting at the other end of the bar noticed.
"Are you alright down there?" he asked.
I looked over briefly at him, before looking away. "I'm a bit jetlagged. I just got back from Europe."
I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. "Where in Europe?"
"Iceland."
He nodded again. He began playing with his hands. I tried not to glance over. I didn't want to start anything. Things were already hectic enough.
"I spent some time in Reykjavik. Before I went to Amsterdam. It's a great city."
I finally allowed myself to look at him. He was cute. He had curly hair and really blue eyes. I smiled at him. "So do you go to Hollis?"
He finally looked up at me. His eyes looked bluer now. He was really cute. I swore I could see the pale color of a lake in the moonlight in his irises.
So much for not being creepy.
Still, I couldn't tear my eyes off of him.
"I just graduated. I'm going to start my own teaching job."
That made me smile some more. "Yeah? I think I'd like to teach."
We both tore our eyes away from each other for a minute. I wondered if this would be the start of something.
I couldn't believe that I had gotten a detention. I mean, I know I'm no saint, but detention? Those idiots who broke the vending machine after fifth period were let off with a stern warning. And what did I do? I just ditched gym. I don't get why that bitch Coach Fulton had to give me a whole week of detention for it. Those pot-heads who smoked weed behind school ditched pretty much every day. I don't see any detention slips in their hands.
Needless to say, this sucked.
I couldn't help but roll my eyes as Coach Fulton escorted me to the classroom detention was being held. What was I, three?
I couldn't even attempt to contain the eye roll as I saw this kid sitting there. I only saw part of his head, as he was looking at something I didn't want to question.
I carelessly tossed my bag and sat down.
"What, are you stalking me?"
I looked to my right, seeing that kid Spencer had told me about. I think his name was Caleb, or something like that. I looked at him, needing to find some witty remark to reply, but I found it hard.
"Yeah. I couldn't get enough of that knock-off cologne."
That was a sucky sarcastic comeback, but it was the best I could do. He was so different from anyone I dated, but…he was so cute. His eyes sparkled as he was talking to me, and I tried my hardest to blanch so he wouldn't see my blush. His eyes were like the stars, the gifts to the sky.
Ugh, stop it, Hanna! That's cheesy! And weird! What are you, a stalker?
I just looked down. Finally, I decided I couldn't handle it anymore. I got up. He stuck his leg out, blocking me from going.
"Hey, Princess? Where are you going?"
I gulped silently. His voice sounded different…sexy, even.
"Princess needs a pee," I said sharply, though I felt some color rising to my cheeks.
He didn't move his leg. "Well, good luck. We get our bathroom break at ten after."
I sighed, rolling my eyes, and sitting back down. I muttered to myself, "I've got to get out of here."
Clearly, as cute as he was, he also enjoyed pestering me. "What's the hurry? Wanna be the first in line to see your boy Justin Bieber's new movie?" he inquired mockingly.
Alright, clearly, he didn't know me, and he really, really loved annoying me.
"First of all, it's not just a movie; it's his real story," I snapped.
He scoffed. "Of what? His hair?"
He was really getting on my nerves.
"You know what, just don't talk about the Biebs, okay? You don't know the Biebs, you don't understand the Biebs," I said, fed up. I calmed down a little, and avoided looking at him. "Or his hair."
I heard him laugh a little. "Calm down, girl. It's only an hour," he reminded me.
My thoughts started racing away from me. I recalled what the task was at hand. Stopping Aria's mom from getting to Philadelphia and that art exhibit. "In an hour, she'll already be in Philly…"
"Who?" he inquired cautiously.
"Mrs. Montgomery," I answered, gulping.
"The teacher?" I nodded slightly. "Why do you care? Did you forget to turn in your homework?"
I avoided looking at him, not wanting to show him fear of any kind. Why did I care so much about what this jerk thought? I mean, he was cute, sure, but…ugh, my thoughts were racing again.
"No, if she gets there…a lot of people are going to hurt," I explained vaguely, trailing off. I was such a horrible friend.
He leaned in close to me. "Is Mrs. Montgomery running a terrorist group?" he asked sarcastically.
"Why am I even talking to you? Just…turn around…Sketchy," I snapped, trying not to look at him. The teacher was passing by us now. I really didn't need another week's worth of detention because of this kid.
Wait, false alarm, she wasn't coming to get us in trouble. She came to hand Caleb a yellow slip of paper, and he began to gather his books.
"Wait, why do you get to leave?" I inquired. If there was something I could do to get out of this place right now, I'd do it.
He smirked. I watched him from the corner of my eye. "My social worker just had me excused. You know, e-mail is a beautiful thing." He looked pretty happy with himself as he showed me his phone. "Meet my social worker."
I glared at him, but I was secretly intrigued. I watched him leave.
There was definitely something different about him. Maybe detention didn't suck so much after all.
I remembered seeing him for the first time. It was weird. I had heard talk about him before. He had lived next door to Emily all the time that she lived in that house, but he was a phantom. For as long as Emily and I had been friends and I had gone over her house (which was about five months at the time), I had never really seen him or gotten a good look at him. His long hair was all covering his face whenever I got a brief glimpse of him.
But it was in second period French class that I had finally gotten a good look at Rosewood's own Boo Radley/Phantom. He had gotten a haircut and you could actually see his eyes.
His eyes were beautifully blue. They reminded me of Hanna's eyes…not that I stared in her eyes, or anything.
It was like you could see the ocean in his irises—the sun rose in his eyes. I know it sounds really cheesy, but you never forget looking at your first real crush for the first time.
Crush.
Toby Cavanaugh was my crush? It felt weird and horribly wrong. I knew Emily was good friends with him, which meant that he was probably pretty nice since Emily was one of the sweetest people I knew.
But on the other hand, he was the phantom. Maybe he was a recluse for a reason. Alison seemed to find him really creepy for the longest time. Honestly, I knew nothing about him except for that Emily liked him and Alison did not.
Still, I couldn't help but stare like a young girl at the ballet for the first time. He sat about two rows in front of me, directly to the right.
I sheepishly put my nose back into the book I was reading right before the warning bell rang. I was always early to class. I gulped, shaking my head, chastising myself silently for looking like such an idiot. I was just Spencer. I was nerdy and geeky and guys never gave me the time of day. I had stupid nerd glasses and Alison constantly made fun of my clothes. Why would any guy like me like that? They didn't.
"Hey," a voice said, breaking me out of my reverie.
I looked up. There were his haunting, beautiful eyes. Spencer, breathe! Speak! My lungs co-operated for the first half of my orders. But my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
"Do you happen to have an extra pen I could borrow?"
Was he asking me, of all people, for a favor?
"Spencer?" he asked, confused.
He knew my name?
I shook out of my thoughts and nodded, giving him the pen which was on my desk. For all I knew, it was my only pen, but I didn't really care, if it would give me an excuse to talk to him again.
"Thank you so much, Spencer," he replied with a smile.
I smiled back. "No problem."
Honestly, I didn't care if I got the pen back. I just wanted another excuse to talk to him.
The first time ever I kissed your mouth…
This wasn't something that sweet little Aria Montgomery would normally do.
Well, Little Miss Aria Montgomery with the pink streaks, baby face and the naiveté to boot would do. But when I went to Reykjavik, I grew up. I had that moment that every kid has eventually, when they change or begin to change into who they'll become.
Maybe this was just a side of the new Aria Montgomery I was discovering.
It was her sultry side. I know Alison would've scoffed at the use of that word, but it was true. This Aria Montgomery wasn't being cute or innocent.
I don't think that Aria Montgomery would have brought a stranger in with her to the bathroom.
In retrospect, it sounds slutty, but there was something so different about this guy. Ezra.
I didn't know what to do. I had no experience in situations like this. But I soon realized that I need not panic, because he quickly made the first move.
It was sudden and happened in an instant, as I saw his face near mine. My heartbeat quicken right before his lips touched mine.
My heart fluttered, like a bird taking flight for the first time.
God, I was such a writer sometimes.
I felt shivers shoot up my spine as he ran his hand up my leg. He placed his hand on the small of my back.
I pulled away from him for a split second, smiling as I looked into his eyes again. He quickly kissed me once more, and it felt perfect.
I walked into my house, making a beeline for the kitchen. I stopped when I saw a huge black garbage bag on the table. I put my bag down, looking through the contents, when I realized who it all belonged to.
Caleb.
"Don't worry, Officer; I didn't take anything that wasn't mine."
I turned around and saw him standing in the shadows. I had heard him quip before, but this time, he sounded so…sad. Underneath his sarcasm, of course.
I bit the inside of my cheek as I crossed my arms. "Are you leaving?"
"I thought you'd be relieved."
Something about that revelation broke my heart. "Why would you think that?" I asked, letting my guard down and uncrossing my arms.
Clearly, he tensed up. He crossed his arms. "Because you've been treating me like something you scrape off your shoe?" His eyes became softer. "At least, since our shower."
I tried not looking at him as I walked closer. "Look, I know…I guess…" I clicked my tongue for extra effect. Tsk, tsk, Hanna. "I wasn't…"
The tiniest glimmer of a smirk was on his face. "Ready to see that much of me?" he guessed. He offered a small smile.
"No," I lied defiantly. His stare broke me down. "Yes," I said sheepishly.
"What? And now you think you have to throw down, too?" he asked me.
I gave a small shrug. I finally looked him in the eyes. "What if I don't want to?" I asked meekly.
"That's okay," he said sincerely, his eyes nice (and not sarcastic, for once).
"What if I do want to?" I questioned after a moment's hesitation.
"That's okay, too."
Without thinking, I kissed him. It was filled with so much passion, and it was like no other kiss I had ever experienced before.
I realized that it was the first kiss that actually meant something. It was the first kiss to actually make me feel something inside. I felt the earth move beneath my feet, like time stood still for a split second.
I watched Toby put my things in my car for me. How chivalrous.
Wait a second. I wasn't supposed to think about that. Where was that feminist gene? Wasn't I supposed to avoid thinking of that to keep Susan B. Anthony from turning over in her grave?
I shook myself out of it.
"If it gets too uncomfortable at home, I'm here for one more night; you could always come back," he offered.
I smiled. "I might actually take you up on that," I said. He smiled. My smile faded when I remembered what my original intention was. "I'm sorry last night was a bust."
"Hey. It wasn't a complete wash. To be honest…"
I stared at Toby for a minute, thinking about how I was that scared, nerdy girl in my ninth grade French class.
How things had changed. I was standing before him, unafraid.
Another thought that crossed my mind was how normal silence could feel when you were with a certain person—the right person. Silence didn't feel awkward at all with Toby.
"…it was really fun to kick your ass at Scrabble."
I looked up at him, surprised by the slight smirk. Was he challenging me?
In my head, I had come up with so many arguments: I was feeling off that day, I was too hopped up on caffeine, etc. He was the first person ever to beat me at Scrabble. I even won matches against Melissa since I began playing at the age of nine. Crosswords were never her thing.
He looked at me for a moment longer. He got closer. I had pictured the next moment in my head so many times since I started realizing old butterflies from the ninth grade were coming back, but it was nothing compared to the real thing.
His lips touched mine, and I felt my hands tremble a little bit, like the tiny heart of a bird in a cage. The butterflies were back.
His lips were just so soft, and the kiss was so tender and caring, kind of like Toby, as I had come to know him. He was no longer my crush. He was no longer that creepy kid who lived kitty-corner to Emily. He wasn't the black cat who killed my best friend. He was the start of something new.
When we both finally pulled away, I felt my heart sink a little. I didn't want that kiss to end.
"I wasn't expecting that," I mustered, not wanting to open my eyes, as if I didn't want this dream to end.
"Me either."
It was only after he unwrapped his arms from my waist that I even realized he was holding me. I was so mesmerized by the kiss. I felt his lips still lingering on mine. The thought haunted me, but I liked it.
My heart dropped a little when he started to walk away, his fingers gradually letting mine go. I watched him walk away.
Finally, it hit me.
"Hey, it was not a complete ass-kicking, by the way!"
He turned back around to face me, a smile on his face. "Goodbye, Spencer."
Of course, it was going to be odd explaining the permanent smile on my face to my parents once I got home.
And the first time ever I lay with you…
"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"
Yes. I knew it. I knew because he never let a day go by without reminding me. Even if he didn't say it out loud, Ezra let me know every day through little things.
He brushed my hair out of my eyes, his fingers just grazing my skin. I felt my body go numb for a split second.
I approached him, tentatively, for a kiss. The kiss was perfect. I knew with that one kiss that he knew how much I loved him back.
I realized in those few kisses—with complete certainty—that I was ready. I wanted nothing more than to feel his heart, so close to mine, or to give something so precious of mine to him.
I shivered as I felt his hands work to get my shirt off. My lips never left his as I unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing. I felt his body tense underneath my fingertips.
I loved the feel of his bare skin pressing against mine as he pushed me back onto his bed. He was so gentle, and at the moment, I felt all my worries fade away.
I looked into his blue eyes which I had first seen the moon in.
I felt myself blush as I felt him touch me. I thought to myself about how carnal people made love out to be. I didn't see it that way. With him, it was like I was getting thousands of soft kisses all over my body, wherever he touched. It wasn't dirty or taboo. It was just love.
In that moment, I was so happy. Stalkers and meddling fathers or ominous text messages held no meaning. I was just there with him. Our joy—at that moment—could fill the earth. I felt like there was nothing I couldn't do now that I had him.
I wasn't even so sure how it happened. Everything with him just happened so fast.
But everything also just felt so right.
You know that feeling? That feeling that you get when you watch one of those really cheesy (but guilty pleasure) romance movies where the main character finally admits that she likes the guy she's been spending the last ninety minutes obsessing over? That tingly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, and you just want to start crying tears of happiness?
This was like that times a thousand.
For the first time, I felt pretty. I felt like someone wanted me. I felt like someone finally loved me.
I don't mean that I had never been loved in my life. Obviously, my mom loved me. But she's obligated to love me. With Caleb…he chose to love me. He didn't have to, but he did.
I looked at him, trailing my hand down his chest. I felt him tense up.
Finally, I just kissed him. He kissed me back, like it was the last chance he'd ever have at kissing me.
He stopped me for a moment, and I got a little scared.
"Are you sure?" he whispered finally.
After a moment of nodding, I gave him a slight smile. "I'm sure." I hesitated for a moment before going on. "Do you have…"
He gave me a small nod and I kissed him afterwards. I never wanted this night to end.
I sunk back into the floor of the tent. I wasn't scared at all with him. He lay down on top of me, continuing to kiss me. Unlike our first kiss, this was much gentler. He touched me like I was a precious stone, or like I might break. I tugged at him, letting him know that I was fine.
As he continued to kiss me, I felt his heart beat against my chest, and I wondered if he felt mine.
I hoped he knew that my heart would only beat for him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
For the first time in what felt like forever, I had a solid answer. There were no doubts or second thoughts—not even for me. I was sure about him. If there was one thing I was certain of in my entire life, it was that I was in love with Toby Cavanaugh.
I let out a small moan as he picked me up and brought me over to the bed. I also allowed a small laugh to escape my lips. It was the happiest I think I had ever felt since the whole charade with Alison started.
I removed his shirt with haste, immediately kissing his neck. I felt myself tense when he put his hands on me.
I quickly moved back onto the bed, not taking my eyes off him for a second. The eyes in which the sun rose came closer to me, devious, almost. I could only smile at him. He gave me a gentle kiss as he took of my shirt.
I could never get sick of him touching my bare skin. I felt the ninth grade butterflies make a reappearance and tingles shot up my spine.
I leaned into him, never tiring of touching him. I touched him and I felt him tense up. He placed soft kisses all over my neck. I bit my lip. I wondered what sex would feel like if he was already so amazing.
My lips felt on fire as we continued to touch each other…to love each other.
And as per usual, no words were required. I knew how much he loved me, and he knew how much I did, too.
And in that very moment, I realized how much I loved him, how much I needed him, and how endless our love was. It would last until the end of time, long after we're gone.
"Toby…you know you have my heart, right?"
He stared at me with soft, kind blue eyes before he nodded.
"I love you so much," he said in a barely audible whisper.
"I love you, too."
Okay, I really need to confess something right here. Some of you guys probably know me as a diehard Spobette. But while I was watching this, I watched all these scenes over again (just to make sure I got everything right and put myself in the right mind frame). Right around the last lyric, "And the first time ever I lay with you", I started getting serious doubts. I mean, I roll my eyes every time there's an Ezria moment, but when you take it out of context, you're kind of like, "Aww, they're so cute." When I watched Haleb's first time, I was like, "Am I really questioning right now whether or not I like Haleb or Spoby right now? What's going on?"
And then I watched Spoby's first time.
Just like Spencer, if there is one thing I am certain of, it's that I love this couple. I kid you not when I say I got butterflies in my stomach and my mouth literally goes dry when I watch that scene.
Does that make me a creep? Yes.
But I will wear that creep badge with pride because I will go down with this ship. If you're ever in doubt, watch their first time. Even better? When you watch it out of context, you aren't even reminded that the reveal is in the same episode! It's just Spoby being their incredimazing selves.
So anyway, now that I'm done being a creep, I hope that you enjoyed reading this. Please review! -Kayson
