Author's Notes: I don't really favor Mint over Ichigo that much, but this one is written from Mint's POV, and she is /conceited/, so...yeah. Also, the fourth wall will be shattering.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew.

Chapter One - Laugh

Hello, Readers.

This is Aizawa Mint. I bet you're wondering why I've written to someone as insignificant as you; and I wonder as well. But then I remember why...because nobody else will listen.

Sure, I have my fellow Mews. But you expect me to turn to one of them? I mean, Retasu would listen, but she might accidentally blab or something. You don't even have to be convincing to get any bit of gossip out of her. And the rest of them...I'm not excessively close to Purin-chan, and Zakuro-'nee-sama is too busy to listen to my rants. And Ichigo is out of the question.

You ask me why? I say, now we're getting to the point of this letter. Ichigo absolutely nauseates me. She's ugly, stupid, annoying, and above all, a crybaby. I, on the other hand, am beautiful, intelligent, graceful, and it takes a lot to make me even tremor. In simpler terms...

I am better than her in every single way.

So why does she still get all the guys? I have more personality in my pinky finger than she does in her entire body, multiplied. What is so interesting about her? Why don't I get a love interest? How come she gets that Aoyama boy, Shirogane-san, and Kish, while I'm sitting over here, unloved? Even the other Mews...at least there are hinted implications of romance pairings for them! Retasu gets so many scenes with Shirogane-san and Pai, Purin-chan actually calls Tart 'Taru-Taru', and there are implications of Zakuro-onee-sama with Akasaka-san, and even Pai! (She once said that she'd rather pair up with a toilet than any of the aliens, by the way.)

What about me? I get no special, cute, heart-warming scenes with any of the boys! I mean, there was one episode with Seiji-onii-sama, but he's my brother! Why?! How come a dirty, disgusting piece of vermin like Ichigo can have three suitors at the same time while I sit in a corner, ignored by all?! What do the authors and authoresses pair me up with in fanfictions? A teacup? Do I even get paired up, I wonder? I haven't read any of their works, so I wouldn't know, but I'd bet on my mansion that I am more ignored than any of the other Mews!

Ah, now I'm on the website. It looks like they pair me with Akasaka-san, Kish, and Pai. That's wonderful, I'm not ignored. I'm touched, really. But have I a single scene with any of these men, though? No. Did Ikumi-sama hate me or something? It seems so...

Well, this doesn't surprise me at all. Ichigo gets the most fanfictions written about her than any other Mew. The retard gets more than thirty pages full of fiction, and I get a measly five. Retasu also has five, Purin-chan gets four, and 'nee-sama gets four as well. That means she gets more fiction written about her than the rest of us put together. Now I'm not touched.

In fact, I laugh.

I thought the fanfiction world was always more sensible. They would pair up characters that belonged together, even though it wasn't canon for some strange reason, and they'd give the lesser characters more attention. In the Tokyo Mew Mew fandom, it doesn't seem so. I'm laughing, because it's so revolting I think I might throw up.

Oh, look, I did. It's a very weird shade of green...even Retasu wouldn't appreciate it. And green is her favorite color.

I think I'm becoming delusional. Thank you, writers, for wiping away the rest of my sanity. And more thanks goes to Ichigo.

I laugh at you, stupid cat.

Sincerely, Aizawa Mint

No offense meant to the Ichigo fans and writers... Remember, this one is from Mint-chan's POV, not mine. R&R!