Bright light shined in my face and echoed everywhere. I groaned and rolled over, refusing to wake to another day of crap. I heard the enchanting chuckle and my eyes opened to see his perfect face.
"Jas…please…more…sleep." I begged, pushing his naked chest away. We had had sex last night and I enjoyed every minute of it, but when you do it three times in a row, you need a little recovery time. He smiled gently at me, his gray eyes tender.
It was good to see that. His medications seemed to be working. He smiled more often, laughed at my lame jokes, and sung his heart out when he was with me. When I had met him, I thought of him as a gentle koala and that's what he was. He took care of me and even invited me over his house.
When I had started noticing some weird behavior, his mother invited me into the world of depression. Jasper had it bad, I didn't know the cause, honestly, I didn't want to know, but I wanted to help. When we moved in with each other, it grew worst and I thought it was from me. He was taken to see a therapist and came back feeling better every day. His medication seriously helped. He told me more, kissed me more, and even seduced me into having slow, lazy sex with him. I could not deny those gray eyes.
"Get up, my sweet Bella. You have work and I made coffee." He drew out the word, smirking delightfully at me. I loved coffee.
I peeked up at him and he chuckled again. I grinned, "Coffee?"
"Yes. I thought I owed it to you since I took all your energy last night." He was smug about it. I rolled my eyes and hit him with the white pillow I was crushing. I blinked a few more times and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I started to yawn, but he silenced me with a passionate kiss.
When we parted, I was out of breath. He smiled one more time at me, but something flashed in his eyes. His face turned into that sleek, calm mask he always wore to placate somebody, but it disappeared as soon as it had came.
When I was dressed and ready, he gave me one more hot kiss, then let me go reluctantly. I got into his car and waved good-bye. I didn't know that would've been the last time, I would see that smile.
…
Slamming the car door, I stumbled inside the dark house, groaning to myself and throwing down my purse somewhere on the floor. I heard it hit the soft carpet as I flickered on the hall light. It shined in my face and I blinked a few times to get used to the feeling.
"Jas! You won't believe the day I had!" I hollered. It echoed in the dark house. I frowned shortly, but I knew he couldn't have left since I took the only car and he would've called if he left. I continued anyway, "The meeting went well, but we can't get anybody to buy the store on Main Street." I shredded out of my black high heels and jacket. I took my hair out of the high ponytail and sighed with relief as I unbuttoned the top snaps to my shirt.
The pencil skirt was going to have to stay on until I felt like taking it off. My stockings had yet to tear, so I kept them on too. I turned on the kitchen light and looked around, "Jas?" I almost tripped over something and grimaced when I saw what it was.
I picked up the black jeans; they were Jasper's, but why were they in the floor. He was usually so neat, it was ridiculous. He hated when I ate in the living room or brought food to bed. Picking up the jeans, my eyes landed on another article of clothing and saw it was a gray t-shirt.
What the hell?
"Jasper Hale Whitlock! You are such a hypocrite! How are you going to call me junkie with all this shit on the floor?" I yelled playfully. I was expecting to hear his beautiful groan, but frowned when I didn't.
I was starting to think he had gone out and just forgot to phone me. I would nag about it later. He knew I hated that. I draped his clothes on the tan couches then paused when I saw something on the glass end table.
They were white pills. They were spilled everywhere, dotting the coffee floor. My eyebrows furrowed and I hurried to pick them up. After I was finished, I put them away and grabbed his clothes. I put them in the washer and walked back downstairs to get the towels out of the bathroom so I could wash those too.
As I stepped inside, I saw the light was on. I almost slipped and feel when I strode into the cold, wet water. I caught myself, grasping the door handle tightly. As I righted, my eyes landed on hands. He was in the tub? His beautiful, calloused hands that he used to give me massages and to play songs for me on his guitar.
Now they were dripping, red. I slowly closed the door so I could see him and squeaked at what I saw. My fiancée, the one who pushed me on accident at the beach, the one who chose Marley & Me over X-Men, the one who kissed my tears away when my mother died, the one who bought me chocolates the day before Valentine's Day, and the one who got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife.
The one who was now sitting in the tub, pink water around his pale skin. His hair was matted to his head with the water and his skin was paler than mine, the albino. He wasn't moving, he wasn't breathing. I screamed, loud and piercing. I was expecting him to say this was some cruel joke and laugh, and then apologizing when he realized I was upset and crying.
My legs were jello, but they managed to crawl me over to my fiancée. I grasped his scruffy face in my hands, I had demanded he shaved today, and he did, but he would always have a scruffy face. My insides were shaking and so was I as I called his name.
"Jasper! Jas, Jas, sweetie. C'mon! This isn't fucking funny!" I was hysterical. A mess. A hysterical, blubbering mess. I ran my thumbs over his cheeks, his high cheekbones, and his closed eyelids. My hands moved to his neck, checking for a pulse.
When I didn't feel the racing artery, I shrieked again, tears falling down my face. I made myself drag into the ice cold tube. I was shaking and I was expecting him to also, but he wasn't. I grabbed his hair, pulling it as hard as I could, demanding he wake up and tell me why he did this.
"Fuck, Jasper! Why…would you leave me?" My voice sounded weak and timid. His face appeared peaceful, but I knew he died harshly, "Did you even fucking care? What about me? What about us?" I cried, shaking his buff shoulders. His head lolled back and hit the hard wall.
My fingers gripped his cold skin, right over his heart. It didn't thump or make any sign of life. I hit his chest, whining. He couldn't do this to me! Not now!
My clothes were starting to stick to my body. I wanted to die. Just like him. Maybe if I sat long enough…I closed my eyes and laid my head on his quiet heart. I thought I had fallen asleep, but I was still awake, wide awake.
Something was buzzing and my fingers reached for it on their own accord. It was his cell phone. He had still had it on. He shouldn't have wasted batteries like that. I dialed in the numbers my shaking digits would allow me to do, "Hello, this is nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"
I didn't answer. I allowed it to fall into the cold water. I wanted to be alone with my Jasper.
…
"Ma'am?" My heavily lidded eyes opened to the hoarse voice. It was a man. A nurse. It was many people behind him.
"He left his clothes on the floor." I replied weakly, "He didn't pick them up. So…sloppy." My voice was weak and my body was shuddering. The man grasped my arm and I screamed loudly, fighting against him. Another person grabbed me, a nurse. She was short and blonde and she led me away with another. I screamed and cried, pushing against them to try and get away.
I don't know what happened after that, but suddenly there was a man in front of me. His hair was blonde and slicked back from his handsome face, "Bella?"
I blinked slowly, "Dr. Cullen." He was Jasper's dad. Tears were falling down his face and he grabbed my arms, holding me up as a cover was draped over my shoulders. A nurse pushed him aside and stared into my eyes.
"Miss? You have a fever? Are you alright?" She asked delicately.
"Yes." I looked away as my hand immediately flew to my stomach. It was supposed to be a surprised, "The baby."
Carlisle's eyes widened and he rushed back over to me, "Bella…"
I smiled softly, thinking of what Jasper would say when he heard, "It was supposed to be a surprise," Tears gathered in my eyes, "I was going to tell him tonight."
"Oh, Bella…" Carlisle ran his thumbs under my eyes, catching the droplets. I raised my eyes up when I saw them carrying a covered body to another ambulance. I was up and out of the wool cover in less than a second.
A person stopped me, yelling at me to calm down. I shrieked at them to let go, "You can't take him away from me! He's all I have! He's all I have!" I shrieked. My wet clothes made me shiver.
…
I was let back into the house. Carlisle had asked to stay with me, but I answered him by slamming the door in his face. I stumbled through the nicely decorated house. Esme had designed it with my friend Alice.
I grabbed his clothes out of the washer; I had never turned it on. I curled up into the bed he had woken me up in this morning. Was it really this morning? It felt like weeks ago. I stuffed my face into his shirt and cried.
My life with him flashed behind my eyes.
"Hi, I'm Jasper Whitlock." He held out his hand and I took with my own. His smile made me smile.
...
"I love you." He told me the first time and his lips fell onto mine.
...
"A baby?" I raised a brow his way and his little grin lit up his face.
"One day."
...
"Nothing can tear us apart, Bella. You were made for me."
...
"I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I shrieked at him.
His eyes were soft and understanding, "You don't hate me. You hate what I did to you."
...
"I want a dog." I put on my best pout.
He smiled widely and my heart fluttered, "We'll get a goldfish and call him Lucky."
"That's a good start."
My fingers touched something that laid on his pillow. Curious and scared, I fluttered my eyes opened and was met with the beautiful scrawl that was his.
I'm sorry, I failed you.
I love you.
Jas
My heart was drenched in cold water and stabbed a million times by my tears. They seemed to melt onto my skin and I clutched onto his shirt, desperate to breathe in his beautiful scent. I fell asleep, but only because I imagined he was there.