(Based on a discussion on tumblr .;)

You've started to slow down. I can see it in the way you get out of bed, or in the minute ways your body moves when you train. I've watched you long enough. I've edited years worth of video of you at work. I've even watched through your eyes with cams in your gear. I know how you move. You're joints are ruined. I've already started looking into what we're going to do when you can't move as well anymore.

I asked you to retire just once. You just looked at me, smiled sadly and didn't answer. I hadn't expected you to. Loving you can be so hard sometimes. A lot of times. Nothing I'd ever change, but at night the worries gnaw at my stomach like acid.

You disappear into some ruins in Costa Rica. I tell you to get some great footage and you smile at me cockily. You promised you'd be back, you kissed me and then you walked out the door. Months pass.

I don't hear from you again until the box arrives. It has the camera and two SD cards in it. It also has your wedding band.

I must have stared at it for an hour before I sum up the courage to watch the footage. It's the usual stuff. You making some spectacular leaps, explaining the ruins and their history. I feel my stomach sink the longer I watch. You keep making mistakes. It's a spear that gets you. Pins you against a wall and leaves you hanging. You don't have back up. No one to get you out, no one to help you.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm sorry. I'm not coming home this time. I've been chasing death for so long that she finally caught me." Your voice makes me jump. The camera jostles around until you're looking into it. You're so pale already, but there's something in your eyes. Something I haven't seen in over twenty years. Peace. "This was.. you understand… don't you? It's better this way. I love you. You were the only thing that kept me going. My reason for surviving this long. Don't show this to…"

You cough, and blood dribbles down your chin. "You don't need to see this. I won't...put you through that. Remember me."

The video ends there. It stops, with your eyes full of peace and just a little regret. I wonder what that regret is. I watch it again, and again and again until it's burned into my retinas and into my mind and everything is blurry. Then I still don't accept it. I can't. I can't.

You're not coming home.

I close my laptop, wiping my eyes until I can see again. I want to scream, but I don't have the energy for this. Because I knew this is how it was going to end. I pick up the other SD card, I see the name scrawled there, the bloodstain on the label.

A figure pauses in the doorway, silhouetted by the light from the hallway. "Mom?"

"Amelia, sweetie…" My voice wavers as my hand tightens around the card. "Come here. There's something...Your mom…"

God, Lara. You're just like your father.